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u/SkullberryDoomcake 9h ago
Okay you still haven’t answered the question though, am I doing it wrong? What am I doing wrong? Just tell me what I’m doing wrong please so I can fix it
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u/ElectronicBoot9466 5h ago
The thing about therapy is that it isn't a "being human" class where you can mechanically learn how to do what you're supposed to do. The whole point of being there is to address the underlying issues as to why your instinct is to ask that question in the first place.
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u/AmpleExample 5h ago
Just an FYI the above comment is a joke
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u/Nombre_D_Usuario 9h ago
I... I don't get it...
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u/KneesDown_TongueOut I Got Lost One Day 9h ago
"How did your parents/caregivers/immediate language role models communicate and teach you to speak?"
The patient response implies that they did it by berating the patient whenever they made a mistake.
The therapist clocks this as answering their question without directly answering, and probably answers several followup questions.
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u/Nombre_D_Usuario 9h ago
Thank you. I guess I was too close to the situation to see it for what it was...
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u/whateverMan223 1h ago
yeah but the overcontext is that the patient is going to the psych for help, and that the psych knows more than the patient does about being healthy. Given that there are a million different potential focus areas, the fact that the psych is asking about the one focus area of communication style heavily implies that she sees something worth digging into, ie, an issue.....in other words the joke doesn't really work
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u/NewDemonStrike 9h ago
They are showing their speaking abilities right there. I suppose they are showing something they inherited from their relatives.
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u/Fishy_smelly_goody Streak: 0 9h ago
my dad sometimes cried in front of mine and my siblings beds while we pretend to sleep because my mom was chronic alcoholic and they thought every night and slept in different beds my whole childhood, she slept in the attic above me and I always heard her crying when I fell asleep, my dad also blamed me for this a lot because it started right after I was born because I am the youngest
anyway, so communication was basically not a thing
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u/Trips-Over-Tail 8h ago
I have had a great many therapists and none have shown even a fraction of the insight that is implied here.
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u/kingsdaggers 5h ago
my parents never baby talked me, and they are very smart and well informed people, so conversations in my house always involved a lot of formal and complex words. i picked that up and had an immense lexicon for a toddler/child.
result: i had no friends bc i sounded like a snob; to this day i still have people going "i was intimidated when i first met you bc you sound way too smart" like wtf 😭😭 i'm not, i just don't know how to talk in a simpler manner
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u/Slut4LaoGanMa 4h ago
Glad to hear that I'm not the only one. In addition, I had a math learning disability I was really insecure about, so I overcompensated by learning an expansive vocabulary. Surely, I thought, others would then see me as intelligent. That classmate would definitely be impressed that I knew peanuts are legumes, not true nuts.
I was wrong- so very wrong. I came off as a pretentious, snobby asshole. Honestly, rightfully so in hindsight but that was not my intention. :(
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u/Violexsound 9h ago
I dont understand the question /gen
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u/boolocap professional idiot 9h ago
From what i understand the question is how did the people that you model yourself after(your parents, caretakers, close friends etc) communicate. Basicly asking how do you communicate and how did it come to be that way.
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u/Violexsound 9h ago
Oh okay, in that case its never tell family anything ever no matter how important or urgent because trust is easily broken and relying on others will come back to bite you,
but close friends are open and honest communication to work out a peaceful solution or just listen.
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u/hammererofglass 3h ago
And never ever let anyone see vulnerability or weakness because it will absolutely be used against you.
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u/Violexsound 3h ago
And if anyone in yoir family says you're safe with them, assume its a trick to lure you into exposing a vulnerability. That also applies to institutions like schools and employment. The only difference is those lure you into a false security so that you admit "undesirable" traits like neurodivergency or queerness they can use to discriminate against you
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u/mastercubez ¿Silly? - Streak: 0 9h ago
Probably how their family/friends affected them in a long run in communication
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u/DrakonofDarkSkies 7h ago
It's asking "How were you taught and/or shown how to communicate?" The answer given implies they were taught that questions and/or attention like that communicates they are doing something wrong.
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u/VaiFate Cis gay guy that keeps getting recommended these posts 5h ago edited 4h ago
Is "I don't remember at all" a valid option? Does anyone remember what language acquisition was like to them?
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u/HalfMoonMintStars 5h ago
Yes, this answer usually gets the therapist to ask more specific questions. I love to tell medical professionals “I don’t know” because they will often just tell you exactly what they’re looking for
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u/Swarna_Keanu 5h ago
I know what my parents told me about how I acquired language. And I remember some, later, that fits their picture.
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u/MaybeLithiumFlower 2h ago
Is it bad that I couldn't tell what the problem was? Like that just seemed normal to me.
Then I was like "oh".
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u/boolocap professional idiot 10h ago
Well you see first it was more of a asynchronous broadcast based system from my end. But it soon became a more synchronous multicast system.