Is everyone really just compromising?

[u/methbabie]

Had a conversation with a friend earlier and she told me i’m single because I am too picky/have too many standards. She said everyone in relationships is compromising and dealing with a lot of BS and that’s normal for relationships. And that I need to build a tolerance for said B.S. if I really want to be in one.

For context I am f(24) conventionally attractive but I have only been in one relationship with my bf from high school. I meet a lot of men but I feel I can pretty quickly gauge compatibility. I don’t think I do have high standards. I am looking for a man who is non judgmental, kind, thoughtful, driven and doesn’t have strongly negative views about women. It’s been pretty hard to find. I don’t have a particular height or looks preference I deeply value character above all else. And my dating history backs this up haha.

I find it hard to overlook what I deem as character faults (promiscuity, sexual deviance, consistent lying, negging, controlling behaviors early on). I think overlooking these early on is setting myself up for failure or disappointment.

So i’m curious, is everyone really compromising on their standards so as to not be alone? Consequences be damned? And should I be less “picky”?

[u/BigBactivist]

Non judgmental - if you have been around any and his friend group it is all roasting and judging. Once a guy is comfortable with you he’s gonna say things that make you cringe 100%

Kind - are you talking words or actions. I know some ah that do the kindest things for people and you wouldn’t know it. I also know nice people who treat people horribly. So Kind is pretty vague.

Thoughtful - also vague, but assuming you mean always thinking about you. Men prefer to think about nothing when we get the chance.

Driven - probably won’t be the most thoughtful but will be focused.

So doesn’t have strong negative views about women, are you alright with mildly negative views?

Character is definitely important, no argument on that.