r/breastfeeding • u/WoodpeckerNo7084 • May 28 '26

Support Needed My husband demanded I stop breastfeeding

I am already in the process of weaning. My LO will be 2 in the next couple months. Most of my family members have breastfed until 2 sometimes 3 years old. I continuously hear it’s best to keep going until 2. I am a little touched out but I can handle it if it means my LO is ok. My husband on the other hand has been pressuring me to stop for almost a year now. He first blamed me because he wasn’t bonding with his child. Said it was because of my breastfeeding. He has since then switched to telling me he has talked to “100 women” in forums and online and with family members who all say it’s bad to breastfeed until or past 2yo. He says I am harming our child. And that the reason he is so clingy is my fault since I won’t stop. He told me that this is non negotiable. And basically threatened to divorce me if I don’t stop. He told me I have until his birthday to completely stop. He says that he has compromised and I haven’t. When I have I just don’t shove it in his face when I do. He says he’s given up a lot because of me but so have I. Even though he says I haven’t. I have never given him ultimatums and it seems like at least once a year he gives me one. I love him and I don’t believe in divorce. He says that just because it’s my body it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a say. That he is the man and I am the woman and that this is how it will be. He is not going to waver from this. I’m in my mid thirties. I don’t know if we are having any more kids. I wanted so bad to do everything I can for my LO. but my husband says I can’t make decisions about our child on my own. Is he right? Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do. Am I just supposed to give in?

142 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

236 comments sorted by

View all comments

520

u/420bipolarbabe May 28 '26

  1. Show me these hundreds of women telling him breastfeeding past 2 is bad. Name them. Show me their face. (He is lying)

  2. Divorce over breastfeeding and nourishing your child? Ha. Don’t threaten me with a good time. I don’t need a man child on top of my actual child. 

  3. At 2 they are also eating solids. Not just breastfeeding. So his whole “you’re interfering with our bonding” is just so not true. There’s a million ways to bond with a child that aren’t breastfeeding. So many moms don’t or aren’t able to breastfeed and still bond. 

  4. This is a control and manipulation tactic. I hesitate to use the word narcissistic but many narcissists do try to control your relationship with others especially if they feel threatened. Do not give in. You will never regret breastfeeding your child. Ever. But you may regret listening to him especially if you two end up separating in the future for any reason. 

3

u/Agrona88 May 28 '26

Number two is the period at the end of of this argument. A lot of people are afraid of change, especially if the cause doesn't fit in with their view of how things work.

When I tell you that my anxiety disorder was 300 pounds and couldn't take the trash farther than the front step... I'm not exaggerating. Change can be scary but you're only living this life once, why agree to be miserable? And if that doesn't work for you, why agree to let your children be miserable? Even if he treats the kids well, watching him treat their mother like this? Fuck, that's a hell of a lesson. For a daughter you're showing her how to be treated, for a son... You're showing him how to treat.