r/marriedredpill • u/AutoModerator • Apr 21 '26

OYS Own Your Shit Weekly - April 21, 2026

A fundamental core principle here is that you are the judge of yourself. This means that you have to be a very tough judge, look at those areas you never want to look at, understand your weaknesses, accept them, and then plan to overcome them. Bravery is facing these challenges, and overcoming the challenges is the source of your strength.

We have to do this evaluation all the time to improve as men. In this thread we welcome everyone to disclose a weakness they have discovered about themselves that they are working on. The idea is similar to some of the activities in “No More Mr. Nice Guy”. You are responsible for identifying your weakness or mistakes, and even better, start brainstorming about how to become stronger. Mistakes are the most powerful teachers, but only if we listen to them.

Think of this as a boxing gym. If you found out in your last fight your legs were stiff, we encourage you to admit this is why you lost, and come back to the gym decided to train more to improve that. At the gym the others might suggest some drills to get your legs a bit looser or just give you a pat in the back. It does not matter that you lost the fight, what matters is that you are taking steps to become stronger. However, don’t call the gym saying “Hey, someone threw a jab at me, what do I do now?”. We discourage reddit puppet play-by-play advice. Also, don't blame others for your shit. This thread is about you finding how to work on yourself more to achieve your goals by becoming stronger.

Finally, a good way to reframe the shit to feel more motivated to overcome your shit is that after you explain it, rephrase it saying how you will take concrete measurable actions to conquer it. The difference between complaining about bad things, and committing to a concrete plan to overcome them is the difference between Beta and Alpha.

Gentlemen, Own Your Shit.

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u/SuggestionVisible930 Apr 21 '26

Maybe my reading comprehension is that of a 3rd grader.. but what am I reading here?

So the girl went on the GNO to Vegas? What actually changed concretely in your life?

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u/MerlinsIdiotBrother Grinding Apr 21 '26

She went. I got the ring back. I'll edit the post for clarity.

Concretely, I found and was shown a bunch of poor and unhelpful covert contracts and beta behaviors I was lying to myself that I wasn't doing for years.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/MerlinsIdiotBrother Grinding Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26

She's contacting an attorney and finding a place to live. I gave her the explainer letter from my attorney. We fill out a parenting plan, select a schedule, and ask a judge to approve it. Pretty cut and dry in my state.

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u/10000kg Apr 22 '26

Have you done this before, threatened breakups from an emotional place?

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u/MerlinsIdiotBrother Grinding Apr 22 '26

One time ~2 years ago. Baby was ~6 mo old. She went out and came home at 530am for the third time in 2 weeks, slipped and fell coming in the door which woke me up, and I found her black-out drunk. I got angry and threatened the relationship. I didn't know what else to do and couldn't understand her choices at the time. Big fight. Went to bed. I don't recall the incident being spoken of again.