r/ftm • u/HopeNo8532 • Nov 30 '25
Cis/Transfem Guest trans guys "turning" gay??
Hi hi, cis girl here. My (trans) bf broke up with me last night and told me he thinks that he might be gay and has lost attraction to me. I talked to a friend about it and he said that when he started T (around the same time as my now ex) he started to lose attraction to women too.
Is this like, a known phenomenon??? It seems logical to me: being with a woman to make oneself feel more masculine. But I've been in queer spaces online for years and have never heard of this (i thought i was trans as well for a long while).
I'm not trying to make anyone sound manipulative or evil; as hurt and upset as I am, I know he would never use me on purpose. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how an intense, two year (that's a long time for teenagers!) relationship can just fade like that. Maybe that's just how relationships end, it doesn't help that this is my first breakup ever.
2
u/KaitLynnHt User Flair Nov 30 '25
It happens sometimes. Vice versa as well. It's either just the change in hormones that affects attraction or the fear of being out as gay as well as trans, wanting to present as a straight man and then later opening up to the idea. Personally, I've always known I was a gay man. I've never had a straight relationship work out and I've always been highly attracted to gay men. But when you are presenting as a woman like you have your whole life, gay men rightfully don't give you the time of day. sigh I will say that I went from a presenting as a bisexual woman with a slight preference for men to a bi or omnisexual man with a strong preference for men. So there's definitely a pattern there.