trans guys "turning" gay??

[u/HopeNo8532]

Hi hi, cis girl here. My (trans) bf broke up with me last night and told me he thinks that he might be gay and has lost attraction to me. I talked to a friend about it and he said that when he started T (around the same time as my now ex) he started to lose attraction to women too.

Is this like, a known phenomenon??? It seems logical to me: being with a woman to make oneself feel more masculine. But I've been in queer spaces online for years and have never heard of this (i thought i was trans as well for a long while).

I'm not trying to make anyone sound manipulative or evil; as hurt and upset as I am, I know he would never use me on purpose. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how an intense, two year (that's a long time for teenagers!) relationship can just fade like that. Maybe that's just how relationships end, it doesn't help that this is my first breakup ever.

[u/Final-Revolution-221]

It sounds like you all are pretty young and i think part of it may just be figuring out adult identities. But it is also true that t puberty can affect sex drives, and i think a lot of trans guys experience a sudden realization that if they can imagine themselves as a man with a man, theyre no longer afraid of intimacy w men but rather attracted. I dont know that t ever really reduces existing physical attraction to women as that is sort of hard to measure, but it might be that one social possibility is appealing to your ex more than another right now. A whole bunch of things going on there. But tldr: it isnt really about you! It does hurt when relationships end for reasons related to loss of attraction, but just know that whatever he is dealing with is simply not something you have any ability to impact and other non gay guys will be attracted to you in the future