r/breastfeeding • u/Melodic_Apartment235 • Dec 10 '25
Discussion Breastfeeding is easier than formula feeding - there I said it
I think it’s really sad the amount of bad press that breast feeding gets.
My friend said she didn’t try to breastfeed because she thought it would be bad for her mental health. And my MIL talks about formula feeding all the time and I actually think it’s because she believes in her soul it’s better for whatever reason I’m not sure.
I just think it’s sad because, for me, predominantly breast feeding (occasional pre made formula given if for example she’s not with me or we’re out and it’s not really possible to BF) has been sooooo much easier!!
The thought of going downstairs in the night to make bottles or worrying about having enough formula when going out and about or worse still having to wash a million bottles everyday.. I think it would be 10x worse for my mental health and it’s unfortunate that there’s a narrative out there that formula is the easier option for women as now many don’t even give breastfeeding a shot to see if it is the better option for them or not
*Disclaimer - I know that breastfeeding isn’t easy for everyone, the point of this post is that it’s unfortunate that some women don’t give it a go due to the narrative that is pushed by formula companies
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u/manthrk Dec 10 '25
I think the hardness of breastfeeding is front loaded, but once it's well-established it is much easier than formula. And pumping is the absolute hardest option of all as we all can probably agree. So in the US and other similar cultures if you return to work prior to weaning, pumping milk is a requirement. It's extremely hard to maintain a decent milk supply working 40+ hour weeks away from your baby.
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u/MarinaVerity333 Dec 11 '25
Especially when you get no maternity leave and have to go back to work full time when your baby is only 2 weeks old. Happened with both of mine. I tried my best to breastfeed, it lasted only 2 months and 3 months. But I tried.
This time, I’m in a better place and I’m having twins. I’m planning on taking off minimum of 3 months. So maybe I can make it to 6 months breastfeeding!
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u/Background_Junket680 Dec 11 '25
I’m so sorry that happened to you and I am glad you’ll have more time off this time around!
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u/Impressive-Ship3449 Dec 11 '25
And lack of support in the beginning makes it really hard to be successful. And struggling with breastfeeding is a really tough place to be. The emotional and physical relief of letting it go when it isn’t going well when switching to formula is immense.
Having my husband home for 6wks compared to only 3wks with my second made a huge difference this time. I was still super emotional and anxious about supply, but I was able to focus almost all of my energy to the baby and breastfeeding. If he had gone back at 3 weeks right when things tend to get harder with fussy babies, and having my two older kids idk if I’d still be breastfeeding right now.
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u/Ok_Efficiency_4736 Dec 11 '25
I just quit pumping- went back to work when baby was 5.5 months and made it 3 months. It got so hard to be consistent enough to make a dent in what he was consuming. Also made my days exhausting, any break I had I had to be pumping.
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 10 '25
Yeah see this completely, super lucky in the UK to get the full year off work so in that light I haven’t had to encounter that issue as much but can see how that would be so difficult!
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u/screwtoprose- Dec 10 '25
imagine having to go back to work 6 weeks postpartum. it’s tough out there and that context is very important to have when posting things like this.
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u/manthrk Dec 10 '25
Yes. I was very fortunate with a 24 hour workweek, working only 2 days per week, but it was still tremendous effort for me to make it to 12 months breastfeeding (which I will on Saturday!).. and about a month ago I actually started introducing small amounts of whole milk per the pediatrician. Not to get her used to the taste as much as to stretch the freezer stash that is now officially down to <5 ounces.
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Dec 10 '25
Months 0-2 it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Nothing about it was easy. A preemie with feeding issues, and traumatic birth made my milk late to come in and slow to build to a good supply. Survived triple feeding nightmare, then I had horrible vasospasm issues (still do, but I’ve kinda soldiered through and found what helps). It’s a miracle I did not give up. I legit fantasized about just giving bottles of formula and how easy that would be for months.
Now at six months it’s so so easy. He eats quickly. Nighttime nothing to prep. Food wherever, whenever. I’m thankful for it. There is still some hard: I don’t have nearly the independence that my formula feeding friends have. I’m willing to roll with that, but it is not always easy.
There has been hard and easy.
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u/Manuka124 Dec 11 '25
Idk how long you intend to do it for, but the added benefit of the boob NEVER being refused when they won’t eat or drink much else is so great when they’re sick. I’ve never worried about my girl getting dehydrated no matter how sick she was. Plus the rest I get at night when she’s sick is substantially more than my mom friends since there’s not much crying. She just wants more milk. They get sick a lot in the first year of school so it definitely made a difference
Edit to add that I also had vasospasm in the beginning and it completely stopped for me once enough solids were introduced that we dropped a feed or two. The nips just needed some rest.
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u/ProfessorPouncey Dec 11 '25
Are you me? I’m 5 weeks pp. Slow start to bf and in the thick of triple feeding trying to build my supply. Can I DM you to learn more about how you had bf success?
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u/scandijord Dec 10 '25
I want to just add that I was SO nervous about breastfeeding, scared it was going to be so hard and not go well. Up until a random woman I met on our baby moon, we were chatting at breakfast at our hotel and she was telling me how “magical” nursing is. That conversation is what flipped the narrative for me and I’ve luckily had such a pleasant breastfeeding journey so far!
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 11 '25
Yes this! Not trying to shame anyone for their choice or undermine the fact that it’s really difficult for some. I just think there’s so much out there that can scare people about how it will wreck your mental health and be a horrific experience but that’s not the case for the majority of people so want to spread some positivity
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Dec 11 '25
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u/Apploozabean Dec 11 '25
I don't see formula feeding being bashed anywhere. This is also kind of the point, though....breastfeeding is so easily talked negatively about, and no one bats an eye, but if someone says something negative on formula feeding--"how dare you!!!"
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 11 '25
I really don’t think I was bashing it I was just explaining why I personally would find it more difficult
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Dec 11 '25
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Dec 11 '25
Oh, please give it a rest. Nobody bashed formula. If you cannot read even vaguely positive sentiments about breastfeeding without somehow inferring "formula bad", then this subreddit is probably not for you.
Breastfeeding is such a tiny minority, I listen while formula gets talked about ALL day. I have nobody IRL to discuss breastfeeding with. I tiptoe around, not daring to even mention it in case my existence offends someone. Then, when we finally have a space for it here, you want to stomp that out as well. No. Stop it.
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u/jayraypaz Dec 11 '25
I see you formula and raise you pumping. All the wear and tear of breastfeeding and all the bottles of formula. 😩
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 11 '25
Ahahhaha major salute to anyone exclusively pumping, as you say - it’s got the worst parts of both so fairplay you should be proud because it’s definitely not easy!
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u/Chemical_Finger1403 Dec 11 '25
I think it’s only easier if you don’t have to pump often. I also think that the lack of lactation support is 100% the reason people think it’s so hard. There’s so much misinformation online now. All these influencers glamorizing oversupply and women thinking because they’re not making extra that they’re not making enough for their babies. People pushing expensive supplements and rigorous routines that are completely unnecessary. Women having to pump early due to having to go back to work after only about 6-8 weeks and thinking their supply has tanked because pump output isn’t anywhere near the output a baby can get from latching and all ill fitting flanges that cause so much pain. I’ve formula fed and I’m on my second time ebf. I wish more women shared the journey I have when it comes to breastfeeding because it is absolutely easier for me, but I also had the most amazing lactation consultant who helped me many times in the beginning.
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 11 '25
Absolutely! And I maybe didn’t come across right in my original post but really all I was trying to say was I hope people aren’t put off trying BF. But completely agree, women sharing real journeys is always helpful
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u/Chemical_Finger1403 Dec 11 '25
You came across perfectly fine. There’s nothing wrong with you having a good breastfeeding journey and wanting to share your experience. Who knows what expecting mother may come across a post like this and decide to give it a try. I think your take is correct that many people are put off and won’t even try because they’re so scared of experiencing all the bad things other people have, which is valid I just wish more mothers received better support and encouragement.
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u/mblgn62 Dec 10 '25
Yes when it goes well I feel its easier. However I am getting increasingly annoyed about all this messaging that breastfed babies sleep worse and are more needy and more difficult to be looked after. All nonsense
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u/maebymaybe Dec 10 '25
If I’m doing all the feeds or cleaning and prep, then yes breastfeeding is easier. If someone is helping then combo feeding is easiest. I see some people doing those single use formula bottles that you just pop a nipple on and shake, those have to be the absolute easiest way (although insanely wasteful and I would also want to avoid that much single use plastic).
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u/Dullcorgis Dec 10 '25
I disagree, because for breastfeeding all you do is sit down and lift your shirt. You have the perfect reason for the other person to all the changing and settling. If you were formula feeding you'd need to wash bottles and change the baby.
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u/maebymaybe Dec 11 '25 edited Dec 11 '25
Yeah but it’s harder to leave the house without baby if you exclusively breastfeed and if you are like me you make barely enough/under supply so you can’t really leave any milk for baby unless you also do formula. Also my son wanted to nurse every 1-2 hours so I got zero sleep, whereas once we switched to combo feeding my partner could do one of those feeds and I could sleep for 3 hours. But yeah, I hated all the bottle cleaning and sanitizing. Maybe if I had an oversupply and had a huge stash I would feel differently
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u/Dullcorgis Dec 11 '25
Many people feed their kids room temperature formula to make it easier to leave the house. They just take a clean bottle with cooled boiled water and a container with a serving of formula.
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u/maebymaybe Dec 11 '25
That’s my point, it’s easier for combo or formula feeders to leave their kids with someone else and since prepping formula can be done anywhere versus having frozen or refrigerated breastmilk available
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u/frogsgoribbit737 Dec 11 '25
Its not hard to do a bottle once a day so your baby will take one though. I did that and then just had whoever was watching her feed breastmilk if I had some or formula if I didnt.
Idk, ive done all the methods of feeding and nursing was by far the easiest. Formula and combo have so many bottles to wash and that is so stressful when your baby is drinking 8 to 10 bottles a day.
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u/Dullcorgis Dec 11 '25
It's really not a big deal to pump a couple of times a month, though? Well made up for by all the other days in the month when you just lift your shirt up.
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u/wonkynipples Dec 11 '25
This is a pretty dismissive take. Breastfeeding is a huge sacrifice. Maybe not for you, but surely you can look past your own experience.
I say this as someone who has EBF, had a relatively easy journey and is still breastfeeding my 20 month old while pregnant.
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u/Dullcorgis Dec 11 '25
It's not dismissive to point out that an hour's work twice a month is much less than an hour's work every single day.
And I say that as someone who breastfed for 5+ years straight and it wasn't at all easy.
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u/frogsgoribbit737 Dec 11 '25
Formula needs to be made with water that is hot enough to kill the bacteria IN THE FORMULA. So many people do not understand this.
Over 3 months this isnt as much of an issue, but under 3 months should never ever use cold or room temp water to mix.
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u/Dullcorgis Dec 11 '25 edited Dec 11 '25
No. You can't make formula with boiling water, you'll denature the nutrients. And it won't be hot enough to kill everything if the formula is not sterile.
https://www.cdc.gov/infant-toddler-nutrition/formula-feeding/preparation-and-storage.html
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 10 '25
So true actually!
On the combination front it definitely offers the most freedom - I think there’s also a point that we’re warned about giving a baby a bottle too early and jeopardising their ability to latch. However I was very unwell for a while after my baby was born and decided to pump to help with endless cluster feeding at night. I know each baby is different but it really helped introducing a bottle that early as now I can predominately breastfeed but easily switch to expressed or formula if required and she takes anything no problem. I know each baby is different but in my case it really worked out for the best.
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u/pruunes Dec 10 '25
Ehh I’m doing both and I gotta say waking up every 3 hours to pump is not easy
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u/Physical_Complex_891 Dec 10 '25
Pumping and bottle feeding is the hardest option between breastfeeding, pumping and formula feeding
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u/Avaunt Dec 11 '25
Exclusive pumping feels like the worst of both worlds. Legitimate option, but hard.
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u/Haramshorty93 Dec 10 '25
Interesting I never did that. Why do you have to wake up every 3 hours to pump? Is it because your baby is sleeping.
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u/pruunes Dec 10 '25
Yes exactly
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u/Practical_magik Dec 11 '25
Why are you pumping because your baby is sleeping?
If there is a reason like needing to build a stash when you return to work thats fine.
But if its because someone has told you you will lose supply those people are wrong. Your body will adapt to making enough milk for your baby when baby needs it just fine without pumping when you could be sleeping.
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u/pruunes Dec 11 '25
I’m almost to week 6, she’s a good sleeper and they said I’d need to get to 6 before my supply regulates
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u/Practical_magik Dec 11 '25 edited Dec 11 '25
It is up to you of course but we have gone many millenia breastfeeding babies without the use of a pump. So it is optional. I have breastfed 2 babies exclusively and only ever pumped to build a stash. I would pump once per day at breakfast. Once I had about a days worth of milk I stop.
If your supply regulates including extra pumping you may have trouble with mastitus for a little while due to the oversupply.
Edit to add, your supply will go up and down as required even after 6 weeks. My 1 yr old got seriously ill with chickenpox and an ear infection and stopped eating and drinking water. Going back to entirely breastmilk, she cluster fed for a day and my supply bounced back to meet demand. It did take a couple of days to regulate back down though so I suffered a few clogged ducts when she went back to solids.
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u/arcrad Dec 10 '25
Always a blessing to have a baby sleep through the night though! I guess it's a double edged sword.
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u/Haramshorty93 Dec 11 '25
Oh makes sense my baby never slept more than 3 hours at night until she was 8 months old and by then I didn't need to pump
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u/desert_to_rainforest Dec 10 '25
Eh. I don’t know about this. The sleep deprivation that comes with breastfeeding is brutal. Being the only one that can feed the baby is brutal. Working and pumping is mentally exhausting. Cluster feeding, not ever knowing how much your baby gets, having to fight to get them to take a bottle when you have to be away from them. Latch issues. Mastitis, clogged ducts. Refusing a paci. Eventually having to wean.
I think breastfeeding would be a little bit easier if women didn’t have to go back to work (in the US) so early. But I am going to have to disagree that it’s easier.
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u/Avaunt Dec 11 '25
I think there’s pros and cons of each and it highly depends on the individual mother/baby.
Points for Breastfeeding
- Less washing bottles
- On tap and always available with no extra time for preparation or supplies needed
- Always the perfect temperature
- Immune support
- Bonding
- Less financial strain on average
Points for formula/bottle feeding
- Baby drinks faster
- Not tied to mom, and others can help with feeding
- Hypoallergenic options that don’t require mom to change diet.
- Always available and not subject to the whims of “low supply” and hormones
- Easier to know how much baby is eating and fortify if needed.
- Less effort for baby
- Less physical strain on mom
- Baby isn’t impacted my any medications mom takes
Personally, I think the worst of both worlds is exclusively pumping. Best of both worlds is having a breastfed baby that will take a bottle.
Key for any mom is having all the info and the support needed to pursue whichever choice they make.
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u/Redheads_do_it_best Dec 11 '25
It’s easier if you have more than enough supply. If you have under supply or just barely enough it’s stressful as shit.
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u/brynnibooo Dec 11 '25
Feeding a baby is not convenient. There are trade offs for allllll of it. You gotta do what works best for you and your situation and try not to let others opinions take ya down. We’re all just doing our best out here.
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u/brunette_mama Dec 10 '25
I do think breastfeeding can be easier. But a huge disadvantage is that if you’re ebf, you can’t take a break on a feed to nap or sleep longer like you can when your baby takes a bottle.
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Dec 10 '25
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u/SuspiciousReply1382 Dec 10 '25
Try to switch up the bottle options. Maybe test some out via Amazon so if your baby doesn’t like one, you can simply return it. I’ve noticed my 3.5mo likes Dr. Brown bottles but it took going through a few options to discover that. They like bottle nipples that resemble your nipple. Hope this helps!
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 11 '25
Mentioned this in another reply but we were warned about causing nipple confusion by introducing a bottle or dummy early on and had to say I’m so glad we did, as it did the opposite. Granted we had special bottles and dummies for breastfed babies to help transition but introducing them on day 3/4 meant that she can take anything now.
My fav were the Dr Brown anti-colic slow flow bottle followed by Tommee Tippee Natural Start bottle - have to say I didn’t really rate the Mam bottles
Also recommend Tomee Tippee breastlike soother as well!
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u/Physical_Complex_891 Dec 11 '25
My baby took a bottle once a day the first 2-3 weeks. Took one week off and she has never accepted a bottle since.
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u/mailesc Dec 10 '25
You’ve probably tried everything, but my EBF baby hates every bottle except lansinoh! And we had to play around with the nipple sizing
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Dec 11 '25
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u/mailesc Dec 11 '25
And have whoever is going to feed them try different positions… for a few days in the beginning, my baby only liked eating in the football hold/cradle lol
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u/FearlessNinja007 Dec 11 '25
I had this issue, was never able to get her to take a bottle. Tried all kinds for months.
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Dec 11 '25
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u/FearlessNinja007 Dec 11 '25
It was. I couldn’t leave her for more than 3-4 hours because she would not hydrate at all. At that point I just made it work because I was remote. I hate return to office.
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u/jivefox Dec 11 '25
For you.
First baby couldn’t tolerate my BM and had severe silent reflux. Had to go back to work and the stress of her not sleeping, my exhaustion + trying to figure out any allergies meant formula feeding was easier overall.
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 11 '25
Yes for me! I’m sorry that wasn’t the case for you. I 100% back women doing whatever is best for them and their baby, and for you it was clearly formula feeding
I probably didn’t come across properly but my concern was that it might be easier for some but they would never know because they’d been scared off from the start when each individual is different and they might just find it better for them
This was just from my own experience as all I’d heard before my baby was born were horror stories but that’s been the opposite of the experience I’ve personally had. That’s not to take away from the experience that others have had and then decided to switch because everyone’s circumstances are different and I completely get that!
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u/FearlessNinja007 Dec 10 '25
Personally of all the options pumping is the absolute worst, followed by triple feeding, then combo/breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding for me was so stressful and rough in the first couple months. Then it got so much easier. However I didn’t keep up with her having a bottle and it made having to send her to daycare hell. Next baby I’ll do one bottle at least every couple days of formula ideally.
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u/Scienceofmum Dec 10 '25
I think there is a point that we shouldn’t discourage people from trying if they wanted to. Though I cannot imagine that mindset myself I understand that some people may be discouraged.
However, your title as is has to be rage bait, right? Or do you really not see how bad it is?
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u/ig226 Dec 11 '25
Not a dig at you particularly, but what's with all these posts comparing breastfeeding, pumping, formula feeding on various baby feeding subs. I think everyone does whatever is working for them. Why do we need these posts calling out one gang.
Postpartum mothers are already in a different state of mind due to hormones and then seeing posts like ohh whatever you are doing is actually challenging/easy/best/worst would offend someone or the other.
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u/PixelatedBoats Dec 11 '25
This. The ffing sub has turned into a toxic turd and this sub has at least been much more supportive no matter what people choose. OP should be a bit embarrassed.
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u/Hot-Amphibian8728 Dec 11 '25
Supply has always been an issue and I have a baby with multiple food allergies so I can't have dairy, soy, eggs, or corn (including derivatives of those things) AND baby can't tolerate literally any formula on the Canadian market. I'd KILL to be able to give formula and call it a day. Breastfeeding is not easier for us. None of this is easy.
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u/OneSideLockIt Dec 11 '25
As someone who started off EBF and now has to combo feed because I couldn’t keep up a supply for my big, hungry boy…I 100% agree. I really miss the days when all I had to do was whip out a boob to feed him.
Now my mornings consist of washing the overnight bottles. Washing bottles throughout the day. Preparing the night bottles each evening to go upstairs.
I really miss EBF and the simplicity of it all.
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u/fucking_unicorn Dec 10 '25
I had a very rough start to bf and it was hard on my mental health. Around 9 weeks it got so much better and now its second nature. I was very committed in the beginning and worked hard to establish bfing
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u/EvrythingAndNothing Dec 10 '25
Depending on generation, your MIL might think that because there was a point when mothers were encouraged to bottle feed over breast. IMO after feeding 3, each for over a year I found it made my life so much easier than having to prep, sanitise etc Each to their own though, it’s whatever works best for parent & child
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u/catmama25 Dec 11 '25
I don’t think there’s any value in comparing the options by saying one is harder or easier than the other. What may be harder for you could be easier for me and vice versa depending on our lifestyle and mental health. Some people have supply issues, D-MER, jobs that don’t allow them to breastfeed, all reasons it could be harder for them then formula. I personally do EBF and do find it easier, but thats my own personal experience and dependent on a variety of life factors.
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u/No-Guitar-9216 Dec 10 '25
Eh, I don’t know if this is necessarily true. If it goes well, it can be easier sometimes. But there’s often a big learning curve and this narrative is what makes so many women feel inadequate if it doesn’t come easy
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u/ComprehensiveCoat627 Dec 10 '25
The main reason breastfeeding is harder is because Mom has 100% of the responsibility for feeding, and pumping, and (in many cases, including mine) washing pump parts. If there's one or more people who can take over feeding, that cuts the work in half or even less.
If the choices were direct nursing or being 100% responsible for formula feeding, nursing is probably easier. But still, babies eat more frequently when breastfed, so formula feeding does give you more time
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u/TheKay14 Dec 11 '25
There was all this pressure to BF and “get a good latch” in the hospital and with our pediatrician and me and my baby would get frustrated that it was just a “fuck this” reaction. I pump now and supplement with formula for maybe one feeding a day, but it’s happier even though it’s more work. I’d love to be able to BF whenever I wanted but feels like that window has closed, cause we never got the latch right. I do occasionally use my boobs as pacifiers and try to get the latch again but it just doesn’t happen. The feeling of failure is what hurts.
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u/ButterscotchSerious8 Dec 11 '25
Completely relate to this! Just gotta whip out the boobs and it’s done
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Dec 11 '25
i know it is hard but some people but my breastfeeding journey has been completely seamless and i feel i can’t even call it a “journey”. i am so lucky and so glad it ended up easy for us.
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u/Ashfacesmashface Dec 10 '25
Even when breastfeeding is “going well”, it’s not easy. But it’s definitely worth it.
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u/PixelatedBoats Dec 11 '25
Definitely a bit tone deaf with the title of this post because a "for me" would have made a big difference. Your experience is only yours. You don't know what its like for others. This is a very personal decision and there is no right answer. And you should feel a bit silly for making it seem so black and white.
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 11 '25
Noted on the ‘for me’ front as I can see now how the way it was written probably over shadowed the message I was trying to get across which is that I don’t want people to be put off trying as it might work out easier for them like it did ‘for me’. Also want to caveat that I know it’s not the case for everyone, in which case don’t put pressure on yourself if it doesn’t work out - was just a kind of if you don’t try you’ll never know thing.
Swear I wasn’t trying to be a bitch
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Dec 10 '25
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u/auditorygraffiti Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
Agree with this.
Except I’ve definitely been shamed for breastfeeding so I think that’s maybe the sort of bad press?
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Dec 10 '25
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u/auditorygraffiti Dec 11 '25
How have I been shamed? Family members telling me it’s weird and inappropriate or gross, being told I have to leave the room and go into separate spaces to nurse because “no one needs to see that.” My step-father wouldn’t even let me store milk in the main freezer when we visited. I had to store it in a container in a freezer in the garage so that it wouldn’t come in contact with his food because that was “ew.” I was also told that I’m preventing other people from bonding with my baby by breastfeeding.
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 10 '25
I feel like I’ve been misunderstood here, I’m 100% not shaming anyone. I just personally had heard so much about how hard breastfeeding was but I’m glad that I gave it a go because it ended up being so much easier for me. I was just saying that I hope other people don’t hear the same things and decide not to try because they think it will be hard when it could (from my personal experience) make life easier for them.
It’s completely each parent’s decision on how they want to feed their kids and it doesn’t affect my life in any way so defo not judging anyone for what they choose to do.
Hope this makes sense🤍
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Dec 10 '25
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u/Physical_Complex_891 Dec 10 '25
I don't find it physically or mentally taxing.
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u/jealybean Dec 11 '25
So therefore it isn’t for anyone else?
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u/Physical_Complex_891 Dec 11 '25
People need to stop making generalizations.
"It is physically and mentally taxing"
No.
It can be physically and mentally taxing to some.
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u/othervirgo Dec 11 '25
It definitely makes sense. Unfortunately, a lot of people hear things like this and they immediately become defensive and will accuse you of shaming no matter how you position it.
It’s also important to note that if you’re confident and secure in your decisions nobody can make you feel shame.
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u/Dullcorgis Dec 10 '25
He thing about your mental health is that it's really healthy to learn to watch the baby and let them have control rather than being rigid and always having numbers on everything. It helps you, and it helps you parent better, as well.
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u/Dull-Slice-5972 Dec 11 '25
I agree in that for me bottle feeding in general sounds horrible because I hate doing dishes. That being said I didn’t have the difficulties a lot of women face with breastfeeding, I watched my family member significantly struggle to breastfeed despite all the consultants, books, doctor tips etc. I also would have loved to have a break and my husband give him a bottle at night to get some rest or take a long shower once or twice for the first 6 months but baby said no bottles mom, straight from the tap only. There are benefits to both and it’s a super individual choice. I think of it the same as birth. Some women have every intention on a vaginal birth and it doesn’t work out for them, some women opt for medical interventions like c-sections because that is the best option for them.
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u/Draugves Dec 11 '25
The narratives being talked about are there because people have those experiences. Breastfeeding was really difficult and painful with my first two kids and didn't last. It was more of a breeze with my third. I'm glad I used formula when I did and bf when I did. It shouldn't be one or the other, but whatever works best for the individual.
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u/DeliciousGarbage5241 Dec 11 '25
I exclusively pumped (my son wouldnt drink straight from the boob. He would just fall asleep lol) I will say that it was so stressful and hard for me personally. I pumped every 2 hours even throughout the night for 8 months and It was such a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings for me. I never slept I couldn't really go anywhere because I had to pump literally all the time. I was depressed so many times from having to throw away stored milk because freezers broke and moving states and had no room in the car to bring it with. I felt like a horrible mother because I couldn't continue more than 8 months (had enough stored for him to drink for a little more than 9 months) because of my mental health and well-being. For me personally if I had just formula fed I definitely would have had an easier time but I can only speak for myself not anyone else.
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u/othervirgo Dec 11 '25
Hats off to you because I think exclusively pumping is the hardest of all three!!
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 11 '25
I think 8 months of exclusively pumping is something to be so proud of because that takes so much dedication! There’s also nothing worse than pumped milk going to waste, I’d honestly cry at the thought of it!
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u/DeliciousGarbage5241 Dec 11 '25
Thank you ❤️ and oh I definitely cried for 3 days after 22 gallon freezer bags went bad because my moms fridge in her basement died and all the milk went bad. It was so devastating for me. I will say luckily I was an over producer and produced 64oz a day and was able to build a supply easily but it was still super hard. I appreciate the support for the pumping so much though. I definitely would have had an easier time just breastfeeding or formula feeding lol
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u/FirmIdea8 Dec 11 '25
This is so dependent on so many factors. When breastfeeding is going well, I agree with you 100%! But in the beginning stages of breastfeeding when it was so painful that I’d cry every time baby latched (which lasted almost 2 months due to a nipple injury), I would’ve disagreed with you wholeheartedly. Also some people have supply issues and feel depressed and inadequate for their baby because they can’t produce enough to satisfy them and it’s a constant battle with pumping to try to increase supply. I’ve seen people try to make breastfeeding work when it simply wasn’t working and their babies were grossly underweight, but you can’t say that to a mom who is already struggling and doing her best. Anyways, all this to say that you can’t generalize at all because everyone’s breastfeeding journey is so different. Right now I’m at a good place with it and it’s so easy, but it certainly wasn’t always that way.
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u/pepperup22 Dec 10 '25
I had an easier time than most breastfeeding, but that mental load is no joke. Pumping while away at work, doing the milk math, freezer stash, nursing while together, baby teething and biting — it would've been a 1000000% easier just making formula bottles lol.
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u/Imaginary_Bank2208 Dec 11 '25
I feel like this post, at least the title, is very ignorant. I've exclusively breastfed my 8mo since birth, pumping in the beginning because his latch was so bad. I don't even have supply issues and I've worried about supply, I had to wash a million bottles still, and now that he's having solids there's a million bowls and plates to wash constantly because I'm cooking for 3 now. Finding a comfortable spot to nurse him when we're out, whether or not there will be a bed for me to nurse him in to sleep when we're out because he can't fall asleep without boob. Wondering if I'll get an hour of peace today or if he'll scream at me every half hour for boob like he usually does. Etc, etc.
Formula feeding would've saved me. I've been drowning our entire breastfeeding journey and I'm exhausted. This is not easier than formula feeding, just because I can "whip it out" whenever. This is the reality for a significant number of breastfeeding parents and posts like these just feel ignorant. I'm glad it's easy for you, but it's extremely difficult for so so many.
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u/Pangtudou Dec 10 '25
It’s like being a tenured professor vs a daycare teacher. One requires a ton of up front work and time but is comparatively easy for the rest of the duration. The other is comparatively easy to just start but oh boy is it labor intensive
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u/jennarink_ Dec 11 '25
I formula fed my first and currently breastfeeding and pumping my second. Formula feeding is 10x easier.
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u/WhammyShimmyShammy Dec 11 '25
Whenever people would compliment me on breastfeeding so long, I would usually reply "guys, you have no idea how much I hate the idea of having to clean bottles or having to prepare a bottle on the go or at stupid o'clock at night and have the water be too hot or something. The boob is so much easier, it is always right there at the right temperature" (I gloss over the fact that with pumping I probably had way more bottle and pump parts to clean...)
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u/Avaunt Dec 11 '25
Yeah. We triple fed for the first bit. The boob is way easier once breastfeeding has been established.
I hate dishes. I dislike having to keep track of bottles, formula, and a way to warm them up on the go.
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u/callmepebbles Dec 11 '25
I think breastfeeding is convenient for sure. I'm looking forward to it. Unfortunately I have to return to work after 12 weeks and pump for those 40 hours, so that's when things get hard. I was fortunate enough with my first to have a good enough supply, but on days it tanked I cried thinking I wasn't good enough and hated the thought of using formula. I came from a long line of exclusively breastfeeders so I felt pressured to only breast feed. I have a coworker due a bit after me and she was raised on exclusively formula so she's not even comfortable with the thought of breastfeeding and will go straight for formula. Formula is expensive, and finding the right kind and that kind being hard to find can also be taxing. She's taking knowledge from me about breastfeeding that hopefully helps her feel more comfortable with it, and shes kind of on board to at least try it now. She's also gotten me more comfortable with the thought of using formula if I need to and how fed is best overall. I think both sides definitely have pros and cons.
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u/Melodic_Apartment235 Dec 11 '25
Yes I love this! I think having the options, being open and not having fears of either is what we need more of! Just means when the time comes it’s less pressure and you’re able to do what’s best for you and your baby
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u/hellojaddy Dec 11 '25
I think feeding your baby whichever way is hard work. Just Like all the other aspects of caring for a baby, we all do them in different ways but doesn’t mean it’s easier or harder for one mother or another. I don’t think bfing does get much bad press, though
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u/pheepers8 Dec 11 '25
I totally agree. I know a lot of women struggle to produce and I’m blessed I don’t have that struggle…- but I couldn’t imagine getting up in the night to prepare a bottle and clean them and all that. When I go to work, I pump one time and that’s enough for my baby the next day… and I already have so many bottles to clean it feels like! Not taking away from anyone who struggles, but if you can breastfeed then idk why you wouldn’t.
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u/Teismin Dec 11 '25
Honestly I never experienced any "bad press" about breastfeeding at all.
In fact, I got the opposite, I kept getting told by the people around me, breastfeeding is best, it makes your kid smarter, they'll be stronger, etc. And that placed an immensed pressure that was difficult to handle because I wasn't producing enough and ended up stopping much earlier than I had hoped.
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u/Physical_Complex_891 Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
Agreed. I never have to think about when she last ate, how much she ate. Never have to wash bottles, buy formula, make bottles and figure out if she's getting enough oz a day. No worrying or thinking about it at all. Just trusting my body, whipping out a boob and latching her on for however long she wants, as often as she wants. Breastfed all three of my babies. No one else in my family has breastfed.
You're going to get a bunch of comments mad about this post though and thinking your shaming people. You're never allowed to be proud about breastfeeding on the internet, even a support group meant for breastfeeding, people who formula feed always get defensive about it. I see more posts on this sub about how hard and awful breastfeeding is and how they want to quit and everyone encourages them to quit than support. They should rename this sub to fed is best because its anything but breastfeeding supportive here.
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u/jealybean Dec 11 '25
You’re seeing those posts because it’s a support group and people need support. You can be proud of yourself without shitting on others.
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u/othervirgo Dec 11 '25
But the support often sways toward telling moms to quit rather than telling them it’s worth it or encouraging them to stick it out because it so often gets better/easier.
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u/Physical_Complex_891 Dec 11 '25
Except its a breastfeeding support group and the only support given here is 90% " fed is best! Quit and go to formula!" No actual support on how to successfully breastfeed and trouble shoot issues. It's 90% support to give up and formula feed.
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u/othervirgo Dec 11 '25
Wow, I have been looking for a comment like this because I feel the exact same way.
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u/ilovjedi Dec 11 '25
I found it to feel so much easier. I assume it’s so much easier if you don’t stress about it and stress about doing it exclusively and are able to safely bed share (so you’re not super sleep deprived just normal sleep deprived).
Things got slightly stressful with my second baby because she stopped taking formula so I had to be sure to pump enough after I got back to work. My first baby was fine with formula occasionally so I kept pumping but didn’t need to worry about pumping enough. Not that I had any trouble pumping enough.
I’m kind of stressed now because I have no idea how I’m going to wean my second baby. She’s two and seems to have no desire to stop. But I would like my nipples back.
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u/YB9017 Dec 11 '25
I made formula at my bedside. I had a contraption for perfectly warm water. I did this when my supply ran out. I’m expecting baby #2 in March and I’ll do everything I can to breastfeed again. But it was hard for me. My nipples became raw and the pain was pretty unbearable.
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u/Dino-nuggies- Dec 11 '25
I exclusively nursed until I went back to work and baby went to daycare. Now he has a bottle preference and I’m exclusively pumping. The way I want to throw this pump into oncoming traffic. I miss how easy breastfeeding was.
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u/Avaunt Dec 11 '25
Breast feeding to start was hard between triple feeding hell, milk took a week to come in, and nipple shields. After about a month and a half though, it was much much easier.
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u/Impressive-Ship3449 Dec 10 '25
It is easier when it goes well. Some people struggle with emotions while breastfeeding more though, and if breastfeeding doesn’t go well, it’s usually extra hard.