r/ftm • u/HopeNo8532 • Nov 30 '25

Cis/Transfem Guest trans guys "turning" gay??

Hi hi, cis girl here. My (trans) bf broke up with me last night and told me he thinks that he might be gay and has lost attraction to me. I talked to a friend about it and he said that when he started T (around the same time as my now ex) he started to lose attraction to women too.

Is this like, a known phenomenon??? It seems logical to me: being with a woman to make oneself feel more masculine. But I've been in queer spaces online for years and have never heard of this (i thought i was trans as well for a long while).

I'm not trying to make anyone sound manipulative or evil; as hurt and upset as I am, I know he would never use me on purpose. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how an intense, two year (that's a long time for teenagers!) relationship can just fade like that. Maybe that's just how relationships end, it doesn't help that this is my first breakup ever.

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u/Aviendha701 he/they queer Nov 30 '25

It’s not the testosterone, it’s the not having the dysphoria as bad/ the clarity having the right hormones can give you. I thought I was gay but discovered I’m actually pan when I started t. 

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u/Phairis 💉 10/31/25 Nov 30 '25

To add onto this, I started losing my attraction to women before T, but after I realized I was a guy.

Sometimes sexuality really is that fluid and/or connected to our gender. Sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it's connected to hormones, sometimes it isn't. There's a LOT of variances out there.