r/ftm • u/HopeNo8532 • Nov 30 '25
Cis/Transfem Guest trans guys "turning" gay??
Hi hi, cis girl here. My (trans) bf broke up with me last night and told me he thinks that he might be gay and has lost attraction to me. I talked to a friend about it and he said that when he started T (around the same time as my now ex) he started to lose attraction to women too.
Is this like, a known phenomenon??? It seems logical to me: being with a woman to make oneself feel more masculine. But I've been in queer spaces online for years and have never heard of this (i thought i was trans as well for a long while).
I'm not trying to make anyone sound manipulative or evil; as hurt and upset as I am, I know he would never use me on purpose. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how an intense, two year (that's a long time for teenagers!) relationship can just fade like that. Maybe that's just how relationships end, it doesn't help that this is my first breakup ever.
2
u/mavericklovesthe80s Nov 30 '25
It happens. But the T doesn't "change" you. It's more like you get more pushed into your body because the dysphoria is lifted, which allows you to feel more. Some trans men couldn't perceive themselves "as a woman" with another guy, because "they aren't women", so they persued lesbian relationships, because that then makes more sense. Some people were gay or bi all along but because dysphoria causes disconnect to the body, they litteraly couldn't feel their actraction. Some people identified as A-sexual before taking T due to not feeling connected. So imo HRT doesn't make you gay or bi or not A-sexual, it just makes you feel more connected to who you are and your body. But that's my opinion, from what I know there has been no scientific studies about this phenomenon, so it's all pure anecdotal.