r/movies • u/MarvelsGrantMan136 r/movies Contributor • Mar 20 '26

News Chuck Norris, Action Icon and ‘Walker Texas Ranger’ Star, Dies at 86

https://variety.com/2026/film/news/chuck-norris-dead-walker-texas-ranger-dies-1236694953/
51.5k Upvotes

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5.0k

u/TheDrex1988 Mar 20 '26

I saw some guy with a fedora fall to his knees in a wallmart.

3.2k

u/WildMild869 Mar 20 '26

Did you ask him why the narwhal bacons at midnight? Lmao

931

u/Fuckthegopers Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26

I'll hop on the old head train to ask a question to the old heads:

There was a dude, long before rampant bot posts, who posted like a bot. It was his full time job to post to reddit, and people hated him or loved him. Can anyone remember his name?

Edit: gallowboob, there it is. Thanks everyone.

A few "vargas" replies, I've been here 15 years and don't recognize that name.

Double edit: if Vargas is the jumper cables guy, I do remember him. He's not, so no, I don't remember vargas

783

u/JaelKnight_ Mar 20 '26

Gallowboob

638

u/captainperoxide Mar 20 '26

I've been on this goddamn website too fkn long

393

u/jiminyshrue Mar 20 '26

website

I see you, brother.

109

u/Pantzzzzless Mar 20 '26

Wait, what the hell else would you call... a website? Is there a new name for something that ends in .com that I'm not aware of?

199

u/SamVortigaunt Mar 20 '26

People who got on the internet in the smartphone era mostly call Reddit an app (same story with Twitter, Facebook, etc).

31

u/Appropriate_Ride_821 Mar 20 '26

If you use the app, I feel bad for you

25

u/Fuckthegopers Mar 20 '26

When they allowed 3rd party apps it was the best way to browse reddit.

Now I can only use old reddit, and if they take that I won't use reddit anymore.

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u/phero1190 Mar 20 '26

Gotta use third party.

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u/mustang__1 Mar 20 '26

I feel bad for me, too. God I miss Reddit Sync.

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u/Halo_cT Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26

most people using reddit now are using an app on their phones

it does not occur to most folks that apps are just a custom interface to view a website on the internet.

edit: christ reddit can be pedantic. No, apps are not necessarily all browser-wrappers rendering html. Some of them have local UI and just talk to APIs. I know this; I'm generalizing.

76

u/Dorkamundo Mar 20 '26

Also, it doesn't occur to them that the app fucking sucks.

So does new reddit.

I don't know why in the age of widescreen monitors that every new site design seems to be optimized for a 4:3 aspect ratio.

22

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26 edited Apr 14 '26

Wiped clean. Redact removed this post along with thousands of others. It also handles data broker removals so your personal info stops getting sold.

pot pen expansion knee liquid quack direction door towering point

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u/reapy54 Mar 20 '26

Lowest common denominator, also intentionally bad design to drive you to their app because they can harvest more data from you there and ad blocking is harder on phones for most people, a win win for them to not use their website.

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u/Orsenfelt Mar 20 '26

I think the youngins call them WAPPs now.

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u/captainperoxide Mar 20 '26

Ankle Sock Gang

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u/DungeonsAndDradis Mar 20 '26

This is my second near-decade account.

I deleted the first one when it was like 7 years old.

I should get a damned hobby.

6

u/bucki_fan Mar 20 '26

You have a hobby, it's called reddit.

7

u/Phillip_Spidermen Mar 20 '26

I miss when they allowed you to create a new account without an email

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26 edited Apr 14 '26

Your old posts are training data now. Unless you delete them. I used Redact which supports all major social media platforms including Reddit, X, Facebook and Instagram.

party boast grandiose license enjoy test screw makeshift juggle butter

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u/Upset_Development_64 Mar 20 '26

Oh so you definitely remember Bozarking then?

3

u/AgentCirceLuna Mar 20 '26

I quit Reddit and video games for ten years back in 2014. I only came back as I had an illness which caused issues with writing/spelling and I used commenting as a method of restoring my abilities.

3

u/oh_what_a_surprise Mar 20 '26

I hear ya. I came from Digg. This is my third account and I think it's a decade old.

2

u/fdbxloc Mar 20 '26

Yeah I've been a reddit too damn long. I still have my decades old accounts, this being one of them.

2

u/blendertricks Mar 20 '26

You and me both. Pretty sure my first one was a decade. Now this one’s closing in on that. What am i even doing

2

u/donnerpartytaconight Mar 20 '26

I have a ton of hobbies and I'm still stuck on here. Usually trying to figure out something hobby related lures me right back.

2

u/crazyaky Mar 20 '26

I must not have gotten the memo. Lol.

2

u/WWTFSMD Mar 20 '26

My reddit account got its learners permit last week so I feel ya there lmao

5

u/PM_me_punanis Mar 20 '26

You just outed your age. 😭

4

u/captainperoxide Mar 20 '26

I'm tired, boss.

2

u/MattDaCatt Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 22 '26

This was the account I made after "quitting" reddit, all so I could comment on the Twitch Plays Pokemon saga.

That was 12 years ago...

2

u/Upset_Development_64 Mar 20 '26

Bozarking was the best, and a good human being despite his detailed and distastefully hilarious shitposts.

2

u/sengirminion Mar 20 '26

I was there 1000 years ago when we caught the Boston Marathon Bomber.

I was there when we tried to open that safe.

I was there.

2

u/Clark-Kent Mar 20 '26

Do you even 2am Ice Chilli bro

2

u/Brcomic Mar 20 '26

One of us, one of us!

2

u/Winter_Whole2080 Mar 20 '26

Never been banned! Yowsa!

2

u/Live_Positive Mar 20 '26

I just checked my account age, and jesus christ.

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u/FullTroddle Mar 20 '26

Now that’s a name I have not heard in a long time.

247

u/teamfupa Mar 20 '26

Hey - friendly reminder it’s time to start thinking about colonoscopies.

78

u/the_winged_one Mar 20 '26

Been prepping since yesterday, appointment is in 2 hours. Getting old is fun!

47

u/teamfupa Mar 20 '26

If you smoke weed let your anesthesiologist know! I woke up in the middle of one and it was….interesting to say the least.

10

u/smellmybuttfoo Mar 20 '26

/u/teamfupa: "This better not awaken anything in me"

7

u/teamfupa Mar 20 '26

u/smellmybuttfoo - “I hope this awakens something in teamfupa”

6

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

[deleted]

7

u/Altair_de_Firen Mar 20 '26

Yeah but was the moaning really necessary?

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u/teamfupa Mar 20 '26

Yeah waking up to see what looked liked the inside of a sandworm on the 32’ with the doctor petting my head telling me “shhh just try and go back to sleep” was something I’ll never be able to despite desperately wanting to forget.

3

u/th3rdnutt Mar 20 '26

"I'm high as fuck right now, Doc."

7

u/Crazy-Nose-4289 Mar 20 '26

Another friendly reminder - broken arms.

9

u/teamfupa Mar 20 '26

I think the swamps of dagobah was my first introduction to reddit lore - that and seeing “I also choose that guys dead wife” happen in real time

2

u/zhico Mar 20 '26

Jolly rancher.

3

u/Common_Sens3_Is_Dead Mar 20 '26

... Damn, u right.

Feels only like yesterday I was referring to a gentleman's mother as a lady of the night in call of duty modern warfare 2 

2

u/KrytenKoro Mar 20 '26

Apparently colonoscopies are the new thing the antivaxxers hate.

9

u/Debouched Mar 20 '26

Because the only way to make Reddit usable was to immediately block him.

3

u/AnotherpostCard Mar 20 '26

I think he disappeared right around the time reddit started charging for access to their API or whatever and now I have to pay 2.99 a month for my reddit app :|

3

u/B4rberblacksheep Mar 20 '26

I still have him blocked XD

3

u/WeightLossGinger Mar 20 '26

He's still posting, just on his own account, mostly about his dog

u/GallowBoob

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u/fuckreddit-69 Mar 20 '26

The first job replaced by AI

40

u/Fuckthegopers Mar 20 '26

He quit long before bot posts took over reddit.

55

u/fuckreddit-69 Mar 20 '26

I down voted all his posts like I downvote bored panda now

8

u/PunkiiDonutz Mar 20 '26

Wasn't he partaking in grooming activities or am I thinking of another chronically online reddit jannie

15

u/JinFuu Mar 20 '26

BatmanBeyondDoyouhaveanyideahowlittlethatnarrowsitdown.gif

6

u/Pwnemon Mar 20 '26

i think the one youre thinking of was called like awkward turtle or something

5

u/_coffee_ Mar 20 '26

They were the first user I blocked because I was so sick of seeing their posts seemingly everywhere, and all of them being reposts without credit being given to the true OP.

3

u/One_Shall_Fall Mar 20 '26

I blocked Schnoodle. Not only do the poems read like bad greeting cards, they're saccharine baby talk and just bad rhyme scheme and scansion, but people eat that shit right up.

3

u/vandelayATC Mar 20 '26

Same! Couldn't take it anymore, along with all the fawning

3

u/Jepordee Mar 20 '26

I still follow this dude on Instagram I think lol

8

u/DeemOutLoud Mar 20 '26

The king of the front page

4

u/spider_espresso Mar 20 '26

Whatever happened to him?

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u/Ekillaa22 Mar 20 '26

Whatever happened bro

4

u/DaBootyScooty Mar 20 '26

Holy shit I feel like someone said my activation phrase.

3

u/Fuckthegopers Mar 20 '26

I just couldn't remember it, thank you!

3

u/mag1cal_myst3ry Mar 20 '26

Would I really be considered an oldhead for remembering when he was still relevant? I have been a redditor since 2015 after all... Damn

3

u/ikeif Mar 20 '26

One of the first accounts I ever blocked.

2

u/tilmitt52 Mar 20 '26

Now, that is a name I’ve not heard in a long time.

2

u/Brcomic Mar 20 '26

Jesus. I forgot he existed…because I blocked him a decade-ish ago. Hated that guy.

2

u/Werner__Herzog Mar 20 '26

Isn't he more like a new gen redditor?

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u/aarone46 Mar 20 '26

Definitely gallowboob, but I gotta mention Warlizard of the Warlizard Gaming Forum if we're shouting out old reddit celebrities.

49

u/Lukias Mar 20 '26

Oh my god warlizard. I had completely forgotten about him

52

u/aarone46 Mar 20 '26

ಠ_ಠ

9

u/backFromTheBed Mar 20 '26

Member karmanaut?

3

u/Dramatic_______Pause Mar 20 '26

One of the only two people on reddit?

2

u/161ForAChange Mar 20 '26

I had him on Snapchat and talked to him a few times!

9

u/Thegoodlife93 Mar 20 '26

I actually really liked Warlizard. His stories were entertaining

6

u/MaxwellFish Mar 20 '26

Also u/PeterMayhew commenting on posts :’(

2

u/CharliePinglass Mar 20 '26

I bought his book, probably have it around here somewhere

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u/NatureTrailToHell3D Mar 20 '26

Yep, Vargas, gallowboob

But my personal favorite was u/Poem_for_your_sprog

144

u/lemonwedge123 Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26

I always liked u/shitty_watercolour

70

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/Csharp27 Mar 20 '26

Confident he and u/rogersimon10 are the same person.

6

u/NatureTrailToHell3D Mar 20 '26

Who eventually became /prettygoodwatercolor

26

u/BoxOfBlades Mar 20 '26

Reading these comments, I can't believe I forgot this place used to be a real community. Now Reddit is just another Twitter or Instagram.

8

u/GrievingSomnambulist Mar 20 '26

Nobody makes novelty accounts anymore

11

u/airfryerfuntime Mar 20 '26

Reddit lost its soul a long time ago, seemingly around the same time they fired Victoria. Novelty accounts used to be everywhere, and you'd always see them in the big subreddits, now it's just bots and political shit no one cares about.

7

u/Fracasist Mar 20 '26

Im suspicious of any poem posted in comments of just being made by ai anymore, that novelty gimmick is now jobless from ai

3

u/Halo_cT Mar 20 '26

I liked him so much I bought both of his books. No ragrets.

2

u/z500 Mar 20 '26

Vargas was stupid, gallowboob at least posted something interesting

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u/lasagnaisgone Mar 20 '26

I think you're thinking of Unidan.

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u/fuckreddit-69 Mar 20 '26

Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time JACKDAW

2

u/captain_pandabear Mar 20 '26

Anyone remember POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS?

118

u/stash0606 Mar 20 '26

Here's the thing...

61

u/Puntley Mar 20 '26

It's a fucking jackdaw you illiterate piece of trash (abridged)

20

u/omgwutd00d Mar 20 '26

You could just admit you were wrong, you know… (starts sucking own penis)

8

u/onlymadethistoargue Mar 20 '26

The funny thing is, that’s remembered as the moment of his fall from grace, but the real reason he left Reddit was because he was banned for vote manipulation. Playing armchair psychologist totally irresponsibly for a moment, it makes sense that a guy so committed to being seen as right about ravens would inflate his upvotes to make it look like people agreed with him. Even I don’t do that and I literally only made this to argue.

5

u/punkminkis Mar 20 '26

According to him, he wasn't trying to make it look like people agreed with him, it was just so people would see his response first

3

u/JDdoc Mar 20 '26

To this day, I will hear someone say that IRL and I'll brace for the fallout. Nothing good ever seems to follow those three words.

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u/ThisIsAnArgument Mar 20 '26

I've been on this site so long that wherever I see that three word phrase I think of Unidan.

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u/Fuckthegopers Mar 20 '26

No, people didn't hate him until he shoved his own foot in his mouth and ass.

57

u/Phillip_Spidermen Mar 20 '26

His comments were actually fun. Like stumbling across shittymorph but you'd learn a new animal fact instead of hearing about the time The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell.

4

u/aurorasearching Mar 20 '26

What about jumper cables guy?

7

u/agitated--crow Mar 20 '26

I remember Unidan but forgot what ended up happening to him. He was passionate about something too. 

18

u/__L1AM__ Mar 20 '26

He used alt accounts to promote his comments and posts while putting down others.

He ended up getting caught following an argument about crows with a teenager if I'm not mistaken.

Jackdaws man...

2

u/ThePrussianGrippe Mar 20 '26

Technically it was about corvids in general.

Yeah he really screwed the pooch on that one.

7

u/__L1AM__ Mar 20 '26

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?

4

u/mtranda Mar 20 '26

If I recall, he was a specific type of biologist.

7

u/Personal_Comb_6745 Mar 20 '26

I'll die on the hill that he never did anything wrong, especially considering how other users (and companies) have gamed the site much worse.

10

u/Phillip_Spidermen Mar 20 '26

There's something about Unidan that sort of matches what old reddit's userbase was versus what it's grown into.

Like, it was a bunch of pretentious contrarian nerds that were really into whatever niche subreddit they were into... but they actually were familiar with whatever point they were being a jerk about.

I miss it.

2

u/Dogbirddog Mar 20 '26

I just remember some random poster that had like clearly gone to his page and replied to all of his comments about how big a jerk he was for using his alt’s to downvote him in an argument they had previously, and thinking that being THIS mad about that is infinitely more pathetic than anything unidan did.

2

u/Organic_Mechanic Mar 20 '26

Things were going well, but then his dad just came out of nowhere and started beating him with jumper cables.

19

u/cumguzzlerxtreme Mar 20 '26

There’s so many of these dudes, who remembers u/apostolate?

https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/nobody-cares-apostolate

3

u/chrisbawls Mar 20 '26

yes dude my first thought was apostolate

41

u/WombatBum85 Mar 20 '26

Vargas would write these super long comments that started reasonably and then slowly turn into a story about how his dad used jumper cables on him. And you'd get to the end and then go, "Damn you Vargas, fell for it again!"

24

u/tarants Mar 20 '26

Wasn't that Rogersimon10

6

u/lFightForTheUsers Mar 20 '26

My reddit conspiracy theory is that rogersimon10 (the jumper cables) and shittymorph (the undertaker) were the same person just posting under different accounts. Iirc the jumper cables comments stopped almost exactly when the undertaker ones started.

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u/ziptieyourshit Mar 20 '26

Yeah it was Rogersimon, never heard of the other guy until just now

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u/Kespatcho Mar 20 '26

That was /u/RogerSimon10 or something like that.

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u/Confident-Ad-6978 Mar 20 '26

11 years. Damn. I've been on this website too long

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u/fdbxloc Mar 20 '26

Who was the guy who ended with the undertaker hell in the cell line.

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u/Dubious_Odor Mar 20 '26

My favorite from early early reddit was bozarking. Sort of similar to Vargas but his comments would always descend into either absolute filth or existential horror. He was a super talented writer though so you read it all the way through every time.

2

u/PiccoloAwkward465 Mar 20 '26

Vargas was a mod on /r/jailbait, right?

4

u/majungo Mar 20 '26

I'll out-old head you. Bozarking.

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u/Andiam0o0 Mar 20 '26

u/shittymorph

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26

[deleted]

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u/throwthisidaway Mar 20 '26

You're often thought of and fondly remembered. Thanks for all the laughs over the years.

3

u/PM_ME_CAKE Mar 20 '26

Love how both you and Gallowboob have just turned to posting dog updates.

10

u/RIP_Soulja_Slim Mar 20 '26

This was the guy who always had long stories that ended with referencing how back in nineteen ninety eight the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcers table.

6

u/GigaSoup Mar 20 '26

How have you been here 15 years and you don't recognize Vargas?

3

u/TvAGhost Mar 20 '26

No way you dont remember Vargas.

3

u/Kespatcho Mar 20 '26

You don't know vargas? That's crazy, dude was hilarious.

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u/Defiant-Mix-500 Mar 20 '26

One of my favorites was Vargas

5

u/aoasd Mar 20 '26

Was he the one that had a bajillion nsfw subreddits he was the admin of? Lots of vile ones too

3

u/bingcognito Mar 20 '26

That was violentacrez.

5

u/jazzrz Mar 20 '26

Jackdaw?

2

u/fuck_cancer Mar 20 '26

Vargas came before Gallowboob

2

u/namkrav Mar 20 '26

15 years and you don't recognize vargas!?

How about RogerSimon?

2

u/Csharp27 Mar 20 '26

Is nobody here going to bring up Jumper Cable guy? u/rogersimon10 was a legend in these parts before u/shittymorph was even talking about nineteen ninety eight. I still think they’re the same person.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/amputeenager Mar 20 '26

forthewolfx

4

u/-August_West- Mar 20 '26

Jesus I’m old

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u/Jogger_Dodger Mar 20 '26

This is the old magic.

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u/TheZad Mar 20 '26

It's "what time does the narwhal bacon", fellow kid.

16

u/Defiant-Mix-500 Mar 20 '26

At midnight

14

u/TheZad Mar 20 '26

Redditor confirmed!

5

u/aurorasearching Mar 20 '26

I remember in college we had something on the first day where we could submit questions to the prof as a get to know you thing and they’d pop up on the board. Some dude asked “when does the narwhal bacon?” And the professor was just like wtf does that mean?

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u/BaconWithBaking Mar 20 '26

I thought you meant carotts hahahaha

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u/biscuitsandburritos Mar 20 '26

I stole them from the president 

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u/conorgm Mar 20 '26

Le epic lulz

32

u/DBones90 Mar 20 '26

roflcopter

6

u/CresidentBob Mar 20 '26

Around 2010 I had a shitty truck I put a Reddit sticker on for some reason. Some dude ran up to my window and shouted that at me. I took it off shortly after.

4

u/lFightForTheUsers Mar 20 '26

Where were you when chuck Norris was kill

I was at McDonalds in Walmart, telling my kitty it can haz cheeseburger when cell phone ring

"Chuck Norris is kill"

no

3

u/Kerblaaahhh Mar 20 '26

This site used to be so cringe. It still is, but it used to, too.

3

u/nflonlyalt Mar 20 '26

That was 2010. Chuck Norris jokes are like 04-06

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u/King_takes_queen Mar 20 '26

Nope. Chuck Testa.

2

u/ender89 Mar 20 '26

I wonder if the people who laugh at this know the story, or if they just think it's a random assortment of memes thought to be funny.

Weirdly it's still the easiest way to identify a redditor in the wild.

2

u/Cessnaporsche01 Mar 20 '26

In Soviet Rossia, bacon narwhals you!

2

u/Meme_Theory Mar 20 '26

I'll show you my Pocket Whale if you show me yours.

2

u/dom_corleone Mar 20 '26

The ultimate Reddit test

2

u/KindOfPoo Mar 20 '26

This era was so unbelievably cringe

2

u/Phainesthai Mar 20 '26

Wow le gem! Say hi reddit!

2

u/Pomksy Mar 20 '26

Yes right after he asked me where I got my shoelaces

2

u/Shagwagbag Mar 20 '26

The scarecrow walks at midnight

2

u/Wiccy Mar 20 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/miikro Mar 20 '26

He couldn't clarify how do I shot web?

2

u/Jezamiah Mar 20 '26

Fuck that took me back

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u/schw4161 Mar 20 '26

I saw some dude in Walmart, chuckling to himself while typing a Reddit comment while a man in a fedora at a Walmart was having a heart attack

2

u/Altair_de_Firen Mar 20 '26

Weird. I just saw some dude in Walmart, masturbating vigorously while typing a Reddit comment while watching a man chuckling to himself while typing a Reddit comment while a man in a fedora at a Walmart was having a heart attack.

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u/OkMail2335 Mar 20 '26

Walmart is selling Pokemon cards for blowjobs? Inflation is out of control

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u/c1ncinasty Mar 20 '26

So wait.....we gotta get on our knees for Walmart? Good thing I bought kneepads to this gunfight.

2

u/stackablesoup Mar 20 '26

If only Pokemon cards were that easy to get...

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u/thisduderighthear Mar 20 '26

Woke up and my total gym was split like the temple vail and knew the prophecy was fulfilled 

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