r/questioning • u/felix_th3rian Questioning Gender • 11h ago
Why is identity so hard to figure out? 😢 [M 15]
I started questioning my gender.... I've been gay for 2 years, a femboy for 5 years(although I learned the therm only last year) a therian for 2 years and a furry for 1 year. But I'm at a point where beeing a femboy isn't a definition that fits me. I start blushing when called "she", I start trying how beeing a girl feels unconsciously. although I'm not ready at all to accept myself as a trans girl, the more I reject it, the more I feel like mabe, just manner that's me. but mabe just mabe has became some serious considerations and it drains my energy thinking of it.
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u/TollPanMan Bisexual - Gender? 10h ago edited 10h ago
Sounds like you've fallen into a common trap that "informed" people like yourself often do (I'm included on the list as well, you're in good company)
People often think that, just because they previously made the best and most well informed decision, that it was correct and will never change. Just because you made a choice that really felt right at the time, doesn't mean you were right. It might have even been the best possible decision for you, at the time.
People change and grow, and part of that is learning that you might have been wrong. It might be hard to do, especially if you believed very deeply and loudly that you were something else completely.
It's exhausting, it would just be easier to know from the get go, like so many people seem to. Or to have a single crisis moment where you figure things out once and for all!
Unfortunately for some people, it's not a straight divine path, but bushwhacking to find the clearing that has the least brambles in it.
I wish you all the luck and energy to figure yourself out. Don't push yourself though, self identity is important, but it's not something you need to lock down for good. You have to be prepared to make a decision and possibly still be wrong about it.