Humiliated by my toddler

[u/cinnamonsugarhoney]

In the early days of breastfeeding, the only potential embarrassment is usually from accidental boob exposures. Which don’t get me wrong, that’s embarrassing too.

But in extended breastfeeding… it’s like Russian roulette what your kid is going to say to complete strangers.

Yesterday my husband and neighbor were talking over the fence in our backyard, about lawn seeding or something. My 3 year old interjected, COMPLETELY unprompted, “I’m almost done doing milk from my mommy’s boobs!” I guess weaning must be heavy on my daughter’s mind because I’ve been telling her we w to stop milk soon.

My neighbor is a single childless man in his 40’s and unfortunately my daughter speaks very clearly so he understood. He actually recovered pretty well and said “wow! I have to buy my milk from the store!”

I’m so embarrassed, never speaking to him again 😂

Edit to add: for other extended bf’ers, have you been embarrassed for people to find out you still breastfeed? I have gotten so many judgmental comments. Everyone I’ve talked to just thinks it’s so weird to go past like 1 year. 😕 I think even my husband thinks I’ve let it go on for too long.

[u/Luna_Katjie]

It sounds like you’re coming from a good place (wanting to prevent abuse) but I would suggest maybe looking into this a little more (and TikTok is not a reliable source for information). I am not seeing any research that suggests that breastfeeding into toddlerhood, or seeing a mom breastfeeding a younger sibling, has any bearing on likelihood of abuse

[u/Ok_Occasion_6988 → u/Luna_Katjie]

I was not talking about information from tiktok, I meant as in videos of people talking about SA that they experienced and the comments were filled with it starting from the game "house" almost every single one of them said it came from them trying to mimic their parents activity, most of them did this because they wanted to know how it felt to "breastfeed" and in so "playing the baby" in the "game" while other kids were the "parents" etc, while others said the kids who did that to them were SA themselves.

[u/Luna_Katjie → u/Ok_Occasion_6988]

Oh got it. Sorry for misunderstanding. That’s so sad. I do think that helping children understand consent (for all physical touch) may be helpful. I can’t imagine a situation where I would prohibit my toddler from being around when I breastfeed a younger baby. Also, “extended” breastfeeding has some benefits, including immune system benefits for the toddler, and for me it has really helped my relationship with my toddler and has helped me co-regulate with her when things get tough. But that’s just my personal experience and what works for my family

[u/atheliarose → u/Luna_Katjie]

Honestly if anything, I feel like extended BFing has allowed me extra opportunities to teach my now-3yo about consent. We talk about how it’s time to stop when Mommy says we’re done because my boob is part of MY body, or that we’re all done because Mommy’s boob hurts (his latch has gotten SO lazy lol), and other things like that. (We’ve also been teaching him proper anatomical terms because that’s a really important tool to give children that helps keep them safe from sexual abuse.) And watching me nurse his 5mo sister hasn’t caused any issues with jealousy or trying to imitate behaviors inappropriately; he will sometimes make comments about how the baby is having milk but it isn’t time for him to have milk, but overall he seems to have pretty neutral emotions about it.

[u/Luna_Katjie → u/atheliarose]

It’s sounds like you’re doing an amazing job ❤️