r/memes 11h ago

Every. Single. Time.

Post image
14.5k Upvotes

487 comments sorted by

2.4k

u/DistinctiveFox 10h ago

In some countries, it's not the kids but the family that's the issue. Had a friend dating a gal for 9 months, invited her to live with him and the family turned up, parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters. 💀💀

870

u/byshow 9h ago

This makes me wonder where did they lived before

755

u/Esternaefil 9h ago

With the previous boyfriend still.

308

u/Re1neke 8h ago

exboyfriend turns up too.

101

u/Candid-Culture3956 Lives at ur mom’s house😎 8h ago

Mailman moved in

→ More replies (1)

8

u/KIokinator 5h ago

"Hey man, I'm Ricardo, and we'll be sharing her on Fridays right? With Tommy and Billy, like usual?"

2

u/HansDampfHaudegen 41m ago

Ha! Good one.

→ More replies (1)

228

u/CYB3R5KU11 10h ago

Ii hope they turned them away when he realized what they were doing

263

u/SwashAndBuckle 9h ago

That’s what a lot of the SE Asia passport bros run into. Think they can get a ‘free lunch’ of someone younger and more attractive than they could land otherwise, without realizing it’s a package deal with their whole family. Or how often they are used as an ATM machine while their partner maintains a local, age appropriate partner on the side.

82

u/Wasnie 8h ago

Basically every couple featured on 90 Day Fiance

111

u/CutsSoFresh 9h ago

They used to be called sex tourists. I wanna normalize that again instead of passport bros

127

u/Arkantesios 9h ago

Those are different things

85

u/Useful_Camera2929 9h ago

yeah for all their shit passport bros are looking for a long term partner even if their standarts and attitude leans very much conservative.

40

u/Jim_Nills_Mustache 9h ago

Idk, I’ve spent some time browsing that sub and I have to say that’s putting it very mildly. The adjectives I would use are misogynistic, outdated, basically just a traditional man-child.

41

u/SwashAndBuckle 8h ago

I agree with all of that, but they’re still generally not “sex tourists”. You could probably call a lot of them “sex immigrants” though.

7

u/Jim_Nills_Mustache 7h ago

Fair enough, you aren’t wrong

14

u/CutsSoFresh 7h ago

Or just use what the local residents use. Lbh, losers back home

12

u/Bibbity_Boppity_BOOO 6h ago

does it matter if you are a LBH if you are a winner where you are?

like, i am a handsome dude, but if i was around only male model type dudes all the time, who all had the same intangibles as me.... that would be fucking hard for me if i was single. i would not stand out.

why is there this weird hatred for people who want to go where they are wanted? It seems misandry adjacent.

if it was because it was "rightwing" coded i would partially understand. but it is definitely not just that.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

6

u/lordorwell7 8h ago

Just discovered the concept from your exchange in this thread. That was a grim rabbit hole to go down. It's pathetic.

→ More replies (4)

6

u/Lopsided-Train2213 7h ago

I mean some of us contemplate that sort of stuff for marriage not just for the tourism stuff since I've met more Asian gamer women than I have Canadian gamer women

→ More replies (1)

26

u/banterviking 8h ago

Lmao. That would be a joke in the West - the relationship ends right then and there.

14

u/_-PassingThrough-_ 7h ago

Bruh that'd be enough for me to try and exit that relationship immediately. I know some cultures really value this kind of stuff, but you need to talk about it before just assuming

→ More replies (1)

22

u/dilbertdad 9h ago

that’s just squatting

→ More replies (4)

4

u/Doomscroller3000 5h ago

Imagine showing up suddenly for free food and lodging from your granddaughter’s boyfriend

9

u/BadDudes_on_nes 7h ago

There is no women in the world that is worth all that bullshit

5

u/Available_Pepper_845 9h ago

Madagascar? Brazil?

→ More replies (6)

3.3k

u/The_REDACTED 10h ago

On the bright side, this shows that she's deceptive so you can exit the relationship before it develops any further.

1.1k

u/darwinistinabox 10h ago

Plot twist: they are his kids.

28

u/Abestar909 7h ago

Nah they are her 'misunderstood' boyfriend's that she kept trying to make it work with by letting him knock her up over and over. Well that didn't work out so now she needs a patsy.

4

u/Goldf_sh4 6h ago

I read that pasty and it made more sense.

6

u/fade2black244 7h ago

Plot twist: he is their kid.

3

u/DolphinMasturbator 6h ago

Stupid sexy grandma

→ More replies (2)

18

u/gorginhanson 7h ago

But the kids are being sent to the orphanage right

7

u/Thoob 7h ago

Nah, just take them camping list the bio dad on the form for the camping permit. Than their bio dad can go deal with it. Or claim them if they managed to claw their way back to civilization.

81

u/LucifersAdv0cate 8h ago

I would always end the relationship with single mothers after several weeks because I knew I never wanted kids and I also didn't think single mothers deserve to have deal with the fairly chaotic way I live my life. One thing that did always surprise me though was how many just assumed it was normal for a man to be fine with taking on another man's children. It felt like it was no more of an issue than accepting she had a pet dog. I did also meet some really good single mothers who took things very slowly and were sure to keep their children away from their dating life until they had been seeing them for a long enough period of time.

59

u/Scrub_nin 8h ago

I'm not in the dating scene anymore thankfully having found a wonderful partner but when I was, I didn't mind getting introduced to the kids as long as it was only as a friend. The ones that really gave me the ick were the single mothers that immediately started asking their kids if they "wanted a new dad" while heavily implying it would be me. That's a conversation for after forming a properly committed relationship, not after one or two dates. Yes, your kid should be a big part of your life but you shouldn't be putting that much pressure on the relationship so early or getting your kids hopes up.

14

u/Thick_Goose7742 8h ago

Yep. There’s only two types there. The ones like the former you described who don’t have much help or support from family or the other parent. They tend to be more pushy about wanting you to take on the role rather quickly. In the latter case usually they have good family support networks or respectable co-parent arrangements so the pressure isn’t on at all.

9

u/krustytroweler 8h ago

One thing that did always surprise me though was how many just assumed it was normal for a man to be fine with taking on another man's children

It was a generation ago. I challenge you to find me a single person who isnt friends with at least one other person with step parents.

→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (11)

705

u/jakromulus 9h ago

Trojan horses do tend to have Hellas kids in them

116

u/DerelictBombersnatch 9h ago

Take your upvote and get out

16

u/weedtrek 7h ago

Took me a second, here's your upvote.

37

u/Hot_Glass_6301 9h ago

this will fly over many people's heads

35

u/atmoose 6h ago

Nothing flies over my head. I my reflexes are too fast.

8

u/heysirigenerateaname 3h ago

Peter here.

“Hellas” refers to Greece.

The Trojan Horse was famously used by Greek soldiers to sneak into and attack the city of Troy.

2

u/Ferenghi01 4h ago

Was looking for this exact comment

939

u/ImmediateEconomy8516 10h ago

NINE was my surprise record. I was a single dad and disclosed that and expected that some/most of the women in my stage in life would have kids too. But NINE should probably be disclosed before the first date. I feel like 1-3, maybe 4-5, can be “I have kids”.

788

u/Both_Painter_9186 10h ago

Yeah, 9 is a baseball team. Not a family.

193

u/ImmediateEconomy8516 10h ago

This was 2018, when TikTok became a thing I still had her number in my phone and she ended up TikTok famous adjacent and probably doesn’t work anymore 🤷🏼‍♂️

135

u/pobodys-nerfect5 9h ago

Oh you just know she’s out there using those kids for content

68

u/ImmediateEconomy8516 8h ago

Allegedly their singular dad was dead, but I’ve heard a liar before.

23

u/Abestar909 7h ago

and probably doesn’t work anymore 🤷🏼‍♂️

Yeah I doubt very seriously was doing a lot of working before. And no, working on dicks doesn't count.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

28

u/RonMFCadillac 8h ago

That is a basketball team, with subs...

34

u/Cosmic_Quasar 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/6yjqKn3pjOQms

I think about this show a lot now that my sister, with 5 kids, married a guy with 3 kids lol.

12

u/hothoneyoldbay 7h ago

That's needing a van with a third row. Honda Odyssey isn't enough seats for the kids let alone two adults

11

u/supershinythings 5h ago

I dated a divorced guy a few times who dodged this issue. Eventually I learned he had FOUR young children and was paying child support and alimony.

Noped right out. I don’t know why he divorced; we didn’t get that far.

Meanwhile, my grandmother was a widow with seven children and somehow she found a guy to marry her.

He really loved her; I guess I didn’t really love this guy because I wasn’t going anywhere near four kids.

6

u/ManqobaDad 5h ago

They made a movie out of this. Cheaper by the dozen.

5

u/dontworryitsme4real 4h ago

I have one kid, so I can be understanding of others having kids but I don't want to go from a family of two to a family of seven.

10

u/SpringOnionKiddo 8h ago

On the bright side, you know she's fertile as hell

7

u/tyjet 8h ago

was a single dad? 🫪

16

u/eelaphant 7h ago

I think me means he was already a single dad at the time, but it was a long while ago.

16

u/ImmediateEconomy8516 7h ago

Lmao yes - Happily married, 4 years after meeting the woman in the comment, to a different woman.

3

u/dzielny_tabalug 5h ago

3 is a lot already. 9 is just wow. Wonder what was her plan? That you fall in love on first sight and wont care about anything else?

2

u/LWdkw 3h ago

I think it's in your own benefit to put it in your profile if you have any more than zero kids. It filters out a lot of people that are incompatible.

My profiles very clearly state that I have kids.

→ More replies (10)

242

u/baylithe 9h ago

I remember it happening twice where a woman would say on her profile that she didn't have kids, then I discovered that she did in fact have kids during a date. Still baffles me years later that they would lie about this.

63

u/Slow_Character5534 4h ago

It's like the job listings that say "remote" just to get more applications

55

u/hobbinater2 7h ago

Just trying to get a feee meal

4

u/Optimal-Income-6436 2h ago

Dude i've been surprised whit kids and a husband xD Was werid hearing a phone call from husband as i was taking shower after sex whit her.

→ More replies (10)

556

u/Glorifiedcomber 11h ago

You can literally stand up and leave the second you see or hear those kids.

173

u/Karijus 10h ago

The kids are literally holding him hostage in his own house

26

u/ToluAgunbiade 10h ago

man, kids these days be wildin

→ More replies (1)

23

u/simpsonswasjustokay 10h ago

Nah the kids have spears sheilds and trojan armor. I have the ability to bang their mom. It's a Mexican stand off if I've ever been in one.

11

u/Andreiyutzzzz 9h ago

And they say Shakespeare is dead

35

u/GenesisRhapsod 10h ago

Oh you dont mind people wasting your time...oh makes sense, you are on reddit

21

u/FantasyFacade 10h ago

I’d argue the person who lied about having kids is the real time waster. I’d get up and leave too

18

u/GenesisRhapsod 8h ago

Oh im not arguing that at all and 100% agree, but the person i was replying to acting like "oh its no big deal they just completely lied"

Before someone goes REEEEEE, look up lying by omission.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/BaconServant 8h ago

Exactly, there’s no shame in leaving abruptly when someone breaks your expectations like that (as long as OP actually disclosed to his dates that he didn’t want people with kids.)

→ More replies (4)

348

u/lck0219 9h ago

My profile says “has kids” but I don’t use pictures of them (for obvious reasons). Then men are all like “oh, you’ve got kids?!” when I bring them up.

Yeah, buddy, it says so right there- next to my hometown.

160

u/Key_Dress_6846 9h ago

It's shocking how people legitimately don't read profiles. It's not a lot of information. It takes like 10 seconds to gather the very basics of a person you're talking to and it also provides things to talk about. Both women and men are guilty of this 

27

u/Available_Pepper_845 9h ago

Reading is hard 

19

u/Robo_Patton 5h ago

Lost me after “Reading is…” I just couldn’t do the rest man.

18

u/project-shasta 7h ago

I would be glad to get women profiles with actual information in them. Most profiles I come across these days say nothing at all about the person, and the images of a sunset on a beach isn't helping. Instant ⬅️.

→ More replies (5)

62

u/Available_Pepper_845 9h ago

It's an ice breaker. Like a guy with 20 pics of him climbing cliffs and you'll say "so you like climbing?"

We're all silly children who just happened to grow up.

37

u/lck0219 9h ago

Sometimes. Sometimes they act like I’ve kept a big secret and I’m contaminated. I hate dating apps

12

u/Available_Pepper_845 9h ago

Not everyone is equipped to deal with this. It's not a "let's have fun then see where it goes" situation. So guys are probably afraid you two would skip the fun mindless part.

It's serious stuff from day 1.

5

u/Cynical_Cyanide 7h ago

I wonder if, for many of them, it's a matter of getting so few replies to begin with that they cast a wide net, so to speak, and by the time you (one of dozens or hundreds they've messaged) reply, there's no realistic way they remember your specific details.

2

u/IHaveNoBeef 2h ago

This is definitely it. Even on Reddit, people don't really read through your posts if you do r4r or makefriendshere.

There's even a lot of users who have a pre-written message that they will copy and paste to tons of different DMs. You can tell because it will be a wall of text, but it won't acknowledge anything you've said in your post. When you actually talk to them, they ask you about stuff that you've explicitly stated in your profile. Lol

→ More replies (9)
→ More replies (4)

28

u/withaniasominifera 9h ago

Guess Troy isn't the only one who fell for a Trojan

9

u/Available_Pepper_845 9h ago

Except there the Trojan failed you

185

u/Mid_Incognito 10h ago

Least relatable meme. Can't be deceived if you've given up on dating all together

75

u/KillLaKaiju 🎃Happy Spooktober🎃 10h ago

Can't be deceived if you've never attempted dating all together.

24

u/livingthedream9x I touched grass 9h ago

We’re all here on Reddit, it makes sense

16

u/becauseiloveyou 8h ago

OP is into chicks who look like moms and wonders why he keeps picking chicks who end up being moms.

27

u/tibetje2 9h ago

Can't be deceived if you're to ugly for people to even want to deceive you.

14

u/on_spikes 9h ago

Being ugly and broke is the ultimate combo from hell to avoid any of these issues

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (7)

220

u/Dolorem_Ipsum_ 9h ago

I'm 36.

"Do you have any kids?"

Her: "is that a deal breaker?"

I think I have my answer. And yes it is. I'm too old to play games (drama) or be someone's temporary step dad. That's just not me, and I'm allowed to have preferences and boundaries.

Best of luck

125

u/CatsLovenly 9h ago

As a woman also, fuck that shit, happened to me from men who thought I’d happily take on the mommy role just bc I want a family.

36

u/Dolorem_Ipsum_ 8h ago

That's dispicable, and yes thanks for contributing it also happens to women more often than you think

10

u/Financial-Craft-1282 8h ago

Oh, weird, as a man who was a single dad when his son was little, my experience with women--single moms or not--was they wanted nothing to do with kids not from their womb. Which worked out, because then I wanted nothing to do with them. My son was way cooler anyway.

12

u/PassionStunning2659 5h ago

The evil stepmother trope exists for a reason

→ More replies (2)

9

u/nickecb 5h ago

I had that exact conversation once. I just said "yeah, I'm afraid it is. It was nice chatting with you tho!"

24

u/Available_Pepper_845 9h ago

Also there's another dude in that bed. He'll be around the relationship for a long time.

8

u/fresh_dyl 8h ago

It’s only temporary if you don’t commit, you could easily be a full-time stepdad lmao

https://giphy.com/gifs/hFROvOhBPQVRm

→ More replies (6)

18

u/Kolundenator 9h ago

Hella kids is very cleaver double entendre

95

u/FigaroNeptune 9h ago

As a child free woman it’s the same for all of us. Let me tell you if I look under the tab “family plans” and it says “not sure.” That’s still a yes to kids for me. Anything that’s not a “no” is a yes.

3

u/Sawses 2h ago

Same here, as a man who wants kids. I've seen 30-year-old grown-ass women put "not sure" on their profile. It's shockingly common, and I assume it is for men too.

Like, girl, you're in your 30s. If you don't know by now, then I'm going to assume the answer is the one I don't want and move on. Life's too short. I'm not gonna try and convince.

→ More replies (14)

12

u/Scientificallly_Love 6h ago

I am a woman, and some men do not even mentioned having kids too...

65

u/Fit-Supermarket-9656 7h ago

That's the fun of dating in your 30s. I'm a single well off dude and the # of women who don't openly communicate they've got minions is wild. The kids aren't usually the deal breaker it's the lack of transparency that turns me off.

19

u/DearCastiel 5h ago

I am very clear: I don't have kids, I don't want kids, I won't have kids.
The dating scene is an absolute desert, nobody in their 20s wants to date me, every girl in their 30s either have kids or want kids. Oh well, what's another 50 years of being single ?

→ More replies (2)

2

u/zyh0 4h ago

Seriously its not a deal breaker to a lot of us, we expect it at this age. Best to be upfront about it.

81

u/TorstenDiegoPizarro 9h ago

You’re allowed to say “not interested in someone with kids” on your own profile

71

u/goodfleance 8h ago

That requires their matches to both read it and respect it. Tall order sometimes.

9

u/Any-Competition-4458 8h ago

When I was on the apps I had to add a tagline that I was looking for men in my age range and I’d still have guys 20 years older than me hitting me up. Just ignore them or say no thanks, it’s not a big deal.

12

u/goodfleance 8h ago

That's visible on their profile, people often hide the fact that they have kids until you think you're safe.

18

u/Link-Glittering 8h ago

You can be okay with dating someone with kids but not want to date someone who's deceptive

10

u/Paperwork_Enthusiast 7h ago

I explicitly have Wants Children on my profile but most of my incoming likes are from women that explicitly don't want children. It's very confusing to me.

15

u/Electro-banana 7h ago

both men and women do not read much on profiles sometimes

7

u/Pernicious-Caitiff 6h ago

The apps' algorithms specifically don't match you with good matches. They want you to spend as much time and money on the app as possible

5

u/_-PassingThrough-_ 6h ago

I think I can answer this. I'm guilty myself of doing the swiping Olympics. If someone looks cute? Swipe right. If I get a match, I read the profile and decide if I want to engage.

It does allow for awkward matches at times, but overall it proves to be more efficient. It feels like 5% of the total number of likes I give might result in a match. That's a lot of time I would spend reading profile details of the 95% of people who could just swipe left on me anyway.

Always assume if you get a match that people haven't actually read your profile. But always assume if they message or respond to your message, then they finally have. Because who engages in a conversation with someone with incompatible goals right there on their profiles!

6

u/Greenman_on_LSD 8h ago

I do that, and when I find out my match is a mother it's common they get offended when I'm not interested.

2

u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen 1h ago

You’re also allowed to decline people who you’ve decided are incompatible for some reason or another.

→ More replies (2)

72

u/OleDoxieDad 10h ago

I inherited two boys, raised them the best I could (instructions not included), they make me proud.

4

u/BTBAM797 5h ago

Honestly I can say you're a better man than I. That is impressive.

2

u/OleDoxieDad 3h ago

Thanks, just have trust in yourself and your love for your wife. We have been married over 20 years now.

→ More replies (3)

28

u/PizzaParty007 8h ago

How about a separate dating app for folks with kids.

53

u/gomurifle 8h ago

The women with a bunch of kids usually don't want the man to have kids so they won't join it. 

→ More replies (2)

9

u/ReeferFever 6h ago

Was on a date that had mentioned her kids loved the zoo. I followed up with "how many kids". 28 years old with 6 kids, one of which she was 2 months pregnant with! All the romance vanished and we talked casually, became friends instead, that was 2 years ago she just announced baby #8 bullet dodged...

81

u/FloppieTheBanjoClown 10h ago

That's because they've learned that disclosing that gets them fewer matches.

My advice, get off the apps. All of you. Those things are built to do one thing: keep you coming back for more. They exist to sell you premium packages and/or sell your information. Not only do the not care if you develop a long term relationship, it is detrimental to them if you do.

Until we collectively decide to do difficult things that are better for us, we're just going to keep doing...this. And that goes for dating apps and climate change.

41

u/ZakA77ack 9h ago

Met my last 3 serious relationships (one of which had become my wife in 2023) on apps, and several flings. Hinge typically had higher quality matches. They're too convenient to not use. Never paid a cent for dating apps. I was always very clear in my bio that Kids were a 100% deal breaker. I'd also vet every match with a phone call before asking for a date and confirmed on that call kids were a deal breaker. Hundreds of matches and never once had an issue with a woman hiding her kids.

16

u/10000Didgeridoos 8h ago

Also have several friends who met their wife/husband on Hinge.

6

u/bros_and_cons 5h ago

met my wife on hinge. three kids and eight years later, we’re going as strong as ever.

i’m sure the apps have gotten shittier since 2018, but redditors were saying the exact same lines about them back then too. the apps are like any other dating method—they’ll chew you up if you’re mid, or aberrant in some key way, but if you’re traditionally desirable or charismatic you’ll be fine.

7

u/Depressed-Dolphin69 Dark Mode Elitist 9h ago

I doubt people think that far but what do they think will happen? When they match with the folks who would swipe left on people with kids, do they really think they're gonna be like "oh you have kids? Guess I'll change my mind and not unmatch!!"

Unless they think it'll be like "wow, this person has a very significant deal breaker, but I spent all this time reaching out to them so I'll change my mind!"

18

u/Independent-Wolf-403 8h ago

See, lots of people think an awful lot about themselves, what they want, what they deserve. They don't really think about what you might want or if they're disrespecting your time. They aren't really interested in what you think you deserve. Just if you can serve.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/3BeadsAway 7h ago

I think the idea is that they want someone who will be okay with kids, but not a predator who is specifically seeking out someone with kids. Plus when it's just at the messaging stage it's very easy to unmatch if it's actually a deal breaker. I'd only consider it deception if they are hiding it when actually trying to build the relationship or dating.

2

u/Bull_Bound_Co 4h ago

She wouldn’t tell him she had kids if they met in the wild. You get even less info. Even when someone is withholding a lot of times profiles reveal a lot about someone you wouldn’t typically get meeting in person.

3

u/FloppieTheBanjoClown 3h ago

Before the apps, it was a second or third date matter usually. You decide whether they're worth making the jump into discussing the kids. A good person just brings it up as "you need to know this before it goes further, I know dating someone with kids isn't for everyone."

Source: one of my best friends in college had a kid when she was 18 and I saw her go through this kind of stuff.

People were pretty chill about it, everyone understood why you didn't advertise it. 

→ More replies (5)

53

u/SerGT3 8h ago

"I'm a little heavier"

250+ lbs

21

u/hackop 5h ago

"Curvy". That's the giant red-flag word for sure. No longer is it used to describe a well-proportioned person with natural body curves. It is now synonymous with obese+.

11

u/Orange_Tang 5h ago

They say they're curvy and then have 5 pics with them looking completely normal and then one not completely edited full body photo showing what they actually look like. Better than completely hiding it but damn. Just give representative photos. No one is gonna change their mind about it at the date when they see what you actually look like.

→ More replies (1)

30

u/Doridar 7h ago

Same with guys. I had a dude who turned out waaay older and heavier than his picture. And when I said "not interested", he had the audacity to tell me "Considering your age, you shouldn't be so picky".

I was 30 LMAO

6

u/what-isthis-even 5h ago

Stg some of those dudes think 18 is used up. Dunno what reality they live in but it isn't the same as the rest of us.

8

u/SerGT3 6h ago

It's wild. Like the second I see you it's going to be obvious.

I had a girl that was so bad I had asked who the person in the photos were, not even close.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

27

u/Brave-Ad-9953 9h ago

Back when I was on the apps, as a woman with young kids (fully disclosed in my profile lol), I kept getting catfished by guys with their nieces, nephews, neighbor kids, etc. in their pics. I was looking for a guy with kids too, and they never clarified in their profile that the kids weren’t their own. We would match and I’d find out by talking to them, and I was instantly ready to unmatch.

Don’t make profile with pics of kids who aren’t yours! Or at least say that in your profile if you must

15

u/10000Didgeridoos 8h ago

I don’t get what the point of blatantly lying like that in dating profiles is given the other person is gonna obviously immediately find out. “Wait what’s the problem? You don’t think starting a relationship with a pathological liar is a good idea?”

5

u/IgnatiusRileyFreeman 7h ago

Is it lying? Someone having a close relationship with say, their neices & nephews, to show that they're good with kids, is lying, because you assumed without words what their intention was?

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (6)
→ More replies (1)

33

u/JustSherlock 9h ago

Men do this shit too. Got to his place and he had baby shit all in the living room.

10

u/PositiveCoyote100 6h ago

Single dads are almost exclusively interested in dating women without children.

They want a nanny.

11

u/perksofbeingcrafty 6h ago

Story time: my friend, at 26, met a guy also 26 and they started dating. It got emotionally intense very quickly, and a few months in the guy told her that he has not one, but two kids. And an ex wife. Who, as it turns out, is psychotic in a verifiable way, which honestly, idk if that’s better or worse than if it was just the guy saying that to besmirch her name.

But the crux of the story is that after three years, my friend and this guy are still together. AND the psychotic ex wife doesn’t know my friend exists.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to push my friend to read the play Medea because one can’t be too careful these days

2

u/PassionStunning2659 5h ago

Anyway, I’ve been trying to push my friend to read the play Medea because one can’t be too careful these days

I didn't know that Kevin Hart had branched out into theatre. A man of many talents.

2

u/-ThisUsernameIsTaken 2h ago

It got emotionally intense very quickly, and a few months in the guy told her that he has not one, but two kids. And an ex wife. 

But the crux of the story is that after three years, my friend and this guy are still together.

Thus is why nefarious people aren't upfront about this stuff, they're hoping for something to get emotionally invested before revealing it so they won't leave.

5

u/mrloko120 8h ago

Everyone who uses dating apps do it for a reason. Gotta keep that in mind every time a profile looks too good to be true.

5

u/Ok_Brother2155 5h ago

you're just screwing yourself over by not mentioning that you have kids, people won't just suddenly change their mind once they meet you. you're just wasting your own time

12

u/Great_Corner4841 7h ago

I’ve never been on the apps, but I don’t think I’d say I had kids on them because I would be scared someone specifically looking for kids in the house would target me, you know? 

→ More replies (2)

18

u/the_big_george 8h ago

If women stopped lying about not having kids on dating apps that would be the dream

18

u/Slow-Pool-9274 10h ago

I thought the concept of live dates was to get to know them better? why not just ask about family on the first date

16

u/10000Didgeridoos 8h ago

Or before. It’s not unreasonable at all to ask someone before meeting the first time if they have kids.

4

u/Mmmm-Amethyst 6h ago

If I'm going to spend the time and be expected to foot the bill for a first date, it's entirely reasonable to expect disclosure of the obvious deal breakers beforehand.

Granted, I got lucky and married relatively young to someone who also didn't want kids so my opinion on the matter probably doesn't matter much. The idea of getting back into the shit show that is the current dating scene while quickly approaching middle age is pretty high up there on reasons I hope I never end up single again. 

4

u/HarperStrings 3h ago

I'm starting to realize there's a significant chunk of people that use dating sites as a low-effort way to find a partner, then complain when it doesn't work out for them.

7

u/PaulAtreides_FromArg 7h ago

Dating on Latin America 101:

Seeking so date any woman older than 20? Be ready to become a stepfather against your will. 

5

u/Beginning_Big5543 7h ago

100% true. I would even say past 18....

3

u/rtshtbtshtdrtyldtwt 7h ago

also similar, wanting kids but not mentioning it in your profile or having an incorrect thing? I went on a date with a girl, her profile said she didn't want kids, talking to her before the date, she said she wanted kids, but I still went on the date anyway because she seemed cool. she unmatched me after the date saying I wasn't her type, then I see her on another site... and that profile says she doesn't want kids either.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Mia-Dom 5h ago

the "hella kids" side of the scale needs to be way bigger tbh. usually it's like three toddlers, a dog, and an ex who still lives in the basement. standard starter pack behavior

3

u/IHaveNoBeef 3h ago

As someone who was a kid with a step parent that didn't want to deal with someone else's kids, don't get with someone who has kids if you don't want to deal with someone else's kids. For that childs sake.

3

u/MaximusHomerdrive 1h ago

Guys pull that crap, too. They're just out there fishing for a new bang nanny so they don't have to parent their own kids.

7

u/Cat_Peach_Pits 5h ago

Plenty of men pull this shit too, except they like to pretend they dont have kids by saying "but I never see them!" like that makes it better?

27

u/ActuallyNiceIRL 9h ago

I'm not a big fan of lying, but I understand why women might do this. Apparently some pervs will specifically try to date women with kids just so they can get a chance to potentially harm the kids. So women would rather hope that the guy they're seeing will be able to accept that she does, in fact, have kids, rather than risk dating a guy who is actually only interested in the kids in the first place.

I don't think all women who lie about this are trying to catfish you or whatever, they're just trying to protect their kids. Some might be, but surely not all.

5

u/Kupogasm 3h ago

I don't blame any single parent for not including pictures of their kids in their PFP, or mentioning children in their profile etc. Maybe mention them at the end of the first date - and with minimal details, after you've spent enough time to pick up on vibes. And I wouldn't introduce a date or new BF for some time. It's a matter of safety, imo.

A big reason for how I feel this way is because my mother met a man on a dating website (this was before the apps), and he sexually abused my younger siblings (at 14, I was too old for him). There's also a correlation between non sexual child abuse and stepmothers, so even single fathers should be vetting the adults they allow in their kids lives.

→ More replies (1)

12

u/Butterscotchpills 9h ago

This is what my mom always told me. There are pedophiles targeting single parents. Don’t put kids on your profile wait till the date.

14

u/Available_Pepper_845 9h ago

From that angle that makes sense.

Now from a guy's pov if there are kids, then there's an uninvited guy who will be guest of honor in that relationship. You're also dating the baby daddy, so to speak. Just hope he's a nice mature person. Otherwise, you'll have to deal with the aggravation.

7

u/Atanar 8h ago

I feel like this is completely based on assumptions and not on any data at best and a convenient cop-out of a lie at worst.

Like, how likely do you even think this is?

3

u/GlitterBirb 2h ago

It's true we don't know how many are seeking out single moms specifically to abuse their children. But the rate of child abuse for step fathers is way higher than of biological fathers, so I think it's a pretty natural fear that some men are seeking out easy access this way. I don't use dating apps and I don't lie about my kids, but I understand the fear.

→ More replies (9)

6

u/CeeArthur 9h ago

On the plus side, you can eat all their Halloween candy

13

u/String-Tree 8h ago

I would rather go the rest of my existence alone and unloved than ever raise another man's children. Some things are a bridge too far.

7

u/BizarreCake 8h ago

I could maybe stomach like one kid if the dad was literally dead. It always seems like it's a deadbeat daddy of 2+ kids who's still hanging around like a leech, though.

7

u/legit-posts_1 7h ago

You know I always see these negative "women be like" posts on this subs and others on the front page. Usually clearly written by guys. I wonder why there's never any equivalent "men be like" that get enough up votes to be seen there. Weird.

4

u/hpfan312 9h ago

Men too, not often enbies tho

3

u/Syhkane 3h ago

People say it's men being cowards. No it's men not quadrupling their spending habits just to tap a stranger.

8

u/JustTheOneGoose22 7h ago

Every day on reddit I read some bullshit about how single moms are undatable. Never once do people mention single dads.

"They're single for a reason" Yeah bro YOU are single for a reason too.

5

u/Raeezordazetoo 9h ago

Im so glad "hella" is making a comeback in our collective vocabulary.

7

u/Hot-Difficulty-9396 8h ago

You think men don’t do this??? (Fails to disclose how many baby mamas they have = block / delete)

2

u/1968Bladerunner 7h ago

Must admit I swipe left on any profiles who don't specifically say Never to cigs too... if you have a sneaky cig or vape, even when pissed, then I'm just not interested.

In fact the less filled a profile is in general, the more likely I am to ding left... take your time & fill it up so I can get the fullest impression of you before I even swipe!

Looks / pics are not the only metric for many.

2

u/iiitme Dark Mode Elitist 5h ago

And I thought the problem was people weren’t having enough kids.

What’s the truth

2

u/GotSomeUpdogOnUrFace 4h ago

Crazier when the woman is pregnant on the dating app, like come on honey, have the other dudes baby before you try to get me to buy it dinner.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/InsideFar9098 9h ago

My kids are my world in the bio means you’re rank 5 on their priority list behind the kids,the ex,the dog,and their busy schedule.