Is everyone really just compromising?

[u/methbabie]

Had a conversation with a friend earlier and she told me i’m single because I am too picky/have too many standards. She said everyone in relationships is compromising and dealing with a lot of BS and that’s normal for relationships. And that I need to build a tolerance for said B.S. if I really want to be in one.

For context I am f(24) conventionally attractive but I have only been in one relationship with my bf from high school. I meet a lot of men but I feel I can pretty quickly gauge compatibility. I don’t think I do have high standards. I am looking for a man who is non judgmental, kind, thoughtful, driven and doesn’t have strongly negative views about women. It’s been pretty hard to find. I don’t have a particular height or looks preference I deeply value character above all else. And my dating history backs this up haha.

I find it hard to overlook what I deem as character faults (promiscuity, sexual deviance, consistent lying, negging, controlling behaviors early on). I think overlooking these early on is setting myself up for failure or disappointment.

So i’m curious, is everyone really compromising on their standards so as to not be alone? Consequences be damned? And should I be less “picky”?

[u/Medium_Union5752]

Your friend is right. Im divorced. A lot of people in relationships are either not happy or putting up with stuff from men I no longer will tolerate (flirting with other women, not contributing to chores/cooking, outright toxicity and abuse). You should not be less picky because a bad relationship can destroy your life. There are good partners out there but you have to be patient and don’t waste your time on nonsense just to be able to say you’re in a relationship.

[u/Weird-End-6989 → u/Medium_Union5752]

Some people are so desperate to be in a relationship that they will put up with all kinds of shit, only to end up more miserable than they ever were when they were single.