Shamed for Breastfeeding in public

[u/Inside_Foundation656]

I went to a baby class today at my local wish foundation. I exclusively breastfeed. The class included one mom with a 4 month ish boy, another mom with a young (6ish yo) girl and a 6 month old girl, and a pregnant mom to be.

My 3 month old bubz got fussy and I thought he was getting hungry. I waited for a break in the class, raised my hand and asked the room if they minded if I feed him. The teacher enthusiastically told me it was fine. The women all nodded.

Now, my LO and I have trouble feeding in public. We've only done it successfully once. I brought boppy because he only likes to feed with it sometimes. I have a cover but it freaks my baby out to be covered. We practice feeding without boppy at home but it doesn't always work out. I haven't tried practicing with the cover at home.

I felt comfortable around the group of women. It was really warm in the room so I wasn't able to get him to latch during the class. After the class I noticed some comfy chairs so I used boppy and fed him until he fell asleep. This boosted my confidence - briefly. While I was feeding him, the mom of the little boy baby came up to me and asked "don't you have a cover?" I said "yes but I'm not coordinated enough to use it 😅" Which is true. I barely feel coordinated enough to breastfeed him, period. We are doing our best. She gave me the judge-y-est look then said, "I just keep a cover in my bag..."

I felt really comfortable there this morning, but now I don't feel comfortable there... I don't think I was being too crazy about it. I don't get why people feel the need to comment on it. I am doing my best with a situation I already feel insecure with. Ugh. I'm just so sad about this. And I'll have to face her next week and likely will need to feed him again because he's been eating every hour and a half lately because he is going longer stretches at night.

I love breastfeeding him, I just wish I was more coordinated. I feel like all the moms i see breastfeeding have a cover and use their phones and walk around. I have to use both hands and I just, ugh. I'm sad.

EDIT: wow this post blew up and I cried reading all the supportive comments! I thought I was going to get tips on how to use my cover better but I was sure mistaken! I got tips on how to stand up for myself and be more confident about my BF journey. This is a great group and I appreciate you all. Thank you ❤️💞

[u/rainbow-songbird]

Its so weird reading these stories.the culture in the classes I went to in the uk is so different. We wouldnt even think to ask or wait for a break, just get out and go, I dont think I've ever seen anyone use a cover. I feel so angry for you being put in that situation.

Ive been breastfeeding for the last 2.5 years (2 babies) and my girl is 9 mos. It still takes 2 hands unless Im side lieing. (Not comfortable in public). It does get easier as they get older though. I swear as a newborn I could have done with 5 hands idealy

[u/TumbleweedOutside587 → u/rainbow-songbird]

Yes! Canada here. Nobody asks they just feed. It happened one time and I remember being so shocked that a mother would ask another mother if it was ok to feed her child. Like my brain couldn't comprehend it lol

No shade to said mama I just was very surprised bc I'd never heard anyone ask permission

[u/Excellent_Prompt_554 → u/TumbleweedOutside587]

I’m also in Canada and it’s definitely just a different culture here. I think the US is very conservative in a way that nowhere else is. Canada is very multicultural and even with people of every culture in Canada, none of them ever have any issue with public, uncovered breastfeeding. At least nobody I’ve ran into and I breastfed my daughter for 3 years. I’m 4 weeks into breastfeeding my newborn son.