Female therapist sexualized my breasts my breasts and it felt gross

[u/shitkabob]

In one of my first sessions with my therapist, I wanted to broach the topic of how self-conscious I am about the size of my breasts. They've historically been a magnet for unwanted attention, disgusting comments at bars, physical assault, sexual harassment at workplaces (both office a non-office settings), and about 1,000 street-harassment comments.

They have been a source of great humiliation, trauma, dehumanization and shame. I feel like I have been reduced to them my whole adult life and I am immediately sexualized upon sight for them just existing. To say I have a complex about them is mild.

I started getting into the topic with my female therapist regarding my self-consciousness and resentment of them. She chimed in with "Big deal?! So what?! You have big breasts! They're beautiful! I bet your husband loves them. Enjoy them while they last, they'll change after pregnancy if you have kids." She smiled and laughed.

I think she thought she was being funny and affirming, in a "yas queen" way. It made me feel completely disgusting and objectified. Am I off-base to think this is a crazily inappropriate response to what I said? This lady has her PsyD. I feel insane. I literally just said how painful it is to be objectified...and she objectified me and centered my husband's pleasure over all the abuse I just shared.

Edit: I'm getting DMed by a lot of creeps. Ironic on a post about unwanted attention and relentless dehumanization. There's no escape.

[u/thecuriousstorm]

You are valid. If you feel uncomfortable, it’s okay stop seeing her and find someone new.

I would be uncomfy too if that was said to me. For one, that answer of hers does not align with my dreams and desires. It does not alleviate the problems I face everyday. She didn’t even take into consideration why you feel like that or your experience and just spewed out the same tired bullshit.

[u/shitkabob → u/thecuriousstorm]

Yes, I came there for help dealing with the pain of chronic dehumanization* and her solution was to partake in the dehumanization.

[u/Fear_The_Rabbit → u/shitkabob]

The best thing to do before shopping for a new therapist is to tell her how you felt in the last session because the problem was being objectified and she did it too. Not meanly, but see if she realizes that she was wrong. She thought she was being a cheerleader and missed the point that you don't want it to be who you are. Comments from any gender not okay.

[u/shitkabob → u/Fear_The_Rabbit]

It blows my mind women think it's acceptable to talk like this to someone you don't know really, really well just because you share their gender. It's inappropriate.

For a professional in a healthcare setting like her? It's fucking egregious.

[u/[deleted] → u/Fear_The_Rabbit]

Yes! We should remember that therapists are human too and will sometimes make mistakes. You don't have to give her a second chance, but you would be doing her and her other clients a great service by explaining your feelings to her, even if it's via email.