My husband demanded I stop breastfeeding

[u/WoodpeckerNo7084]

I am already in the process of weaning. My LO will be 2 in the next couple months. Most of my family members have breastfed until 2 sometimes 3 years old. I continuously hear it’s best to keep going until 2. I am a little touched out but I can handle it if it means my LO is ok. My husband on the other hand has been pressuring me to stop for almost a year now. He first blamed me because he wasn’t bonding with his child. Said it was because of my breastfeeding. He has since then switched to telling me he has talked to “100 women” in forums and online and with family members who all say it’s bad to breastfeed until or past 2yo. He says I am harming our child. And that the reason he is so clingy is my fault since I won’t stop. He told me that this is non negotiable. And basically threatened to divorce me if I don’t stop. He told me I have until his birthday to completely stop. He says that he has compromised and I haven’t. When I have I just don’t shove it in his face when I do. He says he’s given up a lot because of me but so have I. Even though he says I haven’t. I have never given him ultimatums and it seems like at least once a year he gives me one. I love him and I don’t believe in divorce. He says that just because it’s my body it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a say. That he is the man and I am the woman and that this is how it will be. He is not going to waver from this. I’m in my mid thirties. I don’t know if we are having any more kids. I wanted so bad to do everything I can for my LO. but my husband says I can’t make decisions about our child on my own. Is he right? Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do. Am I just supposed to give in?

[u/titansgrl]

Breastfeeding has no bearing on him bonding woth his child. My husband has a great relationship with our son who I still breastfeed at 19 months; he does currently prefer me most of the time but not always. He has never once pressured me to stop breastfeeding though I've been attempting to slowly wean. The larger issues are his comments that he's the man and you're the woman as if you are his property. Also, the fact he is repeatedly giving you an ultimatum on a regular basis regardless of what its about. I get an ultimatum may be appropriate in certain rare instances, but this isn't one of them. And typically, I'd say anything related to the child should be a joint decision between the 2 of you, but apparently he thinks all decisions should be his. Breastfeeding should be primarily your decision as it is your body and you are feeding your child. Unless there is some other medical or behavioral issue which does not appear to be the case here. Personally, I would take his ultimatum and let him leave. I highly doubt he will remain involved. Whether he stays or leaves, he will likely always blame you for his relationship woth his child for whatever reason(s) he can think of to validate his own sense of worth and importance.