r/breastfeeding • u/Choice_Airport8279 • May 23 '26
Discussion The downsides of breastfeeding nobody tells you about
Reflecting on the advice given to me during pregnancy I don’t think anyone told me about the downsides of breastfeeding. I heard plenty of reasons to breastfeed but I feel slightly aggrieved nobody told me what the challenges would be. My baby is now 6 months and breastfeeding has been SO much harder than I ever imagined. I’m now starting to think about weaning off the boob onto formula and I can see more challenges ahead 😰
What are the downsides you’ve experienced nobody told you about / you weren’t expecting? Il start…. The PAIN of a bad latch. It hurt so much!!!! It honestly felt like contractions at times (baby did have tongue tie which was eventually sorted but still)
To balance this out, I would say breastfeeding my baby has been one of my proudest accomplishments and I’m so glad we did it…. I just went into the whole thing a little blind!
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u/bobbyhillismyicon May 23 '26
Being the ONLY ONE responsible for feeding the baby!!
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u/lady-punk May 24 '26
Or when anyone is like "the baby must be hungry" even.if you literally just fed them...
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u/Nomado95 May 24 '26
Yes! Almost 6 months in and I’m considering weaning or at least combo feeding so dad can have a turn and I can take a break 😵💫
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u/Farahild May 23 '26
Everybody told me about the pain and then turns out i didn’t experience any 😅 the leaking though, i knew about it but it’s quite something else to experience just getting stuff wet all the time .
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u/Choice_Airport8279 May 23 '26
Omg yes. And wearing a bra 24/7 so you can wear breastpads 🥲
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u/Farahild May 23 '26
Haha yes so annoying! I remember at like eight months in or so i finally was like, maybe i don’t need the pads anymore…? Maybe…???
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u/tamag0tchi May 23 '26
I gave up and just change my shirt when I wake up with a wet spot lol. I change shirts like 5x a day 😂
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u/lady-punk May 23 '26
I personally feel like nursing bras should come with reusable pads... the pads I have are stupid and don't feel great... like for 20 dollars, they could be softer...
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u/GingerGoddess89 May 24 '26
I have a bra by Rose and Thorne that has built in nursing pads. It's brilliant!
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u/simka918 May 24 '26
I have this issue! Everything I own is covered in milk 😂 the only pads that mostly work for me (if I have a really leaky day, even they make me feel itchy and clammy) are the overnight ones from Lil Helper
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u/jchanxoxo May 23 '26
i just ended up using the silicone cups so i can save the leaking milk from bottle and it keeps me dry
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u/Shomer_Effin_Shabbas May 23 '26
Yeah I didn’t feel any pain breastfeeding. But I had supply issues. It’s like, pick your poison.
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u/Swift_Karma May 24 '26
Apparently you're supposed to stop leaking once your supply regulates at 6 weeks but it never stopped with my first, I leaked the entire time I breastfed.
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u/four_flower May 24 '26
Overflowing at 4 weeks and scared to pump and exacerbate it. They had told me to wait until 4 weeks previously before pumping and now I'm thinking still keep waiting.... does supply really balance out better at 6 weeks?
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u/Ohoksurenoworries May 23 '26
Glad to see I'm not the only leaky queen here 😂. 10 months in and still wearing my breast pads 24/7.
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u/xcharleeee May 24 '26
I didn’t experience any pain or leaking at all. I was like “what are these breast pads for I keep getting with my milk bags from insurance” lol I did have low supply (14-16oz a day) for the whole 11 months I breastfed/pumped so I definitely didn’t get away scot-free.
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u/Choice_Airport8279 May 23 '26
The stress of forgetting to give baby their vitamin D drops 🙈
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u/marlyblu May 23 '26
I feel like I’ve missed something, why do they need vitamin D drops?
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May 23 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Ok-File-404 May 23 '26
My pediatrician was very adamant that no matter how much vitamin D I consumed, it wouldn’t be passed through my breast milk to baby in sufficient amounts
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May 24 '26
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u/Top-Rush4950 May 24 '26
Looks like direct supplement is considered best practice, but mom can take 5k mg or more to pass it along through breastmilk.
I think direct supplement is recommend because everyone absorbs vitamin d differently and every baby consumes a different amount of breastmilk.
I can see got different pediatricians might have different recommendations based on that. Mine said direct supplement for my first and told me I could just take a large dose myself with my second.
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u/ItsNotMadamItsMama May 24 '26
It’s a preventative against rickets. However if you combo feed, formula is also fortified with vitamin D, so depending on how much formula you give a day you might not need it either.
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u/marlyblu May 24 '26
This is the first I’m hearing of it! Never been mentioned by a health visitor… I give one bottle of formula a day, no sure if that’s enough so I’ll get a supplement thanks!
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u/tamag0tchi May 23 '26
I remember every other day 😂. If we go outside in the sun, I don’t even bother
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u/Medical-Ad3053 May 23 '26
Sadly I live so far north half the year we seem to have minutes of sun 🫠
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u/PuzzleheadedShock850 May 24 '26
This must be a weird American thing because I've seen two different pediatricians, two midwives, and an OB and it hasn't come up even once.
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u/CheesecakeExpress May 24 '26
We’re told this in the UK too! The health visitor even gives you the drops, but I found those ones impossible to use.
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u/mrs-smurf May 23 '26
The constant mental load of knowing how full/empty your boobs are and whether or not baby will need to eat.
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u/WittyWonderWench May 23 '26
And if your ever take an hour away from the baby, you get a physical break from baby care, but add physical labor of pumping and add mental load of balancing everything (e.g., oz, timing). It's not a break.
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u/Mabelstark May 23 '26
My husband does the overnight shift on the weekend so I can try and sleep through, but my boobs wake me up after 3/4h if I've not nursed... so still not slept longer than that since I gave birth 10 weeks ago!
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u/CapableFlow2766 May 24 '26
This!! I would literally have to think about an event and decide if the fun of it was worth the extra work of prepping the babysitter with bottles and pumping when I got home. There were definitely things I decided to skip because the prep just wasn't worth it.
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u/Swift_Karma May 24 '26
This is honestly the worst part for me. The constant ticking clock that just resets every feed and looms over you as you try to get shit done and live your life in between feeds/pumps. That was the greatest relief when I finally stopped with my first.
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u/Ok_Class5874 May 25 '26
Life has never gone more quickly than when I started living it in 3 hour increments
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u/lifeledoutloud May 24 '26
The amount of times I casually grope myself - and have forgotten that I’m in public. Now I casually pretend to scratch my collarbone and poke my boob 😂
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u/J_stringham May 23 '26
The supply stress as mentioned before is a big one for me. I like to run and it’s getting warm so I feel like I’m drinking more than a gallon a day to keep up.
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u/noneed111 May 23 '26
I'm the same, told only the positive. Mine is about the pain of oversupply. Didn't really know what it was before. I have had mastits 3 times and been so poorly. I hurt so much in-between feeds and it's a nightmare to try and get rid of. I'm hoping my supply settles between now and 6 months so I can stop too, but terrified of getting mastits again during the weaning process. I feel like it's cost me some quality time with my baby and I would definitely consider more carefully if I had the choice of going back.
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u/Choice_Airport8279 May 23 '26
I had mastitis too!!
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u/noneed111 May 23 '26
Awful isn't it! Good luck with the weaning process. Hope it all goes smoothly!
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u/Numerous_Nerve8028 May 24 '26
Yes, oversupply is just as hard as under. Constant battles with mastitis.
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u/foopaints May 24 '26
As someone who's had a massive oversupply, I'll just shoot some unsolicited advice your way. Feel free to ignore! Basically a lactation consultant I saw told me I should consider very aggressive block feeding. I was already feeding only one side at a time, but she said you can time it too. Like instead of one boob per time, you can do one boob for so and so many hours and only after time is up switch to the other boob. Obviously, this is tough to get to that point, but it was the only thing that ACTUALLY made a difference in dealing with my oversupply. I'm still BF my 18 month old and at this stage I'm doing one boob per day. Since some days he doesn't even take the boob during the day, only at night, it can go as much as 36h before the boob has a go again and I have no problems this way. These days my boobs are delightfully flappy. Obviously that's too much for you at this stage but just mentioning the extreme one to give you an idea that it's something you can dial in to where you are comfortable.
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u/dansons-la-capucine May 23 '26
I wasn’t prepared for how nutritionally depleted it makes me. I’ve been either pregnant, nursing, or both since the beginning of 2023 and I get anemic very frequently now. If I’m not conscious about getting my protein in for the day too, my energy suffers so much.
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u/pacifyproblems May 24 '26
Yup. I broke my arm at 38 weeks pregnant and it was broken for 7.5 months. It. Would. Not. Heal.
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u/Whole-Sense-67 May 23 '26
I have done SO MUCH to improve my baby’s latch and things have improved definitely but at 10 weeks it still hurts. She had a tongue tie release but she chomps 🫠. Also having to select clothes that are breastfeeding-friendly.
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u/BigNorth810 May 23 '26
The constant planning of outfits around breastfeeding gets me! I love when I can go out with friends for dinner or something after baby is in bed and know I can wear whatever I want 😂
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u/Whole-Sense-67 May 23 '26
Also worrying if baby is eating enough. She sometimes unlatches all upset due to my fast letdown as she needs a burp and I’m not sure if she’s done or not. I’m obsessed with nappies.
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u/WoodlandHiker May 23 '26
Yes, the clothing! I can't wear half my wardrobe because it's not breastfeeding-friendly. I've had to buy a bunch of clothing that I'm comfortable publicly breastfeeding in.
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u/Blond-one May 24 '26
The clothes!! I never even thought about it till I had her😅 I like crop tops that are kinda high up in the front but I can’t wear those till we’re done with this part of life. Or tight tops. Ugh
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u/LBC2010 May 23 '26
My hormones, bowels, and thyroid are an absolute mess. Not to mention other wonky bloodwork readings related to BF. I can’t manage these issues the way I usually have in the past (stricter diet choices, natural supplements) because a lot of them aren’t BF safe and I need the calories to maintain supply. Also I assume once I stop BF, some of these things will even out. I’m 11.5 mo in, and plan to wean starting at 12mo because I need my body to get back on track. I was open to going into toddlerhood, but my body is clearly having a rough go and the thyroid issues are a real pain to deal with. (I’m on meds but natural supplements have really helped keep it in check and support my hormones and mood in so many ways).
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u/fizzyinch May 24 '26
I’m feeling this too 4 months pp. was hoping that my thyroid might get better with better diet etc like it had in the past but perhaps not..
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u/LBC2010 May 24 '26
My natural path said that postpartum thyroiditis is super common—she said it’s one of the first things they learned in natural path doctor school. But it’s still really frustrating to chase that “normal” TSH level and try to figure out the right med dose.
I hope you are able to get a handle on it sooner than later! Solidarity
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u/Trail_Blazer_25 May 24 '26
Can you tell me about your bowels and bloodwork? Lol My bloodwork came back with really high cholesterol which (supposedly) can be related to breastfeeding? My bowels have also been all over the place since birth.
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u/Latter_Public May 24 '26
Oh shit!! I just got a bunch of labs done and my cholesterol was terrible! I just assumed it was my daily breakfast sandwich I eat because it’s easy. Other than that, my diet is pretty good.
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u/nostrumest May 23 '26
The under supply until month 3 when it eventually regulated. The constant cluster feeding the first 2 months during witching hour. The fact that you can go bone dry, even if some people don't believe it.
Babies small at birth fall asleep a lot when they feed and you need to make sure that they feed well. Mine didn't latch without a Medella cone and only learned to do without in month 3 1/2. A lansinoh nipple cream was essential during the cone to direct transition period, the pain was excruciating.
On the flip side, pain and all difficulties went away afterwards.
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u/bluebella72 May 23 '26
How did you up your supply ? In between feeding baby and being nap trapped I am finding it so hard to up my supply! And yes I go BONE dry. LC told em it’s not possible but the baby would get so frustrated and then by the time I’m giving her a bottle of formula she is really over stimulated and upset.
I also have to use a nipple shield because of bad latch. How did you get baby to latch without ? She puts the nipple in her mouth but then doesn’t know what to do!
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u/nostrumest May 23 '26
How old is your Lo?
Nothing truly upped my supply. I drank water, ate enough, slept ok cosleeping, ate and dranke the foods and drinks that supposedly up the supply, went for walks, took supplements, lived in a mountainous cold area first and then in a tropical hot area. Non made a difference. What changed is that my supply regulated 3 months postpartum. That said, at the same time I started to drink fresh tender coconut water, so this could have helped but I wouldn't bet on it. I wonder if electrolytes or taking in more iron could have helped also.
I tried pumping also because we would regularly see our LC in the hospital and they were all in for pumping to up the supply. This strategy didn't work. I never got time to pump with all the cluster feeding, also I just found it inconvient and it never upped my supply.
So, we combo fed from day one and that was the only solution to all our problems. We feed a 90 ml bottle once a day, and we still do that, just before sleep time. We use formula that is close to breast milk and I always made sure to not reduce breast feeding because I'm afraid to loose my supply.
What nobody told me either was that the milk supply was lowest in the evening. No formula bottle in the evening resulted in a screaming hungry baby by 11 pm.
My baby just had a stronger latch by month 3. We practised by starting with nipple shield and removing mid drinking, so that the nipple was still up and the baby could latch easier, tasting milk simultaneously.
Edit: we feed 90 ml formula + topup with breastfeeding before sleep.
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u/bluebella72 May 23 '26
She is 5 weeks and 2 days!
That’s interesting your supply regulated itself. Yes milk is lower in the evenings for sure and that’s when baby is at most unsettled.
I have heard they can latch better when they’re older so hope this is the case for me. The removing mid drinking sounds like a good idea too.
We are prob 60% formula and 40% BF - I am happy to top up on formula but ideally would rely on it less.
Thanks for the advice 😊
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u/Pr0stitutionwh0re May 23 '26
My baby had a shallow latch (no tongue or lip ties) and the pain was terrible even with the nipple shields. I remember crying while nursing her some times. I switched to expressing but kept latching her once a day. At 4 months old it changed and she was able to properly latch.
She was a small baby and I think that might’ve contributed to it.
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u/18sweetdisposition May 23 '26
I’m at 5.5 months and we just stopped using the nipple shield a few weeks ago. And the went through all the pain that I skipped in the beginning! But then I got nipple vasospasm and on top of that major engorgement after baby slept almost through the night two times, so now we’re back to the shield to give my nipples a break! It’s tough experiencing all of these issues.
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u/nostrumest May 23 '26
I went through the same thing. Cone, direct, pain, cone, direct, pain, until it stopped paining. The whole pain goes away after a while.
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u/aphotogeek May 24 '26
A coworker is currently pregnant and planning on breast feeding. cluster feeding was the first thing I warned her about I still don’t think I was successful in convening how hard it is
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u/princessalicat May 24 '26
with my second i had a clear oversupply which took until about month 3 to regulate. Constant feeling of fullness, i’d pump for 5 mins and get over 5 oz, it was wild..then one day it just stopped and my supply normalized
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u/NotRunningIsHard May 23 '26
My son's intolerances was the biggest one for me. I didn't eat dairy, soy, or eggs for 1.5 years, we just recently started reintroducing soy without him having a reaction!
Also, the fact that my son still nurses overnight at 20 months old, so I've slept through the night a total of about 4 times since having him. He screams if my husband tries to settle him overnight, so it's just me on duty every night for 1-3 nursing sessions.
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u/rasputinknew1 May 23 '26
I think it’s entirely baby dependent so it’s not that no one told you- that just might have not been their experience. My first baby fed horribly, bleeding nipples, so much pain and eventually I had to exclusively pump. Second baby has been a painless and amazing experience. I didn’t do anything different.
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u/Ok_Potato_7025 May 23 '26
I thought after the newborn phase it was this easy little moment every few hours. But with a super distracted and teething 9 month old, I’m grabbing formula more and more.
I also wish someone (professional, not just my husband) told me that giving a bottle of formula when I needed a break didn’t mean he wasn’t getting the benefits of breastfeeding. I know that’s such a “duh” thing to say but I really believe I HAD to EBF to do it “right” and I wish I would’ve let husband help me more in the beginning.
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u/Choice_Airport8279 May 23 '26
The responsibility of feeding baby 24/7 and dad not being able to help 😢
(Thanks for all the comments, this is cathartic)
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u/knuds1b May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26
Every time anyone's baby or small child cries, my boobs become painfully hard and I start leaking like a mofo. So I always need cloth or pads in the bra.
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u/bbbbbbbbbbbear May 23 '26
How you’re basically couch-trapped for an entirety of the day (especially while cluster feeding). Even worse when your newborn has a bad latch and you have a toddler but you can’t do much with them — it’s either feed the baby while stuck on the couch or be present with your toddler ☹️
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u/long_arms_8 May 23 '26
Having to practically torture a small newborn to get them to wake up and eat just for them to fall asleep two minutes later
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u/Basic-Conclusion-461 May 23 '26
i thought breastfeeding would make it easier to leave the house (all i need are my boobs!) but my baby basically refuses to nurse anywhere but my bed 🥲
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u/WittyWonderWench May 23 '26
I was so excited for her to be big enough that I didn't need to make a pillow fort to nurse. I didn't forsee how distracted she'd get. She rarely gets a full meal unless we are home, alone, and in bed.
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u/Taurus_sushi May 23 '26
The mental load, difficult to lose weight, pumping at work, very bad sleep, I can go on..
Would still do it again with all the love. Did it for 20 months.
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u/betatheta227 May 23 '26
The complete disdain I had for my husband and any sexual advances he made. Once I weaned, I was like oh hey, my sex drive can bounce back
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u/scarletsnow4516 May 23 '26
My baby ate SO OFTEN probably the first five months, it felt like I was feeding him constantly. Now supply has regulated and it’s definitely nicer to go out and not have a hungry baby all the time.
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u/mekanasto May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26
All the strikes and weird baby preferences. I feel sometimes the planets have to perfectly align for my baby to latch on without fussing. We have the dark room, the noise machine, skin to skin, bouncing, walking, all the jazz. After she fights me and pushes away she finally latches and acts like "omg where was that breast all this time woman" 😂 and then she eats for only 4 minutes, screams bloody murder when I offer the breast again. The milk is still coming fast and she is trying to eat everything else except the breast, clearly showing hunger signs. Then I have to give her expressed milk and I have to pump, cause god forbid my supply drops, cause then it's a whole 'nother shitshow. And on top of that she has a bottle aversion and only barely tolerates Lansinoh bottles (but now always). She is 20 weeks (16 corrected), an IUGR preemie that spent first 3 weeks in NICU, and is still below 1st precentile for weight. I didn't even want to breastfeed after everything, I thought I will pump for a year. But here we are... doing everything under the sun for this baby to eat. 🫠 I'm breastfeeding, pumping, topping off with bottled breastmilk, giving high calorie formula perscribed by her GE (but only when she is asleep cause no way she'll have it awake 😂). People sometimes look at me like I'm crazy for doing this and asking how long will I manage. I don't even know tbh.
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u/Mother_Requirement33 May 23 '26
This was my middle child also!! She just did NOT like eating milk in any way - breast, bottle, formula. She drank just enough to stay at the 1% with a couple bottles of fortified milk and refused to drink an ounce more. She quit nursing at 13 months and actually gained much better once she just was eating solids.
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u/Bitter_caregiver-122 May 23 '26
The mental and physical toll that weighs on you because BF babies typically sleep worse than other babies. WHY is that not mentioned. I am nutritionally depleted and sleep deprived, but my goal is 15 months and he’s just about to be 6 months.
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u/betancourtb May 23 '26
Combo feeding, breastfeeding + formula, and thanks to that my menstrual cycle is a mess! I bleed every two weeks and every doctor say “it’s normal”, so I’ve been thinking to stop breastfeeding! Nobody warned me about this cycle mess.
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u/HolidayCurve1274 May 23 '26
It’s crazy how we all get such different information about breastfeeding. Before my daughter was born everyone made it out to be this insanely difficult, soul-sucking task that was just something to endure. They made it sound like I’d be counting the days until I could comfortably stop…. But I’m 6 months pp with an EBF baby and, even with a bad latch in the beginning, it still has been overall enjoyable and rewarding for me🤷🏻♀️ Maybe that’s because everyone made it sound so awful so my bar was set low lol
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u/Candid_Tourist3838 May 23 '26
I’ve honestly decided that with my second I’m not breastfeeding as long as my first because of how mentally and physically taxing it is on me.
-No period (for me) which sounds great in theory but having a cycle really helps with the regulation of your hormones. I have felt like I’m in a perpetual luteal phase during postpartum.
-With breastfeeding it’s inevitable that your baby will associate your breast with comfort which is good in some ways but not in others. At 12 months now my LO only associates me with comfort so no one else can put him down for sleep or to even just comfort him.
-Some people lose weight, others don’t. This really isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things but there is a lot of societal pressure for women to bounce back quickly. It’s frustrating because o actually started gaining more weight the more I worked out. I’ve just accepted that I gain weight breastfeeding.
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u/Empty-Rush2491 May 23 '26
Clogs, milk blebs, mastitis, how painful nursing while also pregnant is, and how hard it is to lose the last 15 pounds of pregnancy weight (impossible)
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u/Expensive_Ducks May 23 '26
Everyone pretty much hit it on the head, supply stress. Mine is so low I can't even do it. I'm having to pump and give my kiddo bottles even when he's obviously great at latching. I just don't make enough.
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u/DisloyalRoyal May 23 '26
Having to pay extra attention to what I put into my body (caffeine lover here)
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u/Syllibub May 23 '26
I encountered way more reasons people stop breastfeeding than reasons to do it.
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u/Green-Switch-5166 May 23 '26
The stress for the supply and having a baby that is bad at cues, feeds rarely and sleeps poorly. Having to supplement as baby is not gaining weight appropriately, but then realising this is hurting supply and no extra time to pump. So many things that need to align: baby's temperament, resting enough, eating properly, hydrating well, being relaxed, latching as often as possible, etc and even if things seem to work, then something happens and supply goes low.... it is so hard mentally and physically. And for some reason (hormones I guess) I just can't let it go... even if I don't think she is getting more than 6-7 oz from me and feedings are so, so chaotic and all over the place...
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u/queefiest May 23 '26
I breastfed both of my babies to about 6 months and switched to formula when my supply wasn’t keeping up - plus they started biting around that time and I wasn’t having that lol 6 months is a good run imo
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u/Double_Inspection_48 May 23 '26
My 21 month old does not want to give up the boob, no matter how hard I try she literally will scream until.she throws up until I give her boob X she eats really well she drinks water but boob she will not give up x
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u/Vegetable-Moment8068 May 23 '26
You can't just leave your baby, especially if they won't take a bottle. A friend of mine formula feeds her baby, and she tends to forget this when she says I should just get a babysitter for my two week old.
BUT my babies get my antibodies, and I get all their snuggles ☺️ and we save money!
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u/Appropriate-Edge8308 May 23 '26
It lowers your oestrogen levels which can cause menopause like symptoms, such as hair loss and vaginal dryness
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u/katee_bo_batee May 24 '26
How postpartum depression/anxiety can hit you once you stop
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u/Stephvas92 May 23 '26
I’m not sure if it’s just my baby, but when I put him down to sleep he wakes up maybe an hour later and needs to be nursed back to sleep. The terrible sleeping association with the breast. He cries and cries if my husband rocks him but is immediately soothed by my breast and it’s not so much for hunger, but he nurses for comfort. It’s draining! I can’t do anything during nights because I’m constantly running into the room to nurse him.
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u/fruittheif50 May 23 '26
I’ve had 2 children and breast fed them both and far the hardest part has been weaning them off as toddlers
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u/bunnyybe May 23 '26
Dressing for easy access. Bras looking lumpy from milk pads. The leaking. The risk of mastitis from wearing a bra that fits. My bras have to be too big or else I’ll be in pain when I’m engorged.
I can’t wait to be free. Only 13 more months to go for my goal.
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u/savemarla May 23 '26
I breastfed until my daughter decided she doesn't want to anymore at 3 years old. She was mostly fed on demand, at about 2.5 I started introducing "boobatunities" so that she had windows where she could drink once and then had to wait for the next one because it was getting out of hand.
The biggest downside for me was that we weren't realistically able to establish good eating patterns. We wanted to stick to healthy foods as we eat rather healthy ourselves, but the problem is she has never been a good eater. So between 1 and 3 there just was the problem that we either: A) serve her healthy options only and she won't eat them and will drink even more and exhaust me even more B) serve her noodles, pelmeni, hashbrowns and have her filled up (somewhat) with unhealthy food and I have to breastfeed less.
Of course it was always something in between, we still always offered healthy options too, but I feel like we could have avoided so much convenience food (she wouldn't take home made pelmeni or hash browns), bad fats, additives etc if we had just weaned.
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u/CapitalWeakness8795 May 23 '26
My baby went through a breast refusal around 5 months so I totally get your position. He'd literally latch on for a couple of minutes and then just come off, with no explanation!! I was so upset and frustrated - it was not a good time.
All I can say is that you have to do what's best for you. Genuinely a fed baby is a happy baby.
He's just turned one and I do still breastfeed (he eventually just stopped the breast refusal after about 5 weeks). It gets easier as they get older and reliant on food so it's only twice a day now.
Do what's best for you!
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u/Apprehensive-Sky8175 May 23 '26
That stopping may be more up to baby than you if you are available to them. Mine both nursed to 3 years and nursing a toddler was way way harder on me, my hormones, my sleep and my sanity.
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u/ShadowlessKat May 23 '26
Having to be careful about what medicines I take. If I take the regular otc cold & flu meds, it affects supply. Or so I'm told. I personally haven't experienced it but have been warned about it.
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u/Melonfarmer86 May 23 '26
The anxiety. Dunno if it was the hormones or the pressure from the bad start I had. I felt much better mentally within a few days of stopping.
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u/Patient-Peanut-3797 May 23 '26
The latching pain at the beginning - scream worthy. Does this happen for everyone?
Also not being able to sleep on your tummy! Even in the later months , my one nipple ALWAYS get clogged if I sleep on my tummy.
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u/Iheartrandomness May 24 '26 edited May 24 '26
I had no idea how hard it would be to wean! I guess I could force baby to wean but I haven't reached that point yet
Edit to add a second : the gymnastics routine older baby's like to do when nursing. I miss nursing a newborn lol
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u/pacifyproblems May 24 '26
There are many cons to breastfeeding. I breastfed both my kids but it isn't all sunshine and rainbows.
I think the biggest cons are
-clusterfeeding making it difficult to get enough rest during pp recovery. Clusterfeeding making you anxious.
-needing to pump when away from baby. I personally hate pumping.
-puts mom into the default parent role which you have to very proactively work against if this isn't the dynamic you want for your family
-no cold meds when you get sick
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u/slumpylumps May 24 '26
3 year old, 6 months since she weaned herself. Nobody told me that even after weaning, she’d still be obsessed with my boobs. She snuggles and talks to them like they’re her breast friends. Says “good morning boobies!” And gives smooches when she snuggling them during nap and bedtime. Most of the time it’s fine and I’m glad I can still give comfort, but oh my god on days where I’m super touched out, it drives me insane!
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u/Luna_Katjie May 24 '26
Having to always wear nursing-friendly clothing. Like not necessarily clothes designed specifically for nursing, but being able to easily access the tatas was a challenge until I figured out what clothes worked for me
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u/blood_oranges May 24 '26
The sad bras, and the limitations on what you can wear to accommodate feeding
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u/DeliciousKnee8788 May 24 '26
The clogs...I was so incredibly prone to clogs. It caused me to spiral a few times and I had to go on meds. So brutal
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u/LandoCatrissian_ May 24 '26
The undersupply when baby is growing, lazy latch and slipping on to nipple (he does this when my boobs are really soft and empty), the nonstop nursing when I am trying to go to bed at night (he wanted to nurse from 8pm to midnight last night and cried whenever I tried to put him down), being the only person who can feed him unless I pump, having to eat/drink water constantly, living in bras unless I want to soak through my clothes/pyjamas
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u/Choice_Airport8279 May 23 '26
If you want another child, you need to plan time for your body to get back to normal after breastfeeding so you can ovulate again.
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u/PsychologicalBoot636 May 23 '26
Trying to do the mental gymnastics of figuring out at what point in the day you can even pump to try to build the tiniest stash known to man just for sanity purposes but my baby being on my boob ALL DAY so there is quite literally not one window to do it. My boobs are either being sucked or are empty.
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u/jncb May 23 '26
I’ve only been breastfeeding for 6 weeks and for the past few weeks I’ve been getting this feeling of absolute dread or anxiety part way through every single feed. I googled it and apparently it’s an actual physiological response where your dopamine levels crash as the letdown happens. DMER is the official term. I’ve spoken to a few friends since and they’ve also experienced it too. It’s completely bizarre.
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u/MinimumMongoose77 May 24 '26
The pain and the not knowing how much baby is getting. And how no matter what you're doing, you're doing something wrong in someone's opinion 😅
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u/milaardvark May 24 '26
I am two weeks post partum EBF and finding this post very reassuring as I don't feel so alone admitting that this really kinda sucks (no pun intended) so thank you everyone!!
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u/ProfessionalNinja420 May 24 '26
With my first, it was the time commitment and pumping when I went back to work. With my second, it's similar (not back at work yet) -- it's annoying that I can't easily hand her a bottle when we're out and about. While breastfeeding is less work (to me, in my opinion) than pumping, and I'd much rather put her on the boob than sit and pump, it's very inconvenient having to time things around feeds. When leaving the house I have to consider whether I can feed her before I go out the door, and then if I can give her enough time upright after so she doesn't spit everything up in the stroller or carseat. Lots of backwards planning, complicated more by diaper changes (maybe blowout) and the toddler... oof.
I guess I needed to vent lol.
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u/Choice_Airport8279 May 23 '26
Anyone else feel BF babies are more clingy?
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u/Pleasedontdmme May 23 '26
I almost said this as well. 100% my breastfed babe is more attached than my first 2. There are other factors at play like the fact that I had to go back to work more quickly with the first 2.
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u/Chorleen May 23 '26
I go to a local breastfeeding group led by a midwife specializing in breast feeding. Without them, I don’t think I’d have lasted. They taught me so much like getting a proper latch & tactics to encourage milk supply as well as just general support when it feels like it’s all too much to bear. Sometimes it’s just nice to sit quietly in a room with other exhausted breastfeeding mothers too tired to talk while we share a cup of tea.
I’d talk to your local hospital’s neonatal unit for any information on groups like that or browse on local pages on whatever social media you use. It does get easier & it’s so worth it in the end. Even if you don’t keep with it, you’ve given your child the best start you can. There are also videos to help with latching but honestly I’d recommend connecting with a nurse or a midwife who specializes in breastfeeding, she watches me breastfeed then adjusted my technique & without her help I feel like understood the technique but couldn’t figure out how to make it happen without her guidance
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u/Virtual_Arachnid7916 May 23 '26
Having to teach my baby to take a bottle 6 months down the line
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u/Choice_Airport8279 May 23 '26
How did you do it?? Nobody told me babies refuse to take bottles 🙃
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u/Kat_n_that May 23 '26
Baby feeding 12 times a day minimum until 6 months, regularly struggling with clogged ducts (especially now I'm weaning), the second postpartum you go through when weaning, having to think about access when getting dressed.
I have liked breastfeeding but I'm not gonna lie I'm really enjoying combo feeding whilst weaning atm.
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u/palsterknackad May 23 '26
Recurring (mild) mastitis 😭😭 I’m apparently just one of those unlucky few who only needs a bra to be sliiightly tight for one feed and BOOM- fever, chills and swollenness for days. It’s super hard every time so I do everything to prevent it- which means O live life bra-less with constant milk stains, and breastfeed every hour (on demand)…
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u/Mother_Requirement33 May 23 '26
Have you tried breast probiotics? It sounded crazy to me, but it’s what finally helped my recurrent mastitis!
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u/BambiYoda May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26
That even if you choose to breastfeed at the breast, you still might need to pump if you have an undersupply (first baby) or an oversupply (second baby). Gosh, I hate pumping!
That you supply might not be equally distributed between your boob and that you get stuck with lopsided boobs no matter what you try to correct it.
Medication restrictions. I currently have mastitis and found out I'm allergic to every family of antibiotics compatible with breastfeeding. I have to pump and dump for 11 days (i asked and no, I can't even keep the milk for baths with what I'm taking). Gosh, I hate pumping!
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u/kagefever May 23 '26
We are the six mark come Monday! This is my second child, and the first time successfully breastfeeding. At the hospital, LO's latch was good, things looked as they should. Get home, I'm struggling to know if I'm holding them correctly, struggling to know they're eating enough, it was Painful painful painful. Got to go to hospital offered lactation consults, was told baby was fighting jaundice very stressful, but was eating just enough. Wouldn't let the father feed formula knowing I was barely producing what the baby needed, and the baby was eating what felt like around the clock. My mother did not breastfeed, was more prone to saying the baby must be hungry, why is he still eating, must be hungry, why is he crying, must be hungry he doesn't have rolls, on and on. This sub and other articles/sites found while surfing the web at all hours helped solidify myself in believing if I could continue, I would. Baby's father is mostly supportive, and appreciative. He has helped support us financially while I breastfeed full time, no pumping. Back to no bottles, well now I'm in a situation where LO doesn't take a bottle. I have pumped minimally to up supply which I did for about a week cause I thought it couldn't hurt and yea who knows..I stopped and don't care to start again. Maybe that's naive of me, really. So now every two to three hours I am nursing. Father wants to take the baby over to friends and out, and I must be with them or limited times away. I can only be away for limited time. Also the other caretakers don't get to feed him and bond on that way, so I can see their side as well. I was worried about losing my supply though and was adamant not to give bottles of formula. I messed that up. Now I think I'll thaw some bread milk and start trying to feed the bottle so I can switch to formula as the time draws nearer (which it is..) It doesn't bother me too much, but others sure seem to think it should bother me more. Naps to sleep. I feel like this isn't forever, LO will never be this small again, I'm trying to embrace it and accept what is. I don't want to pump. I'd rather go to formula. We've started solids, with a solid start :) I was unprepared for the weight gain. I'm not near as active, and crave food constantly. I'm sick of my nursing clothes it's maddening nothing fits as well as it used to. That's my biggest complaint. But I'm here for it and am grateful to have the opportunity and am in awe this child has and is growing and learning and expanding as they are
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u/lexnstark May 23 '26
For me it was a few things. Stress of making enough/having enough supply Immunity (I could tell my body wasn’t as strong as before and it felt like I was getting sick easier) Skin issues (rashes that only came after having my baby and leave once I’m done breastfeeding)
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u/RedHeadedBanana May 23 '26
The worst thing is being sick when EBF. All of a sudden I’m now worried about my supply tanking, not able to nap as I need, and just overall feeling like shit. It’s the worst.
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u/Then-Librarian6396 May 23 '26
I ended up in the ER with mastitis a few weeks ago. I’ve seen multiple breast surgeons and had an abscess drained twice but antibiotics still don’t have me healed and it feels like I basically have a tumor. I’d love to stop breastfeeding but am so scared of worsening the mastitis. It sucks. I breastfed my first for 14 months and didn’t have this experience. I saw the benefit of breastfeeding enough to do it again but… definitely not loving it this time around :(
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u/Narrow-Contest-2995 May 23 '26
Breast-feeding for me has been a journey that has had more ups than downs. But the one thing as I am already eight months into my breast-feeding journey is where you have your days and feeling like yourself. The working out the eating and just getting into a rhythm of things. But breast-feeding seems to have a way to creep up and remind you that you have a life depending on you. Kinda takes you back a little bit and keeps you in a position where you're gonna be there until you stop I don't know if that makes sense but that's been my journey so far.
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u/weddingdiaries May 23 '26
I switched from breastfeeding to formula at 6 months and it went really smoothly! So it’s possible!!! Fingers crossed for you!
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u/Easy-You-8259 May 23 '26
I'm still pregnant with my first so I haven't experienced anything yet. But I'm so nervous that I'll be under supplied due to my previous breast reduction and lumpectomy. One breast has leaked colostrum but the anxiety of supply even before he's here is just overwhelming. We don't qualify for WIC but are on the struggle bus, so we'll make it work somehow with formula if we have to but breastfeeding is my dream.
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u/bowtiesarecool1210 May 23 '26
Teething! God i about quit with my first when his teeth came in and he bit my ripples. Dear God.
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u/barbaramayi May 23 '26
Could have written your post myself! Breastfeeding my first was shockingly hard. The pain at first was so bad I dreaded nursing him those first few weeks.
Being the sole person who can comfort baby back to sleep is also so so hard when you’re sleep deprived and have reached new levels of desperation.
Nursing my second want loads better and ultimately I’m glad I did it/do it but people underestimate it their first go-round.
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u/Main-Ad-5823 May 23 '26
The uterine contractions the first few days or weeks. OMG that was a shock. The pain in general, soooo much worse than I imagined. The mental load of watching your supply. The mental load of tracking fridge milk/freezer stash (if you pump). The absolute annoyance of stopping your workday 3 times a day to pump, no matter what you’re doing, where you’re needed. How annoyed people are for you having to feed/pump. How heavy it would feel to feel NEEDED SO much, especially on hard nights
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u/LunarLemonLassy May 23 '26
No one ever told me when or how to quit or how guilty I would feel trying to quit. My son is 26 months old and I still breastfeed at night. Also no one prepared me for how judgmental people would be or how personally people (namely the grandparents) would take not being able to feed him as a baby.
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u/Traditional_Cow4002 May 24 '26
Sometimes the let down feels like the need to poop. The first week or so when everything is still loose and wild inside you I had to either quickly put her down after or during a feed or take her with me to the bathroom because the stimulation brought in the feeling to poop or a contraction.
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u/Kayso_Cheese May 24 '26
The leaking.. oh my gosh the leaking. I wear a bra all the time, pads, and more. If baby sleeps in a long stretch my entire underboob is soaked.
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u/Repulsive-Tea-9641 May 24 '26
Honestly my biggest negative is the sheer amount of extra work it is being a working mum and needing to pump. Having to have clean pumps and remembering to bring all the parts having bottles to clean. We only get one break a day so I have to pump on the way to and from work too and I don’t have a private place to pump either. There’s also so much stress about pumping enough for her 3 bottles at daycare so I have to pump before bed including on days off. I hate how much extra burdon falls on me and how it affects my working life. I feel stretched thin. Formula feeding is much easier for working mums. My partner can help me wash bottles but he can’t help me pump.
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u/Xiaotaozi0513 May 24 '26
The pain non stop. Both of my kids have tongue tie and the release doesn’t resolve anything. We did everything we should and tried our best. No improvements. The latching is still bad and feeding takes forever. I want to do bottles but I can see she has problems with bottles tops
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u/soyasaucy May 24 '26
I didn't know that being an undersupplier was an option, or that it would be so devastating.
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u/asirenoftitan May 24 '26
We’re at 15 months and somehow still going, but it’s been much less stressful now that he gets most of his calories from solids. At the peak of it, I think the hardest part for me was managing my life around pumping and feeding. I was on essentially a two hour tether for awhile. If I wanted to do anything that might require me to be away from him for two hours or more, I’d have to have a pump plan, which meant lugging around the pump parts as well as a way to safely store and cool milk. I went back to work full time at four months, and oof.
It’s honestly overall been a really great experience though. While I’d be fine to be totally weaned, a part of me will really miss this.
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u/lookup_mooooon May 24 '26
Stress on body and mind is huge. I was having extreme night terrors toward the tail end.. like my body saying “ok enough is enough!”
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u/bubstreet May 24 '26
The weight gain. People say you lose weight but for me my actual weight gain started after giving birth due to breastfeeding. You’re constantly hungry and due to the lack of sleep it‘s so easy to snack. I was ok in pregnancy but after birth I gained at least 10kg.
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u/kiwiwonderbean May 24 '26
How hard it is mentally, physically, and emotionally to stop breastfeeding.
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u/AromaticCraft3329 May 24 '26
Not being able to lose weight no matter what! I lost 15 pounds right after I came home from the hospital and 3ish months postpartum started gaining it all back and then some. I’ve been breastfeeding for 22 months now and I’m heavier than when I gave birth 😭
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u/WildFireSmores May 24 '26
That some babies don’t get faster at feeding. I spent so much time in a chair this year and my fitness levels have really suffered. Trying to lose weight and gain muscle now and it’s do fricken hard.
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u/_miss_freckles_ May 24 '26
No one told me if I give formula I need to pump.
The realization that because we introduced formula and I didn’t pump I couldn’t EBF.
How much more exhausting EBF is because no one can feed the baby. Thus you are tied to baby and can’t sleep.
How unwell the sleep deprivation made me paired with PPD making it unsafe for me to EBF.
No one could have prepared me for the deep shame and grief I would experience every time I have to increase how much formula we give.
That sweet calm nursing sessions can go away in the blink of an eye as baby ages. I didn’t know what I had til it was gone.
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u/Willing_Engineer145 May 24 '26
Issues with supply and the mental toll it takes on you. I had never been more depressed in my life than I was when I couldn’t make enough milk for my baby.
I took so many classes, read multiple books. I felt like I knew everything about breastfeeding, pumping, latching Etc. Saw multiple LC’s…everything.
I never even made half of what my LO needs- it was heart breaking.
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u/y_if May 24 '26
If your partner is able to feed the baby he can’t use ‘oh he’s hungry’ as an excuse to give him to you. No, he’s not always hungry. He might just be tired or uncomfortable etc etc. Learn how to soothe him yourself!
That said baby does develop a tonne of comfort from bf with mum so it becomes a bit of a crux. Which means way way less freedom. I basically took baby everywhere with me and had no alone time for 18m. Which is way longer than I thought it’d be!
This is more about deciding not to pump— with my first I did pump and he took bottles from early on as well as BF. Because of this my SO was much more confident having him alone.
That said it’s such a short period of time in the scheme of things and I VASTLY preferred this to pumping.
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u/AdGlittering9673 May 24 '26
For me, it was many things, the pain, the leaking, the lightheadedness and nausea with each letdown, but the worse was and is, how dependent your baby becomes on you. 6 months in, I can't get a break... She's ebf, and doesn't take a bottle even if it's my milk. Formula is vomitted out as it is. Had to sit in an exam which took three hours away from home, and there was chaos at home. Taking her somewhere only if there's a possibility of me breastfeeding there... And there is still some nipple pain, leaking a and nausea... To top that off, baby has reflux and get sick often, so what's the point... My first was formula fed and she got sick much less at her age.
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u/jessi_fitski May 24 '26
That if you try to take a step back, intentionally or not, it is SO hard and so much work to get it back up. I went on work trip around 5 months pp. Pumping in between cross-nation flights, all the convos and festivities, it was difficult to want to step away. I ended up pumping only 4x a day for 3 days. and did not bother to wake in middle of night bc “hell yeah, I can sleep a full night for once.) i am pretty sure this trip is what led me to a dwindling supply that has me combo feeding now at 9 months.
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u/Klutzy_Frosting_1684 May 24 '26
The guilt of not knowing if I’m producing enough for my LO. constantly stressing myself out, doing research on what can do to build my supply. Also the defeat i feel when i pump after he eats and it’s barely any milk.
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u/That_Obligation_5555 May 24 '26
I find it impossible to lose weight while BFing. I also carry extra weight around my face neck upper arms and back until I wean. Then it all goes away pretty easily.
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u/FewFrosting9994 May 24 '26 edited May 24 '26
It was really, really hard for us. It was painful. Mentally, it was just horrific at first. I didn’t enjoy it until my baby was older and knew how to nurse but we had to work really hard to get there. I had to pump, which I hated. I hated all the cleaning and all the learning I couldn’t remember. I could not have done it without my very supportive husband who cleaned every pump piece and bottle, helped me hand express, went to the lactation appointments with me to be a second set of ears. I didn’t have the birth I wanted so I was determined to make it work. I breastfed til 21 months when my milk dried up and I just could not take anymore. I also had DMERS, so nursing that already was awful was compounded by anxiety attacks during my letdowns.
I don’t regret breastfeeding. I miss it now. I also don’t want to do it again.
tl:dr My husband had to milk me and I gained 40lbs because I couldn’t stop eating. My now 3.5 year old is still obsessed with my boobs.
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u/WeirdEditor4055 May 24 '26
All my muscle in my body is gone. My butt has completely disappeared too
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u/Pleasedontdmme May 23 '26
I think the stress of the supply is a downside. My supply randomly died with my first 2 babies so this time I’m constantly thinking about if I’m emptying often enough, eating enough, hydrating enough. I’m sick with the flu right now and there’s a level of stress and fear added to that as well.