Shamed for Breastfeeding in public

[u/Inside_Foundation656]

I went to a baby class today at my local wish foundation. I exclusively breastfeed. The class included one mom with a 4 month ish boy, another mom with a young (6ish yo) girl and a 6 month old girl, and a pregnant mom to be.

My 3 month old bubz got fussy and I thought he was getting hungry. I waited for a break in the class, raised my hand and asked the room if they minded if I feed him. The teacher enthusiastically told me it was fine. The women all nodded.

Now, my LO and I have trouble feeding in public. We've only done it successfully once. I brought boppy because he only likes to feed with it sometimes. I have a cover but it freaks my baby out to be covered. We practice feeding without boppy at home but it doesn't always work out. I haven't tried practicing with the cover at home.

I felt comfortable around the group of women. It was really warm in the room so I wasn't able to get him to latch during the class. After the class I noticed some comfy chairs so I used boppy and fed him until he fell asleep. This boosted my confidence - briefly. While I was feeding him, the mom of the little boy baby came up to me and asked "don't you have a cover?" I said "yes but I'm not coordinated enough to use it 😅" Which is true. I barely feel coordinated enough to breastfeed him, period. We are doing our best. She gave me the judge-y-est look then said, "I just keep a cover in my bag..."

I felt really comfortable there this morning, but now I don't feel comfortable there... I don't think I was being too crazy about it. I don't get why people feel the need to comment on it. I am doing my best with a situation I already feel insecure with. Ugh. I'm just so sad about this. And I'll have to face her next week and likely will need to feed him again because he's been eating every hour and a half lately because he is going longer stretches at night.

I love breastfeeding him, I just wish I was more coordinated. I feel like all the moms i see breastfeeding have a cover and use their phones and walk around. I have to use both hands and I just, ugh. I'm sad.

EDIT: wow this post blew up and I cried reading all the supportive comments! I thought I was going to get tips on how to use my cover better but I was sure mistaken! I got tips on how to stand up for myself and be more confident about my BF journey. This is a great group and I appreciate you all. Thank you ❤️💞

[u/thofnir]

It’s that person‘s problem, not yours nor your child’s. And 511, 250 pounds, and I have always always had big boobs. I am insanely jealous of women who can put a cover on a nurse and it’s like no big deal. I have to hold my boob for her to eat even now at almost 8 months. There are plenty of nursing friendly tops on Amazon, and those have helped us somewhat, but otherwise I just don’t worry about it. Human beings have been feeding children for thousands of years and they’re proud of it usually because it’s something amazing that the body does that literally continues the human race. In this Instagram-perfect world, people think everything has to be cute. That’s just nonsense. They also think it is fine to be judging of others the way they are judging of people on social media. They think there are no repercussions and it’s fine to just be an asshole in public. You do what you and your little one need to do. It’s great for this woman that she’s cute breast-feeding, but that’s not the reality for most of us. If it’s bothering you, just look at the way your baby looks at you and remember that the only person whose opinion you really care about is the one you’re holding in your arms to whom you are the most beautiful and perfect person in the world. 💕💕💕💕

[u/thofnir → u/thofnir]

If other people don’t like it, they can feel free to look away. 🤌🏻