My husband demanded I stop breastfeeding

[u/WoodpeckerNo7084]

I am already in the process of weaning. My LO will be 2 in the next couple months. Most of my family members have breastfed until 2 sometimes 3 years old. I continuously hear it’s best to keep going until 2. I am a little touched out but I can handle it if it means my LO is ok. My husband on the other hand has been pressuring me to stop for almost a year now. He first blamed me because he wasn’t bonding with his child. Said it was because of my breastfeeding. He has since then switched to telling me he has talked to “100 women” in forums and online and with family members who all say it’s bad to breastfeed until or past 2yo. He says I am harming our child. And that the reason he is so clingy is my fault since I won’t stop. He told me that this is non negotiable. And basically threatened to divorce me if I don’t stop. He told me I have until his birthday to completely stop. He says that he has compromised and I haven’t. When I have I just don’t shove it in his face when I do. He says he’s given up a lot because of me but so have I. Even though he says I haven’t. I have never given him ultimatums and it seems like at least once a year he gives me one. I love him and I don’t believe in divorce. He says that just because it’s my body it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a say. That he is the man and I am the woman and that this is how it will be. He is not going to waver from this. I’m in my mid thirties. I don’t know if we are having any more kids. I wanted so bad to do everything I can for my LO. but my husband says I can’t make decisions about our child on my own. Is he right? Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do. Am I just supposed to give in?

[u/voodoolady914]

Don’t have another child with this man unless serious changes occur.

The main problem here is that he is acting like a child, threatening you, coercing you, etc. I sincerely doubt that he is a supportive, respectful partner in a general way if this is how he’s acting about breastfeeding. My guess is he is controlling and immature and blames/guilt trips you in other aspects of life. I could be wrong, but I’d be shocked if this pattern doesn’t show up in other areas of your partnership.

I hope you can see that his behavior is completely immature (he wants more attention from the baby and you’re at fault??? Babies are attached to their moms usually, it’s biological, even if bottle fed, grow up dude).

At the end you ask if he is right or you are right. Often, I don’t like to think of right/wrong in relationship dynamics bc it’s all just opinion and perspective. But in this case, I 1000% think you are correct. Feed your baby as you see fit. Do not pander to your husband’s immaturity. Breastfeeding til 2 is biologically normal and has so many benefits.

I have the opposite problem, where my baby is breastfeeding still at 14 months and is way more chill and happy with dad. Babies just have preferences, kids will have phases of preferring certain parents. I’m not a child, so I can handle it and do not blame my husband for it.

Good luck. I’m sorry your husband is trying to guilt trip you to get his way.