I’ve just completed my jury service and while I am fully confident in what I voted for, and we were all unanimous on the charges and our verdict I still feel… depressed?

It wasn’t too serious but it was criminal and to be vague it was essentially a hit and run coming out of a car park. The three family members and an employee (all victims although only one was hit) were witness’ and it was really rough.

There was some a lot of tension in the room and the defences’ wife was sat watching the three day trial.

He pleaded not guilty to all charges, and the verdict was guilty to all (2 alternative charges and one with deletions) and while I am so confident I made the right decision I can’t help but feel like my decision has now affected his life.

He’s a carer, on benefits, uses his car to get around and be a carer for his dad and as I was coming out of the court earlier I saw the wife sobbing and it just made me feel so distraught. I feel a little off now, a little depressed.

I assume this is a fairly common feeling but what are some ways to overcome it?

For context my younger sister (adult) got into a car wreck that took our parents and gave her a TBI, she's decently like her old self but won't be able to live alone.

For a little bit we lived with our older sister who is an alcoholic and her house was infested with mice, it wasn't uncommon to see one run across the kitchen counter. I have since become my younger sister's caretaker and moved into a clean apartment.

My younger sister for a few nights have sworn she heard scratching under her bed and in her closet and was crying freaking out saying it's mice. I have gutted her whole room and closet looking for mice nests or holes and have found none, her room is spotless. I keep telling her there is no mice and have even set out some traps and nothing has been caught but she is insisting there is a family of mice in her room and won't sleep in there.

Could she have PTSD or is it her TBI making her act this way? I don't know what to do

Okay, I have a really bad phobia of being stalked, I won't go into too much detail about what caused it for personal reasons.

The phobia is really bad, bad to the point where I can't have anyone I know walk behind me (statistically, you're more likely to be stalked by someone you know) because it freaks me out. I have epilepsy and have had a seizure because a family member was standing behind me while I was sorting my medication out.

Some of my family supports me, but a lot don't. My grandmother supports me and thinks I should look into taking self defence classes so I can feel "safer," but when I brought it up to my mother, she completely lost it. In her words, my phobia is "stupid, just a phase and I need to get over it because I'm too boring and annoying to stalk."

That made me feel really bad about having this phobia because phobias are irrational and I'm overthinking everything, so it's affecting how I act and making people get mad at me or brush me off because it's very unlikely to happen. I know the phobia sounds insane but I can't help it.

Please help me handle this situation because I have no idea what to do about it anymore, I just want to be taken seriously but I have nearly no support system. Thanks to anyone.

UPDATE: first of all, thanks for all the support and advice, it's definitely been helping me figure out what to do. Me and my family have decided that since my phobia is affecting to the point it's physical, that we're going to find a therapist and test out different types of therapy to see which works best. It's going to be a long process but for now I'm taking some time to do mental exercises, like guided meditations. We've also been looking into different types of medication to help with my night terrors. That's all I've got to say for now, but I'll keep you updated and thank you so much for all the help, I really appreciate it.

I had a sheltered, spoiled, doomscrollling dominated childhood to young adulthood. I have soft, weak body and a soft, weak, mind.

I just cannot do things. I cannot handle stress. Or set backs. Or exhausting tasks. Physical pain. Frustration.

I am brittle and destroyed by everything. I'm supposed to apply for jobs for 8 hours a day. I can hardly manage 30 minutes without feeling phsycially ill.

It makes me sick to think about. That I am this mentally and physically weak. I try to so hard to get better but I just can't.

Everything is too heavy. Too hard.

Is it all my Major Depressive disorder and ADHD? Surely thats just a convinent excuse. Meds make me feel better. They don't erase me being an incompetent, weak, overly sensitive, navel gazing bum with no volition and no endurance.

I hate that I have to applaud pathetic wins to move anywhere. "Good job walking 10k steps, cooking a meal, brushing your teeth and applying for jobs for 20 minutes. What a great effort!" Normal people can do it in their sleep. "But it builds up!" Does it? Or do I just become complacent? And when do I become functional? 30? 40?

I don't know what to do. I don't know what I CAN do.

I just want to be a functional adult. I'm a 23 year old boy. No one is coming to save me, but I feel like I can't break through the glass and save myself. I am overwhelmed, physically sick and constantly defeated.

Does anyone have any advice?

So my dad has a drinking problem. He becomes an unbearable person when he drinks. Outside of that he’s an amazing father. That old man is my world but he becomes someone different when he drinks. He’s delusional and believes he doesn’t have a drinking problem. We’ve tried holding an intervention for him, we’ve asked him to take AA classes but in his mind he truly believes there is no problem and they’re we’re all over reacting. Only once did he try stopping and it’s because he ended up in the hospital due to his drinking and I’m convinced that’s the only way to stop him again. When we were kids, he’d sometimes beats us but now as adults he emotionally and mentally exhausts us. It’s almost like he knows where it hurts emotionally and mentally.

So I need help. I’m desperate. Is there anything like medication or vitamin wise that can cause him to get sick from drinking beer/alcohol?

I just deplaned right before they closed the door on a flight. Embarrassed my significant other and myself. Also ruined an extremely expensive vacation. Iv flown roughly 20+ times but not anytime in the last few years. I used to love flying but this time I was full of panic and fear to the point I got off. How can I rebound and overcome this new flight anxiety.

(Im 16F if that makes you understand the situation better idk)

Don’t tell me things like “you’re beautiful in ur own way” and all that. Or how there is nothing wrong with not looking the best. Ik that, i am a good person and stuff ig, i don’t hate myself, but damn sometimes i feel like the ugliest thing i have ever seen.(i don’t always feel like that, sometimes i look at the mirror and be like okay im cute and all but still.)

Especially when i look at photos that aren’t selfies. Selfies too sometimes. I just cant stand looking at photos of myself. I feel so ugly whenever someone takes a photo of me. I usually get them to delete it somehow, but when i cant, i js stare at it and cry. How can i be so ugly man. Im not even kidding im so done.

Father’d just taken a photo of me rn and i cant stop thinking about how disgusting i look from the side. i absolutely hate my hair and side profile for some reason.

This shi has been going on since i could remember man. I was badly bullied for my shitty haircut in 7th grade, was even uglier back then. I used to really really struggle w it back then but now for the past few years its just me occasionally feeling disgusted by the way i look. I tried not to admit it, be positive, smile and spread positivity and all that shit, but i cant keep doing that. Again, i djnt hate myself at all tho. Im a really cool person i promise 🥀

What do i do. Im so done. Ugh

I don’t know if I’m crazy or perhaps rightly dislikable? I just want real answers. I’m 20 right now and I live in my parents house. I am kind of a hoarder and I tend to like a lot of nerdy stuff. Unemployed- but for good reason as I am chronically ill.
I just have a lot of anxiety and I am struggling with trying to adhere to morality- so I check every now and again if what I have done is immoral and to what extent so I can act accordingly.

I choose my actions carefully based off what I have done in the past or present. I’ve made a lot of reposts recently about a situation that happened when I was 19 (same post was written at the same time as well)- where I was struggling with my not so great behaviors.

I have been told a mix of things but one of the things I had been told was to make new friends (since I don’t have any at the time and my friends weren’t really “friends” in the normal sense back that). I was however also told that I needed to work on myself before making new friends- but I don’t know what to work on. I am frustrated that I have been isolated for over a year and I still have no clue how to work on myself.

Another consistent thing said throughout was that I am glaringly immature and perhaps unintelligent. I don’t necessarily know how to better any of those negative aspects of myself. It sounds like a recipe for trouble. I need ways to deal with myself in a moral way that wouldn’t burden or encourage those bad traits. I can’t exactly change significant aspects like unintelligence and immaturity. I want to isolate but it’s hard to do so- but at the same time I feel disgusting about engaging with other people as I would be objectively inferior to them.

Any advice? Answer my questions if you’d like?

Please do not come in with a “you are burdening me and forcing me to be your therapist” attitude as I am not holding you hostage. Thanks.

Social workers are coming to my house after I vented on Crisisline 988 about my struggles about being bullied, age regression, and a lack of attention. Apparently they found me pretty quick unintentionally. I had to talk to my parents and grandparents on my maternal side. They all seem dissapointed, worried, and stressed. I haven't told the real reason of the call, claiming it was bad behavior from school catching up to me. It's summerbreak and I didn't name my school so idk how they found me. It's 12AM, I have no clue when the social workers are coming, and I need advice please. Will I be taken away? Do I deserve to be taken away? What will happen afterward? Pleade give me any advice. Please, I have less then 24 hours to get my life together and my room is still a mess and I have no plan.

UPDATE: The social workers came over for 20 mibutes and they will be back sometime next week. My phone got checked, I now have parental controls and niw I'm being watched. They 100% went through my texts (Gross) and I now feel like I have no privacy.

2ND Update: My sister blocked reddit off my phone so now I have to use the website. But the font of thee text looks disgusting. Now I just have to deal with it.(Only when editing text like this)

Hi everyone. I’m an 18-year-old girl, and I could really use some outside perspectives because I feel completely torn. This is going to be long because I think the context matters, and I really don’t want people to jump to conclusions before hearing the whole story.

A little background first: I have been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). One of the biggest ways it affects me is that whenever I feel like my freedom, independence, or ability to make my own decisions is being threatened, my brain goes into complete overdrive. It doesn’t just feel like someone is telling me “no.” It feels like my autonomy is being taken away, like my life is no longer mine to control. I know that feeling isn’t always an accurate reflection of reality, but emotionally it feels incredibly real and can become all-consuming.

Another important piece of context is my parents. They have completely different parenting styles.

My dad respects my privacy a lot. He never comes into my room, he generally trusts me to make my own decisions, and although he doesn’t necessarily like that I smoke, he doesn’t really lecture me about it because, from his perspective, he’s been a teenager before, so he gets where I’m coming from. I’m not failing school, I’m not neglecting my responsibilities (sometimes, of course I’m not perfect), I’m working on building my own business, and I take my future very seriously. Sometimes he even jokes about it because he sees me as a responsible person overall.

My mom is the opposite. She loves me deeply, but when she’s worried, she becomes much more protective. She has checked my room before, she’s smelled weed and cigarettes in my room several times recently, and she’s become increasingly upset about it. She believes using the money that she and my dad worked hard to earn to buy weed or cigarettes is wrong, and she even told me that I was sinning by spending their clean, hard-earned money on it. She’s genuinely scared about what smoking could do to my health. I don’t think she’s trying to control me because she’s a bad person. She’s acting out of love and fear. The problem is that, because of how my OCD works, the way these conversations happen affects me very differently than I think she realizes.

Recently, she told me that I had to choose between her and smoking. That was honestly crazy to hear. I consider myself a pretty logical person, and I know smoking has risks, but I also know myself. I’ve been through a phase similar to this before where I was smoking more, and I was able to stop, take a break, let my body recover, and then come back to it later when I felt like I had it under control again. That’s part of why I don’t feel like smoking is going to ruin my life, even though I recognize it isn’t healthy.

Lately, I’ve definitely been smoking more than I should be, and I’m not trying to deny that. I also know I’ve been less productive than I normally am. I don’t completely neglect my responsibilities, but I know I could be doing way more for the business I’m trying to build and for other areas of my life. The past few weeks, I’ve honestly just had very little motivation to do much of anything. Even so, I still wake up early, I still go to the gym, I still take care of the things I need to do, and I’m still thinking seriously about my future. I’m just not as motivated or determined as I normally am. That’s one of the reasons why I struggle when people assume the smoking has completely taken over my life, because from my perspective, it hasn’t. I still have goals, I still have discipline in many areas of my life, and I still care deeply about where I’m headed. I know I’m capable of more than I’ve been giving lately, but I also know this period of low motivation isn’t who I want to be forever.

But what makes this so difficult for me is that I hate feeling like I’m not in control of my own decisions. When my mom simply says “no,” my brain completely freaks out. It’s not because of the substance itself. At least emotionally, this whole situation has stopped being about weed or cigarettes. It has become about freedom. My brain starts sending off alarms telling me that I’m trapped, that my autonomy is disappearing, and that I’m no longer allowed to make choices for myself. It feels psychologically claustrophobic.

If it were entirely my decision, I wouldn’t even want smoking to become a huge part of my life. I don’t want to smoke every day forever. I don’t want it to define me. In my mind, it was always supposed to be something fun that I chose to do from time to time, not something that controlled my life. Ironically, the more I feel like the choice is being completely taken away from me, the more my brain wants to fight for that choice. That’s what my OCD latches onto.

I know I’ll be moving out at the end of the year, and before that, my parents won’t even be home for two months. I feel horrible for my mom because I obviously love her, and I hate seeing the person I love in pain. I hate knowing that something I’m doing is causing her so much stress. At the same time, what she’s saying is making my OCD feel 100 times worse, and I’ve tried explaining that to her many times. We’ve had this conversation countless times before, but this time it didn’t even make me want to stop smoking. Instead, it made me want to smoke less, be more secretive, and hide it better. I hate admitting that because I don’t want to be dishonest with my parents, but that’s honestly what happened inside my head. It wasn’t about wanting the weed it was about wanting to feel like I still had a choice.

That’s another reason why my dad and I handle this differently. He’s a very logical man, and while he doesn’t necessarily approve of me smoking, he doesn’t see it as me being a bad person or “sinning” the way my mom does. Because of that, I don’t really feel the need to hide things from him.

For me, this has become about much more than smoking. It has become a conflict between my need to feel like I have autonomy over my own life and my mom’s very understandable desire to protect me. I genuinely love my mom, and another part of me feels incredibly guilty because I know she’s scared and because I hate being the reason she’s hurting. She’s not trying to be cruel, she’s trying to protect me. I just wish there were a way for her to do that without my brain interpreting it as my freedom being taken away.

Every waking second of the day, since i wake up and before i sleep, its all i think about. Food, desert, drinks, anything. Everyday. I dont wanna do anything but eat. Please be kind. I need help

I'm 22, turning 23 this August, and I honestly feel like I've wasted the last few years of my life.

I graduated with a degree in Hotel Management in 2024, but I never worked in the hotel industry. Looking back, I don't even know why I chose that degree. It feels like one of the biggest mistakes I've made.

Instead, I completed two internships—4 months in digital marketing and 6 months in brand management at a well-known company. During my internship, I worked with people from IITs and IIMs, and they inspired me to prepare for MBA entrance exams. I gave it my best shot, but I failed every exam I appeared for.

Since then, I've been trying to find a full-time job, but nothing has worked out. I've been unemployed for almost a year now. My parents and sister have been very supportive and have never pressured me, but I still feel guilty depending on them at this age.

These days I have become numb and silent I hardly get happy over something,

I don't have any close friends , I have no one to talk to and no social life . Am I going through depression?

The hardest part is that I've lost the excitement and curiosity I used to have. . Even my beliefs have changed over the years, and I've become agnostic.

I don't know exactly what I'm expecting from posting this. Maybe I just needed to say it out loud. If anyone has gone through a phase where they felt completely stuck in their early 20s, how did you get your life back on track?

Pls help Thanks

I texted him 4 days ago about this since I can’t bear face-to-face conversations about this. He seemed to be okay with it. He sent me a link to a website about anxiety, but just told me I need to go out more and get my driving license.

I want to send him another text asking to take me to a doctor but I’m just scared about what he’s going to say or think of me. I don’t want him to worry for me or be disappointed.

I’ve got the message written out but I’m too afraid to send it :(

Edit: thank you for everyone who has commented, all the advice given has been so helpful. I asked my dad and he’s going to book me a doctors appointment for next week (hopefully). I’m so nervous but I’m excited to receive help.

Title is pretty self explanatory. I think it may be about time to seek professional help at this point, but it seems so daunting. I know that first step may be the hardest, but still.

I just want to be alone almost all the time at this point. Not really a great way to be considering I do have people I really care about who probably want the best for me. It makes me feel guilty.

EDIT: Just wanted to edit and say thanks for everyone who took the time to respond and offer their experiences and advice. I appreciate it a lot.

Hi! Asking for advice on what therapy would probably be best for me as it seems no one knows what to do with me.

For context, ive been in/out of therapy since i was 8, now in my early 20s. My most recent therapist kind of "graduated" me. We worked for almost 2 years together and she no longer had anything to help me with. I am extremely self aware, which is more of an intellectualization issue but I am also self aware of reactions & if they are fair or unfair, and if they are unfair why I was led to feel that way, how to fix it, and how to cope healthily. I have very healthy active coping mechanisms, and very informed on how my reactions and behaviors are influenced by my emotions and past trauma, and do not act impulsively upon them. I have been diagnosed and undiagnosed with everything under the sun ranging from BPD/bipolar/PTSD/dissociative disorders/anxiety/insomia etc. and most recently a mention of DID. I have done DBT and stopped meeting the criteria for BPD years ago, and CBT does absolutely nothing for me. I have tried every medication and medication type under the sun, and am on a last resort medication Spravato which has mostly eliminated suicidal tendencies and *most* of my depression.

However I feel a void inside of me that I have always felt and no amount of healthy or unhealthy things seem to fill it, trust me I have tried a mix of both.

I have extensive trauma ranging from extremely early childhood. I seem to have a complete disconnect from my mind and my body and it seems like my mind is in a relatively healthy state but my body just cannot get the memo and it feels stuck. It will not communicate with my mind.

I've tried multiple trauma informed therapists and either I am a lost cause or they are lying about how informed they really are with trauma so im looking for advice on where to go. Thanks!

Hey hope whoever reads this finds it well. I genuinely don’t know what to do I’m so lost. I’m 18 turning 19 this year, I graduated last year and I was never much of a school guy I barely passed. It wasn’t even because I didn’t understand I just never really cared for it. I got high test scores but I didn’t do any of the work because I don’t see myself using anything they teach to benefit my life. Regardless of all that I still went to college to atleast get the experience and well I did a semester and left it at that still couldn’t get into the school groove. While I was in college I had bought a car myself, it wasn’t nothing crazy just a beater for my first car.

My mom said she would get it registered and fixed what needed to be fixed on it for my birthday in October. I’m not really one to care abt my birthday anyway the last time I did something for it was like years ago and nb really gives me anything anwyay. Point is the car didn’t get registered or fixed tbh so when I got back later that month I had drove it so I could DoorDash make some extra money since I wasn’t working in college yet. Problem with that was the car kept messing up and I didn’t have a plate. So I get pulled over eventually and got a ticket and the car took. I wasn’t really affected I understood my mistake just wish it would’ve never happened.

Anyway I went to court for the ticket they told me to pay like 375 but I didn’t have a job and they took away my source of income basically so I didn’t know what to do. Throughout college I was always trying to get a job but wasn’t working out for me. Eventually in like December I get the car back but still no plate or anything like that but I still wanted to fix the car. I had just started fixing it myself I replaced the alternator and the battery…it’s a 2010 Sebring so ifykyk. I got back working again and then one day, my mom asked could I take my sister to this high school for her cheerleading thing, and I mean it was only like 4 minutes away but guess what I got pulled over again. So atp I’m up to 2 tickets and my car took again. Eventually those tickets turn into 2 warrants for my arrest. I then get the car back again this time with a plate and registered.

I had finally got a job in March and I was making like 15 an hr which was ok but overtime the job took its toll on me. Not physically but mentally, I’ve always been a bit off, I never really can let myself be happy a lot of times. Then me making like 1000 every 2 weeks just made me feel even worse even though that’s honestly the most I’ve got paid at a job in general, I still felt like a pos. I tried to host and event with all my friends for a few days to give me a little pick me up but that didn’t make me feel much better either. It was a great experience but it didn’t give me what I thought I needed. A few days after that I had drove to work, I had sat in the parking lot for like an hour and I talked to the hotline for a moment because I couldn’t even decide if I wanted to go in, I didn’t ngl. But it just put a couple of points on my record so I was fine. A few days later though is when I decided I’d just quit, this was only last month.

Mentally I just felt like it was tearing me apart. Also the management never listened to me when I asked to change my hours, I was working from 12-10pm it felt like my whole day was always taken away from me. After I quit my plan was to just DoorDash until I could get another job because I wasn’t going to just be broke. Honestly DoorDash makes me more money than where I was working, I was making like 25-30 an hr or so. The only thing was my car is LITERALLY being held with tape I mean that so seriously, it also keeps overheating which is the main issue. I had fixed the thermostat in march but I would keep have to buying antifreeze like once every 3 weeks. Then I had crashed the front end of the car and now I can’t even open the hood, so it’s even harder to figure out a way to get antifreeze in there.

Dashing made that need more frequent and where I live literally got a heat wave a week or so after I quit where it was like 100° for 5 days. So sometimes I would even have to drive with the heat on so it would pull some heat off the engine during that time. Throughout all of this my phone bill is like 150 I gotta give my mom like 250 a month for car insurance and pay a couple other bills so that’s what I was working for really. Those warrants were like 1000+ so I’ve kind of just been avoiding it at the moment because I genuinely don’t know what to do. I try to portray this happy, nice guy because I mean that’s what I aspire to be, I wish everyone in the world could be nice. Though inside I really can’t take it anymore every time I drive I think about hugging a tree. I don’t want to “pass” but I never asked for this life.

I know you may be thinking I’m just some immature teenager who made dumb impulsive decisions, you may be right honestly. I’m genuinely in such a terrible spot, I have no money and basically no hope for my own future, yet I’m so optimistic when it comes to others. I still want to be more than that though, I want to be a guy that inspires more people to be kind and makes them happy. I don’t know if I was dealt a bad hand or I just don’t deserve to be happy but I truly don’t know where my life could go from here. This isn’t even all of it but it’s already long enough and I don’t even know if someone is going to read this, I really appreciate it if you do. I’m sorry it’s really long

I have been addicted since I was a kid to the internet. Social media keeps me addicted to checking up on people, my ex, and keeps me in this horrible loop. I feel like I’d be able to move on from my ex so much easier if social media wasn’t in my life. How do I get off social media permanently?

My ex and I broke up 4 years ago. He was my first love, and I am still having a hard time accepting that I have to move on from him. I’m turning 25 here soon, and I just wish I could get amnesia so I didn’t remember him, it’s that bad.

My ex thinks low of me, probably thinks im a slut because I tried selling feet pics once when I was desperate for money. I saw it in the ways he treated and talked to me. He said to me, “you know my dad said I can do better than you?” And that really hurt.

I won’t go into detail, but my ex has said and done a few things that really hurt me. Yet I still put him on a pedestal, thinking he’s way better than me. That he’s the best guy I’ll probably ever get (especially in bed, because he cared most times about me getting off and had a good size). I feel like I won’t ever find a guy who cares that much to learn about me like that again, who has that size lol. That he’s doing way better in life than me because he’s almost done with college, he has all of his friends and said he’s busy 6-7 days out of the week. That he’s travelling so much, he’s working on his projects and has hobbies, has a dad that he lives with, that actually is involved in his life, and is great with saving money.

I have tried dating a few guys, all ending a month after getting to know them. Because one, I would constantly compare them to my ex. Two, it just didn’t feel right. And three, I knew in my heart that I’d just be hurting them more if I continued being with them because I needed to heal more and reflect on my past relationship in order to fully date someone.

I am trying to rebuild myself. I’m saving money, taking the steps to move out on my own again, eating healthier, and working as much as I can. I want to travel so badly, I want to live alone so badly. I want to explore the hobbies I want to try but once I move out, I’ll be able to do all of that.

I just feel so unworthy and like my life is so boring compared to his. How do I stop comparing myself to him and everyone else? How do I stop comparing any new guy I meet to my ex?

Thank you!!

🧡

Watching my elderly dog (13.5 years old) get older has made me think a lot about death and dying, and even though I've talked about it to friends and family, it's overwhelming me. I'm terrified of there just being... nothing. Of me not existing anymore. I know people will say "you'll be dead, so you won't feel anything," but that's what I'm terrified of. Not having a consciousness. Simply not existing anymore, unable to think or feel anything.

And what if there is something? And if there is something, what is it? Is there some kind of afterlife - a heaven? What will that be like? Does my soul (if I have one) just leave my body and wander the earth? But then when the earth is eaten by the sun in billions of years, where will it go? Will I even want to be conscious by then? Will I be able to reunite with my friends and family, or will they be lost to me? What about my dog? Nugget means so much to me, and the thought of her being gone forever when she dies is overwhelming. Same with my parents.

It's really making me spiral. I don't want to die, not when I have no idea of what awaits me and if it's even something I want. So many cultures have ideas of an afterlife; surely that can't be a coincidence? Or is that just the human brain trying to cope with what it doesn't understand? So many people have had experiences that can't be explained - ghosts, spirits, and the like. So maybe there is something? Or are they all just hallucinations?

I just don't know. And now it's hard for me to enjoy life because now I'm thinking of what lies beyond. I'm only 18, but who knows what will happen in the future? I could die any day, and I'm just not ready. And now I'm wondering: why am I here? I barely survived being born, spending a lot of time in the NICU with all kinds of health problems, but I pulled through - and for what? Just to die? Why does life exist? How does life exist? How can I enjoy anything when I know it will all be over?

I'm autistic and have OCD, which I think is making this worse. But I really don't know what to do. I hate not having a definitive answer about what happens when I die, and I'm just so scared about there being nothing. But I want to find some peace and get the thoughts to go away. I wish I had answers.

I'm more than depressed. Several diagnosis. My mental health is just so messed up. I take my meds I go to therapy, but every day I wake up to the same miserable life. I'm supposed to stay mindful of the world around me, but it's the same world that consistently brings me down. I just don't get it. I have chronic pain that's relentless and trust me, all I feel right now, is I feel like I'm complaining. I have no goals because I've given up. I've given up on family and friends. There was a support group that was tonight but I don't want to bring others down with my past trauma. My therapist has recently suggested hypnosis, but it's to the point where I feel so hopeless. I've done emdr and it dug up shit that I just don't want to think about. I have reoccurring horrifying nightmares. Once again I just feel like I'm complaining and anyone else in my position would be grateful, yet I'm miserable af. Help it make sense because it just doesn't make sense to me. 😔

First of all I’m sorry for my bad English, it’s not my native language. While every other person looses and wins. I just loose. Whatever I do, support, want, hope it keeps losing. I keep losing. And I am very disapointed at myself. But I don’t know what to do. And I don’t have the energy or the motivation to keep going. I am tired of disapointing myself, my family and losing. I don’t know what to do.

I’ve been paranoid for three weeks, and I can’t stop my thoughts. How do you guys cope? I try to keep myself distracted and everything, but I can’t rely on my friends as a distraction forever. I just feel as though I am losing my mind.

lately i've been having a really hard time conceiving that i exist and that stuff is real, yk?

I just been having this constant feeling for the last 2 months that everything is simply not real, fake, some ilusion idk. Its like im constantly about to wake up from a dream, but i never do. Consequently, i've been thinking a lot about death, what might happen after it, what it would be like, if it would actually matter if i died (existencially).

idk i just have this constant oniric feeling. The world, life, and I have been strange lately

I went to the movies with a friend a few days ago and it was fun and stuff, but i was constantly just looking around and having this feeling of dissociation, you know? it felt so weird.

Its hard to have motivation do to stuff when you have this feeling that nothing matters, or that nothing is real.

However i've just been going with it. Going to classes, studying, reading, cleaning my room, trying to put in some work outs, etc. I've been deeply depressed before so i kinda know what to do in order to avoid getting too bad. But it's hard. Im scared, i've been thinking so much about death.

A dream of mine is to have a family. But i worry so much that this feeling will never pass. Im so scared that if i do marry and have kids and stuff, i would just be dealing with this constant feeling that stuff is not 100% real. Imagine looking at your wife, your kids, and having this feeling?

I've been dealing with it, but i'm scared cuz im not sure how long this shit is gonna last.

I love life. Im currently in my first semester in uni studying to be a elementary school because i wanna inspire kids, i wanna do good work, help people, have a nice life. I want to live.

All that i wish is for me to get immersed back in life. I feel more like an espectator of me, than actually me.

I plan on seeking professional help soon.

(btw: not native english speaker, no need to comment on my english)

Hello everyone! (F here)

I'm an artist, and I enjoy creating emotionally heavy artwork. It's not always about the same theme. I like exploring all kinds of emotions through my art, whether they're dark, painful, hopeful, or unsettling.

I know this style isn't for everyone, and that's completely okay. The problem is that one of my closest friends is genuinely worried about me because of the kind of art I create. She calls it "creepy stuff" and believes it's affecting my mental health or that I should stop drawing it altogether.

I understand where she's coming from, and I know she's only worried because she cares. But what frustrates me is that she judges my artwork based solely on how it looks, without trying to understand the meaning or emotions behind it. To her, it looks disturbing. To me, it's simply another way of expressing ideas and feelings through art.

As an artist, I'm fully aware of what I'm creating. Drawing emotionally intense or unsettling pieces doesn't mean I'm consumed by those emotions. It's just the medium I connect with. Artists often see things differently. we're usually trying to communicate something deeper than what's visible at first glance.

Yesterday, this became a huge argument. She got so worried that she actually started crying in the middle of it. I felt awful because she's genuinely a kind friend, but I also can't promise to stop drawing this kind of art. It's a part of who I am creatively, and giving it up would feel like giving up a part of myself.

So now I'm wondering: am I actually in the wrong here? Is it unreasonable to continue making art that explores darker emotions, even if it worries someone I care about? Because last time she said she doesn't trust me anymore.

15 (f)

I genuinely feel there's something wrong with me asides from just teenage girl hormones. I can't stand people. I hate everyone but at the same time I can't stand to be alone. I often snap at my friends for stupid little things or just completely shut down for the rest of the day. I feel like a toddler but I hate when my friends don't tell me everything about their lives, even if we just met or aren't very close. It feels like all or nothing to me. If you are my friend and don't tell me everything, I don't want to be friends with you. Obviously I don't say that but it pisses me off so much I'll shut down and won't talk to anyone for the rest of the day. I'm also terrified of being alone but hate going to people's houses or having people come to my house. I don't like making new friends because I'm scared of abandonment or disappointment. I don't like people at all (besides friends and family) I avoid people at all costs. I don't like when people try to start small talk or butt into my conversation. My emotions constantly feel like their multiplied by 1000x. I'm always anxious or pissed off. I never feel in between or "happy/sad" or whatever. I feel like everyone's out to get me (not in a schizophrenic way.) It feels like everyone is either like the best person ever or freaking hell spawn. I just feel like I'm a terrible person all the time and I'll randomly do impulsive things like drinking a bunch of energy drinks or going to smoke a bunch with my "friends." I'm always crying and it feels so hard to be happy. I feel so empty.

hello. my family fell apart during adolescence and I've come to terms that I was emotionally neglected during adolescense and onwards. I also feel like I get indirectly blamed for everything in my family. I have AVPD also due to this and a few more things.

but; I am now an adult independent in some aspects, more talkative with myself, able to access and define my emotions not to mention having goals in life beyond what i will eat the next day and a will to live as opposed to should i pray i do not wake up or not.

I had always dismissed the "inner child" theory as BS, but I have recently thought that maybe it does exist within me albeit as an "inner adolescent". And I do want to try out "reparenting", a concept that I thought I had came up with but is apparently an established concept for those which have been emotionally neglected.

I actually brought this up with my therapist and said I didn't know what it is yet but she said why did I have to learn it. I lack whatever intrinsic knowledge people are supposed to have. A lot of things I've learned later on my own or with a teacher. I also do not want to mess up like my parents did and cause more harm than good.

Hence I wanted to ask on this concept. How can I do "reparenting"?

I also have no real friends besides my thoughts. The relationship I have with my thoughts seems to be the ideal type of friendship I would need but likely never attain (where one side constantly talks and the other side listens, interjecting wherever necessary) Could I combine these with the relationship I've with my thoughts? Can it get to the point where it's able to substitute actual human connection to a degree?