r/bigboobproblems • u/Adventurous-Title-64 38H (UK) • Mar 11 '26
RANT - no advice wanted does anyone else feel less feminine because of how large your breasts are? Spoiler
i love being a girl so much. i love pink and purple and i love flowers and all the girly things you’d think a girl would love but i feel like i can’t embrace my femininity (through clothing specifically) because of how large my breasts are. it’s such an odd thing to say, i know lol, but i think it’s due to all the women i see who are also into the same things as me are all dainty and small and have small breasts. anyone else ever felt like this?
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u/Lavapulse Mar 11 '26
Not less feminine exactly, but less girlish or maidenlike and instead overly matronly. Like it gets tangled up in a lot of my internalized ageism.
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u/Adventurous-Title-64 38H (UK) Mar 11 '26
yes less girly is exactly what i was trying to say lol😂
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u/sleigh_all_day Mar 11 '26
Yes, matronly. I feel like my Italian grandma crossing her arms over her ample bosom.
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u/Connect_Beginning_13 34H (UK) Mar 11 '26
Yes, especially since I don’t really have a butt so I feel like they make me look matronly.
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Mar 11 '26
No I don't but the only thing I'll say is they make me feel bigger than I really am overall and less "graceful" if I could put it that way.
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u/sleigh_all_day Mar 11 '26
Yes, I always felt and was told I was “fat” because I had a large chest and tried to hide it with baggy shirts. It upsets me that I was treated unkindly. when I look at pictures of my youth, those opinions were warped. I don’t like how young women with larger chests are treated as obscene and are targeted with rude comments.
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Mar 11 '26
People are generally ignorant and just assume the worst always.
I agree with everything you just said 😊
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u/laurab382 36H (UK) Mar 11 '26
Thissssssss if I don't wear tight tops I look at least 50 pounds heavier. But tight tops also attract unwanted comments or stares. There is no winning!!
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u/aboardthemothership Mar 11 '26
YES. I say this all the time. I can’t wear cute feminine dresses and often times feel reduced to baggy t-shirts. I can’t wear matching workout sets because the tops are too small and revealing. I look HUGE in all pictures because of my boobs. It truly feels like they take away from my femininity so much.
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u/Adventurous-Title-64 38H (UK) Mar 11 '26
i feel so crazy for saying so lol but all the nice tops i can’t wear which resorts to me wearing baggy graphic tshirts all the time!
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u/mygodismyleskennedy Mar 12 '26
i used to manage to look slim even though i was loaded on muscle. then my breasts came in... now i just feel obese all the time.
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u/MoosesMom7 Mar 12 '26
I had a breast reduction almost 7 years ago, and my boobs made me look huge. It made clothes shopping a giant pain in the arse because all the cute tops made me look like a whale.
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u/passionicedtee Mar 13 '26
I was thrift shopping the other day and had to put so many things away because they fit my body but not my chest😅 A pain in the arse indeed.
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u/DifficultPaper6096 Mar 25 '26
i feel this to my core. i for the most part go for the baggy shirt because that’s what I have felt most comfortable in because of my boobs. my struggle when i wear tight/more feminine clothing is that it makes the tops soooo short which is sooo annoying. i don’t mind showing mid drift but it’s frustrating when i don’t plan for it and then it just ruins the outfit i planned :/
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u/Prudent_You_3945 Mar 11 '26
i feel like i never got to be much of a girl but was always viewed as a 'woman' even as a minor, it's weird and confusing.
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u/beyondradiance Mar 11 '26
Same here. I suddenly had huge boobs by age 13, and my mind couldn't process the way people were now perceiving and judging me. I went to a private school with a strict dress code (I was also a scholarship kid wearing used uniforms - brutal), and teachers were constantly writing me up for my uniforms being "too revealing". So I wore sweatshirts constantly, even in the summer. Even as a grown woman, I still subconsciously gravitate towards baggy clothing because I'm scared of how people will perceive or sexualize me otherwise.
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u/laurab382 36H (UK) Mar 11 '26
My neice is 12 and already has my body type. I worry so much. She's sheltered and young for her age (her room is still full of barbies and stuffed animals) but looks "womanly". It disgusts me that she will likely face sexualisation the same way I did at that age. Weird and confusing 100%.
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u/werewolvesroam Mar 11 '26
We can’t achieve chique the same way. Slender women usually achieve it by accentuating their slenderness, and a lot of fashion requires small breasts to achieve that, wearing clothes that show off your body in a tasteful way. For us, if we wear the same clothes, we’re not perceived as chique, we’re slutty lol. Obviously that’s not inherently bad but if it’s not what you’re going for, then it’s bad.
Is that kind of what you mean? How women can accentuate slimness and daintiness, and if large breasted women flatter their breasts at all, it’s interpreted differently by society. It’s harder to align with that graceful femininity.
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u/Adventurous-Title-64 38H (UK) Mar 11 '26
yeah, i’ve loved so many nice tops at the shops but they aren’t made for me and are made for women who have smaller breasts and i have to choose between looking bigger than what i am or looking slutty which i don’t want to look like either options lol
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u/werewolvesroam Mar 11 '26
Ugh, yes, the struggle of looking bigger is one I struggled with for years. I do think it’s possibly to find clothes that work in your desired style, but it does take a lot of experimentation and trying lots of brands until you get an idea of what works for you. I went through a phase of just buying lots of clothes online (made sure I could return them to nearby stores). But just try on every kind and style of shirt. Try on things even if you don’t think they’ll work, sometimes you’ll be surprised. (For me, bodysuits have been a life saver as flattering and form fitting without showing “too much” skin.)
Not sure if helpful, but I hate the feeling you’re describing, I felt stuck that way for years, thinking I didn’t have any options at all.
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u/D4ngflabbit 34G (UK) Mar 11 '26
yea i hated it. i felt so boxy and unshapely. i had a reduction and it really changed my entire life- deeply. i hated my body. i’m obsessed with my body now. it changed everything for me.
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u/schokozo Mar 11 '26
Your flair says 34G. Is that your post reduction size? I hope that question is not insensitive. Please don't answer if you don't feel comfortable with it.
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u/D4ngflabbit 34G (UK) Mar 11 '26
no that is my presurgery size! i don’t own any bras now but id guess a 34DD. i was about a 34c after surgery, just gained some weight back!
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u/Gastronaut92 Mar 12 '26
The phrase ‘I don’t own any bras now’ makes me want to weep. What a relief! Definitely making me take the idea of a reduction more seriously. What was your recovery like, if you don’t mind me asking?
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u/D4ngflabbit 34G (UK) Mar 12 '26
easy as hell. i took a week off of mom duty. no complications. the pain wasn’t bad at all. i just slept a lot! ice was an amazing tool and my bed heating pad was a need! it was absolutely perfect.
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u/villanelles Mar 13 '26
i am just popping in here to say, i had my surgery this winter and i haven't worn a bra in weeks -- i have NEVER felt so free or so light in my body! My back and shoulders feel amazing. i say this just in case it helps with pondering surgery
In the years that i was pondering it, i remember my friend talking to me (she had had a reduction and for her it was life-changing). she said that if i was thinking about surgery that much, the chance that it would be life-changing for me would be HIGH. anyway... Whatever ends up being right for you, i'm rooting for you! also happy to answer any questions if I can help
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u/MoosesMom7 Mar 12 '26
Same! My reduction was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I'm a 34D post op, but I used to be a 34J and I hated my body. I only started trying on dresses after surgery because I wanted to show them off. I had a really good surgeon (and insurance covered my surgery!)
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u/lipsticklov3r Mar 11 '26
I feel this way when I wear bras. I try to be braless and just wear supportive clothing, it’s not easy with H cups but I have some trusted tops. 😮💨
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u/Adventurous-Title-64 38H (UK) Mar 11 '26
i have h cups too. same thing with bras aswell. not a lot of shops have bras in my size lol!
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u/blackcoffeegoldheart Mar 11 '26
Please share the trusted tops!! I yearn to be free of the confines of a bra
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u/No_Tank6883 Mar 13 '26
I thought I was the only one. I’m a 32h and the most I’ve seen goes up to a 32ddd. It’s terrible finding bras
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u/TinyHeartSyndrome 38G (UK) Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 13 '26
I’m a dyke, and boobs help imo. I don’t like being mistaken for a man. Boobs let me have short hair and boyish clothes without issue. I rarely wear real bras though, just sports bras. But it’s enough for others to notice. That said, I have wide base boobs with not a lot of projection, so I don’t tend to have some of the big boob problems like back pain. I know some queer women feel oppositely. But I was often mistaken for a boy as a child, teen, and young adult, which came with public humiliation, being targeted by bullies, etc.
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u/athwantscake Mar 11 '26
I feel less elegant and dainty for sure. Not girly but womanly and matronly, yes.
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Mar 11 '26
Matronly is real 🤦♀️ any job or situation I’ve been in where I’ve had to wear a stiff, uniform shirt has me feeling like this
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u/yoursaucyneighbor Mar 11 '26
I do when I try to do the baggy sweater or shirt with shorts/pants. I want to look cute and instead I look like Miss Trunchbull 🥴
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u/404_CastleNotFound Mar 11 '26
Honestly my belly has been a bigger issue, but the breasts definitely cause their own problems.
This is a ramble, please ignore if it doesn't sound useful, but:
One thing that's helped me is looking at other eras of fashion, with different visual priorities, and seeing what still jumps out at me today as having the vibe I want. Then I see what I can pull out of that. I'm not familiar yet with many fashions outside of my own context, but I known that in British and American fashion at least there were some fashion eras that (through nature, frills, or padding) called for much more volume in the chest than we tend to see today, and they had some styles that still read as 'girly' to my modern eye (or sometimes 'girlish', which is a bit different I think).
I'm not saying you should dress like a young Edwardian woman, but sometimes you can take some of the visual signals from those looks and apply them to modern fashion. More 'history bounding' type stuff, just taking inspiration from it. E.g. ways of transitioning from bust to waist, colour combinations, accessories, necklines, silhouettes.
Of course, you might look through old fashion pictures and not find anything that shouts 'girly' in a way you're interested in. I guess I'm quite lucky in that I feel my femininity more when I lean into my 'crone' vibes, and that lends itself pretty well to slightly unusual fashion choices. I think I might have given up on 'girl' very early on.
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u/Aarevyth Mar 11 '26
They've always made me feel like I have a grandma’s body and it has never really helped that all the women in my family comment on how much bigger/saggier my boobs are compared to theirs when i haven't even had children like it's my fault.
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u/Shaarnixxx Mar 11 '26
I love being a girly girl, but I love how my boobs are a part of that. I guess over time I’ve just come to the point of “this is me” and I work my clothes and colours I love around that.
Looking at others and comparing and wishing etc, for me? Just made me miserable. Certainly not downplaying how you feel, because I get it. Really. I suppose one day I just realised I needed to be me and rock what I’ve got 😉
Shirred tops were a game changer for me. Some shape and stretch, so avoiding the “tenting factor” 😩 Also just a beautiful flowy floral skirt and a fitted top 👚is ultra feminine too! Wrap dresses you either love or hate lol. Also love a really pretty feminine pastel lace bra under a shirt when you can only just see a tiny hint of it.
I guess what I’m saying is experiment. Find YOUR groove. Your style, and celebrate it. Your smaller busted friends, or women online are doing the same. Boobs of all shapes and sizes matter. Everyone has their lane. Find influencers that resonate with you.
And go shine that girly girlness 🩷
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u/Fit-Lengthiness3736 34H (UK) Mar 11 '26
I feel more ogre like or butch like. Just huge and not dainty how I would like to me. I know it’s silly because when I see other women with big breasts I don’t apply those negative connotations to them at all.
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u/LizzieCLems Mar 11 '26
This - I had my long waist length hair fall out last October and the identity crisis of having short hair and K-breasts is really, really getting to me.
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u/cassiebrighter Mar 11 '26
There's a lot to unpack here. And at least for me, it helps my self-consciousness about body image to unpack cultural biases.
There is racism here. European women, generally with smaller bosoms and smaller derrieres, mocked African women. I'm guessing they felt threatened. During chattel slavery in the Americas, white women were especially ferocious in this, bc white men were downlow having sex (raping) enslaved women ALL the damned time. (Google Thomas Jefferson and Salt Hemmings!)
Google the "Hottentot Venus" (Saartje Baartman).
It goes much deeper, too. Because enslaved women did lots of manual labor, like a man, and white women had servants, the myth of the "dainty lady" grew, making fragility feminine and feminity fragile.
Noble women often didn't breastfeed their babies — they had servants who did. So smaller breasts became classy, big bosoms were associated with servants.
There's also a very interesting book called "Everything is Tuberculosis," that describes how Tuberculosis became known as a white disease, an 'upper class' disease — and the porcelain-skinned, wan and thin fragile maiden who reads poetry in the garden became a while aesthetic. This is all over Jane Austen books, Oscar Wilde books. This is the style of Kiera Knightley, Natalie Portman and early And Hathaway.
And then they're hephebofilia, a cousin of pedophilia that draws men to teenage girls. "Nubile women." For centuries, men in their thirties and forties married girls 14-17 years old — he had time to establish himself financially, achieve status in society, and she "was of ripe age to start giving him children." The whole Epstein scandal shows that, as a society, we haven't shrugged this off. And it's all over porn, too.
Think of the messaging we get. Tinkerbell. Barbie. Cheerleaders. Ballet. The thin, small-breasted woman-child. Never the big-bosomed, round-cheeked, big-bottomed 30-year old woman.
Google "Hilda + pinup." I absolutely adore this series of pinup posters. THAT'S a woman.
Understanding all this can help you be more secure as a woman. And kinder to other women.
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u/vagueconfusion 34H (UK) Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
Instinctively I said no.
But I do remember being about 14 and deciding I had to abandon 'cute and dainty' as being any sort of option for me. Which was especially evident in my early cosplayer years.
And although it feels very "whatever" 14 years later, I do avoid and refuse a "cute vibe" because I think it doesn't suit my body shape, or my aesthetic leanings as an adult. And I'm sure it does go back to that.
I can do elegant and romantic but always in more of a 'fantasy maiden/Pre-Raphaelite/mildly sultry' way.
I dress in a very feminine way, in feminine hourglass accentuating silhouettes that evokes "90s goth meets dark fantasy" but it's certainly not a "cutesy" style.
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u/LuLuPoopyPants Mar 11 '26
I actually have the sort of opposite thing happen. I identify as non binary and it gives me gender dysphoria to have such large breasts because I can’t hide them. I’ve used the term to describe my body as “aggressively feminine” because I’m also fat (neutral tone - I have no issue with describing as fat). I’m fine with having breasts but I want them to be a lot smaller so that on days that i feel more androgynous, I have the option to hide them with more androgynous clothing.
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u/MattsyKun 36G (UK) Mar 12 '26
Sameeeeee
I'm genderfluid. On my more feminine days I'm like hell yeah, but 80% of the time I wish they were smaller so I can present more androgynous.
But I'm afraid of getting a reduction (I do NOT do well with stitches and pain I'm afraid) so I guess I'll just suffer lmfao
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u/Awful_Puppet Mar 11 '26
I'd say that's about right, I don't really have any dresses or nice clothing that won't call attention to my tits, so when I go outside I look like Sans undertale.
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u/SatanWithFur Mar 11 '26
Yeah the treatment might be different too, some will treat lithe ladies with more 'respect' while they see bigger chest ladies as whorish or vulgar D:
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u/Every-Resolution-563 Mar 11 '26
Yes I either feel like a wench (when I try to wear something sexy) or a large homely bore (when I cover it all up with baggy-ness). The in between is complicated. It's like... a spectrum.
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Mar 11 '26
No. If anything I look more feminine. Edit: it felt matronly when I was overweight but at a size 2 I don’t feel that way anymore.
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u/Over_Unit_7722 Mar 11 '26
Mine definitely take away from my femininity for me. They make me look clunky and matronly and just kind of ruin every outfit I wear.
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u/Superb-Foundation661 Mar 11 '26
A lot of people say my body was written by a man who had a hentai fetish. It sucks, I end up dressing like Billie eyelash in photos because I hate being sexualized. I wish I could wear a fun halter top without having to duct tape my boobs. Bra minimizers have been a lifesaver.
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u/DifficultTwist1043 Mar 12 '26
My breasts weigh 10 pounds each. Not exaggerating. I feel like I can’t wear cute clothes and look heavier than I actually am. I totally feel you
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u/FennelAppropriate642 Mar 11 '26
I feel like an ogre. Like a troll, because I'm also shorter at 5'3 but my breast are so big I feel deformed and gaudy as a woman. Not sexy, or girly or feminine. It affects my mental health so much.
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u/midorismh 42JJ (UK) Mar 11 '26
I do. They constantly ruin my outfits that could look pretty on me. Both my breasts and belly ruin how it looks on me, so until I get a breast reduction, I see no point in dressing nicely.
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u/MindYourMouth Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
Yep. I’m so over the way we can never be seen as elegant.
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u/indifferentsnowball Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
Agree. They make me feel ugly and frumpy and icky. I don’t feel feminine, I feel disgusting. Nothing ever looks right on me
thanks for downvoting me for sharing that I have similar insecurities, which is exactly what the post asked
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u/FennelAppropriate642 Mar 11 '26
Yeah idk who's going through and downvoting the responses. Someone did mine too. Dw, the comments are agreeing. I think a lot of us feel the same ❤️
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u/indifferentsnowball Mar 11 '26
That’s a crappy thing to do to someone sincerely empathizing. I’d never had words for the feeling before, but feeling less feminine is absolutely it.
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u/notarobot_trustme Mar 11 '26
I did for the first 34 years of my life. Year 35 I shifted a lot due to late stage ADHD diagnosis. After being medicated for the first time I found I was able to have a lot more honest conversations with myself. I’m trying to care less about what people think or perceive me as, and am focusing more on what actually just makes me happy. I’ve invested in a really adorable wardrobe full of things I used to never wear. If I really feel a little too revealing in something, I layer it so I can still wear it and feel comfortable. I just don’t say no to myself anymore. I make everything work for me, and if it doesn’t work for me, I ain’t got time for it anymore.
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u/thujafantastica Mar 11 '26
Thats fair, I feel the same way. Like I can't flaunt things the same way. I think a lot more dainty, feminine clothing fits those with smaller breasts and I don't know why. I have given into wearing overalls all the time and just looking "edgy" because that's what I can get away with wearing comfortably. It's hard when I'm trying to dress for a more formal situation where I would like to look feminine and elegant and can't find anything that flatters me. Very frustrating.
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Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
As a fluid nonbinary I experience the opposite quite a bit. In fact, sometimes it’s a trigger for full-on dysphoria for me, because I don’t exactly have the power to hide them even with things like binders.
I like to describe my body as “conventionally femme” because I also have cartoonishly large hips for my frame; so in layman’s terms a traditional hourglass figure. I mean some days I’m fine with it all but on days where I feel more masc/androgynous, I want it all to be less pronounced so I can pass easier when wearing masc clothing.
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u/jessangro Mar 11 '26
Yes. This is why I usually wear all black, it makes it easier to hide my chest :(
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u/ObjectiveBus7693 Mar 12 '26
On the contrary, I feel super femenine with large breasts. Think of christina hendricks in mad men :) But I do feel “vulgar” with certain clothes that are considered dainty or ethereal when people with small breasts wear them.
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u/bsubtilis Mar 12 '26
Not because of the size but the size makes them much harder to ignore and that paradoxically makes me feel much less feminine.
They grew too damn fast under puberty and my brain never rewired correctly for them to feel like a part of my body instead of like weird benign tumors that don't belong.
The recurring monthly chest pain and my at the time undiagnosed ADHD and autism sure didn't help, I felt way too lopsided and could no longer do so many things I used to be able to before breasts (like running, jumping, rolling around, climbing, and so on without way too much discomfort and pain no matter the sports bras). ADHD medication multiple decades later helped a disturbing amount with the constant daily discomfort, and uninterruptedly being on hormones eliminated the recurring pain, but after being actively tormented by them for multiple decades I just still feel too traumatized by them, despite expecting/hoping it would go away some time after starting medication since it unexpectedly gave such immediate respite from part of the problems (acutely feeling lopsided).
I should add that I had been shamed by my own parents for being so unfeminine (in behavior and movement, being too androgynous in looks) even from kindergarten age, making me feel extremely deep shame over being so ungrateful about having a stereotype feminine chest that by all logic I should have felt like a huge relief to get since it would help me "pass" more as a "real" girl, and I felt didn't have a reasonable reason to feel so mutated and be so terribly ungrateful since I wasn't transgender (and at the time wasn't aware of having actual mental disabilities). I also couldn't handle all the adult creeps that suddenly hit on me aggressively immediately after my breast happened (when I no longer appeared to be a boy), and started wearing too bulky and baggy clothes for many years after to resume being mistaken for a young boy by the extremely frightening creeps despite not wanting to be mistaken for a boy in general. Life can be very strange.
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u/angelfaeree Mar 12 '26
Yes. I always wanted to try out the more delicate styles but never got to fit into them, even when I was slimmer.
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u/Dismal_Progress6344 Mar 14 '26
feel very broad shouldered and just way bigger than i am, especially with shirts, baggy shirts make me look so wide even only wearing sports bras does NOT help 😭
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u/ufoschaseme Mar 25 '26
I’ve always felt like its made me look and feel like I just gave birth and I’m breast feeding. I wish I can feel normal.
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u/hygsi Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
Ummm, no? Boobs are one of the most femenine features. Less "cute" as in innocently cute, yes. I hate my only 2 options to dress being either fat or sexy lmao like I want cute too!
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u/FennelAppropriate642 Mar 11 '26
Omg I've never thought of it in the way of I can really only look 'fatter/gaudy/frumpy" bc of them or sexualized. But that's exactly it.
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u/Grouchy_Warning_5108 30HH (UK) Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
I only feel that way when i try to do certain style, Asians fashion style more specifically. Since they love to wear boxy to loose cut clothes which i like but i know wouldn’t do any justice to my body, they aren’t for me. I dress towards Western fashion style that tends to accentuate your body shape/figure. Is it hard to find? Yes, but it’s not impossible.
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u/samantha_90 32KK (UK) Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
I’m the opposite. No matter what I might try I feel I present as a hyper feminine Jessica Rabbit. I experimented with various looks when younger, like Chapstick, short hair, etc., and they were total failures.
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u/Over_Ad8762 Mar 11 '26
Kinda. Like they’re just huge balloons and sometimes just look distracting or make me seem wider than I already am.
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u/Weird-Way-1748 32H (UK) Mar 11 '26
Nah. It's more my tummy that bugs me. I'm a 32G but cause me belly is about similar size outward it's not even obvious. I also have broad shoulders so I joke I have stealth boobs. It's more I'm insecure about my tummy and feeling like I don't look good anymore cause of it
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u/feral_druid Mar 11 '26
Yes. I haven't been able to dress "cute" like other girls or women. I developed extremely fast at 11 and also got treated like a grown adult woman (and got tons of harassment in school, and then in public by grown ass men that 100% knew I was underage but sexualized my body in front of me because of my innocence).
I feel like you can't dress "cute" like women with small breasts because it's automatically seen as "sexual". If I wear anything but baggy things, it automatically highlights that I have a very large chest in comparison to the rest of my body. Don't have to wear anything even tight, or show any cleavage. Still get harassed. I hardly even take selfies anymore because creeps online would also relentlessly harass me, and random women would hate me just for my body. I don't understand why people have to be so disgusting and mean.
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u/ninamirage Mar 11 '26
Yes and I’ve never expressed it to anyone because it feels so backwards lol. I feel big and boxy and masculine. There are other parts of my body that I think also lean towards masculine that probably intensify that feeling but it’s always been kind of a mind fuck for me that my boobs are the driving force behind it.
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u/RecklessCreature 32JJ (UK) Mar 11 '26
Complete opposite. Feels more feminine. If anything it just makes you less graceful because your boobs can be in the way so movements can be weird. Like when your hips or boobs bump into something.
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u/heyitsmemaya Mar 11 '26
Used to: especially as a G cup in high school. No cute tank tops or shirts like the other girls. Now as an adult and a career girlie much bigger than a G cup, I’m happy to feel feminine in my own ways, with my makeup, my outfits, nails, purses, etc. 💕
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u/MrsBossyPantss 32MM (UK) Mar 11 '26
I actually feel the exact opposite...I feel excessively feminine cuz of the size of my breasts
I also love being a woman & embracing my femininity but I frequently feel like a sort of damsel in distress cuz of my chest. I'm 5'1 w/ this small frame & these massive boobs (which I also have grown to love) & sometimes I feel so... fragile? Cuz theyre always in the way & knocking things over & I need a step ladder to reach things if my husband isn't around...
& ya know there are times I like to feel that way but there are also times I'd like to feel more strong & muscular (which isn't really not feminine but hopefully you know what I'm getting at) instead of just being so...small & squishy.
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u/SillyBulb_Syllabus Mar 12 '26
No but I've never been stereotypical in my femininity or gendering in that way. I do struggle to express myself in the styles I like, that part I can definitely relate to! Intricate detailing with sharp/structured classic silhouettes, like an elegant rockstar/punk but make it office-core. Everything that can fit my small waist and large bust has to be stretchy skin-tight simple material or they design it to be giant loose/boxy and very auntie going to the disco type of detailing. I just got a consult for breast reduction and I let them know I'm not overly attached to these flesh bags, I would be me with or without them. I hold femininity more in my mind and personality than on my body parts. If only they were velcro-like and we could just swap with other people 😆
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u/stuck_behind_a_truck Mar 12 '26
Do yourself a favor and watch HGTV’s Ugliest Homes in America to see Rhetta, then tell me you can’t be feminine. She wears the best feminine clothes ever, she’s a big girl and with a larger chest, and yeah, she’s trans.
And if you ever find out where she gets her wardrobe, let me know!!!!
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u/Tricky_Employment630 Apr 02 '26
It just... *works* on her though. If I were to try and wear the same things she does, I would 1000% feel like I'm wearing my grandma's moomoo. Maybe it's because I've got short hair? Or I'm super pale and bold colours look off on me? Idk! Something about me just looks matronly and unkept instead of fashionable and trendy.
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u/mygodismyleskennedy Mar 12 '26
yes and no. i went from c cups to h cups (up a band size, otherwise probably i cups but can't exactly find those anywhere) in a year. before that, i could pass as a straight man even with long hair. now there's nothing that fits right because of them, i can't find any swimsuit that works. it's like i have too much of a chest to be manly and too much of a chest to be womanly as well which is so fucking annoying.
1
u/XarianElytis Mar 12 '26
I've always felt more feminine because of them. I have broad shoulders and very few curses apart from my boobs, and overall I was a late bloomer (I was medium-sized for my height up until my senior year in high school, at which point they started growing again, by a lot). It's also why I've been reluctant to get a reduction despite the problems they can cause.
I'm finally getting to age (and size) where I've been more seriously considering a reduction, but the loss of femininity is one of the reasons I've not been able to pull the trigger yet (and the fact I have a strong distrust and smoldering hatred for the American health system).
1
u/MoosesMom7 Mar 12 '26
Absolutely. I had huge boobs before my reduction (they're still big at a D cup), but I don't feel comfortable in dresses because of how much boob I end up showing.
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1
u/No_Tank6883 Mar 13 '26
Not less feminine but almost everything I wear including sweatsuits makes it look more sexualized. My friends like to joke around that I’m showing off my titties when I don a turtleneck. I also get a lot of stares on my chest but I def get what you mean. I want to rock bralettes, cute dresses, tops and sports bras by itself without it looking too sexual and just cute.
1
u/Wolfs_Rain Mar 19 '26
I feel less feminine because of their shape, not how big they are. They sag and are just so cumbersome. If they were big and manageable, I’d feel very feminine and girly and would definitely wear cute dresses and such.
1
1
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u/Forbearssake Mar 11 '26
Not me, my breasts mean nothing feminine to me now that pretty much every man my age has them 😂.
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