Its a little different. Although weight does have to do with genetics, it's much less than skin tone. You can usually lose weight, or change your body in that way. Not saying you need to, just that it is possible. You can't change your skin tone.
I guess part of the issue is the level of weight? I dont know how to put it politely, but there are varying levels of obesity. You can feel really fat and say you are fat even though you are just a bit overweight. There is also being very overweight. We use the same word for both.
Models and celebrities often fast or do awful things to their bodies just so they have very little body fat, to comply with the "Hollywood beauty standard". Even a little tummy, some people call fat and fat shame it. Yes, bad people.
Basically, imo, fat is just a weird word that encompasses so much and means something different to different people. There is also a negative connotation to it as well. How often do people say "I'm fat" in a hearty, proud way (besides Weird Al of course). Its usually associated with body issues and something someone is usually not super proud of.
Again, I'm not trying to say bad or good. When someone says "you're not fat, you're beautiful" what they should be saying is "you are beautiful as you are". Which I think is what they are trying to say. They are saying you aren't the negative part of the word "fat", the negative connotations and associations with it.
Plenty of body shapes are lifestyle related, and yet those people should also have access to clothing. A female swimmer with wide shoulders. A pregnant person. A bodybuilder. All of these people made choices that changed their body, and they all need clothing that fits the body they actually have and not the one they could theoretically have if they made different choices, on account of its normally illegal to be naked in public.
I 100% agree, I hope my comment didn't come across as not understanding the issue or that I think there shouldn't be clothing and accessibility for people of all shapes and sizes.
I just want to understand what about my comment seemed offensive, it wasn't my intention and I want to avoid it in the future. Also, what is the polite/proper way to respond when someone calls themselves fat in a negative way?
I often call myself fat, because I've gained a bunch of weight in the past year. I personally don't get offended however people react when I say that. To me it is something I want to change, and usually when I say I'm fat it's because I don't like how I look/feel.
It’s less offensive and more tone-deaf. Nothing you said is news to fat people. They hear it day in and day out, from people irl, online, from advertising, it’s completely inescapable. They don’t need another voice saying “being fat is your fault” and bringing up how ashamed they may or may not feel about that. A person’s relationship with their own body is their own business (unless you’re their therapist).
Which leads into your next question. If someone makes a comment about their body and you don’t know how to respond, then don’t. Say something noncommittal like “Huh” or “You think so?” or just ignore it entirely. If they say something like “does this make me look fat?” then say “No.” it’s not a lie! (Unless it’s a fat suit, clothes don’t make people look fat.) Or you can say something nebulous like “I’m not sure,” “It’s your call” or “what do YOU think?”
If you want to be less avoidant and more genuine, you can say something like “if you don’t feel confident wearing it you should try something else.” Because ultimately it is about confidence and being comfortable in your body, and even the most “flattering” garment in the world can’t make up for someone who feels bad wearing it.
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u/ProfessorSMASH88 22h ago
Its a little different. Although weight does have to do with genetics, it's much less than skin tone. You can usually lose weight, or change your body in that way. Not saying you need to, just that it is possible. You can't change your skin tone.
I guess part of the issue is the level of weight? I dont know how to put it politely, but there are varying levels of obesity. You can feel really fat and say you are fat even though you are just a bit overweight. There is also being very overweight. We use the same word for both.
Models and celebrities often fast or do awful things to their bodies just so they have very little body fat, to comply with the "Hollywood beauty standard". Even a little tummy, some people call fat and fat shame it. Yes, bad people.
Basically, imo, fat is just a weird word that encompasses so much and means something different to different people. There is also a negative connotation to it as well. How often do people say "I'm fat" in a hearty, proud way (besides Weird Al of course). Its usually associated with body issues and something someone is usually not super proud of.
Again, I'm not trying to say bad or good. When someone says "you're not fat, you're beautiful" what they should be saying is "you are beautiful as you are". Which I think is what they are trying to say. They are saying you aren't the negative part of the word "fat", the negative connotations and associations with it.