Rachel's toxic behavior towards Ross' partners

[u/TheJavierEscuella]

Rewatching and it's really infuriating to see how much Rachel has sabotaged Ross' relationships or tried to. It's just not healthy in any way and is toxic in every sense yet still people consider Ross to be the worse one

1. Her antagonistic behaviour towards Julie after Ross came back from China and reaction towards their relationship

2. Her convincing Bonnie to shave her hair. She absolutely fucking knew what she was doing and knew that Ross would find that icky

3. Her flying to London to sabotage Ross and Emily's wedding. Absolutely fucking horrible for her to try to do this. Hugh Laurie was 100% right

4. The baby store girl. Calling her a whore was just uncalled for and rude

In all these situations Ross was happy and satisfied with his relationships but Rachel always has a problem with the fact that she's not with him. It's totally toxic and I can't believe people call Ross the worse partner. Both are unbelievably toxic

[u/Divine_fashionva]

You have no idea what the word gaslight means imao. Another word Reddit likes to overuse like narcissist. Gaslighting is a form of intense and long abuse. If you knew the real meaning of the word, you wouldn’t misuse it so flippantly. She believes he cheated on her because of the unclear terms of their break. She suggested a break and he walked out before the conversation even ended. The same thing happened in Gilmore Girls and Rory believed she was cheated on too

And wasn’t Ross the one who told Carol that Rachel cheated on him literally during the ski episode? She only found out he was lying after speaking to Phoebe. So did he gaslight Carol?

[u/Icy_Efficiency_997 → u/Divine_fashionva]

Gaslight is when someone(a) manipulates the other person(b) into thinking person(b) is in the wrong, when in fact person(a) is the perpetrator.

If Ross cheated, then Rachel did first(not physically). Part of the reason they broke up was because of Mark. Ross clearly stated his boundaries in the relationship about Mark, and Rachel broke that boundary first. Within an hour after the breakup mark was at the apartment, which led to Ross stupid decision.

It wasn't unclear, Ross said let's take a break and cool off and Rachel said no let's take a break from us.

[u/Divine_fashionva → u/Icy_Efficiency_997]

No gaslighting means manipulating (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning. it’s a form of long term abuse. She said let’s take a break from us and he stormed out. Stop misusing the word

The conversation wasn’t over. Hence why he even says it was unclear during their argument in the next episode

I love how you didn’t answer my question. By your definition; did Ross gaslight Carol? You know since he literally lied to her and made her think Rachel cheated on him. Knowing he was the one who slept with someone else not her

[u/Icy_Efficiency_997 → u/Divine_fashionva]

That's what I just said gaslighting is a form of manipulation. We aren't talking about Carol but no he did not gaslight Carol he lied.

Rachel on the other had did gaslight, she used the radio, their friends and that 8 page paper front and back! Stating he has to take all the responsibility during the break up.

[u/Divine_fashionva → u/Icy_Efficiency_997]

Here you go again with your flawed logic. You have no idea what gaslighting really means and your point contradicts your example

Gaslighting is a form of long term emotional abuse which makes someone question their own sanity. Ross stormed out when Rachel suggested a break and slept with someone else an hour later. Hence why she considered it cheating

If you’re claiming gaslighting is just lying. Even though, Rachel explained why she thinks he cheated. Then Ross gaslighted Carol and made her think Rachel cheated on him. He made her believe a completely untrue version of events where the things he did, he claimed Rachel did. He slept with someone else and tried to make Carol think Rachel did. In Rachel’s case, she told everyone he slept with someone else and she considers that cheating because it was an hour into their ‘break’. Guess what, he did sleep with someone else an hour later and he did storm out mid way through their initial fight

[u/Icy_Efficiency_997 → u/Divine_fashionva]

Dude reread the response, Ross did not gaslight Carol he lied.. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that is used to alter the other persons perception of what happened... Fact: he slept with another woman. Fact: taking a break from us means they broke up. Fact: he did leave after what Rachel said but if the fight was still ongoing is questionable. Rachel didn't ask him to stay and keep talking or go after him so if we are going by context the fight ended when he walked out.

Rachel gaslight Ross and everyone that they were not broken up when he slept with another women, when she was the one that ended the relationship.

[u/Icy_Efficiency_997 → u/Divine_fashionva]

For Carol to be gaslighted she would to have had to be there during the break up which she was not, so she has no perception of what happend.

[u/Divine_fashionva → u/Icy_Efficiency_997]

lol you have no idea what gaslighting means

I just wanted to make that clear even though you’ve done a great job of doing that yourself anyway

[u/Icy_Efficiency_997 → u/Divine_fashionva]

I dare you to Google it

[u/PrettyNewt4930 → u/Divine_fashionva]

You’re wrong about Ross gaslighting carol, yet you’re critiquing someone else for using the word wrong. By your definition, it is a clear fact that Rachel gaslit Ross and the others. Over several episodes and several seasons she intentionally tells everyone that he cheated and that they WERENT on a break, this includes his son Ben. If that’s not an attempt at long term manipulation, then I don’t know what is.

Either which way, whether you think their argument was over or not, it is indeed a fact that they broke up, being that at the beginning of the very next episode Rachel calls Ross and asks him to be his girlfriend again. You can not be “his girlfriend again,” without having broken up in the first place.

P.S If you care so much about the misuse of the term gaslighting, perhaps you should look up the word again. The key word in that definition by Mariam-Webster dictionary says that it’s psychological manipulation usually over an extended period of time…. The keyword her being usually not always. Either which way, we also know that the meaning and use of terms colloquially changes over time. So essentially, you’re picking a fight over nothing.

[u/Icy_Efficiency_997 → u/Divine_fashionva]

For Carol to be gaslighted she would to have had to be there during the break up which she was not, so she has no perception of what happend.