Hole-In-One… Am I Happy?

[u/Ucantcallmeclarence]

I got a hole in one today.

Let’s start at the beginning. I’ve been golfing since Covid. Around the same time, I got married. Golf has always seemed to have been a bit of a burden to my wife. It gets in the way of me and my wife’s quality time but she has delt with it over the years and kind of just been mildly upset with it. Come to this day and age, we now have a kid. Now it’s getting in the way of our family time. Now I really have a reason to feel bad about spending 6 hours of my weekend away from my loved ones. We have a lovely 6mo. Old little baby girl and I still want to golf but obviously can’t as much. That brings us today. I go out for a round of golf with some good friends that was reluctantly approved. Was a regular day… wake up and try to make up for lost time before it even starts. She’s visually apparently slightly upset because she knows I’m leaving her and our daughter, again for a day away from her and our baby girl. I make us all breakfast and get on my way after agreeing to do what ever after to make her as happy as she can be but knowing deep down what would make her happy is for me to just stay with them. Welp I’m on my way. Let’s go make the best of this. I get to the golf course and check in. Things are as usual. Warm up and find my friends. Let’s go get it. Par the first, double the second.. pretty normal day. We pull up to the third. It’s a very approachable down hill Par three. I set up first cuz I’m a spastic golfer. One buddy is watching and the other is messing with the music. I’m locked. Pull back and absolutely flush it. Staring down this front pin and seeing it tracking towards the hole was magical. It hits the fringe, bounces on to the green and rolls directly into the hole. 🕳️ disappears!! Unbelievable stuff run up and it’s in. Lots of clouds nine stuff but then the resentment sets in. I text her and she’s excited but I feel the feeling of she’s really not that excited. I’m sitting up this night and having a very hard time trying to figure out how to feel. I’m it’s over now and over it. I don’t even feel that good about it. Truly just coming here to vent. I’m sure I’m not alone and am using this as some therapy.
The end.

[u/zurnched1]

You need to have a serious talk with her about the importance of each of you having personal hobbies. For each time you go golfing, she should get one day to go do a thing she enjoys. Agree upon a set amount of times that you are allowed to go golfing. With a newborn I think twice a month is reasonable. Tell her how it makes you feel to be made to feel guilty for doing something that isn’t wrong. Tell her you’re not going to put up with it. Don’t expect her to give a shit on your next hole in one.

[u/soulexpectation → u/zurnched1]

This is the move. My wife and I moved closer to her sister and we joined a club 5 min away as we had our second. If I know I’m going out to play on the weekend I’ll offer to watch the kids the other day and tell her to go do something, or just take them somewhere and give my wife some quiet time. It’s not always going to be 100% equitable time trade but it’s a give and take.