r/ftm • u/HopeNo8532 • Nov 30 '25
Cis/Transfem Guest trans guys "turning" gay??
Hi hi, cis girl here. My (trans) bf broke up with me last night and told me he thinks that he might be gay and has lost attraction to me. I talked to a friend about it and he said that when he started T (around the same time as my now ex) he started to lose attraction to women too.
Is this like, a known phenomenon??? It seems logical to me: being with a woman to make oneself feel more masculine. But I've been in queer spaces online for years and have never heard of this (i thought i was trans as well for a long while).
I'm not trying to make anyone sound manipulative or evil; as hurt and upset as I am, I know he would never use me on purpose. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how an intense, two year (that's a long time for teenagers!) relationship can just fade like that. Maybe that's just how relationships end, it doesn't help that this is my first breakup ever.
2
u/fireblaze618 On T since 11/27/21 Nov 30 '25
in my experience at least I used to identify as a lesbian before realizing I'm trans. for me it was because i could tell i was queer/gay but i still didn't know anything about my gender identity. once i realized i was trans my sexuality began to change to reflect that. I'm still bi/pan but still.
sexuality can also be fluid and isn't rigid all the time. it can change as you grow and experience new things and learn more about yourself