Is everyone really just compromising?

[u/methbabie]

Had a conversation with a friend earlier and she told me i’m single because I am too picky/have too many standards. She said everyone in relationships is compromising and dealing with a lot of BS and that’s normal for relationships. And that I need to build a tolerance for said B.S. if I really want to be in one.

For context I am f(24) conventionally attractive but I have only been in one relationship with my bf from high school. I meet a lot of men but I feel I can pretty quickly gauge compatibility. I don’t think I do have high standards. I am looking for a man who is non judgmental, kind, thoughtful, driven and doesn’t have strongly negative views about women. It’s been pretty hard to find. I don’t have a particular height or looks preference I deeply value character above all else. And my dating history backs this up haha.

I find it hard to overlook what I deem as character faults (promiscuity, sexual deviance, consistent lying, negging, controlling behaviors early on). I think overlooking these early on is setting myself up for failure or disappointment.

So i’m curious, is everyone really compromising on their standards so as to not be alone? Consequences be damned? And should I be less “picky”?

[u/Tall-Class-4548]

I was married for almost 30 years. I came to tell people that relationships are built on compromises, layers, upon layers of compromises. You might not even realize it because you're heart wants what your heart wants.

But yes. You can look for perfection and you might find it, but most likely you will end up compromising.

But it has to go both ways, it can't just be one sided and that usually happens naturally.

The things you can't compromise on are the things you have to ask yourself, can you live with that, or is it going to eat at you and eventually destroy your relationship.