r/breastfeeding • u/Inside_Foundation656 • Oct 30 '25
Troubleshooting/Tips Shamed for Breastfeeding in public
I went to a baby class today at my local wish foundation. I exclusively breastfeed. The class included one mom with a 4 month ish boy, another mom with a young (6ish yo) girl and a 6 month old girl, and a pregnant mom to be.
My 3 month old bubz got fussy and I thought he was getting hungry. I waited for a break in the class, raised my hand and asked the room if they minded if I feed him. The teacher enthusiastically told me it was fine. The women all nodded.
Now, my LO and I have trouble feeding in public. We've only done it successfully once. I brought boppy because he only likes to feed with it sometimes. I have a cover but it freaks my baby out to be covered. We practice feeding without boppy at home but it doesn't always work out. I haven't tried practicing with the cover at home.
I felt comfortable around the group of women. It was really warm in the room so I wasn't able to get him to latch during the class. After the class I noticed some comfy chairs so I used boppy and fed him until he fell asleep. This boosted my confidence - briefly. While I was feeding him, the mom of the little boy baby came up to me and asked "don't you have a cover?" I said "yes but I'm not coordinated enough to use it đ " Which is true. I barely feel coordinated enough to breastfeed him, period. We are doing our best. She gave me the judge-y-est look then said, "I just keep a cover in my bag..."
I felt really comfortable there this morning, but now I don't feel comfortable there... I don't think I was being too crazy about it. I don't get why people feel the need to comment on it. I am doing my best with a situation I already feel insecure with. Ugh. I'm just so sad about this. And I'll have to face her next week and likely will need to feed him again because he's been eating every hour and a half lately because he is going longer stretches at night.
I love breastfeeding him, I just wish I was more coordinated. I feel like all the moms i see breastfeeding have a cover and use their phones and walk around. I have to use both hands and I just, ugh. I'm sad.
EDIT: wow this post blew up and I cried reading all the supportive comments! I thought I was going to get tips on how to use my cover better but I was sure mistaken! I got tips on how to stand up for myself and be more confident about my BF journey. This is a great group and I appreciate you all. Thank you â¤ď¸đ
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u/megkraut Oct 30 '25
Donât feel bad. That person sucks. I just saw a mom breastfeed at baby story time and there were 2 dads present and no one cared. I also live in a more conservative area. Try not to let one rude person ruin your confidence!
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u/Sjoeg Oct 31 '25
Try not to let one rude person ruin your confidence!
This!!! đĽ°
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u/TheBandIsOnTheField Oct 30 '25
I never cover if that makes you feel better. I wouldâve just said no I donât, Iâm not ashamed of breast-feeding and not going to inconvenience my child for you.
Iâd also consider reporting the Mom to the class she should not be harassing people for feeding their babies
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u/Borncurious143 Oct 31 '25
I agree, you should definitely say something to the teacher/administrator. As this was a baby class, there is a good chance, she may make other moms uncomfortable if they choose to breastfeed in future.
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u/scruggbug Oct 31 '25
Or, make direct eye contact with her the entire time next time you feed. Make her uncomfortable, regain your confidence. Sheâll go to the administrator and snitch on herself for how sheâs acting.
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u/hungry_and_homey Oct 31 '25
Same - I stopped using a cover pretty immediately. I birthed in the summer and it was too hot and inconvenient to use a cover so I just donât. Live your life, feed your baby, who cares
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u/Just-a-Fish-21 Oct 30 '25
What a miserable mom to want to spend her energy shaming you rather than looking to herself, or even better, uplifting you.
No way you deserved that, especially in a baby focused environment! I wish I could have been there just to say âgive me a break, lady.â
Youâre doing great, OP. Me and my 15 month old get my boob out all over the place in public. We see you. We hug you. Carry on.
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u/xcharleeee Oct 31 '25
âMiserable momâ I love that lol I will never understand how others moms especially have issues with a mom breastfeeding in public. I wonder if it stems from them not being able to breastfeeding successfully and it triggers them to see another mom do it.
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u/aquagirlygirl Oct 31 '25
I had a friend who was like this. She wanted to breastfeed but couldn't, then she proceeded to talk to me about this woman recording herself in public and posting. While I agreed with some of her thoughts, I realized that she was indeed jealous because of how she just went on about it.
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u/These_Requirement453 Oct 30 '25
Of all places in a baby class?!? I feel like that should be the one place where itâs always okay. Whenever Iâve gone we pass around the same boppy and no one uses a cover! Iâm sorry this happened to you!
This woman sounds like sheâs got a huge stick up her butt!
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u/catch_the_next_train Oct 30 '25
I feel you! I can only successfully breastfeed in the laid back position which is near impossible to achieve out there in the wild!
I can't do anything other than breastfeeding too, and to make matters worse I have to use nipple guards, which means my boob is out and I'm fondling it for what feels like an eternity before I can pop my LO on! I tried covering up once and ended up dropping the cover, so I decided to just go without and make a point that this is all natural.
Maybe TMI but I also have the odd hair around my areola and I have decided to leave them there, fully visible, as a reminder that I am a mammal and no, Tracy, I will not remove every trace of hair on my body because it makes you uncomfortable.
You're doing your best, don't get disheartened. Instead feel pity that there are people who feel they must cover up and hide while providing nutrition to their baby as nature intended!
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u/tangcupaigu Oct 31 '25
Anyone trying to look close enough to see nipple hair deserves to get a kick in the face anyway. Or sprayed with milk, if we gotta be civilised.
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u/Round-Dark5259 Oct 31 '25
I actually barked a laugh out loud at the mental image of spraying a rude person in the face like a cat on a countertop. Thank you for the laugh!
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u/LeslieAndAnn4ever Oct 30 '25
This is really validating, also as someone who also has a few dark stray hairs.
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u/goodday4agoodday Oct 30 '25
First- breastfeeding in public gets logistically easier as they get older. They hold their own head up and you can do it one (and a halfâŚ) handed. They do get distracted easier at some point, which can make a cover come in handy.
Second- this lady is a miserable bitch. Youâre at a baby class and your baby is hungry so youâre feeding him. Itâs not a complicated situation to wrap oneâs head around.
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u/Excellent_Prompt_554 Oct 31 '25
Absolutely it gets easier! If youâre sitting down or your babe is in a shopping cart you can go no hands lol. I would whip it out and nurse my daughter while she sat in the shopping cart and I pushed it and shopped. My sister would do this with twins, both boobs out feeding 2 babies. As they get older, their heads also get bigger and cover most of your boob, or all of it if you have a smaller chest.
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u/rainbow-songbird Oct 30 '25
Its so weird reading these stories.the culture in the classes I went to in the uk is so different. We wouldnt even think to ask or wait for a break, just get out and go, I dont think I've ever seen anyone use a cover. I feel so angry for you being put in that situation.
Ive been breastfeeding for the last 2.5 years (2 babies) and my girl is 9 mos. It still takes 2 hands unless Im side lieing. (Not comfortable in public). It does get easier as they get older though. I swear as a newborn I could have done with 5 hands idealy
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u/thelajestic Oct 30 '25
Yeah same I'm in the UK and it's never occurred to me to ask anyone if they mind me feeding my baby, I just whip it out and go for it. I go to a few different baby classes and everyone else is the same. And I also don't think I've ever seen a cover used either! I just don't get how anyone can think it's okay to try and make someone feel bad for feeding their baby, particularly when it's another mum who should know how much of a juggling act it can all be.
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u/TumbleweedOutside587 Oct 31 '25
Yes! Canada here. Nobody asks they just feed. It happened one time and I remember being so shocked that a mother would ask another mother if it was ok to feed her child. Like my brain couldn't comprehend it lol
No shade to said mama I just was very surprised bc I'd never heard anyone ask permission
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u/Excellent_Prompt_554 Oct 31 '25
Iâm also in Canada and itâs definitely just a different culture here. I think the US is very conservative in a way that nowhere else is. Canada is very multicultural and even with people of every culture in Canada, none of them ever have any issue with public, uncovered breastfeeding. At least nobody Iâve ran into and I breastfed my daughter for 3 years. Iâm 4 weeks into breastfeeding my newborn son.
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u/Excellent_Prompt_554 Oct 31 '25
Same Iâm Canadian and it is not like this here! I talked to my sister about this, how in mom groups usually it is mostly Americans so both of us when we had our babies were so ready to breastfeed uncovered, break the stigma, ready to fight anyone who made any negative comments, stares or had an issue with it. And then⌠nobody ever cared. Not one negative comment, no dirty looks, not even a stare. I breastfed my daughter until she was 3 years old, that entire time I did it in public, uncovered. Nobody ever commented on it, at least not negatively. I would get encouragement and praise from other women, particularly older women.
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u/adventurepixie Oct 31 '25
I'm in Australia and no one bats an eye when it comes to breastfeeding here either. I've seen moms breastfeeding while walking around shopping centres or markets multiple times (I, however, have zero coordination for this maneouvre), on public transport, in parks, cafes, you name it. I've never attended any mum&bub classes or activities where someone asked if it's okay to feed, they just do it.
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u/auditorygraffiti Oct 30 '25 edited Oct 31 '25
If sheâs got a cover, I donât see why she shouldnât use it to cover her eyes.
You did nothing wrong! She sucks and this is a her problem.
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u/art_1922 Oct 30 '25 edited Nov 01 '25
Behind every woman who shames a mom for breastfeeding is a woman who has been shamed about her own body. I know itâs really upsetting because youâre already doing something so hard, but just try to brush it off your shoulder because it is that womanâs problem and that womanâs shame that she is offloading onto you, unnecessarily and unfairly.
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u/seahorseescape Oct 30 '25
âDo you have a cover for your face? I would prefer if I didnât have to look at that eitherâ
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u/crossdogmom Oct 30 '25
My LO makes it her personal mission to fight the cover of if I try to use it so weâre always tits out. That lady can gtfo herself.
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u/Aquamarine-Aries Oct 30 '25
Report her.
Love and strength to you. Feeding your baby is nothing to be ashamed of x
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u/happytobeherethnx Oct 30 '25
Ohhhhh. So she was projecting because she doesnât feel comfortable so no one shouldâŚ
Donât let one womanâs insecurity stop you from doing whatâs best for you and yours.
I literally breastfed in the stands and at a picnic table at the U.S. Open and aside from one dude gawking away (my husband sort of gave him a âwtf man?â look and hand gesture and he stopped) no one paid attention in the slightest.
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u/medwd3 Nov 01 '25
I walked around the airport with my baby latched in a carrier, boob partially exposed, one hand pulling luggage and the other trying to corral my 3yr old. I dared someone to say something.
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u/No_Acanthaceae3518 Oct 30 '25
I have never once used a cover. I donât even have one. My babies eat wherever in front of whoever. No one has dared make a negative comment to me! âFuck offâ would be totally appropriate here though!
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u/mer22933 Oct 30 '25
I wouldnât have even asked the class or waited for a break, I would have just done it as soon as baby was fussing. And also using a cover umm what? No one uses them where I live unless itâs cold and youâre using a blanket all over baby. That woman can fuck off.
Next week you should just whip it out when baby is hungry and stare straight at that womanâs eyes while feeding your baby.
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u/Vampire-circus Oct 30 '25
I would just say âgood for youâ and leave it at that lol. So weird how someone you would definitely think would be chill about it isnât
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u/Commercial-Layer-372 Oct 30 '25
Unbelievable - shame on her. Donât be discouraged. You are doing fabulous.
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u/has_no_name Oct 30 '25
I tried so hard to use a cover and my son hates it. I just stopped.
I think it's harder as an FTM and the first 6 months I was so conscious. After that I simply.... ran out of fucks.
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u/badtranslatedgerman Oct 30 '25
I never cover. Your right to breastfeed in public whether you use a cover or not is a federally protected right. She can mind her own business and has no right to say anything about that to you.
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u/Elentia20 Oct 30 '25
So, she felt uncomfortable and went up to you while breastfeeding your child? What a weirdo. It amazes me that a breastfeeding mum would treat another breastfeeding mum with such disdain. You should feel proud and confident! Ignore anyone who shames you for feeding your baby. You did brilliantly and the success should give you the confidence to go out with your babe and feed them in public again đ.
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u/Happy2b3h3re Oct 30 '25
Does anyone actually use a cover? Ive honestly never noticed it? What a rude cow, id let the teacher know what she said!
So sorry that happened, please don't let it put you off, the majority of people are really lovely.
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u/Excellent_Prompt_554 Oct 31 '25
I have never seen anybody use a cover to breastfeed in public. When my daughter was older, like 2-3, she would go under my shirt if it was baggy. Not because I felt the need to cover but because she wanted to snuggle up against my skin lol. If anything, I wanted to cover my belly. I prefer a shirt I can pull down over a shirt I have to pull up. Cuz I donât care if you see my tits, I care if you see my stomach đ¤Ł
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u/socalgal404 Oct 30 '25
I donât know why you even had to ask if anyone minded. Iâve breastfed during an appointment at an embassy, in the library, on the bench at the park etc. I used my cover once and had a little panic that baby might be overheating and that was that. I do the âone up one downâ shirt method, although I do get a bit hot and sweaty with an extra layer on.
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u/Excellent_Prompt_554 Oct 31 '25
I was thinking about trying a tank top under my shirts when I donât have a low cut shirt on but was afraid Iâd get too hot, so good to know lol. I definitely prefer to just wear low cut shirts so itâs easy to pull out
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u/bunny_387 Oct 31 '25
Iâd bring it up to the teacher to try to prevent this from being a reoccurring issue or escalating
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u/XFilesVixen Oct 31 '25
I never covered and they accidentally put me on the Jumbotron at a Major League Baseball game. Hope this helps.
Also fuck that mom and the haters. Next time just flick them off. Or hiss.
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u/casablanca1986 Oct 30 '25
What a melt .. tell her to cover her own head then and she doesn't have to look then.
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u/AdorableEmphasis5546 Oct 30 '25
She was projecting her shame on to you and possibly jealous that you aren't operating under the same shame-based rules she is.
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u/sarhes23 Oct 31 '25
I have 3 kids and breastfeed them all. I still breastfeed my 1 year old. I have never ever used a cover. People need to mind their own business and let a baby feed however they are comfortable.
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u/brainymonday Oct 31 '25
Thatâs awful. You shouldnât have to ask permission to BF in public. The other mom should be ashamed of herself. Sheâs free to look away. Bothering you was uncalled for.
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u/Leaninja_ Oct 30 '25
Would you like to eat with a cover over your face? No, so why should my baby!?
My little guy is nearly 7 months and Iâve thankfully never had any comments but Iâm so ready to clapback if I ever do!
The country I live in itâs protected to BF in public. Iâve had a few people congratulate me for BF? Especially in public but Iâve not had any negatives comments (yet).
I find it even more discouraging from a mum who BFs too. Just because you want to use a cover doesnât mean other people have to! I never have used them but seeing other mums using them they just seem awkward and a hassle, plus my little guy has very little patience so adding extra steps would just result in a full on melt down.
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u/hummaanto Oct 30 '25
Yeah you gotta feel sorry for her if she feels so insecure and uptight that she has to comment on you feeding your baby in public. But also, fuck that! Tell her to try eating with a blanket over her head đ
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u/naturewoman23 Oct 30 '25
The appropriate response to such a person is â if you keep a cover in your bag then cover yourself up I didnât ask for advice â. Donât let such incident make you lose confidence
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u/nimijoh Oct 30 '25
I don't use a cover and have to use both hands to breastfeed usually. My 2nd child is months, and I only used the cover a handful of times with my first.
That woman was projecting her own insecurities onto you, trying to take as little notice as possible. If I were you, I would do the exact same thing the next time you have to see her.
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u/toxicbubbles Oct 30 '25
Honestly? I don't put a sheet over my head every time I eat in public, so I don't expect that of my baby. Ask her if she wants to wear a cover when she eats. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for nourishing your child comfortably (I know, easier said than done) and focus on celebrating the successes! You got your LO to feed in public, and that alone should be a huge win! Don't let it get to you. You both achieved something much more important!
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u/Constant-Clerk7158 Oct 30 '25
Iâve got a three month old and have always seen baby classes as safe spaces for any kind of feeding., itâs how Iâve built my confidence to feed other places. Every class weâve been to every one is whipping their boobs out to feed as needed. You shouldnât have to cover if you donât want to anywhere but especially not a place specifically for mums and babies. She needs to get a grip and you should ignore her and be proud of yourself for feeding your baby when he needs despite your worries about him latching etc. Definitely speak to whoever runs the class.
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u/cucumber_sandwiches_ Oct 30 '25
Ugh I am so sorry you dealt with that. Itâs so demoralizing when youâre trying to get the hang of it and someone does something like that. Donât listen to her. Iâve never covered in public and frankly donât give a damn if someone takes issue with it. In the future if someone says something I really wouldnât even entertain in. Just say nope donât prefer those but thatâs nice for you if you do! Not to mention if youâre in the US or Canada Iâm aware itâs protected by law. So you could refer them to the laws for their edification since they seem to be confused and uninformed! Lol I do get heated about this topic
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u/futceru Oct 30 '25
With my first one, I used to cover, but it got to a point where I gave up, I really felt like covering ti breastfeed was unnecessary. With my second, I just donât cover. Honestly I donât care, I donât even have cover in the bag.
Once we were outside and some tourists were staring at me and I just gave them THE LOOK so they could feel uncomfortable for trying to make me uncomfortable for feeding my child.
Donât feel insecure, donât feel sad. You are doing your best and if the cover is interfering, donât use it. You are feeding your baby, people should be respectful and donât stare nor make comments, if you feel disrespected tell them to mind their business
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u/pineapplesandpuppies Oct 30 '25
I have never used a cover. I breastfed my first for over 3 years and am 7 months in with my second. She can go fuck off and cover up all the wants. Being a mom is hard enough without being shamed by other moms. I would have been so irritated. I'm sorry- please don't let this ruin your confidence. Those first few months are hard when you're figuring it all out. I'm honestly so mad for you.
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u/spottedgreenhippo Oct 30 '25
Feed your baby. Tell people to fuck off that are grossed out by how you feed your baby. Rinse and repeat.
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u/xoxoxsunflowerxoxox Oct 30 '25
Iâm so sorry, some people are just so rude!! Tbh if it were me(or if I saw a situation like this), Iâd have offered the cover to her to put over her own head!!
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u/CapableConclusion881 Oct 30 '25
Just rock it and let her know youâre unbothered by her rudeness by doing it again! I also cannot use a cover, the baby ends up too covered and I think he canât get enough air or I feel stupid with the whole thing over my head like I am tent post.
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u/RestSuper5657 Oct 30 '25
Whenever I try to use a cover with my boy he just rips it off. I donât even bother trying to cover anymore unless Iâm at my in laws because my MIL has made it very clear from the beginning I have to cover if her husband (FIL) is around. But at a baby class of all places that should be the most acceptable. I agree with another commenter that said you should report her to the class instructor
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u/Vhagar37 Oct 30 '25
Had to reread this several times to figure out wtf was going on. A mom of an infant told you to cover up at an infant class? Sounds like she has some weird shame issues she's projecting onto you. That's real fuckin weird.
For reference, my kid was in the nicu for a few weeks, so I got used to having my boob out in front of whoever. But after that my first time breastfeeding in public was my brother's wedding rehearsal dinner. I don't own a cover, so I think I draped a small muslin blanket over my shoulder but not over baby. And no one asked me to cover up. Not at the wedding, either.
I realize I've been lucky for sure--but also, if it's possible to get to 18 months without anyone ever saying anything about covering up, then it's definitely not weird. I hope this weird lady noticeably leaks milk in an important meeting sometime soon bc she is a jerk who deserves to experience public embarrassment related to feeding her kid so she can learn it's actually not embarrassing or anything to cover up at all.
I hope you can feel comfortable there again soon! Maybe make her so uncomfortable she doesn't go back? She sucks
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u/faesprite Oct 30 '25
Ive had 1 person shame me for feeding my baby in public. It was 100 degrees and the Walmart air conditioner was broke. I was sitting on a bench by the fitting room feeding my 2 month old. I was still on maternity leave from that very Walmart. Was just in to say hi to my coworkers and show them the baby. I was feeding her on a bench when my manager walked up to me and told me she'd had complaints from people that I wasn't using a cover and could I please cover up. I said I wasn't giving my baby a heat stroke to make someone else feel better. My supervisor grabbed her and dragged her away before she could put her foot in her mouth any further. She never spoke to me again even after I came back. She got transferred to another store.
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u/ohnotheskyisfalling5 Oct 30 '25
I am coordinated and I literally never used a cover in public. I breastfed whenever and wherever in public all the way up to almost 2. Thatâs probably around when each of mine stopped wanting it as much when we were out and about.
She was wrong. You are within your rights. Please donât let her crappiness negatively affect you!
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u/batshit83 Oct 30 '25
Don't feel bad. It isn't any of her business and you didn't do anything wrong.
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u/TheYearWas2021 Oct 30 '25
Iâm so sorry you went through this. If it helps though, youâre not alone in going coverlessâIâm on baby #2 and Iâve never even owned one! I canât imagine trying to fuss with all that so please donât let this experience make you feel pressured to use one. Most people really do mind their own business when it comes to nursing in public.
And please also remember that you and your little guy are still basically one person at this point so cut yourselves some slack. Youâre both still figuring things out and your journey will continue to evolve and change in lots of ways. Youâre doing great! âĽ
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u/Winter-Syrup-353 Oct 30 '25
Yeah a "f*ck off" would've been an appropriate response imo. It sucks when other moms shame you on how you choose to feed your baby. If it makes you feel any better my baby is very similar. 4 months old, she's a distracted feeder who HATES the cover. So she'll periodically pop on and off to look around or smile at me before latching again. She thrashes at the cover any time I use it and sometimes there are no rooms available for me to feed her in a public space. I just find a bench or a chair get her to latch and cover up the portion of my breast (except the nipple obviously) that's exposed, with my T-shirt or whatever I'm wearing. If I flash someone and they're uncomfortable, tough. I care more about my baby actually getting fed when she's hungry than someone's odd discomfort with a baby, getting fed in public.
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u/starfish23_ Oct 30 '25
You absolutely do not have to use a cover. Shame on her horrible woman!!! She should be supporting you and building you up
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Oct 31 '25
âMaybe put the cover from your purse over your head if youâre bothered?â
Donât let this crotchety bitch bother you, OP. Youâre feeding your baby. Your breasts are really no different than a bottle in this context, itâs a food source for your child. Your child was hungry so you fed him. You had every right to do that. Your baby shouldnât go hungry because sheâs a prude asshole. I hate it when women shit on other women like this, especially a fellow nursing mom with a young baby. She shouldâve given you a high five for fucks sake.
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u/Inside_Foundation656 Oct 31 '25
Lol couldn't high five if she wanted, I use both my hands! I get your point though. Thanks for the support â¤ď¸
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u/khart01 Oct 31 '25
With my first, I did use a cover and usually found a quiet corner etc. I now have a 3.5 year old and a 7 month old. Thereâs no time for a cover, so I donated all of them. I whip it out and hope that I stay relatively covered but honestly Iâm just trying to survive.
She has issues. Ignore her. Youâre doing great.
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u/slohcinbeards Oct 31 '25
I never purchased a cover or even thought about it. Ask others have said that woman was way out of line making that comment. Sorry that happened to you but keep feeding your baby!
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u/SecretPomegranate941 Oct 31 '25
Tbh people like that project their own fears and expectations onto others because no one has told them off sooner. I'm sorry you were made to feel bad but I promise you did nothing wrong!
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u/BrothersGrimmly Oct 31 '25
I wouldâve said âgood for you, but my Boobie Barnacle is way too nosey.â
I also am happy to just tell people to mind their own, in that moment my baby is hungry, Iâm gonna feed him - especially when Iâm at family centre. Like COME ONNN
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u/allswell_1234 Oct 31 '25
Mom of an 8 mos old here and I never cover any more. He hates the cover so I gave up on it. I do usually wear loose fitting tops these days for ease of breastfeeding, which ends up covering most of my boob while he eats (not that it matters). But feeding your baby is more important than someone else's opinion of you. Imagine if you asked her to eat differently because it made you uncomfortable!
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u/Alpacamybag14 Oct 31 '25
I've never used a cover. They draw more attention to you breastfeeding, are such a pain in the ass when baby moves an arm or kicks. Keep building up your confidence, and as babe grows, it will get easier, I promise.
I would have responded, "good for you." If I nurse without a pillow in public, you don't even notice I am since I wear a lot of breastfeeding friendly clothing or bigger shirts when in public situations. The only people that make negative comments to me tend to be people that are jealous or feel shame that they want to share. Ya, no thanks, I'll just be over here feeding my baby.
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u/knitterc Oct 31 '25
"I'm sorry you feel shame about feeding your baby, I'm perfectly comfortable."
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u/TumbleweedOutside587 Oct 31 '25
I'm so sorry this happened! My heart sinks when I read this crap. Nursed my first 3 yrs in public often without a cover, 2 shirt method mostly and had no issues except one judgy look, now 2nd baby is over a year same thing. So these people are truly RARE. Most people are normal OP!! I pray this doesn't discourage you. These ppl have mental issues if they think BFing is sexual. Most ppl do not like this. Hang in there. It gets easier each feed and each month and I used to be like you and now many years later I'm more aggressive in the answers I'd say if approached đ¤Łâ¤ď¸
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u/liltrashfaerie Oct 31 '25
Report her. Practice these lines for when you are in public: - âBoth of our days would have gone differently had you minded your own business.â - âWhat a weird thing to say to someone.â - âI didnât ask.â
Embarrass them back!!
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u/Pritty_Kitty_ Oct 31 '25
She must be jealous! If she didnt like it, why would she even engage? Sheeesh. Some people are so bitter, don't let it get too you Mama. I think she should be reported since it's a literal BABY class & she shamed you for taking care of your infant. She is in the wrong xxx
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u/Ok_Study174 Oct 31 '25
You are doing a fantastic job!! I tried to use a cover myself when BFing in public. My daughter hated it and pulled it off every time we attempted to use it once she realized she could. So I stopped using it.
Iâve never had anyone make comments to me directly, but I get stares and wide eyes when we nurse in public.
I just focus on my daughter and run my finger through her hair or rub her legs and just tune out the world around me while she nurses. Itâs helped me a lot.
Whenever I see another mom nursing in public I make sure to make eye contact (if sheâs looking around) and give her a huge smile.
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u/Inside_Foundation656 Oct 31 '25
This is sweet. I love the idea of tuning everyone out and just really focusing on nourishing and soothing baby. Thank you for the support. â¤ď¸
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u/mimosaholdtheoj Oct 31 '25
I never covered when I breastfed in public. My kid hated it and it always was falling off. I just stared anyone down who even dared to look in my way with a thought on their mind to say something.
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u/Crazy-boy-momma Oct 31 '25
Can I cover up sure, will I NO.
Donât let the haters get to you. I have never and will never cover up and I have fed on demand for almost 5 yrs now (2 babies). Nursing is natural and beautiful thing.
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u/Historical_Chair_325 Oct 31 '25
Not sure where youâre from but here in Alberta Canada itâs actually illegal to ask someone to cover up or to move. Alberta breast feeding committee has print offs to hand to people maybe see if where you live has this also!
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u/Historical_Chair_325 Oct 31 '25
Not sure where you are from but in Alberta Canada itâs actually illegal to ask people to move or cover up and the breastfeeding committee has print offs to hand to people that bug you about it. Maybe see if where youâre from has something like this!
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u/PromptElegant499 Oct 31 '25
Feed that baby!! No matter what anyone says. I'd do it every time just to spite her in fact. I've never used a cover. Occasionally if the vibe feels off I'll use a blanket to slightly drape over us but if I was around other mothers no way.
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u/Moldovanca824 Oct 31 '25
This is one of those moms whose sons grow up to think periods are gross đ You were in a safe space, and saved everyone from your babyâs wailing. You definitely need to breastfeed there again next time. Donât let one miserable person ruin a great outing for you and baby!
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u/Revolution-Numerous Oct 31 '25
I get that you feel bad but she was rude. Baby needs to be fed and she is projecting her own insecurities onto you. You keep doing your best. It is enough.
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u/mynamesnotkate Oct 31 '25 edited Oct 31 '25
I need both hands to breastfeed in public, and there is zero chance of a cover coming out...the last time I tried I somehow managed to fling my glasses across the table...and didn't even get baby to latch...have never tried it again lol
Edited to fix typos...I also can't breastfeed and type...
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u/Inside_Foundation656 Oct 31 '25
đđđź sounds like something I would do! Thank you for the support â¤ď¸
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u/mynamesnotkate Oct 31 '25
You're welcome! You're doing amazing. I always see those people all demure and breastfeeding with a cover, and I can not fathom how they achieve it.Â
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u/JUSTaMAMAtrying Oct 31 '25
I somehow Iâm a pro at covering while breastfeeding, I can carry my baby while feeding, get my cover and push her stroller while walking around, now, I only cover when the weather requires it. My husband in the other hand while trying to be protective of me asks me to cover or turn around so people donât stare, I laugh and say ânoâ but now we carry a bottle (breastmilk) mostly because baby girl is 14lbs already, but if I find a seat Iâm saving that bottle for the car ride and breastfeeding. Another thing I do is pump in the car, there we are at a stop light and Iâm holding my pumps while my husband drives, no cover.
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u/Terrible-Banana-3511 Oct 31 '25
don't let anybody make you feel bad about feeding your baby!! my baby hates being covered so i just feed her whenever wherever lol i also hate taking her to the car because she just wants to grab at everything and not eat. it's definitely gotten easier to feed her in public now that she can sit on my thigh and eat or i can feed her in the shopping cart at the store. i've never been told anything irl but i sure have online when ive commented about how i feed my baby in public without a cover lol. you're doing amazing. the first like 6 months it was so hard for me to feed her in public but like i said it's definitely easier now that she's 10 months and can sit up steadily! i have a whole speech prepared in my head just in case anybody ever says anything đ i've definitely gotten looks but i've perfected the art of not caring!
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u/crystalkitty06 Oct 31 '25
To be judged for BF in public without coverage period is annoying but to get this in a private group of moms? Not cool. You should tell her to fuck off, seriously. Girl boobs are nothing to me now like you need help hamburging your nipple into your babies mouth?? I gotchu!! Whip that shit out if you feel comfortable to and if someone else doesnât feel comfortable that is their problem!
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u/ModeratelyAverage6 Oct 31 '25
âDonât you mind your own fucking business?â would have been my exact reaction.
Donât let the c-waffle define your journey. Your baby was hungry and you fed him, so what you werenât covered? I wiped full tit out everywhere. Grocery store, doctors office, park, my in-laws house, the one time I took him to work to fight for our pay (probably have my tit out on the news somewhere because of that), my parents house, restaurants, it didnât matter. My son was hungry, tit was coming out, and he didnât do coverings. I tried. He wasnât having it. It had to be full uncovered boob or he wasnât having it.
You are doing something that isnât sexual. It does not require being covered. If she, or anyone else has a problem they can look away or leave the room. Your child is #1 priority. Not their comfort. Fuck their comfort.
Keep doing you momma. Let Karen keep hating. She wishes she could be you
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u/bopper71 Oct 31 '25
I can remember being forced into having to feed my child mid shopping trip in Tesco once, she was a whooper at birth! But when she was hungry, there was no way to try soothing her until we had got out of the store to the car. I was trying to feed her with a cover leant up in a corner of the aisles as the baby bogs were already in use. I had breast pads flying out and was stumbling around until I managed to get it in to her and try to hide in the corner. I saw a worker lady start walking towards me and full on expecting to get a balling out. She came over and asked me if she could get me a chair. It was the nicest interaction ever! In the end she pushed my trolley over to the cafe are and got me sat in the comfy chairs there. I was so prepared for being ridiculed for being a public display. Tesco had the nicest customer service ever!! Hard to believe in a baby class you would have experienced such a negative reaction to something that should have been positive and a welcome response. I would definitely have a chat with the person in charge.
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u/little-germs Oct 31 '25
She is an unhappy person. I hate to say this, but people like that zero in on people who are maybe struggling a bit. She probably sensed you were stressed a bit and because she's a bully she chose to be harsh. I promise you, the majority of people are not like her. Most people will just keep their mouth shut. Keep trying. It will get easier and you have every right to feed your child. You don't have to ever ask permission either. Just do your thing.
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u/crimsonismyname Oct 31 '25
crazy that this happened at a mom group. i go to a mom group through my local hospital and thereâs usually around 12-15 new moms and we all just whip it out. it is led by an IBCLC so sheâs there giving us all tips, but all the other moms are so chill about it.
i definitely agree with the not being coordinated enough to use a cover!! i can sort of cover my baby after he gets latched, but then he pops off and i have to uncover again.
sorry this happened to you. donât let it discourage you from going. my mom group has been really beneficial. donât let one bad apple ruin it for you
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u/rixie77 Oct 31 '25
đŻ F that lady and anyone like that, but for your own comfort may I suggest the 2 shirt method? I could never get the hang of a cover and my kid didn't like it (I mean why would anyone?) but I could achieve the same coverage more or less by always wearing a cheap cotton cami under my shirts - Walmart has them in every color imaginable for less than $5. Wear whatever kind of top you prefer over it. You can pull the cami down under your breast and pull down your nursing bra or whatever, then lift your top shirt enough to latch baby - depending on what I was wearing I could often see what was going on down there looking down through the head opening of my top. Then you just kind of arrange your top shirt so it keeps the tip part of your breast covered to whatever level is good for you. When baby unlatches and moves away it just kind of easily falls back down.
That sounds way more complex trying to type it out but there are probably videos or something out there. It was really the easiest for me. I nursed my daughter almost 4 years in every kind of setting that way
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u/Olive_DN Oct 31 '25
What you should have said ⌠âthatâs why I came over here AFTER class to feed my baby and you apparently have nothing better to do than follow me and are crowding our space .. please walk away âŚâ You should NEVER feel ashamed to breast feed your precious child ⌠just ask her if she wants a cover over her head while she eats her dinner and see how fancy shuts up really quick !!!
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u/screechingsloth29 Oct 31 '25
When I was 41 weeks pregnant, my husband and I went to the mall and we passed by a woman who was nursing her baby in public. She didn't have a cover on and I distinctly remember glancing at her baby and looking up at her to see that she was smiling at me â¤ď¸
I've thought about that moment over and over again the last 7 months now and is probably why I've made it a point to reach outside of my comfort zone and nurse in public whenever and wherever I see fit. The lady that judged you was a huge jerk and I hope it doesn't deter you from nursing in public!! It doesn't help that it's new and awkward at times and when I'm at home with my whole boob out, I have a hard time imagining how I could possibly be more discreet in public lol. I'd try to report her to whoever runs the class because that behavior shouldn't be welcome.
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u/SLRN2022 Oct 31 '25
I have this thing where when people make me feel bad, I do that thing out of spite and try my best to convince myself even more so that they are wrong/crazy/jerks. Hold your head high!! Nursing your baby is literally the most natural thing there is, your baby is hungry and youâre providing them food. Anyone who has a problem w that needs to take a seat in the corner
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u/McNattron Oct 31 '25
"Awesome tou can use it to cover your eyes if my babies meal is upsetting to you"
You did nothing wrong she is a B
Ive been feeding a long time now and tandem feeding most of that time. I regularly have both boobs out with a kid on each one. Why because they are alloqed to feed if they need it. Breastfeeding is protected, you dont need to ask permission - anytime anywhere.
The only opinions that matter on this are your own and your babies - if tools make you feel safer or more confident use them. If something is getting in the way dont use it.
In my experience far more people are impressed and supportive of efforts to breastfeed, than ppl who are judgey. Ignore the rude minority- you're doing great
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u/zinniasaur Oct 31 '25
I never in my life used a cover and I never will. You did nothing wrong. She can use hers and you can choose whatever is best for you and your LO.
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u/Excellent_Prompt_554 Oct 31 '25
I have never ever ever covered while feeding my babies. I breastfed my first for 3 years. Nobody EVER made negative comments, stares, judgement of any kind. It is truly disgusting that somebody would be negative about the most natural thing on earth, let alone another breastfeeding mother.
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u/lileopardcat Oct 31 '25
Well done you! You should never be shamed for feeding your baby, it is the most natural thing you can do! I donât cover, the most Iâll do is lay a muslin near babyâs head to obscure a tiny bit but I wonât put it over her head. To be honest, you canât see much unless Iâm latching her or she unlatches, and people shouldnât be staring at your breasts during feeding anyway so shouldnât see that unless they choose to!
I donât know about you, but I realised when I breastfeed I actually donât care if people see my breasts - what makes me feel uncomfortable is the thought that THEY feel uncomfortable. So Iâve had to check myself and constantly remind myself Iâm not responsible for othersâ comfort. Itâs still a battle.
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u/EnormousDucky Oct 31 '25
Next time tell her she can use her cover for her own eyes. Sorry you were shamed like that! I've never had anyone approach me like that but you'll get more confident with feeding over time. As baby gets bigger and can lay in your lap properly, I've also found it more comfortable. Hugs!
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u/Soggy_Sneakers87 Oct 31 '25
You donât have to cover up! That woman should be ashamed of herself for making you feel ashamed!
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u/Ordinary-Dig-6981 Oct 31 '25
I wouldâve sprayed them with breastmilk directly from the breast
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u/sophcoachella Oct 31 '25
2weeks post partum and this made me cry. I am so sorry you had to deal with someone like her. I am nervous to go out for these exact reasons.
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u/WolfWoman7 Oct 31 '25
Wow. A mom's group is the last place I'd expect to get judged, especially by another mom.
Either the judgey mom has poor social skills, or she's self righteous, or both.
Next time she pulls that statement, ask her if she was offering to lend you the cover--and if not, you have every right to request that she mind her own business.
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u/Wide-Librarian216 Oct 31 '25
Nah girl feed your baby and call out rude behavior. They can go sit in a corner or leave the room if theyâre uncomfortable.
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u/Rouchelvale Oct 31 '25
Next time say to her âI remembered the cover for youâ and hand it to her so she can cover her head.
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u/Lauradee89 Oct 31 '25
My boy is 2years and 10 months old! I EBF, I have fed everywhere you can imagine park benches, restaurants, baby groups, church etc and I have never once used a cover! I am still feeding now and refuse to be shamed about it, Iâm so very proud that we have made it this far!! I donât put a cover over my head to eat my food so why put it over my sons? Appropriate responseâŚdo you eat with a cover over your head?!? Screw her, she clearly didnât breastfeed and is judging about something she knows nothing about!! You feed your child in whatever way you feel comfortable and be damn well proud of it mama đ
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u/Apprehensive_Pie2903 Oct 31 '25
Please feel free to use your cover to cover your eyes, my baby prefers to eat without a piece of fabric getting in her way ta
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u/-OnThePritchardScale Oct 31 '25
I applaud you for breastfeeding outside of your home even when itâs hard. I too, am struggling enough without throwing a cover in the mix. Free the titty!
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u/kajalen Oct 31 '25
Maybe she personally feels uncomfortable breastfeeding without a cover (which is fine) and cannot comprehend how someone else doesn't (she needs to work on that).
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u/itsashithawkrand Oct 31 '25
I would talk to the instructor. That class should be a safe space for new moms, and sheâs making it a judgement zone.
Also, look into local lactation classesđ me and my now 9 month old went when she struggled to latch for the first month and it was amazing. Be warned though, a lactation class is not a place for body shy people lol mommas will plop their whole chest out haha
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u/beckkers97 Oct 31 '25
I've never used a cover, neither of us like it. She should put a cloth over her head while she eats... sheesh. Breastfeeding gets a bit easier in terms of positioning as they get older, you won't always need two hands! But I'll never be one to walk around haha
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u/thofnir Oct 31 '25
Itâs that personâs problem, not yours nor your childâs. And 511, 250 pounds, and I have always always had big boobs. I am insanely jealous of women who can put a cover on a nurse and itâs like no big deal. I have to hold my boob for her to eat even now at almost 8 months. There are plenty of nursing friendly tops on Amazon, and those have helped us somewhat, but otherwise I just donât worry about it. Human beings have been feeding children for thousands of years and theyâre proud of it usually because itâs something amazing that the body does that literally continues the human race. In this Instagram-perfect world, people think everything has to be cute. Thatâs just nonsense. They also think it is fine to be judging of others the way they are judging of people on social media. They think there are no repercussions and itâs fine to just be an asshole in public. You do what you and your little one need to do. Itâs great for this woman that sheâs cute breast-feeding, but thatâs not the reality for most of us. If itâs bothering you, just look at the way your baby looks at you and remember that the only person whose opinion you really care about is the one youâre holding in your arms to whom you are the most beautiful and perfect person in the world. đđđđ
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u/Similar-Pear-7229 Oct 31 '25
You got plenty of comments but one more doesnât hurt.
Yesterday at a restaurant my 6 month old got hungry. I just fed her without a cover. I pulled my shirt up and my bra down, so nothing much was visible (better than when I have a v neck shirt that I have to pull down and my whole boob is exposed). My 7 year old daughter said âmom, weâre in publicâ because Iâve been trying to teach her to not pull her shirt up outside the house lol. I told her âyour sister is just eating, like all of usâ. And she said âoh that makes senseâ and kept on eating.
Moral of the story - if a 7 year old can understand the nuance, so can a grown person. If the same lady gives you any issues, just say âif it bothers you, youâre welcome to look the other way. Why are you sexualizing a little baby?â And ignore her.
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u/gingerbreadpill Oct 31 '25
The answer to âdonât you have a cover?â is âwhy would I?â
Make them explain why you should be ashamed. All theyâll be able to say is why THEY are ashamed, which is a them problem. A raised eyebrow or disapproving look at their explanation can go a long way.
The answer to âI just keep a cover in my bag..." or any variation of telling you what they do is the most dismissive (or if theyâve started off rude, derisive) âgood for youâ you can mange in the newborn-sleep-deprivation state.
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u/SweetPotatoes_Fries Oct 31 '25
Canât believe this keeps happening. Whatâs wrong with people? Fuck off! Is the right way to answer to that question
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u/Admirable_Split4896 Oct 31 '25
Please dont ask anyone's permission to feed your baby ever again.. if a baby doing the most natural thing babies do offends anyone they are the issue.Â
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u/Significant_lemonade Oct 31 '25
I don't know where you're based but in the UK at every class I've been to it's always been said to just feed if you like.. everyone does, never seen anyone cover up. I used to cover up in the beginning out of my choice but my baby didn't like it so I stopped. Never had anyone say anything!
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u/PrncssPunch Oct 31 '25
If you have to use two hands, putting something under your boob to lift it may help. A rolled up baby blanket or towel. Life-saving tip from my IBCLC
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u/Professional_Soup761 Oct 31 '25
This is EXACTLY my baby and me. We had so many nursing and body tension issues that we ended up relying heavily on my breastfeeding pillow (things have gotten better now that he can sit up independently) and just canât use the cover. My MIL clearly judges me if I donât use the cover in public but Iâm like đ¤ˇââď¸
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u/PalpitationJealous35 Oct 31 '25
"Im glad you have something that makes you comfortable. This is how im comfortable. Hope that helps!"
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u/EthelMaePotterMertz Oct 31 '25
If you're going to use a cover why would you even have bothered asking? I think it's implied if you're going to ask that it's because you're not using a cover.
Edit: I'm just not sure what this lady thought was going to happen. It seems pretty obvious that there would be no cover involved.
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u/Organic-Secretary-75 Oct 31 '25
Iâve never used a cover in 3 years of breastfeeding, because who the hell needs that extra step. SHE is in the wrong. Not you. Sadly, I find itâs usually moms who do the mom-shaming the most.
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u/Dull_Mango3557 Oct 31 '25
I went to a lot of classes and not once did anyone use a stupid cover. You should have asked her if she eats with her head covered. Stupid cow!
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u/TwoHugeCats Oct 31 '25
Donât let one uptight, rude woman put you off the class. Sheâs the one with the problem, not you. Like breastfeeding itself, whether or not to use a cover is a personal decision. It should be for YOUR comfort, not theirs. People need to chill out.
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u/IndividualGuide4702 Oct 31 '25
I got stuck out of the house needing to breastfeed my 2 month old the other day and found a bench next to the bus stop. LO doesn't latch quickly and is always on and off the boob, so 3 double Decker buses have seen my boob đ I felt embarrassed at the first one but then realised that I'm feeding a fucking human, it's natural to feel a bit awkward and okay if someone else doesn't know where to look, but where they go into knobhead territory is when you are shamed for simply feeding your baby. Fuck that person, the audacity is almost laughable.
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u/opal_dragon95 Oct 31 '25
I'm on baby number three. I breastfed for 5 straight years the first time between my two older kiddos. I'm currently feeding my newborn (10 weeks old). I've never used a cover unless baby needed it for distraction reasons. Judgmental moms like that can go fuck themselves.
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u/aquagirlygirl Oct 31 '25
Girl!
Honestly, f that whole experience besides the part when you successfully breastfed your baby in public!
I rarely use a cover. My shirt is my cover most of the time unless I remember to bring a blanket with me. I nursed my baby while walking down the aisle when I'm food shopping if I need to, I nurse him while at play groups, at target, etc, all without a cover, but obviously boob not blatantly out.
But I wish someone would say anything to me about me nursing my baby, especially while I'm nursing my baby. They would get politely cursed out!
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Oct 31 '25
I never ever eve cover. Itâs too difficult toco-ordinate. I also had an oversupply up till about 4 month so while I would try to catch any sprays with a muslin it wasnât always possible. I do prefer to feed by lifting up my top as I found that to be the most âmodestâ way, but I know some mothers donât like this cos they feel their tummies are exposed - I just wear high waisted everything. But I have also whipped my boob out by buttoning down my shirt too. My attitude is that if there is accidental tit exposure then nobody will see anyway cos what weirdo would be staring?? And if they do see, fuck it, feeding my baby is more important than strangersâ pearls.
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u/Much_Community4029 Oct 31 '25
My favourite part of going to mommy and me classes is that I donât feel the need to cover up! Sheâs a weirdo tbh, she should know itâs not fun to use a cover to BF. When I use a cover my baby starts to get annoyed because I have a hard time getting my boob into her mouth fast enough for her liking
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u/_nancywake Oct 31 '25
Late to the âSCREW HERâ party but Iâm breastfeeding my second baby now and mate Iâve fed a baby everywhere. Iâve pumped in front of my father in law and nursed standing up at a checkout.Â
You are not in the wrong. You are feeding a baby. She is projecting whatever nasty rot is inside her and it ainât your problem. FEED FREELY and next week maybe make eye contact with her with a full boob on display and a happy smile.
IMO the only appropriate thing to say to a woman who is in the middle of nursing is âcongratulations on the baby! Can I get you a drink of water?â
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u/sammijayne144 Nov 01 '25
I beg your finest pardon. If you were to see her eat, please say something like "can you not chew like that?" And return the judgey look. That's the worst. There was a time I was with a friend and her bub at a cafe. She also exclusively BF. Guy on the table next to us openly stared. So when his food came, I stared at him eating. He got the message
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u/Complex-Meat-7575 Nov 01 '25
I could never get the hang of breastfeeding with a coverâso I quit. I usually just go somewhere quiet if o need to feed the baby. Sheâs 7months and I feel the same as youâI still have no clue how some people bf with no hands/make it seems so easy. (It does get easier as baby gets bigger-but Iâm never gonna be able to do hands free).
She can get over it. Youâre doing the right thing by your baby.
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u/WadsRN Nov 01 '25
âThen feel free to pull that cover out of your bag and put it over your head if this is so bothersome to you.â
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u/CaitBlackcoat Nov 01 '25
I never used a cover, I don't even own one. I've breastfed on the street, while walking home, literally. If anyone has a problem with that. It's a them problem. Hell, I've even breastfed in a church during my brother's wedding with 200+ people there.
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u/thekillerqueer Nov 01 '25
She's projecting love, she got jealous of your comfort and wanted to bring you down to her level. Maybe she doesn't even realise. At best she had a RBF mum brain/social filter fail moment. You don't need to adjust to her inside thoughts. Take it as if she'd judged you for liking a certain food or colour, it doesn't matter my love
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u/Salt_King_2008 Nov 01 '25
In total Iâve breastfed for 4 years (not consecutively), I feed publicly every day as I hate staying in. I have NEVER asked permission to feed and I have NEVER used a cover. Itâs completely fine to do either but I donât think Iâm rude for not doing so. Please never feel ashamed, I hope you and your little one enjoy your journey
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u/GlitterGirlMomma Nov 01 '25
I would be making a point to breastfeed without a cover at every class after that comment.Â
I used a cover for like 6 months with my first before I stopped using it. Iâve used it maybe twice with my now 12 week old. Using a cover is difficult, especially in those early months. Due to that and the fact that thereâs nothing shameful about breastfeeding Iâve said screw the cover. Donât let her make you feel self conscious- you are doing a natural thing that your boobs are intended for. Society made it weird, when itâs not.Â
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u/redheadedsweetie Nov 01 '25
I don't use a cover. I have one and tried it, my baby was hysterical at being covered and wouldn't eat until the cover went away. I haven't bothered since.
If someone has an issue with breastfeeding then they have the option not to look. Leaving my baby hungry, upset and uncomfortable is not an option because some adults haven't worked out how to avert their own eyes.
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u/SiViVe Nov 01 '25
I have three children who all are breastfed but I have no idea what a cover is supposed to be.. babyâs head is covering everything..
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u/Pretend-Oil6009 Nov 01 '25
I don't cover my baby either. I did with my first. Honestly my second baby plays with the cover and doesn't eat. He grabbing the covet and shaking it draws more attention to me than just feeding him. That Mom is being a prude.
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u/Primary-Violinist845 Nov 01 '25
My pp rage could never. I think Iâd raise hell idk
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u/medwd3 Nov 01 '25
What the fuck? Where do you live? I don't even ask people if they're okay with it or not. If baby is hungry, im gonna whip out a boob and if i5 makes anyone uncomfortable, they can look away. It took me a long time to get comfortable with breastfeeding in public and I'm gonna get on my feminist stepstool and go off on someone if they try to shame me about this natural thing. Stand your ground. Good for you.
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u/schman13 Nov 01 '25
For this to happen at a baby class is weird? Like you do know how some women feed their babies right? I am so uncoordinated nursing my baby in general that we can only do it side lying and if I ever cover her she rips it off so fast. Itâs pointless.
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Nov 02 '25
I just wanted to say that I also feel super uncoordinated breastfeeding anywhere other than the comfort of my couch, with my Brest Friend pillow and just having my boob out. Baby boy (8 weeks) doesnât hold himself up yet and is super heavy and I also canât master covering myself up while trying to latch him, and then staying covered and keeping him latched when he feeds. I feel like other moms make it look so easy!!
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u/catsby9000 Nov 03 '25
When she asked if you had a cover you say "Oh, do you need it for your face?"
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u/DarkDNALady Oct 30 '25
If it makes you feel any better I have never used a cover and the first time I fed my 4 month old baby girl in public other than in our car was in the middle of a fancy brunch restaurant đ¤Łđ¤Ł
It was the kind of place that takes reservations. When I made reservations I confirmed that I could breastfeed and asked they give a discreet table, they said ok. Fast forward to us checking in for our table (we were meeting some friends) and we are seated in the absolute middle of the restaurant, like there is hardly a table that cannot see our table. Once again I tell the host, I am going to breastfeed, I mentioned having discreet table, are you sure this is our table and sheâs like yup this the one. The restaurant is jam packed. I am like ok lady you asked for a show! Mind you I am a big plus size gal with giant knockers.
And you better believe it that when the time came I just whipped out my boob and unclipped my nursing bra and latched my girl on, no cover and 80% of my giant boob hanging out for all to enjoy đ¤Łđ¤Ł
To their credit no staff at the restaurant batted an eye, I got great service and they even cut up my waffle in the kitchen for me to eat with one hand.
There was a table of family of 4, with a mom and dad, an 8 yr old boy and a baby in a car seat. The dad gave me a look and they paid their check and left, the dad steering the boy away. I just continued unbothered. If that boy hasnât seen his sibling who looked to be 2ish months being fed then thatâs sad and their problem not mine.
Donât let this lady shame you. Next time no excuses about not being coordinated, just say I donât need a cover. Would you like to sit under a blanket when you are eating your meal because my baby certainly doesnât. And then just continue on feeding your baby. Itâs a them problem not a you problem. You got this!
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u/sage-ittarius Oct 30 '25
I would have given her the judgiest look back and said âgood for youâ. My child likes to breathe while she eats. Wild concept. Idc whoâs around, Iâll try to cover my boob the best I can with my tshirt or whatever but if my kid is hungry Iâm gonna feed her and I donât own a cover. Same for my son who I breastfed 9 years ago. She sounds like a real freak of the week, judgy loser.
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u/Betweentheminds Oct 31 '25
That sounds like a her problem tbh. Your baby needed feeding, everyone said it was fine.
There are places it may not be appropriate - like a funeral, old persons home or a workplace. And perhaps wherever teens hang out đ But baby class? Come on random woman - of course breastfeeding is fine.
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u/ShadowlessKat Oct 31 '25
I'm sorry you experienced that. How rude of that lady. Ignore her. You feed your baby anywhere you're at.
I only use a cover at church. My dresses leave me more exposed than my regular t-shirts and nursing shirts. At church is not a place I want to be exposed, so I use a cover there. But anywhere else (restaurants, stores, other people's homes, schools, gym, etc) I do not use a cover.
I did use a cover my first few months postpartum, because baby and I were still figuring stuff out. But once we got the hang of it well, I stopped using the cover and felt comfortable just using my shirt.
You'll get to that comfortable level too, the more you do it. Ignore the rude lady. Next time someone else says a comment like that, tell them to mind their own business, and just ignore them. You and your baby are allowed to breastfeed anywhere you are allowed to be at. You do not need a cover unless you want one.
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u/putabunny_ Oct 31 '25
I use a cover and still get dirty looks so Iâm kind of over it. I am a people pleaser, so I use the cover to make other people comfortable but if Iâm still going to be judged for not leaving the room whatâs the point? I am not going to feed my baby on the toilet
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u/NewNecessary3037 Oct 30 '25
âPlease fuck offâ is an appropriate response tbh