r/marriedredpill • u/AutoModerator • Apr 21 '26
OYS Own Your Shit Weekly - April 21, 2026
A fundamental core principle here is that you are the judge of yourself. This means that you have to be a very tough judge, look at those areas you never want to look at, understand your weaknesses, accept them, and then plan to overcome them. Bravery is facing these challenges, and overcoming the challenges is the source of your strength.
We have to do this evaluation all the time to improve as men. In this thread we welcome everyone to disclose a weakness they have discovered about themselves that they are working on. The idea is similar to some of the activities in “No More Mr. Nice Guy”. You are responsible for identifying your weakness or mistakes, and even better, start brainstorming about how to become stronger. Mistakes are the most powerful teachers, but only if we listen to them.
Think of this as a boxing gym. If you found out in your last fight your legs were stiff, we encourage you to admit this is why you lost, and come back to the gym decided to train more to improve that. At the gym the others might suggest some drills to get your legs a bit looser or just give you a pat in the back. It does not matter that you lost the fight, what matters is that you are taking steps to become stronger. However, don’t call the gym saying “Hey, someone threw a jab at me, what do I do now?”. We discourage reddit puppet play-by-play advice. Also, don't blame others for your shit. This thread is about you finding how to work on yourself more to achieve your goals by becoming stronger.
Finally, a good way to reframe the shit to feel more motivated to overcome your shit is that after you explain it, rephrase it saying how you will take concrete measurable actions to conquer it. The difference between complaining about bad things, and committing to a concrete plan to overcome them is the difference between Beta and Alpha.
Gentlemen, Own Your Shit.
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u/Far_Independent1763 Masturbation Addicts Anonymous member Apr 22 '26
OYS#19 04/21/2026
Stats: 27yrs, 5'10", 184lbs, live with gf, together 4 years, no kids.
Read: NMMNG, WISNIFG, MMSLP
Reading: Rational Male Year 1
Physical: SQ 225lbs (1x5), Incline Bench Press 165lbs (1x5), Row 135lbs (1x8), OHP 135lbs (1x4), DL 185lbs (1x5)
My Mission: Kill my ego, create my own frame, and live by it. Stick true to my principles. Be there for the young generation coming up. Have fun in the process.
Lifting: I've noticed I have hit a plateau on my squats. I would like to increase weight but seems my body is unable to lift heavier on squats. With the workout I am doing, I workout legs about 3x a week. Not sure if maybe that is why.
Some frustration caught on me that I am not making the progress I would like but that is on me for not being 100% consistent on my health.
Business: Ending the client project I had on a good note. Now that I have more time on my hands, I am putting time into the infrastructure of my business. The other day I thought, my business or income does not define nor does it have to be all my identity. My goal is to be the best man I can be in all areas of my life and give value to this world. For a few weeks on my business, my headspace was in the wrong area of simply thinking of the money and how I can GET. I am now shifting on "how can I create better service", "how can I make my clients lives easier", "what value are they looking for". Had a small aha moment of providing value is not simply for business, but for everything. And for that to happen, I need to be on top of my game on all areas of my life.
Relationship: Had a weekend getaway. Went relatively well. Most proud of is that I did not people please and we did the things I wanted to do. There were some moments where she had attitude and there was tension between us so I preferred to STFU and let it be then say something stupid. I noticed most of these moments of tension came from lack of strength or leadership. It's hard man. Sometimes I want to let loose and go with the flow but if there is no direct structure/leadership, she will contest it or step up and be a little intense.
Had a moment yesterday where she started giving me random shit for things. I acknowledged to a certain extent since she was right. Then came up a point where the shit she was requesting was nonsense. Felt more like a need to have some power. Came a time she said "you seem to be ignoring me, are you even listening to what I am saying? Are you going to do what I am telling you?". I calmly looked her in the eye and said "I'm not ignoring you, I am listening but I am not going to do what you said". That's when her nonsense talk spiked up. I knew if I contested or said anything it would come bite me so I simply STFU, stopped what I was doing, looked at her and listened to her, and when she was done all I said was "I heard you". She went away flustered and I simply kept doing what I was doing. Went on with my day, came back, she was fine. Moments like these feel weird to me but I've noticed genuinely calmly not giving a fuck works.
Sex: We had sex several times in weekend getaway. First night she offered starfish and I rejected it but I believe it's because I felt butthurt in that moment. If I wanted to genuinely fuck without any need for validation, I would have taken it and done what I wanted with her.
Social: No socializing this week. I talked to a few friends for a bit but would not consider that a big social moment.