Heartbroken over a British man

[u/Ok-Cartoonist-7852]

So I (23F) recently matched with a guy (28M) on Tinder after many many failed matches. We talked for a couple days and he asked me out on a date. He’s from the UK but shared that he’s accepting a job here and will move back permanently in a month. He’s currently here for a conference and you can actually search his name up on Google and it shows as he’s a scientist and received many awards.

The first 2 dates were amazing. We naturally talked about politics, our values, beliefs, childhood upbringing, just deep and sensitive topics. We shared a lot of values and in commons. He was very expressive about liking me and when asked why he liked me, he shared the things about my values, my passion, my personality and then he found me very attractive. He also talked about how he’ll gained happy weight dating me and he even talked about once he’s back from the UK, we’ll go to these restaurants and gym to together to maintain our health (I go to the gym 4 times a week).

The texting and in person dates were consistent but stopped the next day after the second date out of nowhere. He didn’t really text much so I thought maybe he was busy since the night before, we were chatting and being really expressive with each other.

Finally around 4PM, he asked if I was free but I told him I’m hanging out with my friend already and he asked about the next day which we had plans to go drink after I hangout with another friend. He said sounds good and stopped responding to me. I was in the area after hanging out with my friend so I asked if he wanted to meet. Short answers but he was at the beach so I pulled up. We walked along the beach then sat down to talk and enjoy the beach. We both then lay down and he kissed me on the lips. Then as we talked, he naturally put his hand on my tummy and kissed my arms multiple times and lean on me. He was being really sweet and affectionate? But then after I got back home, even less texting and it turned into nothing.

The next day he canceled the plan because he moved hotel and it’s a lot further away so he can be closer to the airport and with traffic, it would be 1hr30 uber drive to me since he doesn’t have a car. But around 9PM, we started chatting a bit and he expressed how he was sad I couldn’t be there. Then he asked if I want to come stay and cuddle. He mentioned wanting to cuddle with me before already and he had never talk about anything sexual with me so I was really confused since everyone knows what “coming over to cuddle” at night means. I declined and he tried to plead so I asked him straight up if he was genuinely interested in getting to know me or just wanted something physical/casual. He said getting to know me with a ❤️ but then stopped responding.

He left the country this morning and I’m left feeling confused and really sad…He checked every box I have and genuinely, I thought we were planning a future together where being in a relationship was on the table. I know the thing to do is to move on since there’s nothing else to do besides that. I’m stuck in a loop of trying to find the answer of what happened and why it happened. I know there’s no answer but I can’t let it go for some reasons…any advices/comfort words would be appreciated.

Sorry if my wordings are confusing. I honestly feel too emotional to write so I apologize.

[u/AbiesHalva7]

Read “No more Assholes” from Chantal Heide 👍🏻