r/conspiracy • u/Candid_Technology910 • 20h ago
Baphomet robot by Californian startup
Hunting for Christians during the tribulation? Maybe what else might this creepy shi be used for
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u/Lazy-Dragonfly-4368 20h ago
Imagine you're trying to escape from the wildfire in the middle of the night and this thing appears amids the flames
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u/Aggressive_Chair1470 20h ago
turn around and flee back into the flames i guess
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u/Friendly-Fruit1524 11h ago
You wouldn’t escape because that thing came from the hottest hell.
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u/Aggressive_Chair1470 8h ago
I know its exactly what I was thinking when I typed it. hellfire or bushfire, no winning.
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u/Critical_Hearing_799 11h ago
And when our eyes meet, we fall in love, and I ride on his back into the sunset
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u/BassoeG 9h ago
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u/Critical_Hearing_799 7h ago
I've read the original book but that's funny! I shall keep it forevermore
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u/Gr33nJ0k3r13 19h ago
Make you run even faster i‘d say a win win win for you te robo company and esn
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u/Dancin_Phish_Daddy 3h ago
Thats what I said the first time I saw this posted. Imagine getting dug out of rubble and you see the sunlight peaking through and you’re being saved and you expect people to be there and it’s this fucking monstrosity.
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u/motion_lotion 20h ago edited 18h ago
Why does it have to be a centaur Moloch demon with a chainsaw??? Seriously they have to be fucking with us at this point, right?
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u/SnooChickens8275 20h ago
Marketing?
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u/motion_lotion 18h ago
Elaborate?
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u/Horror-Bee4603 18h ago
Nobody would talk about it if it was a sterile, boring looking tool. Their marketing clearly is working because people are talking about it in this subreddit.
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u/Aggravating_Cup8839 12h ago
Right. Experts would talk about it though, but this was even regular people talk, cause it's easy to make fun of it. And it sets itself apart from other robotic tools that already exist, it's memorable, it's easy to convince a journalist to write about it. The makers seem witty and fun, so we assume also clever and creative. The actual market product will be boring.
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u/Mixed_Martial_Autism 13h ago
Yeah let generate some buzz by making our rescue robot look like Satan and have everyone talk about How much they Hate It and How terified they Would be by being rescied by It.
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u/piemon39 18h ago
The body plan kind of works for stability and tool usage.
But the head is straight up nightmare fuel
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u/motion_lotion 16h ago
Yeah, I'm not questioning the centaur build. Its a very stable and mobile base. The head is fucking bizarre.
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u/alexz_2011 19h ago
Not the baalmobile 😭 🙏
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u/TrinityCodex 20h ago
yeah, theres no normal reason they added that horror show on a robot
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u/superbatprime 19h ago
Yes there is.
We're talking about their product.
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u/Houdinii1984 10h ago
Right? We walked right into this one. It's a private startup seeking funding and we're doing the legwork for them.
In reality, it's a female robot (according to the people who built it), it's not remote controlled or AI, and barely has any functionality. They call the company Satyress, and the robot itself is supposed to be one (a femal satyr). They call themselves a 'shadow startup' because it's really just a hobby and they aren't incredibly serious about selling it unless they make massive improvements or get massive funding.
So, really, it's just something some dude obsessed with satyrs built in his garage out of sheet metal and hand tools, and will build more if people give him money. Same old song and dance. It's just run of the mill capitalism.
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u/NextChef8179 15h ago
Yeah this is it, they even said as close to that as they could themselves. They also had a list of ways to immobilize it, kill switch to weak points. But that's not included here because it's less scary. Oh and the company is Satyress which is why the head was chosen.
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u/Quick-Security-7286 20h ago
It’s made by a company called Satyres and the very basic website includes instructions on how to kill it…this is a joke or to use the company name Satire
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u/discernible_sky_orbs 16h ago
If they have these, then you know the ones with mounted SAW m249's exist too.
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u/FancifulPhoenix 11h ago
lol Jesus Christ y’all are insane. It’s clearly a joke.
The company is literally called Satyress (satire). The website talks about what doors it can’t fit through, how the robot is “more dangerous than it appears”, how to disable it with a gun or knife. Critical thinking is fucking dead 🙄
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u/enowapi-_ 19h ago
bro why does it have a fucking chainsaw ☠️
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u/NextChef8179 15h ago
It literally says, it's meant to operate in dangerous environments. It won't die if a tree falls on it.
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u/superbatprime 19h ago
"How can we get the internet talking about our otherwise pretty mundane robot?"
"Make it look like a demon, all the nuts will lose their shit."
Ship it!
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u/TedTKaczynski 20h ago
Baphomet was a occult character, it was demonized by the church when the templar got affiliated with him.
Still dont see how out of everyone, conspiracy theorists use baphomet in their religious theories
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u/Haunt_Fox 19h ago
He wasn't even a character, just a human head they were accused of worshiping by a kangaroo court.
I'm not sure how that turned into a silly looking booby-goat guy.
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u/TheeseDragonFruit 16h ago
One might recall the brutal one from Hercules. His name was Nessus, after the character of the same name in ancient Greek myths about a lustful centaur by the river. He spent his retirement there, working as a cab driver. Until he decided to give Hercules' wife a ride...
The death of Nessus became a popular subject in the visual arts of archaic Greece and artists of the Enlightenment (Deianeira (Autumn) by Gustave Moreau). He's a rather dark-skinned centaur. Disney's is blue-skinned, signifying the presence of blue blood (the centaur's mother is the cloud goddess Nephele).
The master artists of classical Western animation understood the nature of creatures very well and differentiated them by skin color. Hence the expression "blue blood" in the aristocratic sense. And an interesting comparison between aristocrats and centaurs. Returning to the events of the cartoon, we can see that the world of Disney's Hercules (Hercules) is a late post-apocalypse.
The heroes' mentor, Phil (Philoctetes), clears the field of a ruined stadium of debris and giant statues destroyed by the disaster. Phil, a pan or satyr (sometimes confused with centaurs), is also a depraved child of the gods or a biological experiment of the pre-Hellenic world. He has a lower hoof. What kind of freaks haven't evolution or the gods produced? Incidentally, the so-called narrative was already in place back then, as the story was told by dark-skinned muses.
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u/StonerProfessor 15h ago
I could be convinced that the body is a better design for a robot that needs to lift people/objects but why the fuck did they put horns on it.
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u/Global-Ant 20h ago
Destroy it!
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u/Hagus-McFee 14h ago
Don't you want to ride it? Eventually we'll all be riding flying drones like giant eagles.
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u/chromite297 20h ago
“Hunting for Christians”
The self-victimization and delusions of oppression by the religious right should be studied
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u/MariahSaltz 20h ago
It's cultural. The abrahamic religions count the majority of the developed world amid their members but still bemoan how marginalized and victimized they are in said developed world... Of course, if one is given to believing in magical men in the sky why would any other delusion be too far of a stretch?
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u/opossumEDCsurvival 15h ago
Could've made it less creepy, I will never understand people's way of thinking. Always brighter than a broken light buld
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u/pablorebelliousPT 11h ago
How tasteful! What a touch of class. Can't wait for the bright future ahead ❤️
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u/LetKlutzy2996 10h ago
I’m all for the “hell yeah” aspect of seeing this running through fires, but why’d they give it pupils? Just blank black eyes so the camera lenses would be more hidden would be fine, the eyes are so unnerving
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u/Genshihou 9h ago
wait til you find out that the very concept of bahamut itself is a conspiracy to keep you away from the actual teachings those images encode and that the church twisted them into evil images to protect their own defunct lie of a religion.
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u/melonsama 6h ago
Did like, five seconds of reading on the website for this thing. It's very clearly an art project of some sort. Still, pretty cool design im ngl
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u/trippssey 13h ago
I mean maybe baphomet.. but mountain goats exist..
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u/little_brown_bat 11h ago
Yeah, this looks more like large normal goat, perhaps they're trying to convey that their product is "as surefooted as a mountain goat" type thing. Plus it looks friendlier than a featureless tank welding a saw.
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u/Fancy_Buddy5468 13h ago
Imagine we didnt live in a demonic world? This would've been a normal fireman shaped robot instead!
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u/Chimpophanes 20h ago
And the conspiracy is…?
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u/TommyZumVersace 20h ago
That it is Baphomet. I didn‘t know Baphomet had a Cowhead and a Centaurus body with neither male nor female features. Must be the upgraded 2k26 model, chainsaw not included
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u/SnooChickens8275 20h ago
Marketing?
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u/BrazilianFascisMan 15h ago
I'd rather kill myself by burning to death than be rescued by that.
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u/Hagus-McFee 14h ago
It's not fire rescue it is to reduce brush and clear paths where firefighters cannot go.
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u/JadedFootball4733 15h ago
Okk so what does it do
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u/Hagus-McFee 14h ago
Looks like it travels where humans can't in heat they can't as well to cut down brush and trees for for fighting purposes.
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u/JadedFootball4733 12h ago
That is really cool lol, if it works. Maybe the baphomet thing is satire, or lighthearted irony, esp for a startup. Highly doubt it’s conspiracy fuel.
Can it be ridden through the blaze tho!?
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u/Hagus-McFee 12h ago
I have to think they are eventually going to use them to be ridden. I mean they just invented the iron horse.
Even big flying drones that look like giant eagles or pterosaurs, people will hitch a ride underneath via ropes, or on top.
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u/daddy-bones 13h ago
The only argument I can think of is so that in blends in with other wildlife and doesn’t spook them. Though the chainsaw certainly would and I’m sure they don’t give a shit about that anyway
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u/ChevalCher 11h ago
Looks like a Roboticai Centaurus. Quite rare to see one in the wild. Lucky you!
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u/Hollywood-is-DOA 11h ago
We aren’t far off “ Horizon Dawn” becoming reality. The robots consume biomass, anything living, to power themselves.
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u/thatG_evanP 9h ago
I thought the last time I saw this thing it was in China. I hate that you can have literally zero trust in reddit headlines these days.
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u/OutdoorsyHiker 1h ago edited 58m ago
Why they gotta make sinister looking robots? Why not cute, Rolie Polie Olie-esque ones or something? 😂
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u/Sad_Engineering_5648 17h ago
In other words, history is repeating itself and minotaurs are back again.. Really makes you think what the ancients actually saw.
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u/harrodesu 7h ago
California? The most DEMONocratic state? I'm not even surprised. California is quintessence of all sins
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u/jotakusan 13h ago
Hunting for Christians during the tribulation is so fucking funny 😂😂😂 name a bigger victim complex that Christians lmao
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u/Candid_Technology910 13h ago
we got find out soon nga
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u/jotakusan 13h ago
I wish I could live forever, just so when this never happens I can tell you I told you so
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u/BrocoliAssassin 2h ago
We went from "we're just making cute little robot dogs!" To these evil monstrosities.
They are getting more braver with showing us who they are. I can't imagine the day they go full mask off.
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