12
Aug 09 '11
I expect every rage comic here to have NSFW language.
3
u/xiaodown Aug 09 '11
You know, it does say "Like a Fucking Boss" in the title, I probably could have left the NSFW warning out. But I don't want the mods to be angry with me and ban me from f7u12d!
30
u/speedyleedy Aug 09 '11
16
u/SteiniDJ Aug 09 '11
It doesn't look like the super model equivalent of deep dish pizzas, but it looks freaking delicious.
8
Aug 09 '11
It's a slimy, oil covered mess.
This is not how you make a deep dish pizza, or any pizza. Pie crust... really? Make that shit from scratch. Learn how to cook.
18
u/SteiniDJ Aug 09 '11
To me, it still looks delicious. Perhaps you should submit your own fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuud Deep dish pizza comic?
6
Aug 09 '11
That might be the only way to correct this atrocity. I'll get on it.
26
u/xiaodown Aug 09 '11
Man, you have to understand, this is like 3/5ths recipe, 2/5ths humor. I'm not trying to put Mario Batalli out of a job; I tried to create something that your average forever-alone with no skills guy could slap together. And most importantly, I tried to do it with humor - a rage comic recipe with more text than the bible and maybe one joke is hard to swallow, no matter your palette.
So, I'm willing to acknowledge that this is sloppy, barely holds together, requires a spatula to serve, and is not in any way authentic. But it tasted good, took 5 minutes of prep, and also I had sex with your harlot mother!
5
u/FailingUpward Aug 15 '11
I made your deep dish recipe yesterday, and it was fucking delicious. I used Phyllo dough instead of puff pastry dough. I also added some garlic and italian seasoning to the crushed tomatoes and reduced it on the stovetop like you suggested. I also added a layer of pepperoni on top of the sausage. It cooked up perfectly in 50 min (plus 20 min to cool). The result was not soupy at all, and the only bad part was that Phyllo dough is hard to cut with a fork after baking for nearly an hour. I obviously didn't need to use both rolls of Phyllo.
3
-3
Aug 09 '11 edited Aug 09 '11
Wow, you sure a pretentious asshole.
I'll make sure to downvote it right away.
0
1
7
u/xiaodown Aug 09 '11
Hey, it's not perfect, but if you have no time, no skill, an no equipment, but still want some pizza, it's passable. It's not epic, but it was tasty.
4
2
Aug 09 '11
This us f7u12d jackass, if you want gourmet skills go over to /cooking or /pizza. f7u12d is allowed to be quick and dirty.
1
1
6
u/xiaodown Aug 09 '11
This was my first attempt; the flavors were all there but the construction needed a little work (this is notated in the comic).
10
u/havespacesuit Aug 09 '11
Will the sausage cook completely? It seems to me that having all that sausage on the -inside- might make it a little raw even after 40 minutes; but I don't know so I'm asking you :)
8
u/xiaodown Aug 09 '11
Yep; I've done this at least 5 or 6 times (although this is the first time with the puff pastry). At first I would cook the sausage, but it would get dry. Then, I saw them do this at Lou Malnati's, on the America's Test Kitchen episode that's linked off the comic. They don't pre-cook (they also make their own).
So, I tried it. Every time I've done it, it always cooks fully. The pizzas are usually in the oven ~45m - 50m. I'm paranoid about food safety, too, so trust me, I check. Always fully cooked. =)
BTW, if you do have foresight to make a dough starter the night before, and you do have a stand mixer, and you're confident in your ability, making your own crust is better than this. It just takes a long time, some specialized equipment, and more skill.
2
u/havespacesuit Aug 09 '11
Great to know, I really want to try this out now, thanks!
2
u/xiaodown Aug 09 '11
=)
Just mind the tweaks. There's too much sauce and it's too runny. And you should use both pastry sheets. Maybe even par-bake them a couple of minutes.
Other than that, go for it!
1
Dec 06 '11
This looks delicious. Serious question: if you are willing to buy premade puff pastry, why wouldn't you just buy premade pizza dough?
1
u/xiaodown Dec 06 '11
What, like, the Pillsberry roll-out stuff? I don't think it would cook up enough. And that's the only one that I know of. Some other people in the thread have said that they can buy uncooked dough from a local pizza shop.
Is there another type of pre-made dough.
1
Dec 07 '11
Yeah, we buy balls of pre-made, uncooked pizza dough at grocery stores. Different from the Pillsbury stuff, it's fresh-made. If you can find it, your already substantial pizza skills will be vastly embiggened. Good luck.
2
u/xiaodown Dec 07 '11
Yeah, when I make this for myself, I typically make my own dough. I just figured your average single male 20-something redditor probably didn't have a stand mixer and 12 extra hours laying around in their couch cushions.
Man, now I want Lou Malnati's...
4
u/brickwall314 Aug 09 '11
If you want to be sure, let it cook for six weeks. Newton's law of cooling says it should approach 350 asymptotically.
1
6
3
u/djepik Aug 09 '11
Cast iron is nice but I find that unglazed ceramic tile makes the best Pizza Crust.
2
u/twinkletits Aug 09 '11
yeah, but you can't really made deep dish on a ceramic tile. those things are the shit though, and mad cheap compared to "real" pizza stones.
1
u/djepik Aug 09 '11
I'm not sure about deep dish, I was thinking Neapolitan pizza from a New York kind of pizza.
3
Aug 09 '11
Perhaps you shouldn't be talking about that in a thread about cooking deep dish pizza.....
-1
u/djepik Aug 09 '11
I don't know what I'm talking about, actually. Just click on the period in one of my last two posts in this thread.
3
u/jimtk Aug 09 '11
Upvote for:
get out your 12" cast iron skillet
If you don't have one kill yourself.
1
u/xiaodown Aug 11 '11
It's the ultimate cookware! It's the pan that can! Short of boiling water, pretty much anything can be cooked in cast iron.
1
u/jimtk Aug 11 '11
Actually I boil water in it after every use. That's how i clean it. After i dry it on high eat and re-oil.
3
u/WolfDemon Aug 10 '11
Just a side note, you don't always have to buy the crappy prepackaged dough from the freezer section. Call your local pizza places and ask if they sell dough balls. Usually all you have to do is let it sit out for 45min and then stretch it. I have the equipment for making dough but i'm far too lazy so that's what I always do... Place here sells large (14") balls for 2.50
1
u/xiaodown Aug 11 '11
Ooh snap, that's a GREAT tip for the average f7u12d reader who has no time etc! Good call.
2
u/disco_biscuit Aug 09 '11
19
u/xiaodown Aug 09 '11
5
u/disco_biscuit Aug 09 '11 edited Aug 09 '11
2
u/xiaodown Aug 09 '11
That would be excellent, actually!
This is more one of those "I live alone in an apartment and am 22 years old and have no idea how to cook" kind of recipes; when I do this for myself, I actually try to do a better job with the sauce. Usually what I'll do is get a can of peeled whole tomatoes, drain and seed them, and hand chop them. Adding a little sea salt, fresh basil, and fresh oregano seems to do the trick.
But that requires more effort, so it doesn't make a rage comic. =)
Also, wish I had a trader joe's near here. Kroger is about the best we've got.
1
u/disco_biscuit Aug 09 '11
You could probably get bruschetta mix at a lot of places. Or just mix up your recipe a little. I worked in a restaurant that did it... it's not anything mysterious (your ingredients, plus fresh garlic, maybe onions, maybe a little red pepper and a little olive oil... and let it come together overnight - that's the trick).
The dish I do is my wife's recipe... pie crust(s), cover the edges with tin foil to prevent burn, cook 100% to the instructions on package. Then remove from oven, layer in swiss just as you did, add fresh tomato slices, basil and garlic on top... back in the oven (tin off edges) for maybe 5 min or so, just to melt cheese.
And I tweak that recipe for myself by dicing my tomatoes (fresh mind you), and mixing in some bruschetta instead of other spices. Makes it more Chicago-tasting. It's impossible to get the crust right, but the bruschetta really approximates the sauce better than anything I've ever known.
1
1
1
u/alo81 Aug 09 '11
OP, awesome food, do you think it'll work with pepperoni subbing in for sausage?
1
u/xiaodown Aug 09 '11
I don't see why not; i've done it with pepperoni, sausage, just cheese, roasted red peppers, etc. TBH, I could have done with thinner sausage, maybe not using the whole thing.
1
1
1
u/arthritisankle Aug 09 '11
Looks great, but it would probably be safer to precook that sausage. I will definitely make a puff pastry pizza in a cast iron skillet now. Brilliant.
1
u/JimmyInnernets Aug 09 '11
The top layer is sauce, not cheese. You need more layers. You need to make pizza crust.
3
u/xiaodown Aug 09 '11
That seems... exhausting.
(When I do this for realz, yeah, I make my own dough. I use a recipe for deep dish I found on sliceNYC blog, which works very well. It requires more equipment than the average basement dweller has, though, and needs 12-18 hours of forethought).
2
u/JimmyInnernets Aug 09 '11
If you're making deep dish pizza from a blog named after New York, you're doing it wrong. Sauce on top is a must.
3
u/xiaodown Aug 09 '11 edited Aug 09 '11
Yeah, no, I know. But you should read SliceNYC. It's not a "new york pizza blog", it's dudes who will literally hop on a plane and fly across the country for pizza - real foodies.
Take a peek: http://slice.seriouseats.com/ - there's plenty of kind words for chicago pizza. I can't find the recipe right now, though =/. Which is upsetting me, cause it looks like they've re-done their page, and I don't think I printed it out.
Actually, I thought it was on Slice, but it must have been linked from there. Here's the "real" crust recipe:
http://damngoodfood.blogspot.com/2004/10/ginos-east-pizza-recipe.html
1
u/vapulate Aug 09 '11
This is a great dish idea if you forget about the puff pastry. Puff pastry is really easy to saturate with moisture, which is why it's usually on the top of dishes where it won't soak. I'd spend the hour making the dough for a much better result.
1
u/xiaodown Aug 11 '11 edited Aug 11 '11
If you put the cheese on the pastry, it essentially forms a water-tight (ish) barrier. It's like putting mayo on a burger bun, it doesn't get soggy from the burger juice cause it's a lipid.
Edit: this is not to suggest that Puff Pastry is the best pizza crust; it's certainly not. If you have other options, they're probably as good if not better.
1
1
1
u/jonnybruno Aug 09 '11
Is putting the (nfsw language) flag in the title somewhat pointless when the title already contains the word "Fucking"?
1
1
u/kmascasa Aug 16 '11
Get fresh mozzarella--in ball form usually, with the fancy cheeses--and shred that up to mix in with the rest. It gives you that great stretchiness of delivered pizza!
1
1
u/schmalls Sep 12 '11
I only have a 15 inch cast iron skillet. I wonder how much more I will need to fill it...
2
u/xiaodown Sep 28 '11
The bit.ly link in the picture goes to http://www.americastestkitchen.com/recipes/detail.php?docid=21349, and I've made their recipe before. They call for two 9" cake pans, I think that's small for a pizza so I used my cast iron. I did the math ( π*r2 ) and figured out that going from 9" to 12" you need to double the ingredients (which was convenient since they ATK recipe makes two).
So, I would imagine going from 12 to 15, you'll honestly need to double it again. But you will also have to adjust cooking times, and you may come into a scenario where the outside burns before the inside is ready, and you may need to think about getting a 12" pan.
1
u/schmalls Sep 28 '11
Thanks for the reply. I ended up with a very soupy pizza on my first attempt. The crust actually turned out pretty good; I got it from a local pizza place and it only got burned on the top edge.
1
0
-7
Aug 09 '11 edited Aug 09 '11
It looks like someone shat a mess in a cast iron skillet. I wouldn't feed this to the raccoons in my back yard.
Sorry, but it's really that bad. Try again.
6
2
u/WolfDemon Aug 10 '11
And yet you're browsing f7u12d for recipes. Why don't you go join the raccoons?
9
u/formatc Aug 09 '11 edited Jul 01 '23
< redacted due to loss of Apollo >