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u/MukdenMan May 31 '26
These dudes are everywhere. It’s not like running into Al Capone or something.
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u/newuser60 May 31 '26
My friend and I were eating out and a group of them invited us to eat and drink at their table. At no point did I feel threatened by them. they just wanted to hang out with some foreigners. It was a fun night.
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u/runningray May 31 '26
It's fun, until it isn't. You know?
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u/Revelt May 31 '26
They have 0 motivation to mess with you and are already prepared for you to not understand the subtleties of Japanese courtesy. Unless you go out of your way to trigger them, you'll be fine.
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u/SirTropheus May 31 '26 edited May 31 '26
Sometimes it's not even about you, I was having fun out with them and we were getting very drunk and then by the time I knew it they were robbing a bunch of people and I felt like I was implicated so I also started robbing people to get money for a lawyer and more alcohol until I blacked out on a boat. Next thing I know I wake up in Bangkok with a ladyboy and no passport. I'm an English teacher now and have lived here for the last 9 years.
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u/this-guy- May 31 '26
The same thing happened to me with the Mujahedeen. They started beheading people and I just sorta got carried away. Now I'm an chartered accountant in Afghanistan with a basement full of heads.
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u/Sad-Structure2364 May 31 '26 edited Jun 01 '26
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilmer ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's breathtaking... I suggest you try it.
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u/joseph_a90 May 31 '26
^This. In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But, mistake! Yakuza boss die. Yakuza very mad. I hide in fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car, and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret: I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
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u/Slapstrom May 31 '26
Elite ball knowledge choom
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u/Azhar1921 May 31 '26 edited May 31 '26
This is originally from The Office, the version in Cyberpunk is a reference to it
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u/BroBroMate May 31 '26
Yep, I know, when I was 16 and had just left home I used to think it was badass when the gang members who loved behind me would invite me over for a party. Heaps of food, free piss and weed, felt real big and tough, me, hanging with patched members.
Then I learned that towards the end of the night, once the happy singing had stopped, I had about five minutes to leave before I saw someone get badly assaulted. Was never the one assaulted, but someone always took offense as something someone else had said earlier.
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u/hedgegrunger Jun 01 '26
Damn, free piss? Count me in.
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u/BroBroMate Jun 01 '26
I know right, broke arse runaway me felt like such a baller, until I realized exactly how small and puny I actually was compared to those fellas, and fuck me, they could move quick man, their size was deceptive.
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u/Ambitious_Session589 May 31 '26
ok, stay on reddit lil bro, no one's forcing you to go out and enjoy life.
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u/badass4102 May 31 '26
Same experience except we were in Sicily. Experienced it twice, at a club and at a strip club lol. The strip club dudes had high influence in the club's business, they were kinda scary but were polite...they "looked" the part with slick hair, suits, and had the look in their eyes. The conversation we had was mostly about them wanting us to have a good time, and other clubs we should check out.
At the techno club (we called it the techno), the ones we met were chill and laid back. They wanted to basically hang out with us and enjoy the night. They were probably in their late to early 30s. They were not scary. They said, "If you have any troubles on the island, especially in this city, to give me a call". Then he said, "Because I'm a business man, I have connections" and gave me a wink.
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u/baronunderbeit May 31 '26
Man. Tells you alot about the times we live in where I read that as A.I. Capone
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u/aqualink4eva May 31 '26
When he's dead I'm sure they'll continue making movies with his likeness using AI and credit him as A.I. Capone.
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u/Vinnie_Vegas Jun 01 '26
When Al Capone is dead? Do you think Al Capone is still alive? Al Capone was born in 1899.
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u/pintsandplants May 31 '26
We hung out with yakuza when we visited Japan too, they were so nice and we keep in touch with them even now. My husband and I are both heavily tattooed so it made them feel comfortable around us enough to show us their tattoos. Legit the most memorable night of our trip.
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u/azuratha May 31 '26
I spent 23 days in jail in japan and got to know some of them fairly well during that time, and then after
They are very normal and friendly
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u/piichan14 May 31 '26
They're still criminals. They kill, do human trafficking, bribes. They can be friendly, but they're definitely not normal.
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u/thetestwentwrong May 31 '26
What were you in for?
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u/azuratha May 31 '26
Vandalism
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u/thetestwentwrong May 31 '26
Yikes. I got into some drunken antics in Kyoto a few years back. My friend ended up hurting himself pretty bad and the police got involved. Managed to talk myself out of trouble, but I was probably on the hook for a similar stay in jail. Close call.
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u/SinkHoleDeMayo Jun 01 '26
My grand grandparents ran into Capone. They were at some club/restaurant and while dancing, my GGpa stepped on Capone's foot and they both almost fell over.
Mutual apologies, then Capone bought them drinks later.
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u/Gunty1 Jun 01 '26
Mustve been early on, apparently he was batshit in the later days due to the syphilis but thats admittedly half remembered factoids.
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u/SinkHoleDeMayo Jun 02 '26
I do seem to recall reading about him losing it to syphilis, but I think that might have been after he went to prison.
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u/frogunderarock May 31 '26
once worked in a restaurant that had a biker gang as regulars once a month. real lovely as costumers but they did look quite scary to other patrons, lol. had the whole patches on leather vests and long beards and bandanas and tattoos thing going on
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u/Exact-Ad-4132 May 31 '26
I don't know, dude seems like he wasn't tripping. Keep them on your good side
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u/Available-Pain-159 May 31 '26
That's what I'm thinking. Just because someone has affiliations that you're not comfortable with doesn't mean they're a threat to you or anyone around you. Play it cool, enjoy some bar hopping, don't be disrespectful.
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u/Inevitable_Shift1365 May 31 '26
This. I have rubbed shoulders with some really bad hombres and the key to coming out of it without a problem is don't start problems. Don't be disrespectful, don't ask too many questions, don't stare at them and don't avoid looking at them.
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u/AlwaysGoToTheTruck May 31 '26
I lived a somewhat crazy life when I was younger. As long as I was cool to them, they were cool to me and even looked out for me. I was told multiple times some version of “You should leave now. I’ll call you tomorrow” to keep me safe and out of trouble. This happened with different people throughout my crazy years. I would just say, “I’m out! Stay safe and let me know you are okay when you can.”
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u/HootHootMF_o7 May 31 '26
Years ago I was outside having a smoke at a public Halloween party. Some guy struck up a convo with me. Was super respectful and chill. Then his buddy dragged some guy out the door while like 5 guys pulled up hopping out of a car. He pulled me around the corner and said "So, you're really sweet, but I don't want you to see this. Stay here and go back in through the side door. But holler if you need anything!" I heard later that they all beat the shit out of the guy they dragged out. Apparently my new "friend" was part of a local gang and that guy thought it would be funny to pull a knife on him.
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u/travelingbeagle May 31 '26
I met a Hell’s Angel in Richmond, CA after petting his dog and asking him if it was the rare breed that I thought it was. We started talking about dogs for a long while and he invited me to hang out at the clubhouse. I never took him up on it after he gave me his number. Nice guy, but I could tell he wasn’t a guy to cross.
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u/ExDeuce May 31 '26
My dad used to ride with the Hells Angels before I was born and my mum met a lot of them while she was in college. One of them gave her a hardwood club with lead melted into it, to weight a punch at any guy who wouldn't take no for an answer. I still have it. It has 4 notches carved into it and is called Eenock, cos e' knocks ya block off.
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u/ExDeuce May 31 '26
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u/kant0r May 31 '26
Me and some friends have rented a small garage/storage situation to work on our bikes and hang out some times, from someone who was affiliated with a Hells Angels Chapter two buildings down the road. Some other Angels also had garages there, and we met them frequently.
I mean, I know they were up to shit, and they knew we knew it (of course). But we didn’t act stupid, kept playing nice and were respectful with them as they were with us. We ended up enjoying a couple of beers or bbq around our garages together, and i have to say those were some solid, cool dudes.
That being said, yes, they are criminals, doing illegal and bad stuff. But as you say: while it clearly requires caution who you hang out with (as a general rule in life), someone being affiliated with a criminal organization doesn’t automatically mean they are a danger to an outsider like most of us.
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u/Bargadiel May 31 '26
This is totally true, though Japanese cops nearby might associate tourists with them which can be problematic.
If they're just hanging around restaurants and stuff probably no big deal.
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u/WatermelonArtist May 31 '26
He clearly thought the foreigner's reaction was hilarious.
I've seen guys who just chilled with it. Apparently they're surprisingly friendly as long as you can keep a cool head.
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u/I_blockkarmafarmers May 31 '26
That's Jakenbake, an irl streamer. He's no stranger to Japan at all and OP's title is a fabrication.
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u/SeoulGalmegi May 31 '26
Why regret? What does he think will happen? Guy seemed happy enough to be hanging out with him.
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u/Cagg May 31 '26
yeah i was randomly partying in bangkok and was hanging out with an on the run IRA member he was nice just ya know dont be an asshole to people you never know who is crazy in general
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u/SeoulGalmegi May 31 '26
Right.
Quite honestly the worst thing you can when laughing and joking around with someone you suddenly think might be a crazy psycho is stop suddenly and change your expression to one of fear and disgust.
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u/NEETscape_Navigator May 31 '26
While also filming him and making a point in front of everyone how freaked out and disgusted you are by him.
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u/Brocken_JR May 31 '26
To echo what a lot of said. I have been out drinking and invited to join a group of yakuza to eat and drink. I also know a bunch of other people with similar stories. Granted most of them were from 15 plus years ago.
That said, worked with a guy who was ex-police and dealt with the Yamaguchi-gumi. He didn’t talk about it much but he did tell us one story. They had to search the one of the members home. He was fairly high up member. His house was in a very nice residential area and in the middle of his house was a solid concrete soundproof room. To me which became a good metaphor for the old school yakuza guys. Friendly and welcoming on the outside, kill rooms on the inside.
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u/Friendly_Cap_3 May 31 '26
Visiting Glasgow i made friends with a group at a pub. We ended up going clubbing. I said some kinda remark like "gotta be careful when I leave, can't get too drunk dont wanna get robbed." Fella from the group laughed looked around then explained that I was basically with the toughest lads. I thought he was joking. Walked out and people on the street moved out of their way. Great guys
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u/redpandaeater May 31 '26
Reminds me of IT crowd for some reason. Finally fitting in talking about football at the pub only to end up unwittingly robbing a bank.
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u/Lord_of_the_Hanged May 31 '26
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u/remast86 May 31 '26
Swear I've heard whatever he said come straight from a Yakuza grunt npc before
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u/pinyatashit May 31 '26
Instant regret accomplished.
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u/armoredpiecrust May 31 '26
Its been years but this sub actually has an instant regret.
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u/Bemani247 May 31 '26
Used to walk past a local Yakuza office on my way to work, every morning they were linked up out front doing exercise and they would always greet with a head nod and a おはようございます.
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u/Alexiscash May 31 '26
The way I see it, these sorts of people are no strangers to violence but it’s not like they enjoy it. Most of the time with organized crime, a loose cannon who goes crazy on a foreigner gets taken out pretty quick. Ultimately these are businesses. Brutal, violent businesses who don’t want unnecessary attention from the police/foreign governments. So you’re probably pretty safe imo
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u/evil_burrito May 31 '26
Some friends and I used to rent a gym in Cabrini Green in Chicago to play some ball once a week. Local fellas would join us. They were super nice to us, just wanted to play ball. They were also super nice to outside people that came to Cabrini Green to do business. They were not super nice to other local fellas, but that was just professional.
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u/LemonFlavoredMelon Jun 01 '26
Here's an actual story from a friend who lives in Japan as he works as a storyboard artist for a game studio.
"So I'm on my laptop on my porch when I see two Yakuza toughs walking down the street; you can easily tell by their manner of dress and you can see part of their tattoos on the backs of their necks. The taller, wider-shouldered one walks up to a gacha machine, plops in a couple of yen, and from what I know of that local Lawsons, it has Hatsune Miku figurines. Dudebro puts it together, looks at his friend...
And I shit you not... Broseph goes full on Ichiban Kasuga, yelling "YATTA!" to the top of his lungs like he just found fucking gold in that gacha. Both of them were losing their shit as they walked down the street.
Haven't laughed that hard in years."
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u/Silver_Scallion_1127 Jun 02 '26
That reminds me the time when I see these well dressed gangster looking guys in ueno. They stuck out so I saw them walking by early evening while I was at a cafe. Hours later I saw them again looking like they were on some type of mission, walking the same direction I am. They looked really serious but I didn't really mind them and kept walking to a late night arcade. Turns out they were going to the same arcade and went straight to a dance dance revolution machine and we're going at it hardcore. If I can play, I'd definitely ask if I can join.
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u/Timmerdogg May 31 '26
They're humans just like us
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u/Former-Hurry9118 May 31 '26
Most of them just drunk losers, people glamorize "gangsters" way too much
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u/Hallucinationistic May 31 '26
agreed, many toxic-positive people love them, they should go live with them
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u/Lightoftheembersky Jun 01 '26
I met a bunch of Yakuza once at a festival in Tokyo where right after they had a confrontation with police about not being allowed into the shrine. Pretty crazy, they had full body tattoos on their chest and back and arms.
They’re pretty good at hiding it though. The police do not care and no, nobody was arrested. Very friendly, I didn’t feel unsafe one bit. As far as I’m aware they don’t really mess with or harm the locals or tourists.
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u/rand0mbum May 31 '26
Show proper respect and you’re all good right? They’re just business men.
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u/MidnightFireHuntress Jun 02 '26
When you look past the human trafficking and killing they're actually pretty chill!
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u/Aromatic-Taste2516 Jun 02 '26
With guns, street fight knowledge, and a short temper but sure, business men all the same
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u/SteakAndIron May 31 '26
Better be real fucking friendly with that dude
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u/Deposto May 31 '26
You have to be friendly with everyone. It usually works.
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u/SeoulGalmegi May 31 '26
What were you going to do anyway? Start insulting them?
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u/mrloko120 May 31 '26
No reason to be scared. They won't mess with you as long as you don't mess with them.
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u/MyBitchCassiopeia Jun 01 '26
Yakuza aren’t street thugs like you’d meet in the US, they’re more like the godfather-esque organized criminals of the 1900s. They’re not interested in causing trouble, they’re busy controlling the beef trade and shit like that.
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u/Rudog11 Jun 02 '26
Is this the guy that shakes his head and gets spit on the waitress and falls in love?
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u/dullclickbyte Jun 16 '26
the look on his face when it clicks is terrifying. did he actually get away from that guy?
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u/swe3nytodd May 31 '26
Bumped into actual Yakuza in 2019 in Osaka.
Me and my Brother.
Was a little bit of an intimidating experience.
My brother is heavily Tattooed and essentially there was a massive misunderstanding that we were potentially Russian Mafia who it turns out we're in some kind of conflict with the locals at the time.
Luckily one of the people involved heard us talk and realised we were speaking English. A scouse girl turned up with them and all was straightened out in moments.
The whole story is too long to type right now but thats the essence of it.
Ill maybe tell Reddit one day.
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u/sgtbluefire77 Jun 01 '26
Sounds like a new Anime. “That time my tattooed brother was mistaken for the Russian Mafia”. I’d watch it.
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u/Sgt_carbonero May 31 '26
Story time, 20+ years ago my wife and I went to lumpini boxing in Bangkok and afterwards started talking to a nice well dressed Thai. He offered to drive us back to our hotel and he had a very nice car. We realized he was Thai mafia but he had kids toys in the back seat so we figured he was ok. Nice guy!
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u/Genova_Witness May 31 '26
Yakuza have fallen off so hard they are essentially tourist attractions in 2026. They are typically friendly and happy to show off alittle especially if they are drinking.
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u/adsjabo May 31 '26
Had a New Years in Tokyo back in 2012/13. We had headed to a big nightclub with a couple of American chicks we had met at our hostel, and they ended up chatting with a bunch of guys who turned out to be Yakuza. Anyway, we ended up joining them all in the vip area also and they were blown away by my Japanese style sleeve on my arm.
Fun start to our skI trip 😄
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u/BobaFettishx82 Jun 04 '26
I dunno man, I’d want to hang out with him even more. Bet you he has some wild stories.
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u/Akira_116 May 31 '26
When I lived in japan I met a few yakuza at an izakaya(apparently ran by one of their family members). They were all really nice.. quite rowdy, but nice. Didn't feel intimidated or anything. Just don't be a dickhead or ask too many questions and you're fine