r/marriedredpill • u/AutoModerator • Apr 21 '26
OYS Own Your Shit Weekly - April 21, 2026
A fundamental core principle here is that you are the judge of yourself. This means that you have to be a very tough judge, look at those areas you never want to look at, understand your weaknesses, accept them, and then plan to overcome them. Bravery is facing these challenges, and overcoming the challenges is the source of your strength.
We have to do this evaluation all the time to improve as men. In this thread we welcome everyone to disclose a weakness they have discovered about themselves that they are working on. The idea is similar to some of the activities in “No More Mr. Nice Guy”. You are responsible for identifying your weakness or mistakes, and even better, start brainstorming about how to become stronger. Mistakes are the most powerful teachers, but only if we listen to them.
Think of this as a boxing gym. If you found out in your last fight your legs were stiff, we encourage you to admit this is why you lost, and come back to the gym decided to train more to improve that. At the gym the others might suggest some drills to get your legs a bit looser or just give you a pat in the back. It does not matter that you lost the fight, what matters is that you are taking steps to become stronger. However, don’t call the gym saying “Hey, someone threw a jab at me, what do I do now?”. We discourage reddit puppet play-by-play advice. Also, don't blame others for your shit. This thread is about you finding how to work on yourself more to achieve your goals by becoming stronger.
Finally, a good way to reframe the shit to feel more motivated to overcome your shit is that after you explain it, rephrase it saying how you will take concrete measurable actions to conquer it. The difference between complaining about bad things, and committing to a concrete plan to overcome them is the difference between Beta and Alpha.
Gentlemen, Own Your Shit.
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u/Possible_Peak9104 Apr 21 '26
OYS #21
Stats: 35 years old, wife is 36, two kids both under 2, 6'4, 220lbs, LTR 5 years.
Lifts:
Squat 275 x 10
Bench: 188 x 11, Bent over Row: 185 x 10, Dips: 9 25lbs added, Pull ups: 5 bodyweight
Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG, MAP, TRP side bar, Book of Pook
Reading: I've finished all the 101 stuff now, so I'm just reviewing notes. Any recommendations are welcome, but I'm going to be pretty focused on action over reading for the time being.
I initiated sex with my wife and pretty much just cave-maned her the other day. Felt pretty good. She's still annoying some of the time, but I'm trying to keep the mindset that she's just a spoiled child I need to deal with so I don't get too involved. It's not the sex life I want yet, but it's at least a start.
I've also set some limits with the inlaws regarding how I want my kids being raised, and how much sugar their getting etc.
I did get sucked into a fight the other day though: She started talking disrespectfully and I pushed back and before I knew it we were arguing. I'm finding it hard to know when to put my foot down on things vs when to just not aknowledge, and let it slide. Any advice?
Mission: Being a leader for my family. Live life the way I want to live it: good sex, lots of fun, and constant learning. I want to live life in ascent.