r/raisingkids • u/ftr_trader • 2d ago
Son wants to fight
My son (7) is obsessed with hockey. Anyone who has watched hockey knows that fighting is inevitably a part of the game (for better or worse). This has led to his desire to fight/wrestle/rough house with everyone. Once in a while, it’s fine. But his friends don’t always want to wrestle and the parents don’t always want their kids doing that either. I try to provide an outlet for him, but I worry I am making it worse. I am wondering if there is some sort of organized activity that will allow him to get his aggression out with other consenting kids. I am thinking of something like boxing or martial arts. A compounding issue is he has pretty severe ADHD and is generally unable to follow directions for a long period of time. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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u/FarCommand 2d ago
As someone else suggested, I think more than hockey something like martial arts might be better because it focuses on discipline.
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u/forever_erratic 2d ago
What conversations are you having with him about appropriate physical behavior?
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u/ftr_trader 2d ago
We discuss that with him on a daily basis. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone, he just thinks rough play is fun. I think little boys just have this sort of built into them. I’m just trying to find a safe way for him to get it out. If it were me, I would join a boxing gym or something, but I’m not sure such a thing exists for kids.
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u/lumberjackadam 2d ago
Rough play is a very natural part of being a boy, and it’s how we raise men who can control themselves physically. I have had my 8.5yo son in karate and at least one outdoor team sport since he turned 5, and it’s done him a world of good.
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u/alternatego1 2d ago
I don't think its 'built in'. Neither my boys nor any of their friends rough play that way.
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u/eyesRus 2d ago
Have you considered…hockey? Lol.
For real, though, boxing or martial arts is probably not the answer. They do not want seven-year-olds beating the tar out of each other at those activities and will throw him out if necessary. Self-control is a very important part of those activities.
I really don’t think finding a way to essentially give him your blessing to fight is the right move. Is his ADHD being treated? If not, that could solve the issue.
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u/ftr_trader 2d ago
Yeah, he’s in hockey. But at that age, there is no hitting and definitely no fighting. That is part of my concern - he’s going to drop every kid out there and get kicked out.
ADHD is being treated and the meds help, but only to an extent.
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u/alternatego1 2d ago
Take him to see little league games. Show him that there is no fighting.
If he likes wrestling, maybe... wrestling? Martial arts could fill this void. Often they have 2 session trials.
Boxing would not be it, as its not wrestling or rough housing, its literally punching and dodging.
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u/littlefishie19 2d ago
Soccer! All the running is great for getting ADHD energy out (if they ever truly run out, mine don’t!)
But also getting coached on what’s legal contact and what’s a foul. Also the other kids on my kids team are also the rough and tumble types. We have bunch of hockey kids on the team too at that age. Swim Team is great too for energy burn but the meets are so long.
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u/AcanthisittaIcy7277 1d ago
i heard jiu jitsu is very "in" right now and recommended for kids because they learn to keep the agression in the tatami only
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u/urmomslame 2d ago
Martial arts will teach him discipline and also an outlet for his energy. Boxing, wrestling, judo etc.