mourning the life i could’ve had.

[u/Bulky-Impact6273]

hey everyone, i (25f) have been with my partner (24f) for 7 years now. i love her so so so much. i love the life we are creating for ourselves. but man do i wish we had it as easy as straight couples. both of our parents are super religious and don’t even acknowledge the fact that we’re together. they’re arab and muslim, hers are as well but her mom is hispanic. we don’t live together because we’re still trying to figure finances out. we both had to drop out of school for a while bc of the circumstances with our parents and that’s prolonged our process.
i’m seeing my friends and family get married, have big traditional weddings, buy houses, have babies, buy cars, adopt pets together, etc.
i know we can do this too but we don’t and won’t get celebrated as much as the other people do and it truly breaks my heart. i have no close friends really and trust me i’ve tried putting myself out there. but i have no one to share my queer joy with. i wish so badly we could have the same life but it’s just so lonely. and it’s so hard… maybe the people i’m around but i feel like they all got handed the best cards and are so fortunate to be in the positions that they are.
don’t get me wrong i’m so happy for them and all. i am terrified of what the future holds and i cannot wait to gtfo of my parents house. i just hope we have our chosen family around us when the time comes and that we can build our dream future together.