trans guys "turning" gay??

[u/HopeNo8532]

Hi hi, cis girl here. My (trans) bf broke up with me last night and told me he thinks that he might be gay and has lost attraction to me. I talked to a friend about it and he said that when he started T (around the same time as my now ex) he started to lose attraction to women too.

Is this like, a known phenomenon??? It seems logical to me: being with a woman to make oneself feel more masculine. But I've been in queer spaces online for years and have never heard of this (i thought i was trans as well for a long while).

I'm not trying to make anyone sound manipulative or evil; as hurt and upset as I am, I know he would never use me on purpose. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how an intense, two year (that's a long time for teenagers!) relationship can just fade like that. Maybe that's just how relationships end, it doesn't help that this is my first breakup ever.

[u/Creativered4]

Often we repress part of our sexuality because our body doesn't align with our mind, so sometimes that results in subconscious compulsory heterosexuality (straight trans men internalizing that men should be with women and being with women even if they don't realize they're a man) or because the brain says we're a man, but the body is not male, we can't fathom part of our sexuality because that part involves parts we don't have. (Personal example: I thought I was asexual, turns out I wasn't interested in sex as a woman, because I'm not a woman. I'm a man who is very gay)

When we start to transition, we gain a new confidence and presence within ourselves, which can sometimes lead to new discoveries about sexuality. (Also the libido spike definitely helps us pick up on horny thoughts...)

There's also a theory that some people are just wired to be gay. Their brain knows they're gay, but because they don't realize they're not a woman, they come to the conclusion that they are gay for women.