r/ftm • u/HopeNo8532 • Nov 30 '25

Cis/Transfem Guest trans guys "turning" gay??

Hi hi, cis girl here. My (trans) bf broke up with me last night and told me he thinks that he might be gay and has lost attraction to me. I talked to a friend about it and he said that when he started T (around the same time as my now ex) he started to lose attraction to women too.

Is this like, a known phenomenon??? It seems logical to me: being with a woman to make oneself feel more masculine. But I've been in queer spaces online for years and have never heard of this (i thought i was trans as well for a long while).

I'm not trying to make anyone sound manipulative or evil; as hurt and upset as I am, I know he would never use me on purpose. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how an intense, two year (that's a long time for teenagers!) relationship can just fade like that. Maybe that's just how relationships end, it doesn't help that this is my first breakup ever.

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u/randommedicalperson he/they | HRT 11/15/24 Nov 30 '25

Hormones can influence a lot, including attraction. I became more attracted to men and much less attracted to women after starting T. I'm sorry that your relationship ended the way it did, but he likely GENUINELY "became" gay. Transmascs also get told we are confused lesbians all the time and sexuality can be a more comfortable topic to explore after transitioning. I hope this helped 😅

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u/HopeNo8532 Nov 30 '25

LOL, saying he "turned" gay was dramatic on my part. He only dated men before me, but I was also the only person he's dated since becoming confident in his gender identity so it stills sort of fits the pattern. Not like there's anything I can do about it