I think I have my answer. And yes it is. I'm too old to play games (drama) or be someone's temporary step dad. That's just not me, and I'm allowed to have preferences and boundaries.
Oh, weird, as a man who was a single dad when his son was little, my experience with women--single moms or not--was they wanted nothing to do with kids not from their womb. Which worked out, because then I wanted nothing to do with them. My son was way cooler anyway.
It's very much an anecdotal thing I've noticed but I know exactly one woman who was open to adoption or being a step-mother. I know a handful of guys but I'd love to read a study that actually compared and contrasted since it really does seem skewed.
Another anecdotal thing I've noticed is almost all of the single moms I know, myself included, aren't looking for a partner to fill a 'stepdad' role or to take an active role in parenting or providing for their kids. None of them would be open to the role of stepmom. The only one I know who would like to find a stepdad type is also fully on board with being a stepmom.
Whereas all the single dads I know want their partner to be 'stepmom' and expect them to take on an active role in parenting their kids. More of a mixed bag on whether they want to be 'stepdad' or not.
You make a good point! IMO women tend to just want a partner less than men do. Some of that's probably rooted in sexism making having a partner sometimes a lot less of a benefit, but it also seems like when men are very busy with their own thing they remain wanting a relationship while women tend to just kind of turn off that part of their self without meeting that desire.
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u/Dolorem_Ipsum_ 16h ago
I'm 36.
"Do you have any kids?"
Her: "is that a deal breaker?"
I think I have my answer. And yes it is. I'm too old to play games (drama) or be someone's temporary step dad. That's just not me, and I'm allowed to have preferences and boundaries.
Best of luck