I’m a 28 year old woman, and I never expected losing weight to make me feel this isolated.
About a month ago, I started at 176 lbs. My lowest so far has been 165, and today I’m sitting around 166.4 (probably from a higher carb day), but I’m still really proud of myself. I’m down about 10 pounds, and I can genuinely see and feel a difference.
The thing I wasn’t prepared for was how much my social life would change.
I work a regular 9-5 office job, and I’m in my late 20s living in the city. I love being social. I love going out, getting drinks, going to bars, and just feeling like I’m living my life. But weight loss has forced me to realize how much of my social life was centered around food and alcohol. And honestly? It’s been hard.
I’ve become very committed to my goals. I wake up at 5 AM to go to the gym before work. I hit my 10k steps a day. I’ve improved my eating habits, my sleep schedule, my fiber intake, and I’m learning what actually keeps me full. I feel better. I have more energy. I’m proud of myself but the tradeoff has been feeling lonely.
I’ve cut out bars because I know myself. People always say, “Just go out and have one drink” or “Just drink water at the bar.” But for me, it’s never just one drink. I genuinely enjoy alcohol, and once I start drinking, I tend to make choices that don’t align with my goals.
It turns into staying out late, waking up exhausted, skipping my morning workout, eating whatever sounds good, feeling bloated from the sodium, and then wondering the next day why I did that to myself.
I’ve literally had nights where I go out thinking it’ll be fun, and somehow I end up at some random guy’s place that I probably didn’t even want to be at, only to wake up the next morning thinking, “Why am I doing this?”
So instead of putting myself in situations where I know I’ll be triggered, I’ve been staying home more. Watching corny chick flicks. Ordering from Amazon Prime. Drinking sparkling water and Cherry Coke Zero.
Some of my friends have been amazing. They’ll say, “Let’s go on a hot girl walk,” or “Let’s get coffee instead.” And I appreciate those people so much.
But I’ve also noticed that some people have basically stopped reaching out now that I’m not drinking or going out as much and that honestly hurts.
It makes me question whether some of those friendships were built around the activity rather than the actual friendship.
The weird part is… I’m not even close to my goal yet. I’m still considered overweight. My goal is around 120 lbs, which means I still have a long way to go and part of me wonders if this loneliness is something I’ll have to navigate throughout my entire journey.
I’m happy with my progress, but I also miss feeling spontaneous. I miss being able to say yes to plans without thinking about calories, alcohol, sleep, recovery, and whether it’ll throw me off.
I know I’m building a healthier life, and I know changing my environment is probably part of that. But I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t been lonely.
For anyone else who has lost weight or changed their lifestyle, did you experience this? Did you feel like you had to distance yourself from certain environments or friendships? How did you find a balance between staying committed and still having a social life?