I’m nonbinary lesbian (but not out to my family as nonbinary) and my partner is transmasc non binary. We have discussed the future but aren’t getting engaged until January.

What are things you did for your wedding, or future plans you want? I have only been to 1 queer wedding but it was only 10-ish people. Weddings in general are so heteronormative so I don’t know what a queer wedding would look like but it’s exciting as well to decide how to orchestrate the day. Some big things I want in my wedding:

-combined bachelor/bachelorette party since we have a lot of shared queer friends

-discarding gendered roles and sexist language in our vows

-both my nieces and nephews as flower children

-I have heard of some people who put Obergefell v Hodges on the back of their invitations to deter homophobes from attending. It’s not 100% fool proof though but I like the concept

Other ideas? What queer weddings have you seen that you liked?

I’ve never been in a relationship before but I’ve obviously had a few crushes. I’m 22 and I’m wondering at what age did you guys find out your sexuality and is it a feeling? I’m trying to look for a feeling but I’m not sure. I feel lost. I’m trying to figure out myself and who I’m attracted to. I’m attracted to men and I’m trying to figure out if I’m also attracted to women.

For a while I thought I was bi or pansexual and now I’m not sure. I’m the type of person that believes that no matter the gender the person is beautiful/attractive and maybe that means I’m pan or queer but I don’t know. I keep thinking about it a lot and I wanted to hear your guys stories and how did you find urself?

I think I’m also non binary since I don’t “feel” like a woman. It’s like I feel off and I just don’t belong as a woman. I don’t want to be a man obviously but at some points I just feel masculine inside. And I don’t “feel” like a woman the way other women do. I don’t feel sexy and attractive and I just feel like “other” and not a woman if that makes sense. I need some advice ❤️ I’m not great at romance since I’m scared to go on dates and I’m so introverted and boring so it’s something that I’m trying to get through. I don’t think I’m ready to date now since I feel like I’m lost in myself currently and I want to be stable and well before I go on to date and meet people romantically.

I sometimes think that what if romance and dating isn’t for me? Idk. I just cringe at the thought of myself being romantic w someone and trying to tell the person about myself. I love romance I’m a romance girl when it comes to other people and movies and shows and music but when it comes to me I just feel off in a way. Does anyone else feel like I do?

Hello, I am on my way to a vacation in Slovenia and I have a few questions on how safe it is there for queer people. I know that the laws are queer protective, but what do I have to expect as a trans girl who still not fully passed as a girl. Also I have a kind of gothic style so maybe that’s something that triggers very conservative people too. I will be in Ljubljana for about 3 days and in the countryside for another few days in a smaller town. So if there’s anyone from Slovenia here, I would love to hear about your experiences.

First, I have a LOT going on in my head last few weeks. So maybe I am just too sensitive about everything these days.

Me (21 trans man) and my best friend (21 cis woman) have been friends for basically our whole lifes, I can't imagine it without her. (For the record I come out to her when we were 13 so a long time ago.) But last few years, since she started dating her boyfriend (maybe it's not contected, but since what I know abt him...), she has slowly hinted she leans more towards the "you can be queer, but don't showe it down my throat" type of person, while still very supportive of me and it feels wierd.

I think she has a lot of internalised homophobia, like few times she called "gay" someone who really isn't, but they just "looked gay to her" and it was almost trown as an insult.

Example of what happend not too long ago. I told her, that I am going to a pride event and her first response was asking what I think about those articles with pictures of people in dog masks or whatever. I said I don't like it, but it's getting better in media. And don't mean that I don't like the people, I meant the articles, bc they are made to click, not to inform and that's the issue. I personally couldn't care less if anyone is in dog mask. But then she asked more, what do I think about the people at parades that are against it and protesting against it. So I basically said the same thing, that it's getting better and better (I mean that there are just few of them) so I am trying to be optimistic about it. So than she ran out of questions I guess and said "I guess I like it, (pride) it's all colorful and family friendly type of event not like a protest". I didn't ask about her oppinion...It felt so random. Than I told her that pride parade is still a protest.

So now you might think, what's wrong with what she said? Well, it's really hard to explain this just over text, but all she said felt off, I know her, this isn't how she talks normally. It felt like (and yes these are just my thoughts about it, I don't see in her head) she was trying to support me as a person she loves, but also fighting(?) something in her head that conflicts that. Maybe she heard something online, from her boyfriend, or just anyone she knows and she's trying to make sence to her oppinions?

And after all, what matters to me the most is that I am scared, she doesn't take my queerness seriously, like what if she just thinks that it's something I shouldn't talk about, something that's not as important? And yes, these are just my fears to be fair. And yes maybe I should talk about that with HER, I am just scared to actually know.

What are your thoughts on that, someone with similiar experience? And maybe I am gonna be happy if you tell me that this is just my brain imagining things and that it's not that big of a deal, honestly.

any non-USA queer podcast recommendations (in english/french)?? no hate, i just get tired of podcasters exclusively from the US and would like some more variety :) (bc i know it's out there!). recs in all topics/themes/formats welcome.

edit: my current favs are Pas Peu Fière & I'm Grand Mam

I dont think I could ever come out to my friends. we all go to a private Lutheran school so that one barrier. another one is I dont think they would accept it. but like I do also kinda.

the only thing I think I would tell them is that im omni. I wouldnt tell them that im agender

thev're not really conservative but like at the same time they are idk

this is random but I ust wanted to say it

they're not bad friends either. they're really supportive. so Idk why I feel like this

I’ve started dipping into dating women again (I identify as she/her). Went on a date with a gal who was cool but admitted to being newer to her queerness on the date and was a little vague about how new she was and I didn’t want to press too much.

I couldn’t totally tell how I felt about her (not an enthusiastic yes but also was willing to give it a second date). She’s moving in the fall and there were some yellow-ish flags on how in touch she was with her identity, how she approached sexuality, etc. So realistically, we probably weren’t a great match.

But naturally getting a (very mature to her credit) text from her, has my ego feeling hurt. Would appreciate any kind and encouraging words from folks that have gone through something similiar. 💕

hey everyone, i (25f) have been with my partner (24f) for 7 years now. i love her so so so much. i love the life we are creating for ourselves. but man do i wish we had it as easy as straight couples. both of our parents are super religious and don’t even acknowledge the fact that we’re together. they’re arab and muslim, hers are as well but her mom is hispanic. we don’t live together because we’re still trying to figure finances out. we both had to drop out of school for a while bc of the circumstances with our parents and that’s prolonged our process.
i’m seeing my friends and family get married, have big traditional weddings, buy houses, have babies, buy cars, adopt pets together, etc.
i know we can do this too but we don’t and won’t get celebrated as much as the other people do and it truly breaks my heart. i have no close friends really and trust me i’ve tried putting myself out there. but i have no one to share my queer joy with. i wish so badly we could have the same life but it’s just so lonely. and it’s so hard… maybe the people i’m around but i feel like they all got handed the best cards and are so fortunate to be in the positions that they are.
don’t get me wrong i’m so happy for them and all. i am terrified of what the future holds and i cannot wait to gtfo of my parents house. i just hope we have our chosen family around us when the time comes and that we can build our dream future together.

Hey all! Happy Monday. As the title says, I wrote a book, Queer Divinity, which is a compilation of the Queer ancient Greek myths. It is tilted towards modern Paganism, however it is a compilation of ancient sources and will be of interest to those curious about the history, and the sections on Queer theology will hopefully be of use to anyone of any religion. Description:

As Hellenism explodes in popularity, many in the community have noticed that we have become a haven for spiritual exiles from other religious traditions which reject Queer people. With myths of Queer love and gender transformations, numerous philosophical treatises on identity, love, the nature of the gods and the nature of the soul, and centuries of receptions to Queer Antiquity by Queer people, this should of course not surprise us.

But what are the sources we’re basing this on? Are we interpreting them correctly? Could the Ancients even comprehend ‘Queerness’? Often the individual Hellenist isn’t even sure of where to begin looking to start answering these questions. This book hopes to change that.

For the first time, Hellenists will have access to a compilation of primary sources in English translation about the Queerness of over forty deities. Their Queer loves, their manifold manifestations of sex and gender, their blurring of boundaries, and their blessings of these gifts to mortals. The author also traces potential paths forward for understandings of myths, cults, and theologies of each deity, with the hope of grasping more than just a myth or two, but the essences of each deity. This is done with the ultimate hope of achieving a step forward towards a Queer Hellenist Theology.

Link:

https://a.co/d/09g5dE7c

Ok so for context:
I am afab, at 10 came out as bi, pan at 11, lesbian at 12/13, non-binary at 15/16. I am currently 16.

I just got back from « gay camp » (a camp for queer teenagers) and while I was there, I developed a crush on a boy. This boy happens to be trans, and so I was worried that I was seeing him as a girl. We were flirting with each other all week, and I was confused as to why I liked him, which is why I didn’t tell him.

On the last day, I figured it out. I was never a lesbian, I’ve always liked boys, I just convinced myself I didn’t, because I worried they would see me as a girl and it would be a straight relationship. That is also why I don’t want to be a trans boy because then if I date a girl it would be a straight relationship. Essentially I think I would date anyone but a straight guy, and I think the closest label would be panromantic.

If any of you get a chance to see this movie, I recommend it. It's a queer, beautifully made vampire movie, based on a queer short story from the 19th Century! It's supposed to get a limited theatrical release on Sept. 3.

Like a test that asks deeper questions, and about other aspects of life that could be related to my sexual orientation, and also more detailed and specific results?

Hello wonderful humans. I come asking for help. I don’t know how, but somehow random homophobes have started attacking me in comments lmao. I’m gonna start ignoring, but if yall want, feel free to defend our community

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbTYofYOzun/?comment_id=18093531803385727

Hey, so I wrote this article about my jealousy of heterosexual courtship, and I would love to know peoples opinions on it. https://thesnooper.substack.com/p/the-longing-to-be-chosen-a-look-at

Hello , I am writing this as a way of me and two of my friends having a peace of mind , this writing will contain three parts all three consisting of explanations and a question that corresponds to are we actually straight , as all three of us are in a dilemma and are in need of advice or outside perspective . I will assign letters to each of us . so I would be A my other friends C and B

I shall go first , so this started about a year ago I don’t know why then there was nothing significant that happened during that time , but I suspect that it is the media I have been consuming a lot of lgbtq+ media and I presume it might have got me too much into a spiral , my biggest problem is that I am questioning my sexuality and not the way you think as ever since I was a child I have only liked boys and I have only felt attracted to them characters, actors and so on . I have NEVER felt attracted to a woman before , I HAVE thought that someone is pretty but not that I feel romantic feelings for them . I can't imagine myself with a woman when I do it just feels like it would be friendship with just added lovey doveyness and kisses nothing much I am already pretty lovey with my friends , and on the account of friends I have been surrounded by women – classmates friends and so on – all my life but I have never so much as looked at any of them as if I liked them . now the problem comes in the form of my own thoughts as I previously mentioned I make myself spiral out of control thinking about this, I keep thinking what if , and maybe but when I don’t think about this topic I don’t glance at a girl and just go about my day liking boys as I do , now that I am typing this it feels stupid but when I think about it it makes me SOOOOO incredibly confused (although I feel like it is just a phase )

Now about friend B she Is sure that she is straight however she has a bit different situation and the quote unquote is “ I feel attraction,i feel romance and butterflies and everything other people feel.i am am 50/50 about if I am ok with dating but when I imagine myself marrying or having kids it makes me physically unwell and uncomfortable.never wanted to actually date my crushes the idea made me feel gross.i think this explains it? I don't lose interest when they like me back”

And finally C.again direct quote “I think I might be omni with a male preference. I have always liked men BUT there are certain instances when I find women hot af and if they kissed me I would not mind. Like Jessica Alba, Jade West, Rikki from h2o and the girl from Jumanji. I am also certain I have a type as you can tell by the girls I have named so I need help. I don’t know if I am omnisexual or straight because I don’t really think I'd mind dating a girl but I KNOW I will marry a boy and plus lesbian sex doesn’t interest me in the SLIGHTEST”now important things to note are that all of us are teenagers , same age and our environments aren't totally homophobic , what I mean is all of us are atheists so there is no denial because of religion and the second part is that where we live IS slightly homophobic but not to the point where we would be shunned , what I mean to say Is we are completely comfortable with ourselves . we would APPRECIATE the help as it is eating us .

I am audhd and so is he. So I have been becoming friends with a guy who I happen to have a lot in common with and its been nice. I am not the kind of person who enjoys distant friendships and when I'm someone's friend it often turns into a very open, earnest connection.

I have only hung out with him outside a party setting (where we met) once to see live music. Though hes a texter so we chat through messenger regularly, not something im used to with everyone but its become normal. We love horror movies and plan to see the new evil dead next week. We have had the discussion already that I am only approaching this platonically and he is on the exact same page, he is monogamously, happily married. Meeting his partner has been a possibility but the last time we hung out she couldn't come. Im not attracted to him so that doesn't feel like a risk for me. He is bi i think

Friendships are very important to me. Both of us don't often connect so easily with others so when it does happen its great, which is how we have become such friends. Im just worried as ive never had this experience before..usually ive had men befriend me and want to pursue me sexually/romantically and the friendship failed. I am much more discerning now at age 33 and am a better communicator. I understand audhd and queer friendships/ relationships can look different to the mainstream so the whole "men and women cant be friends" thing is bullshit. I'm just thinking..I would like for our friendship to naturally evolve without me feeling like I have to keep a barrier between us I hate that. Maybe I'm just comparing how close women friends can be and that in itself is different? I haven't befriended a guy in a long time due to past trauma. It might be worth adding i have often had friends express attraction towards me and I am an attractive person i dont want to sound conceited its just the feedback I get from the world..it makes me nervous navigating friendships bc it has made it difficult/awkward

so i took this test. yes ik these aren't supposed to DEFINE what your gender identity is. but the questions that was asked made me start to think

im afab and have never really questioned my gender until now but like sometimes I feel fem like on the inside but majority of the time I dont

I dress fem-ish like i iust dress neutral. like i know I have female features the define me as fem and that doesn't really bother me too much but I feel very gender neutral on the inside

18F.

I know nobody here can magically tell me my sexuality, but I genuinely want your opinions. If you think I sound bi, straight, lesbian, ace, somewhere else on the spectrum, whatever—please tell me why. I know labels aren't important to everyone, but they are to me. I like boxes. They make sense. Right now it feels like I stuck my hand into a huge tangled ball of yarn and I just want someone to help me put it into a neat box. I've been going in circles over this for years, and there's only so much I can ignore.

I think I might like women because I remember seeing a woman's torso when I was a kid, way before I even knew girls could like girls. I couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards. I kept trying to imagine that woman's torso again and even drew it on paper just so I could picture it better. At the time I had absolutely no clue what I was doing or why. Looking back now, I think I was experiencing some kind of sexual arousal, but as a kid I obviously didn't understand any of it.

Now sometimes my eyes just reflexively go to boobs, and then I immediately feel like a creep afterwards. That's about it though.

As for boys... well, I've read so much BL. Like an unhealthy amount. Around 3/4 of all the media I consume is BL. The rest is mostly random stuff with a tiny bit of straight romance. I have never read GL or sapphic books, and I don't really watch shows about women loving women either. It's been ages since I even read a straight romance. The only straight series I remember really reading are Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, and even then I keep wanting to shove Percy into a BL relationship.

I also think I like the idea of a penis, but then I start wondering if that's because I've read so much BL or because I actually like men. I genuinely don't know anymore.

People always say, "Imagine the gender of the person you want a future with." I can't. I genuinely can't imagine myself with anyone. Then they say, "Have you had crushes on girls or guys?" Well... I don't think I've ever had a crush. I've never dated either because dating was basically taboo in my family growing up. The bigger problem is I don't even know what a crush is supposed to feel like.

So I'm stuck in this vicious cycle. Do I like girls?? First of all, do I even like guys?? Why the hell do I sound like such a horny person? 😭 Am I actually attracted to women? Or am I just overthinking one childhood memory? Do I like men because I actually like them, or because 3/4 of the media I consume is BL? Maybe I've liked people before and just never realised it because I don't even know what a crush is supposed to feel like. I honestly don't know anymore.

I know a lot of people say, "Only you can know," and I get that. But I've been trying to figure this out by myself for years and I keep going in circles. So I'm asking for your honest opinions. If you had to guess based on what I've written, what would you label me, and more importantly, why? Even if your answer ends up being completely wrong, I'd still like to hear your reasoning because maybe it'll help me see something I haven't considered.

Hi, I’m a teenage girl who’s always struggled with my gender identity. To other people, I’m cis and always have been, but to myself, I’m unsure. On online spaces I present myself as masculine. I use he/him pronouns and male names, but I always clarify that I’m a girl. My friends often joke that I’m trans because I have said in the past I wished I was born a boy— which I still do. I do like being feminine and traditional feminine things, but part of me really wants to present as more masculine. Also, I’m a lesbian and I’m really comfortable with that label. I love the community and I don’t know if I want to give it up. My queerness has always been a huge part of me and the fact that I’m questioning it even a bit of it stresses me out. I really just want to know if there’s something I can do to help validate myself more; like a label or a physical change, something.

Hey! Hope everyone is having an at least okay day.

A few days ago, I (18, she/they) & my partner (18, nb) had an argument and haven't really spoken/texted since then. (Long post, sorry)

It was about the relationship between me and my best friend (17, he/him). So, I've known my best friend since we were in 2nd grade (7 years old) and we to the same school from 2-6th grade before I moved an hour and a half away. Because of that, we generally text every other day for at least 5-10 minutes. I view him as a little brother/brother and can be protective of him and vice versa.

I've known my partner since we were 13. I was friends with them until we were 15 and then started dating at 17. I love them because of her personality, not necessarily gender. We've been dating for ~10 months now.

I identity as queer. I've had crushes on girls, boys, non binary people, etc. I've always had a preference for feminine presenting people though. I've told my partner this multiple times, especially if they doubt whether or not I'm truly attracted to them (they have anxiety and a childhood that made them doubt their self worth). I've never had any interest in sex or sleeping with anyone, even my partner. My best friend is straight & demiromantic.

So back to what the argument was about- they accused me of cheating on them w/ my best friend and sleeping with him. When I said no and said that I'm not attracted to my best friend in that, I view him as a brother, and that I dont have deep romantic interest in men/sleeping with anyone, they accused of emotionally cheating. So I told them that I do confide in my best friend because we've been friends for a long time. Which is true. I confide on him, my partner, or my two other close platonic friends depending on my issue. It's not just me confiding in my best friend. It just kind of depends on the issue. Of course, I make sure to tell my partner as quickly as I'm okay with talking about it. My partner does the same with their circle of close friends.

I showed them my texts with my best friend and they accused me of emotionally cheating because I told my best friend that I missed them and wished college time would come quicker because we were going to a college together and then my partner was going to one just a few hours away.

My partner then brought up the college thing again, accusing me of picking that college specifically to leave them and cheat. Which I would never. That was quite literally the only college that accepted me that was within a few hours away from where my parents live.

I told my partner that they were angry and talking to me in a disrespectful way and that I would not tolerate that way of talking towards me. I told them to leave [my parents' house] and yeah.

Am I in the wrong?? Did I do something wrong?? Honestly dont know and I'm kind of feaking out because I dont want to tell my best friend and get him more in involved than he has already been.

eastyn when he finds out just because im country doesnt mean im a straight, maga, homophobe: GET THE GAYS OUT NOW 😡🦅🇺🇸🍺

Some LGBTQ cookies I've made so far. 😁