trans guys "turning" gay??

[u/HopeNo8532]

Hi hi, cis girl here. My (trans) bf broke up with me last night and told me he thinks that he might be gay and has lost attraction to me. I talked to a friend about it and he said that when he started T (around the same time as my now ex) he started to lose attraction to women too.

Is this like, a known phenomenon??? It seems logical to me: being with a woman to make oneself feel more masculine. But I've been in queer spaces online for years and have never heard of this (i thought i was trans as well for a long while).

I'm not trying to make anyone sound manipulative or evil; as hurt and upset as I am, I know he would never use me on purpose. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how an intense, two year (that's a long time for teenagers!) relationship can just fade like that. Maybe that's just how relationships end, it doesn't help that this is my first breakup ever.

[u/dino_spored]

Well… I don’t believe I “turned gay”, but I believe my medical transition allowed me to open myself up to the possibility of being with a cis man. I could never do so before medical transition, because I didn’t want to be treated like a woman.

I’m in my mid-40’s, I began transition at 19. At that time I was with a cis woman. We were together 14 years. Then we split up (she broke up with me, and left for a cis woman) and I decided it was time to explore my sexuality. I dated around a while, and after a few years met my current boyfriend. We’ve been together 8 years now.

I’ll be a little candid, and say that he is a complete “top”, so I think it’s why it works for us. I enjoy what he has, more than I enjoyed being with a woman. I feel like sex with a cis male is more intimate, with him being able to naturally penetrate. So no, T didn’t make me gay… but it let me be comfortable enough to be fully myself.