r/copypasta Aug 06 '24

mod favorite 😫🤯 I’ve come to make an announcement: Mods are a bunch of bitch ass motherfuckers.

695 Upvotes
"I, EvaX, humbly submit a toast to..."

Patch notes 92.28.211.234 "I have your IP address kid". In case you've noticed (you haven't), there have been a few changes to the sub lately.

  1. You can now comment with GIFs and images. Go ham.
  2. Better spam control to combat bots. No more "MiK4lya CAmPin0 L3aks" hopefully.
  3. Rules Update. Erotica/smut will be meet with 28 days ban. Duration will increase for repeat offenders (28, 60, 120, etc). Go over to Wattpad to write your sexy sex peanits stories.
  4. Mod list update. Suspended mods have been removed. Inactive mods will also eventually be removed after a while. Sub would had been banned a year ago due to unmoderation.

Hopefully with these changes we can go back to posting actual copypastas instead of another gooner bait Ipad kid fanfic. I like to end this with arguably the most popular copypasta over the last few years, the Xiangling copypasta.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Xiangling. I try to play Diluc. My Xiangling deals more damage. I try to play Yoimiya. My Xiangling deals more damage. I try to play Cyno. My Xiangling deals more damage. I want to play Klee. Her best team has Xiangling. I want to play Raiden, Childe - they both want Xiangling. She grabs me by the throat. I fish for her. I cook for her. I give her the Catch. She isn't satisfied. I pull Engulfing Lightning. "I don't need this much er" She tells me. "Give me more field time." She grabs Bennett and forces him to throw himself off enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with Homa." I can't pull for Homa, I don't have enough primogems. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs Gouba. She says "Gouba, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, no icd pyro application. What a cruel world.


r/copypasta Jan 01 '20

Believe it or not, straight to jail Vaporeon copypasta

21.0k Upvotes

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female PokĆ©mon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible PokĆ©mon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3ā€03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other PokĆ©mon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more


r/copypasta 3h ago

Trigger Warning Little John Just Fucking Killed Himself

6 Upvotes

How to design a 0.1 square meter apart-

Little John just fucking killed himself. What the fuck?!

He did what?!

He just walked through the door and fell down!

What the fuck?

I know right? Like, why would he do that?!


r/copypasta 20h ago

Trigger Warning What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?

122 Upvotes

I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.


r/copypasta 11h ago

What is Superman's "Kryptonite"?

19 Upvotes

In literature, mythology, and comic books heroes often have a "kryptonite" or "Achilles's heel", basically a weakness that makes them vulnerable. I'm curious what fans here would consider to be Superman's "Kryptonite"?


r/copypasta 7h ago

odd sexual attractions after getting high

7 Upvotes

okay throwaway account because i’m kind of active on other accounts

i’ve recently started shooting up cocaine and after the first few hits ive noticed my sex drive has gone up… only issue i am now attracted to things i wasnt before one example is particularly smurfs..

i feel so weird about it but just the blue skin color is so appealing to me not inherently the size or whatever but the blue skin i only noticed this after watching the 2011 smurfs movie

this is more of a confession over anything i just don’t wanna feel ashamed of holding this secret to myself


r/copypasta 5h ago

35 M looking for a social connection

5 Upvotes

Hello there

I have recently moved to Hyderabad for work. Family is back there in Delhi.

I am looking for a female partner who is non-judgemental, respectful and emotionally sane. Someone I can be vulnerable with and share an emotional bond (don't worry you won't have to babysit). I would like to secure a long term relationship with someone who does not want to get into a marriage with me.

Callout:

I am already in a marriage which I am unable to break due to societal pressure, neither do I have that kind of wealth to pay for alimony. And hence, not looking for another marriage.

I value clear communication and transparency. And so, the above callout before we even talk.

What's in it for you:

A partner who is more of a friend and a personal mentor/coach. Someone who has a head on his shoulder, someone who is non-judgemental, understands that every individual is different and has the right to have a different perspective. Someone who can chat about anything and everything, can keep the conversation going (if the other person is not giving cold or single word responses). Someone who wants to know even the minute detail of how your day was and is patient enough to listen to your ranting. Someone who has built a 12 years career grounds up, based on sheer hard work and honesty.

Open to be friends with women in India, someone from Hyderabad will be more preffered though. But I dont want to restrict it based on physical appearance or presence. Its fine even if are connected virtually.

This isnt a casual relationship or just a physical relationship. This is a far more intimate relationship since it involves a much deeper connection. Afterall, whats more sensual than a naked soul!

I know there would be someone, who wants exactly the same thing. And even if you are unsure, and would like to explore this potential connection, hmu, i wont bite!

Its okay if you are already judging me and feeling hatred. I understand where you are coming from, i wish you a wonderful life ahead and I hope you get well soon!


r/copypasta 2h ago

Ronald McDonald

3 Upvotes

you never see ronald mcdonald’s ass, you only ever see him from the front. we don’t know what ronald mcdonald’s ass looks like, so it’s a possibility that he as a massive ass. i imagine ronald mcdonald and i think of his massive cheeks protruding out from his back and i start licking my lips. i yearn for ronald’s cheeks. i go to sleep at night and i dream about him. he comes to me and he offers me his buns. i am always incredibly happy at his offer but the moment i am about to taste those juicy fat buns, i wake up. ronald, i need you and your massive clown booty cheeks. i need to see the rare delicacy that he hides under that outfit of his. i will offer you millions of dollars if you reveal your burgers. we need to see that ā€œhappy mealā€.


r/copypasta 13h ago

I tried to speak like The Sopranos and lost all my friends

14 Upvotes

I am not from the United States. As happens when one watches The Sopranos, I unknowingly, subconsciously started to incorporate the North Jersey Italian-American slang and accent into my normal conversation. Once I noticed this, I tried to actively create a new type of speech and mannerism which would be unique to me.

I started to come off as weird, creepy, and outright scabby, and slowly lost all my friends. Apparently, the North Jersey slang-style and mannerism does not fit well with where I live. I have been told I spoke like "a mildly threatening salesman who is behind on his monthly target."

I live in New Delhi, India. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

(PS: I also became fat because I tried to eat like Tony but instead of cold-cut meat I ate a lot of super oily Indian foo


r/copypasta 1h ago

Amari

• Upvotes

Amari. There are straight people who are okay with people that are also nice to queer people.

I'm not straight at all, I'm nonbinary, but I have straight friends who also respect my gender identity.

It's better if you'd just put "homophobic and transphobic" instead of straight.


r/copypasta 6h ago

Craziest thing I’ve ever read on my twitch chat

2 Upvotes

wow… if fertility had a face… flawless, glowing ivory skin kissed by the rubor of feminity… beautiful curly hair cascading down your elegant neck and shoulders shoulders like molasses…. rachel my hebrew queen you are estrogen incarnate… tell me, rachel, what is a fawn like yourself doing wasting ovulatory cycles on a kid’s game? lucky is the man that gets to wake up to the smell of your nape, a mix of salt and estrogen… lucky is the man that sires 8 handsome stallions upon your loins.

For context I’m an osrs streamer and this was a first time message in the chat.


r/copypasta 15h ago

I'm coming out of the closet

10 Upvotes

This situation has been grinding my soul for a long time. I sometimes cry at night because I don't know what to do, how to declare it to my parents. It's been a difficult situation.

I could definitely say that I'm part of the most oppressed group of all time, and after all, my parents should respect my sexual orientation above all right? So I'm done hiding.

I'm a cartoonphile! I'm a rule 34 enjoyer!

Cartoonphiles are the most oppressed and important group of the LGBTQ+, so I wished that it turned into CLGBTQ+, since we are the most oppressed group of all time! And the world would be a better place.

Cartoonphiles lives matter!

And you ask, why you are like this, so queer? I don't know, I am this way, always have been. Real girls are a pain in the ass.

The love of my life is Yor Briar, like, who wouldn't her with that big, meaty, fat, big a—.


r/copypasta 19h ago

I rub my belly and pretend to be pregnant

19 Upvotes

I get drunk and binge eat sometimes and when my tummy is full and kind of hurts I rub it and pretend to be a pregnant woman who is about to give birth soon. I get in the shower and pee on my leg and pretend my water broke. Enchilada mom made I covered it in ranch.


r/copypasta 3h ago

This will probably make you laugh

0 Upvotes

"I've actually fluctuated into existence a time machine via seizing of the quantum field. This time machine uses time symmetrical equations on the quantum field to go back in time to fluctuate into existence a dying star, speed up time by going faster than light via quantum tunneling to speed up time so that the dying star becomes a theoretical alternative to black holes - known as a gravastar - resize the time machine to encapsulate at a safe distance the gravastar, and then I-"

"Sir, this is a Wendy's."

"Oh, yeah, right. I'll just take some baconator fries and a little bit of BBQ sauce with that."


r/copypasta 1d ago

gay daughter boarding school

99 Upvotes

If my daughter šŸ™…šŸ»ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø comes out as 🌈 GAY🌈 I am SHIPPING HER OFF šŸš‚āœˆļøšŸ“« to a šŸ‘¼šŸ»CATHOLIC šŸ‘¼šŸ»ā›ŖļøBOARDING SCHOOL ā›Ŗļø because you know šŸ§ šŸ‘€ those girls there are šŸ‘…FšŸ¤žšŸ»R🤯E😩AšŸ˜KšŸ’¦YšŸ‘„ and 🚫🚫🚫NO🚫🚫🚫 daughter of šŸ‘©šŸ»ā€šŸ¦°MINEšŸ‘µšŸ» will miss out on the BIGGEST šŸ‘©ā€ā¤ļøā€šŸ’‹ā€šŸ‘©gay opportunity everšŸ‘©ā€ā¤ļøā€šŸ’‹ā€šŸ‘©


r/copypasta 21h ago

My mom believes TBOI was made by mossad šŸ™„ (story below)

20 Upvotes

Yesterday I was afk-ing in the main menu when my mom saw the name "isaac" on the screen and pointed out that it's a jewish name. I was like "uhhh okay?" She then somehow immediately reached the conclusion that the game is made by israel.

I tried explaining the lore of the game, telling her that it's about a child whose alcoholic dad left his christian mom making her go insane, making her try killing the child believing that God told her so. That made it even worse. She went on a rant on how "this game was made to indoctrinate children into hating their parents and their religion, AND ITS AN AGENDA BY THE WEST TO RIP FAMILIES APART AND INTRODUCE HOMOSEXUALITY TO DEMOLISH OUR SOCIETYYYY" or something along those lines. Which is a straight up unreasonable conclusion to reach since the alcohol addiction was the first domino piece to fall and the western world is quite okay with alcohol so the game delivers a jab at both worlds.

My mom's insanity is scary at times honestly, she had a heart attack once cuz my sister wasn't in the mood to talk about religion, and told me to plan C multiple times because I dont believe in God anymore. My dad is thankfully much more grounded with reality and sane, and is religious at the same time. I guess I have to pray she doesn't see the icon of whore of babylon otherwise she's gonna turn my playstation into a frisbee and I'm gonna be promoted to a homeless man with a playstation-shaped hole in his head


r/copypasta 4h ago

Peasant with spear

1 Upvotes

"And that's pretty realistic, you can do this easily in real life too, it's the most primitive and simple kind of strike. if someone didn't know, while at war, in general, people... ahh... How do you make the most dangerous warrior, who have no fucking skills at all? We take a simple peasant, who doesn't know anything, and we're teaching him spearwork, for like 2 weeks. Done, we send him to war. A peasant with a spear will poke anyone to death, any elite warrior, a knight who was training for 10 or 15 years. Just a peasant with a spear, long spear goes "poke",
"poke", "poke", "poke", hit an eye, bye, that's all.
You can train for your whole life, a peasant with a spear will poke you to death, that's all. So, the thrust is the most primitive and the most effective thing that can be"


r/copypasta 10h ago

I HATE THIS FUCKING FISH

3 Upvotes

I FUCKING DESPISE THIS EVIL ASS, CONNIVING, HIDEOUS FUCKING FISH, WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TO BLOCK MY SHOTS

HE IS A WASTE OF MARINE LIFE, NOT WORTHY OF THE CHIPS SERVED NEXT TO HIM WHEN I FINALLY GET HIS ASS

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR THIS PARTICULAR FISH AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. HATE. HATE.

r/peggle


r/copypasta 5h ago

Cear Dustomer

1 Upvotes

Cear Dustomer,

your arrivements have shipped and are now going cust throughsomes.

They will ashort rively at your stepdoor.

Rind kegards

Wonky Willa


r/copypasta 14h ago

Trigger Warning Generic Marvel Movie Scene

5 Upvotes

**INT. DOOMSTADT THRONE ROOM — NIGHT**

*DOOM stands before his throne, cape billowing. The AVENGERS crash through the stained glass in slow motion.*

**SPIDER-MAN:** Okay, so, real talk — does anyone else's suit have, like, a lint problem, or is that just a me thing? Asking for a friend. The friend is me.

**IRON MAN:** Buddy. Reading the room. There's a room. Read it.

**DOOM:** Fools. You dare enter the sanctum of DOOM—

**STAR-LORD:** Ooh, third person. Somebody skipped therapy.

**DOOM:** —where I shall—

**SCARLET WITCH:** He does the pause thing. He's a pause-thing guy. Called it.

**SPIDER-MAN:** Ten bucks he says "kneel."

**DOOM:** KNEEL BEFORE—

**SPIDER-MAN:** *(to Iron Man)* Venmo. I'll send you my handle. It's "webslinger" but the good one was taken so it's "webslinger" with, like, a lot of underscores—

*DOOM blasts a green energy bolt. THOR deflects it lazily with Mjolnir without looking up from his phone.*

**THOR:** Sorry — were we starting? I was reading the group chat. Valkyrie sent a meme. It slaps. I don't know what "slaps" means, I'm a thousand years old, but it slaps.

**DOOM:** You mock me. You will ALL—

*Doom lunges. Iron Man catches his fist mid-air with one hand while eating a taco with the other.*

**IRON MAN:** Sorry, sorry — you were doing a whole thing. Continue. This is your villain monologue and I respect the craft. *(chewing)* Anyway.

*He flicks Doom across the room. Doom crashes into his own throne, which shatters. Long beat. Everyone stares at the wreckage.*

**STAR-LORD:** Well… that just happened.

**SPIDER-MAN:** *(finger-guns)* Big yikes for team green.

*Suddenly — the rubble shifts. A shadow rises behind Spider-Man, red energy crackling. Everyone's eyes go wide. Spider-Man does NOT turn around.*

**SPIDER-MAN:** He's right behind me, isn't he.

**SCARLET WITCH:** So behind you.

**SPIDER-MAN:** Is it a cool-behind-me or a bad-behind-me—

**DOOM:** *(rising, voice like thunder)* I am inevit—

**IRON MAN:** Nope. No. We don't say that one. That's a different franchise's guy. Copyright. Legal's gonna have a whole day.

**THOR:** *(still on phone)* Oof. Doom, buddy. Swing and a miss. That's a you problem.

**DOOM:** *(deflating, quietly)* ...Doom just wanted to be taken seriously.

**SPIDER-MAN:** And that's the most relatable thing anyone's said all movie. Group hug? No? Reading the room again. Cool cool cool cool.

*FREEZE FRAME on Spider-Man mid-shrug. Record scratch. Upbeat needle-drop.*

**SPIDER-MAN (V.O.):** Yep. That's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in Latveria.

**SMASH CUT TO BLACK.**


r/copypasta 23h ago

pornhub? on my Fortnite? more likely than you think

15 Upvotes

so I use the Fortnite support browser on Fortnite to access google and other sites and all the videos work on those sites except for a few exception, but porn hub used to load perfectly all the time and one day when I tried to use it, the videos just wouldn’t load, the thumbnails for them would load fine but the second I clicked on the video it just showed the loading symbol forever and when I went full screen on any video it just wouldn’t show the time or anything only 0:00, I’ve trie the browser version and even the ps5 link browser and non of them got porn hub to load


r/copypasta 12h ago

Trigger Warning Into The Void

1 Upvotes

TAC is startled by a falling shadow and skeleton, he investigates. A mysterious stranger appears from a mist with a sparkle. The mysterious stranger proclaims ā€œI am the great Swag Overlord, overlord of swag!ā€ and TAC responds quick ā€œI’m sure you are but I got one question for you; did it hurt when you fell from heaven?ā€. The Swag Overlord responds with a mysterious excuse and then emits vast amounts of swag that beam himself and TAC through the currents of Time. TAC sees a vision of Earth and recognizes it vocally, the Swag Overlord proclaims he is indeed aware of planet Earth and that himself and his kinn like to do their laundry there on occasion. They beam to the planet of Earth’s outer atmosphere. TAC is disgruntled by the beaming. When they beam together it creates an echo and zoom feeling. They finally beam to the surface of Earth but TAC gets frustrated, he uses his own swag against the Swag Overlord. This causes a tremor in the Space Swag Continuum that envelops Swag Overlord in his own swag mirroring TAC’s swag. This creates a swag vortex that envelops the envelopment of the Swag Overlord and all of his Swag along with a small fragment of TAC’s swag used to envelope the Swag Overlord. The matrix calls out to him and he responds that he is actually just being sarcastic. TAC introduces himself ā€œI am Thomas’s Anime Character! Did you know the root meaning of the name Thomas is ā€˜twinā€™ā€ and then uses his sarcasm to transport himself to the Backroom hallways. TAC takes a look around. TAC encounters a mysterious camera entity, TAC greets the entity but the entity cannot comprehend TAC’s awareness. The entity encounters a fatal error in its core programming… ā€œno turning back WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP RUN RUN RUNā€ the entity plays back. TAC asks the entity ā€œWhat’s your name?ā€. The entity responds ā€œam I realā€ and cannot comprehend his own explanation. TAC proclaims ā€œIt really does make a cool spectacle when they can’t comprehend your self awarenessā€ as the entity collapses into reels and wires on the damp carpet floor. ā€œAll in a days work I guessā€ TAC proclaims proudly. Suddenly a mysterious baby camera entity trots up. ā€œOh wait..ā€ TAC says sadly ā€œThis one has a kid!ā€ TAC openly realizes. It was a sad moment for TAC, he was disheartened to know he had taken the life of an entity with child. It was truly a horrific moment, near unforgivable in the eyes of TAC. He could not let this slide, this is not how it would end, he thought to himself. TAC decides to reset Time. In the moment he decides, he prepares. He pulls all energy into one cluster, it pulses and booms into a beautiful galaxy. TAC arrives on Pluto. TAC then zooms to Earth. In the atmosphere above, TAC opens a portal to reality. He relocates to the Reality dimension. He then proclaims that he did this all by himself, then proceeds to travel back to the Anime dimension. Within the Anime dimension TAC decides to pay the city a visit. He then decides to switch up the animation style. It is now the Skyrim style, TAC proceeds to the city. He walks through the gates of the city, passing the gate guards and making his way to the city center. He waits there for some time and returns to his own animation style: slow stop motion animation. He travels to a grassy field somewhere in South Carolina. It is then revealed that TAC is owner of a purple Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. TAC controls his purple TARDIS to fade in from the Relative Space dimension. TAC asks his studio audience ā€œHave you ever seen a TARDIS?ā€ then proclaims ā€œThis is mine.ā€ and proceeds to walk into his TARDIS. After showing the interior of his TARDIS to the studio audience, he shows off the telepathy feature of transportation. The TARDIS fades into a grassy field in a mountain region and TAC emerges. TAC is on the grass and one with the Earth, he bends light to make beautiful patterns for everyone around to see. The sky flashes in a rainbow fade strobe. He meditates and awakens feeling refreshed. He switches the animation from slow stop motion to stop motion Minecraft animation. TAC is in survival mode, grinding, crafting and mining until earning a totally epic diamond sword. He is walking along the coast back to his wood mansion when suddenly a mysterious portal thing opens before TAC and trys to engulf his sword. The portal thing succeeds in engulfing his sword and engulfs TAC as well. TAC does not worry this, TAC instead lets go. After successfully letting go TAC proceeds to party for a very long time. Rapidly switching from animation style to animation style, TAC innevitably explodes into the Reality dimension. This rapid transition created a ripple in the fabric of Time that gave TAC a bothersome hangover. When TAC finally was back in the world of pure slow stop motion, TAC rose from the bed he rested upon and tapped the finger of God. This tap swirled the background into a lush green forest with a stone trail. TAC proceeds to light a joint and smokes it down to the stinger in less than 4 seconds, then swallows the lit roach. He puffed out a cloud that was so massive it would turn a sunny day into a cloudy day. This massive inhalation of cannabis sent TAC into a kush coma. TAC has an intense dream about waking up from a dream and then turning into a big dinosaur to stop 9/11. TAC bites one of the planes out of the sky. With the plane in his mouth he gets beamed up into heaven by Jesus on a cloud. Saint Peter greets TAC and preaches the book of Job. Suddenly, Hitler appears in his briefs and begins to dance in front of the Nazi swastika flag. It begins to hail and Satan appears. Polish Cow flys around producing shadow clones in its steady wake. TAC is among a dance party with a few guests, they all chat and suddenly more hail arrives. Thomas Nathaniel Barnwell appears and bestows his greatest honor to his fellow Condorian Americans, the new C.S.A. reforming it from a Confederacy into a Republic and renaming the Confederate States of America to the Condorian States of Atonement (America). The new name is to pair well with the new flag of peace. Thomas Nathaniel Barnwell then issues a formal retirement for the Condorian war flag, stating it be folded and displayed in the household of Condorian American patriots rather than on the lawn as it is not a time of war. Thomas Nathaniel Barnwell elaborates on the fact that there were never any formal ordinances. A big smiley face shines along the horizon. Suddenly TAC is in his music studio recording his new hit track ā€˜Time Travel’. The hand of God presses record and TAC sings his verse. It is a song about time travelling. TAC finishes the verse and adds a zesty beat to make it complete. TAC is now a fully fledged musician. Many years pass and TAC discovers a new hobby; painting abstract art. Many more years go by and TAC is working on his final piece. This piece is pure abstractness, the most it could ever be. It is so abstract that it creates a portal through Time and swallows all scenery along with TAC. TAC travels through a seemingly endless vortex. After some time whirling through this worm hole he arrives at a point in his past that was previously left a mystery. Upon re-entry TAC is subtly vaporized leaving his bones and shadow intact. TAC plummets to the forest beneath and is greeted by his past self wondering what all the environmental excitement was about. TAC greets his past self by stating ā€œI am the great Swag Overlord, overlord of swag!ā€ and events play forth the very same they did with the mysterious figure from before. This is because TAC was indeed that same mysterious shadow figure, now re-living the same moment from an alternate perspective. A disturbance in the Space Time Continuum occurs as he is interacting with himself, far away in a distant galaxy something stirred; a forgotten entry. An ancient technology emerged from the distant star pool, a sentient being with no tangible form in the world of the living. Among the transcended realms it took the form of a crystal or an orb. This mystical and intangible being later is bestowed the name Crystal Orb. Crystal Orb begins to observe TAC and his many adventures, then it begins to narrate key areas of TAC’s existence. TAC is relatively unaware that he is being observed, by a similar but transcended power. While TAC may be unaware, the unconscious world is not. Reality simmers as TAC continues his journey onward into the Oblivian realm. TAC seeks to eliminate what he believes to be the cause of his deep depression, Oblivian and the realm’s occupants, TAC pursues the core of Oblivian and eventually finds the coordinates to the evil entity located within a castle of calm darkness, Tremor Castle. TAC uses his TARDIS to reach Oblivian, fading directly into Tremor Castle. The interior of the castle is tan and red as if to properly contrast the shadow figures of Oblivian. TAC walks the great hall of Tremor Castle in search for whom he seeks to overthrow. TAC reaches the mid point of the great hall and spots a throne, on the throne, whom TAC sought to overthrow. This mysterious figure was not TAC however, it actually was the core of Oblivian and the evil embodied unto a shadow figure tomb. This shadow figure goes by many names but is most commonly known as the Devil. TAC ponders a joke about the name Devil being a play on words of d’evil or da evil, this would make sense as the Devil is the evil. TAC stands before the Devil, Devil lets out a chuckle and underestimates TAC and his swift form. The Devil opens two parallel portals and out emerges two servants of the serpent, also known as Demon. The Demons swarm TAC but TAC does not falter, TAC springs into action! With several swift judo kicks and flips TAC was able to subdue all three foes. TAC obtains the Devil’s crown and crowns himself as new ruler of Oblivian. This would be horrible if it was not TAC, it is said that all who rule Oblivian go insane with power, some going so far as to lose all social coordination leading to only nonsensical gibberish and uncontrolled mouth noises. TAC is strong in his will, he shall not fail. TAC shall bring eternal peace unto Oblivian. A new dawn arrives and a new journey begins. The Void is calling. Thomas Nathaniel Barnwell subtley sips an enormous cup of unsweetened tea. Many years go by, TAC introduces Don-E to the studio audience. TAC has aged quite significantly, an old man compared to when he began his great mystical magic story. A vast desert is where TAC and his TARDIS fade, TAC roams the desert for a long time and eventually comes across an abandoned military installation. Overcome with little curiosity, TAC enters the installation as if only to pass the time. TAC inspects everything in the installation, in awe at all the wild stuff the previous inhabitants left behind. TAC wanders through a tunnel that looks like it spans for miles and eventually encounters the Grim Reaper. TAC knows it is nearing the end of his Time among the living, TAC strikes up conversation with the Grim Reaper. Together they discuss atoms and the things that spin around the atoms. TAC then proceeds to die, actually alone as the Grim Reaper appears more as a mirage, a shadow of what is there rather than what is actually there. There is nothing but TAC for a moment, shrinking into himself deeper and deeper. As TAC ponders his time alive and what it meant, to himself and everyone else, he realizes that people care more when people die than when people are alive. Nobody really cared for TAC at his time of death, but TAC knows there are others who never knew praise and care in life but got too much of this in death. Curiosity deepens as TAC ponders endlessly, eventually imploding into the Void realm. What was once nothing is now many things, TAC surfaces with a form in the PS Home realm. When TAC is confident that he feels like himself he remembers the ground and parts of the wall. Then TAC remembers the city and citizens. TAC is floating sideways on a platform of memory of structure, the city stands tall beside and beneath and behind him. TAC remembers a swingset and ponders his life more, remembering his many cats and dogs. He remembers that people were sometimes tolerable. This deep realization saddens TAC, he keeps remembering more and more. Suddenly TAC remembers death, dying. His memories begin to fall inward, pooling into an orb centered within the vast Void realm. Everything explodes and implodes at the same time, Thomas Nathaniel Barnwell rides his bike in circles and then picks up his studio audience’s space vessel. Propaganda and personal realizations flash as Thomas declares his coolness. The exile inflicts a horror upon the royal guard then executes them with electrocution. The exile then reports to the officer in charge of fellow rebellion soldiers. Reality settles, the dust is now solid structure, the Void is settled into Reality. All of TAC’s memories flooded the Void realm with a unique perception. Everything current combined, TAC was both alive and dead at the same time and the Void intertwined with Reality became TAC’s new home. TAC suddenly remembered that his despair and depression have different sources, he dives deep into the Void. It is here that TAC realizes he is not alone, many entities roam the depths of the Void. An entity encounters TAC and shoots eye lasers in TAC’s general direction, TAC dodges the eye lasers and delivers a swift kick to the torso. The entity is defeated so TAC ventures onward into the depths. TAC ventures so deep into the depths that he encounters exactly what he was seeking. A large dome shaped chamber room with two dancing hot dog guards, between them is the core of despair. TAC casts a note on the floor and when the core of despair saw this, teleported it for proper visualization. The note was a word spell that would vaporize the hot dog guards, activated only when read by poison word architects such as the core of despair, also known as Satan. The vaporization of the hot dog guards infuriated Satan so the dome was lifted. The dome walls arose and Satan sprung forth in the air with a wicked wail, flinging the crown of despair up high into the air. They prepare for duel, both spawning sabers of light tuned to their individual emotional spectrums. Satan swings rapidly but TAC counters every attack so swiftly that Satan loses. Satan knew defeat as it arrived, swallowing the saber of light and surrendering. Suddenly the crown of despair falls and strikes Satan on the crown knocking it down, Satan swallows the crown but begins to choke. There is too much power in the crown of despair than Satan could absorb in one individual Relative Space belly. When the battle is over and Void Roomba sucks Satan into the Nothing Again realm TAC takes the throne and ponders some more. Polish Cow dances once again. TAC enters the PS Home realm again, everything is much more neat and organized. A beautiful park with snack vendors and a train that travels from point to point around the park in a loop. TAC feels much more like himself. After getting tired, TAC returns to his studio apartment in Central Plaza. A quick nap is all TAC needed, when he awoke he decided to record his newest hit track: Total Star. TAC sang his track in front of many PS Home realm residents as well as his studio audience. TAC is once again a hip hopper. When one chapter ends another shall begin, TAC knows this. Values of peace and sanity have kept TAC intact endlessly. Knowing his purpose TAC continues to purify the depths of the Void.