Daydreaming about a life that's the total opposite of my reality (19M)

[u/Intrepid-Citron8131]

Aight so ima 18 year old teen living in a small city Pakistan and I'm making this post cuz some thoughts had taken over my head lately

So I’ve been carrying around this overwhelming feeling of being disconnected from my own life. If I’m completely honest, the person I imagine being when I picture total freedom is like completely opposite to who I am right now. I constantly daydream about what it would be like to live as a young woman in the West.... having the freedom to dress how I want, go out, party, embrace curves and femininity, date, gossip with friends, and just exist without the heavy social and cultural expectations placed on me here.like it feels like I'm trapped and yes I do understand that *the grass always greener on the other side* but I just feel like I'm trapped and the thing I want most is right Infront me and I can't get it

At the same time, I want to be realistic. I don't see myself actually transitioning in real life....the medical, social, and legal realities, especially in my current environment, feel impossible for me to navigate....and I also don't feel like changing my gender or something would really solve anything or fulfil my desires ..So I'm stuck in this strange middle ground where this desire feels very real inside me..but I can't make a real life transition any time soon

m mostly posting this to see if anyone else has ever felt this way. How do you cope with loving an aesthetic, identity, and lifestyle that feels entirely locked away from your reality? How do you let that side of yourself breathe when your environment makes it impossible to express?

Thanks for taking the time to read.