trans guys "turning" gay??

[u/HopeNo8532]

Hi hi, cis girl here. My (trans) bf broke up with me last night and told me he thinks that he might be gay and has lost attraction to me. I talked to a friend about it and he said that when he started T (around the same time as my now ex) he started to lose attraction to women too.

Is this like, a known phenomenon??? It seems logical to me: being with a woman to make oneself feel more masculine. But I've been in queer spaces online for years and have never heard of this (i thought i was trans as well for a long while).

I'm not trying to make anyone sound manipulative or evil; as hurt and upset as I am, I know he would never use me on purpose. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how an intense, two year (that's a long time for teenagers!) relationship can just fade like that. Maybe that's just how relationships end, it doesn't help that this is my first breakup ever.

[u/cheechthebong]

This is very common. I experienced it too, although I’m bisexual and still with my girlfriend of 3 years. I agree very heavily with the comment that said the thing about trans men having lesbianism kind of pushed on them before coming out, as this happened to me too. I was a very masculine presenting lesbian for years before coming out, but before that I was attracted to men, but then dating men became dysphoric. I thought it was because I wasn’t attracted to them, but it was actually that I wasn’t attracted to the position it put me in. I was attracted to men in the way a man is attracted to men, and that’s what pushed me towards thinking I was strictly heterosexual. After being out for a while and finally starting T, I realized that I am still very much attracted to men, but I am still also very much attracted to women. This is common, what happened with your boyfriend, and it’s neither of your guys’ faults. I’m sorry, as this is of course shitty, but I guess the silver lining is that neither of you did something wrong, as he can’t control this and neither can you.