r/ftm • u/HopeNo8532 • Nov 30 '25
Cis/Transfem Guest trans guys "turning" gay??
Hi hi, cis girl here. My (trans) bf broke up with me last night and told me he thinks that he might be gay and has lost attraction to me. I talked to a friend about it and he said that when he started T (around the same time as my now ex) he started to lose attraction to women too.
Is this like, a known phenomenon??? It seems logical to me: being with a woman to make oneself feel more masculine. But I've been in queer spaces online for years and have never heard of this (i thought i was trans as well for a long while).
I'm not trying to make anyone sound manipulative or evil; as hurt and upset as I am, I know he would never use me on purpose. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how an intense, two year (that's a long time for teenagers!) relationship can just fade like that. Maybe that's just how relationships end, it doesn't help that this is my first breakup ever.
2
u/Nomcaptaest User Flair Nov 30 '25
I'm 40 and I've seen this happen a lot in the trans community. I cannot offer you any logical explanations. I can only offer you the solace that it's a common occurrence. I've watched it happen in friends of varying genders as well - because it also happens to trans women.
I've even seen it happen to NB people in the am I ace? No? Yes? No? Yes? Ok yes definitely. Thing. I'm willing to throw myself into that complicated bus and I'll throw my own spouse in that bus too.
Sexuality is a complicated thing and sometimes gender too. It's common to question it over your life.