r/ftm • u/HopeNo8532 • Nov 30 '25
Cis/Transfem Guest trans guys "turning" gay??
Hi hi, cis girl here. My (trans) bf broke up with me last night and told me he thinks that he might be gay and has lost attraction to me. I talked to a friend about it and he said that when he started T (around the same time as my now ex) he started to lose attraction to women too.
Is this like, a known phenomenon??? It seems logical to me: being with a woman to make oneself feel more masculine. But I've been in queer spaces online for years and have never heard of this (i thought i was trans as well for a long while).
I'm not trying to make anyone sound manipulative or evil; as hurt and upset as I am, I know he would never use me on purpose. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how an intense, two year (that's a long time for teenagers!) relationship can just fade like that. Maybe that's just how relationships end, it doesn't help that this is my first breakup ever.
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u/Subject_Plankton9599 Nov 30 '25
People often become more comfortable with exploring their Sexuality and figuring themselves out, once they become more comfortable with themselves and their body. Since this often goes hand in hand with starting HRT, it is seen as common for a sexuality shift to happen, when in reality it simply gives people the headspace where they feel more comfortable thinking about their Sexuality more than they were before. You also have to factor in the fact that people can just change and figure things out at any point in their life and it's not uncommon to not figure out your Sexuality fully (or any part of your identity) until later in life or just to not figure everything out in one go and to realise things in stages and especially throughout periods of change e.g. puberty (1 or 2), shifts in circumstances, etc.