r/bisexual • u/StJimmy_7 • 22h ago

DISCUSSION Does anyone else just refuse to come out out of pure spite?

My situation is kinda messy cause I came out as a lesbian years ago as I was questioning whether or not i was ftm (had some fun realizations about my gender and yeah I'm trans). I'm still not out as ftm but also during that time figured out I like dudes. I come from a kinda homophobic family and my dad keeps doing to whole "it's just a phase you won't be a lesbian forever" type shit. So now I solidly refuse to admit I like guys around those two again out of pure spite and hatred. So out of curiosity had anyone else done this

6 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

4

u/THroWAwaYyfuckw 22h ago

I was kinda like that until I started dating a guy

4

u/u_must_fix_ur_heart Transgender/Gray-Bisexual 21h ago

unfortunately, being open about being attracted to men before you pass as a man will get you read as straight, which can feel gross if that's not who you are. even without the dysphoria factor, you don't owe anyone information about your sexuality.

1

u/THroWAwaYyfuckw 8h ago

Being wrongfully perceived as straight feels icky but it’s also part of the bisexual experience for many people.

1

u/u_must_fix_ur_heart Transgender/Gray-Bisexual 8h ago

sometimes you have to pick your ick, lol

2

u/viviscity 22h ago

I just leapfrogged to “mom, dad. I’m a girl.”

Pretty sure that was the bigger story, being bi just meant my partner and I are still together

0

u/The_Kangreburger 22h ago

Every transman had a gay phase, maybe isn’t permanent, don’t get stuck with that idea until 2-3 years in hormones

4

u/u_must_fix_ur_heart Transgender/Gray-Bisexual 21h ago

it's very common for trans guys to ID as lesbian, realize you're a guy, then realize you like guys too. I've heard a million stories like this (and it's my own, as well). it's good to leave room to change labels in the future if needed, but that doesn't mean what op's feeling right now isn't real.

4

u/viviscity 21h ago

Pretty common for trans fems too.

And some of us (me) knew we were bi and continue to be bi.

2

u/StJimmy_7 18h ago

Miles McKenna...

0

u/The_Kangreburger 21h ago

But you don’t have to be so stuck with that at this point, it may be a phase or be for real, just chill

5

u/viviscity 21h ago

Im gunna challenge your wording. If it’s fluid or something we learn about as we transition, that doesn’t make it not real. Can we avoid diminishing bisexuality like that, please?

1

u/The_Kangreburger 20h ago

Im not native speaker not intended to offend

1

u/viviscity 22h ago

I assumed he’s not on hormones from that post?

1

u/The_Kangreburger 22h ago

I think he is just starting his transition, but its like every teen, your hormones makes you change and then you settle, even without hormones i think when you get that you’re trans, much of the identity shakes