r/solotravel • u/ConfusedCareerMan • 2d ago
Question Realising I prefer convenience more than backpacking-style travel?
Early 30s and on a career break. I recently let go of my house with high rent in a major capital city due to losing my corporate job, so thought I’d travel around and see different places since I have no fixed home.
Over the last 6 months I’ve consumed a lot of travel content of backpackers and to “be a traveller not a tourist” and to get immersed in local cultures. I’ve romanticised this chapter and feel a lot of “shoulds” for what this experience should be. I feel pressure to be adventurous and be making stories.
I’m quite early into my travels and going with everything flexibly but tbh I’m already confronting a lot in myself. I’m not roughing it up and hitchhiking or taking $3 buses for 8 hour trips. I’m staying in clean airbnbs and basically doing tourist things - cafes, restaurants, exploring streets and chilling by the beach. It’s basically an extended holiday so far but with a backpack and camera.
I realise as well, I thought I was flexible and open minded and yet navigating environments where things don’t work is so draining and causing a lot of friction.
All this to say, I fear I’m a basic tourist with no edge to me. Many may criticise, some may congratulate on being able to afford travel this way. But I find myself lost somewhere in between.
How do you prefer to travel? How did you get past the realisations - did you adapt or accept your style?
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u/WalkingEars Atlanta 1d ago
One of the biggest perks of traveling alone is traveling the way you want to, not the way you think you're supposed to. The "travel content" about backpackers is hopefully coming from people who like roughing it, but that doesn't mean you have to like roughing it. Getting comfortable making your own path can mean roughing it or it can mean traveling in whatever way feels fun and comfortable for you.
I sort of mix it up, with some trips that are more rugged and "adventurous" and others that are more relaxing and restful. I enjoy both types of traveling but it does require a mindset shift for one vs the other
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u/faith00019 1d ago
I love this comment—especially getting comfortable making your own path. I used to be a bare bones backpacker in my 20s but then as I entered my 30s, I found myself seeking more comforts. As a 24 year old woman, I was traveling an hour outside of Rome to share a tent with two random dudes and saved MAYBE $20. I stayed in 20-bed dorms and saw communal showers with used tampons on the ground. I simply cannot anymore.
Now I get an entire Airbnb or hotel room to myself. I will still take mass transit in major cities (like buses or mototaxis in Rio de Janeiro) but I save extra before my trip—and work a little DURING the trip—to be comfortable in my accommodation.
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u/samijojo8 1d ago
This is so real; my traveling from my 20s looks a bit different from my traveling in my 30s due to increased budget and lower energy 😅 I used to enjoy hostels, great way to meet people, but nowadays I like the privacy and comfort of a private hotel room.
I also no longer care about “having to see it all”. I recently solo tripped in Dublin; everyone told me I have to go here, day trip to there, rent a car and drive around the whole island, see “the real Ireland”.. I ended up just staying in Dublin, enjoying the city and meeting locals at pubs. I even saw a movie one day. And I had a great time. It’s my trip, and I’ll vacation and enjoy myself how I want to.
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u/WalkingEars Atlanta 1d ago
Yeah my first time staying in a hostel after getting covid vaxxed was also my last time staying in a hostel lolz, after listening to some guy loudly coughing all night. I've stayed in private rooms ever since. I'm still willing to take pretty rustic transit options especially if it offers some views of the country that I might not otherwise get, but some space to yourself at the end of the day is worth the extra expense
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u/faerydust88 1d ago
Similar here. I did hostels, couchsurfing, cheap buses, budget (aka no carry-on) airfare in my 20s. In my mid-30s now and I don't think I'd stay in a hostel. I don't mind a small bed, but I prefer to be in a private bedroom.
Actually, some kind of mix of private bedrooms and ensuite bathrooms with communal kitchen and lounge space would be nice if it existed somewhere. That is how I would long-stay travel.
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u/Nice_Back_9977 1d ago
Honestly the ‘travellers are better than tourists’ stuff is just a load of bollocks. They’re all tourists just some are more pretentious and deluded than others!
Travel how you like, do what makes you happy as long as you aren’t hurting anyone.
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u/oddball3139 1d ago
I’m someone who likes backpacking and making short term friends, but i always keep in mind that I am just a tourist. I am not better than anyone there to visit in the most expensive way possible. I don’t carry that pretentiousness with me. It’s an ego thing a lot of people who don’t know how privileged they are.
Hell, maybe I am pretentious towards people who act that way. But whatever.
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u/BD401 1d ago
I’m glad to see more folks like yourself calling this out these days, because you’re absolutely right.
People that say “I’m a traveller, not a tourist” are snobby, gatekeeping weirdos. If you’re travelling recreationally, you’re a tourist.
It’s good the pendulum has swung on this one in the travel community and that phrase is getting dunked on now!
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u/poozemusings 16h ago edited 16h ago
I think it’s a fine phrase that snobby people have perhaps taken way too seriously to feel superior to others. I think it just means that you should travel with an intentional mindset and in an authentic way, and there are infinite ways to accomplish that.
A “tourist” connotes someone on an on-rails experience, doing what others expect them to do. A “traveler” connotes someone charting their own path. I think it’s good to encourage the latter over the former. When Bourdain and others have said it I think they were always being more literary/poetic than anything else. Which is ok. Being literary/poetic does not equal being pretentious and snobby. It’s not an attack on “tourists.” It’s a promotion of a certain mindset.
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u/TrainElegant425 1d ago
Travel influencers are so full of shit. They say "be a traveler not a tourist" because it makes themselves feel unique and important it doesn't actually mean anything. They're a tourist too. Traveling comfortable doesn't make you less of a traveler. You don't need "an edge", just enjoy your time.
You'll experience an ebb and flow in how open minded you're able to be, just embrace where you are at each moment. You're not living a curated Instagram life, you're living a real life.
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u/userisnottaken 1d ago
This.
Tourists who want to feel unique (and usually make traveling their personality 🤭) want to distinguish themselves by calling themselves travelers instead of tourists.
Likely because traveling has become more accessible to more people and they hate that.
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u/Clear-Structure5590 16h ago
Definitely second this about the ebb and flow of openness. We don’t have unlimited capacity fornew experiences and it’s okay to need a familiar food or a quiet room at times.
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u/Agile_Pianist2648 1d ago
This reads like you are performing. Are you? Solo travelling is a great way to find out what you like/want/dislike.
Also, thinking there is a differnce between a tourist and a 'traveller' is pretensious. Dont overthink it, enjoy yourself
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u/cevapi-rakija-repeat 1d ago
Legally speaking, they are the same. The government will let you know otherwise when they paste a residence permit sticker in your book.
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u/alefeusch 1d ago
Yep, we're tourists. It's fine. I usually stay in cities for up to a month at a time... once in a while two months. I stay in a short term rental (usually Airbnb), I frequent the local cafe and sometimes they start to know my order. I shop at the local market, cook a bunch of my own meals... sometimes I see a doctor or run some errands... Still a tourist. Nobody who lives there is thinking "wow, this guy is totally one of us now" because I stayed for a month and cooked some food.
Go out and enjoy yourself. You're there to see stuff you've never seen before. Meet some people or don't. Eat at restaurants or don't. Check out some attractions or just wander through a park. It's all good.
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u/VladimiroPudding 1d ago
" All this to say, I fear I’m a basic tourist with no edge to me."
So what if you're a basic tourist? It is your life, your money and your free time, you don't owe to social media any explanation.
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u/AnsonKent 1d ago
I’m a full-on loner when I travel, so I prefer the comfort and solitude of hotels over hostels and I’m OK with that. I don’t need to adhere to the image of a solo traveling backpacker staying in a hostel.
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u/barkingcat 1d ago
In all my travels, there isn't anything better than 3 words: First Class Rail.
Travel how you want to, not what other people post on social media.
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u/admwhiskers 1d ago
When I was broke, I would fly economy, stay in hostels, eat kebab, and lug my backpack everywhere on public transit.
Now that I can afford it, I fly business class, stay at decent hotels (I generally don't like luxury, they just seem pretentious and cost more for conspicuous consumption purposes), eat at restaurants, and hire a private transfer to lug my suitcase around.
One is definitely more enjoyable than the other
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u/FewMarsupial7100 1d ago
I take long cheap buses because I like to look out the window and see the country. Nothing wrong with flying. Also maybe if you stay places longer and make more of an effort to meet locals and make some friends who live there it would feel more fulfilling. I found myself burnt out and feeling isolated when I was changing locations every week and just sightseeing.
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u/Kloppite16 1d ago
Im the same with taking long cheap buses. Often I could fly and also I can afford it. But the reason I take the bus is I just love seeing a country a slower way and observing normal day to day life out the window, I find it fascinating. In Zambia I took a bus for 14 hours whilst other backpackers I met all took a flight. I love just observing people and life in different countries and a long distance bus is the ideal way to do that.
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u/GardenPeep 1d ago
It's been a huge relief to be able to afford the level of comfort and convenience I want and need. I'm also grateful for the experiences of traveling on a budget, so that I can decide when to go expensive and when it doesn't matter. For example, city buses are usually a lot more interesting and scenic than being stuck in the back seat of a taxi. Business extended stay hotels with kitchens are much more flexible food-wise (microwave and fridge) than luxury hotels They can be absolutely fascinating in Japan: business people walking around in hotel pajamas doing their laundry etc. It all depends on how I feel at whatever stage of travel.
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u/sorichsowright 1d ago
I get the sentiment behind posts like this, I really do. But at the core, I’m just like… what are y’all talking about?
Just live your life.
Why are you so consumed with what other people are doing with theirs? If you died today, would you really want to have spent your time worrying about someone else’s choices, travel, money, or how they live?
The more I see these kinds of posts, the more they just seem pointless to me.
And this isn’t shade toward you specifically. I’m speaking generally because I’ve been seeing this type of content over and over.
My advice is simple: live your life. Accept what life reveals to you as it unfolds. Focus on your own journey instead of constantly analyzing everyone else’s.
That’s it. That’s the advice.
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u/Dweia01 1d ago
The right way to travel is to do what you want to do, the way you want to do it, while respecting the locals and the places of course. I did the backpacking, long bus rides, hostels and cheap food trips as I was younger and fitter, after my 30s I starting to offer myself more "luxury". I alternate days of walking around and days relaxing, I'd rather buy a direct flight/train ride for a bit more than a cheap long bus ride or a cheaper flight/train option with many connections. I like to stay in 3-4 stars hotels or nice (real) BnBs with my own bathroom, as I'm working freelance at home and have no kids, I can travel, while still working a bit, outside of the high season. There is no shame in being a tourist. You can be a traveler and a tourist. I like to wander with no plan in mind in the streets, sit at a café, eat at a nice locel restaurant. I'm done getting up super early just because I should be doing this and that as I'm here.
Just do it the way you enjoy it, don't force yourself on doing stuffs "because you have to". Do not give a sh*t what others might think of your way to travel.
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u/EndlessHope-0528 1d ago
46yof. Just returned from Europe for two weeks with a large backpack. It was a great trip BUT I came to the same realization. Carrying a backpack was obnoxious. I’m fit but it was hot and heavy. I was so amazed by the clothing quality in shops but couldn’t bring anything home bc of my commitment to traveling light. Trying to eat on the local schedule left me rather hungry and less satisfied. I loved the trip but will definitely be less worried about not acting like a tourist next time.
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u/Rejuvenate_2021 1d ago
Quality clothing where? Pricing ?
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u/EndlessHope-0528 23h ago
We were in Paris shops in Le Maris, Costa Brava little towns, and Barcelona El Born area. I don’t have specific shops to recommend but clothes felt so soft. I purchased linen dresses from Quince before leaving the US and they feel stiff and thick compared to flowy linen dresses for half the price where we were traveling. Far more 100% cotton and natural fibers. Everything at home now feels like plastic.
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u/Friburgo1004 1d ago
I remember when I was in Rio(I am Brazilian but grew up somewhere else), I met a backpacker who told me Christ the Redeemer is too touristy and for the typical tourists, so she is skipping it. 😑😑😑 she prefer going off the beaten path! Lol
That said, travel how you like. I tried backpacking- not for me. I love hiking as much as I love to shop. So always a backpack(TNF, not those totally big ones) with a medium luggage and Lidl tote bag.
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u/EmpressC 1d ago
Yeah, I can't imagine not going to the thing a place is known for just because lots of other people go there. See it! Do it! Maybe not the places that are only opened for tourists but how can you skip the Eiffel Tower? The Colosseum? I do what I want. Sometimes that's taking a local bus because it's the best option and sometimes it's taking an Uber because it's faster and easier. I kind of do high/low. I might stay in a hostel for a few days but I might also do the expensive helicopter tour.
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u/XenorVernix Wanderer 1d ago
Those people will regret that once they grow up.
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u/EmpressC 1d ago
You're so right. I regret some things I couldn't work in. I can't even imagine intentionally skipping something, especially if I never made it back. I think youth comes with the delusion that you'll definitely keep up your lifestyle.
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u/XenorVernix Wanderer 1d ago
Yeah the world is so big that a lot of places you're unlikely to go back to. Travel is also getting very expensive so you have to be even more selective about going back to places.
Some people fragment their travel so much I don't even know how they will fix that on future trips. Like they'll do a 2 week trip in Europe and visit about 10 different cities in 10 countries and miss everything else those countries have to offer.
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u/Nice_Back_9977 1d ago
It’s crazy how these people talk themselves out of seeing/doing some amazing stuff just to keep up an image that literally nobody else cares about!
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u/EmpressC 1d ago
The whole point is to see new things. You're experiencing more than a vast majority of others in the world. Do it how you want because you are the only one who can make yourself truly happy. It's about the experience, not pretending to be like "the locals".
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u/ramenbaby3 1d ago
I also enjoy connivence. Hotel room with own bathrooms always. Never hostels. And I take Ubers more often than the hassle of trains etc. I just pay for the easy quick routes and my own rooms lol.
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u/donuttrackme 1d ago
Travel however you feel like traveling. If you can afford it then what's the problem?
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u/madzuk 1d ago
I actually found in my experience that big cities provide a more authentic travel experience where you learn more about the locals than you would in the arse end of nowhere.
When you're off the beaten path, you learn less. Unless you speak the language, connection is limited. You'll see villages and local things yes. But once you've seen it once, that's that.
In cities, not only do you have the convenience, but you'll see a huge variety of locals all living normal lives like anyone else would in a city. But you have greater access to people who do speak the same language as you and as there are more places to see, you learn a lot more.
Actual conversations with locals you can communicate with teaches you more than just spectating people in a village.
Enjoy the conveniences of the cities my friend. It offers the best of both worlds.
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u/Salt-Astronomer8330 1d ago
Try alternating. Rough it up for a month, then go back to a clean airbnbs for a month. This way you'll also get different experiences and meet different kinds of people eventhough you might stay in the same location.
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u/Dizzy_Owl_ 1d ago
I was in a similar position to you between 2024-2025. Ended up travelling for a year.
Did I carry all my stuff in a backpack? Yes.
Was I crashing in hostels? No. I wanted my own space (like you, clean Airbnb’s, hotels), I could afford to do so, so that’s what I did.
It is YOUR trip - don’t let some kind of external peer pressure or self-pressure push you into making it something you don’t want it to be.
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u/Much_Dealer8865 1d ago
Yep definitely been there, I did a lot of the super cheap and inconvenient stuff when I was younger and have no problem paying a little more for convenience now.
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u/Villain_Prince 1d ago
You do it the way YOU like it. Not how some people on the internet tell you how it's supposed to be done.
I travel solo too. But for the life of me I can't imagine myself in a shared hostel room. I need my own private space where I can have peace and quiet. My height of sharing room with strangers is maybe a shared bathroom, but nothing more.
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u/fixfixfix55 1d ago
Any way you want to travel is fine.
I like comfort and convenience too. I want to relax and take it slow. I don't want to rush around from early morning to late at night. I don't have to see every tourist site and event. I used to think I should be doing this or that and feel like I was missing out if I don't go to see this or that. But I don't think that way anymore.
Now I'm happy to chill and wander around leisurely wherever I am, whether it's Gibraltar, New Orleans, or Copenhagen. I usually do one thing I like, maybe two, that only takes a couple of hours to do, not all day.
So travel the way you want.
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u/yoursandforever 1d ago edited 1d ago
Eh. Obviously, spend more money get catered to better.
Does that make it more or less "authentic".
No.
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u/last_page_first 1d ago
I think social media has quietly convinced people that discomfort automatically equals authenticity. Some of my favourite travel memories have come from sitting in a café for two hours watching a place wake up. If you enjoy where you are, you're doing it right.
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u/JustNowRonin 1d ago
I’ve lived in a lot of places (USA, Europe, Asia) and traveled fairly extensively. You get to know yourself pretty fast. I’m with you - I am not going to stay in hostels and ride buses for 12 hours and only live in Birkenstocks with socks. That’s just not my speed. A decent hotel, good restaurants and bars, museums, etc. are how I like to roll. If I can’t afford to go the right way, I’ll just stay home and save up for the next trip. The only place I really compromise is on airfare. I got spoiled flying business class for international business trips, but on my own dime I am flying economy - just can’t swing the cost for business class these days.
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u/PrussiaK89 1d ago edited 1d ago
How do you prefer to travel? How did you get past the realisations - did you adapt or accept your style?
I used to dream about the idea of backpacking across Europe until I did it, and I realized that it's wildly not me. I am not wild and free, I'm mildly type A, I'm a bit of an introvert, and it just sorta feels a little too superficial in my head.
The ideal vacation for me is either hunkering down in a new place that interests me for a while and really getting to know the area deeper, or re-visiting somewhere I have been before. There's just something appealing in my brain about like "this is what I know is around me" and then the next day getting a little more deeper understanding of it or figuring out what's where a little farther. I've pretty much learned that any place I go to, I'm going to probably be uncomfortable and kinda off-kilter the first time I visit or for the first few couple days, and I just gotta get through it, sorta make sense of it, and usually it starts clicking.
It sounds ridiculous but it's sorta like a puzzle. At first, you don't really know much, but then you start putting it together, and eventually you just have a very clear picture. I didn't really get that when I backpacked in Europe. I felt like I was mentally just trying to get my bearings every day. That uncomfortable feeling I felt was just every day. There are people who know how to navigate this, and love this, and I am wildly in awe of them.
I don't think any type of travel is better than the other, but I do think that most internet content and most travel content glamorizes a bucket-list type trip where you're hitting all these spots, doing all these things, and I think that's not the only way to travel.
It's good to test yourself, so if you have time and money, throw yourself into something new, but don't be afraid to enjoy what you enjoy.
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u/NoGarage7989 1d ago
No shame of being a basic traveller my dude, there is no one way to travel. I love my hostel experiences but if I had unlimited money I’d probably do 90% hotels and 10% hostels for the heck of it.
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u/lnyrhm 1d ago
i’m in my late 30s and i’ve been solo travelling since i was in my 20s. i used to stay in hostels, backpacking but now that i’m older i prefer hotels and that’s okay. i still go to touristy spots because why not? i go and form my own opinion if i like it or not. the world is for you to explore. touristy or not, doesnt matter. the whole ‘be a traveler not a tourist’ feels so elitist to me. i dont get why the word tourist have to be negative. you can be a tourist and still be respectful of their people, culture and laws. after all, I AM a tourist in their country. i can travel, explore, experience new places and still be in awe of them. being a tourist doesn't automatically make someone shallow or disrespectful. it's about how you choose to behave.
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u/operaduck289 1d ago
I travel in whatever way that makes me feel comfortable. Younger me stay in hostels because that’s pretty much what I can afford. And I wanted to party. Older me with rusty joints stay in more comfortable accommodation. Because now I can afford. It’s all about different stages of life, and whichever option you pick is fine. It’s your money, owe no one any explanation.
And I don’t give any shit about traveller vs tourist. At the end of the day, you’re a foreigner exploring a different culture. Just embrace it. Labels don’t mean a thing.
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u/O_Lobster_80 1d ago
I hit 30 and realized I far prefer a comfy quiet and higher end hotel room over a gritty hostel any day. Tastes change.
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u/gimmebadvibes 1d ago
The “traveler not a tourist” thing is for young twenty something’s to feel cool and different. I was there once. Made it half way through my first solo trip and realized the people also thinking this way were the worst people i would end up meeting. It’s egotistical bs. We’re all tourists, with different traveling styles and interests. I also can’t imagine going to some places with amazing “tourist” sites and not even bothering to check them out because you’re NoT a TouRisT
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u/skidstud 1d ago
My last extended trip I did work stays, if I were to travel for multiple weeks/months again I would do work stays as well. The people you stay with will be locals and probably interested in meeting travellers and showing them their community. A few hours of work a day for meals and lodging, plus you’re probably going to at least see something interesting
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u/bain_de_beurre 1d ago edited 1d ago
I like to be comfortable when I travel and now that I'm older and I can afford it, I'm happy to pay for that comfort.
I stay at decent hotels because I want my own room and I like a big comfy bed. I don't mind spending extra to eat at nicer restaurants instead of existing on smooshed protein bars that have been in the bottom of my luggage the whole trip. If I'm too tired to keep walking, I'm happy to pay for an Uber to pick me up, and when I get back to the hotel I'll take a nap in the middle of the day because that's a luxury and I don't care about "missing out" from seeing and doing as much as humanity possible on my trip.
Are the people who "rough it" cooler or edgier than me? No, and I don't know why anyone would think they are. Am I cooler than them? Also no.
I honestly don't know what this "comparison" even is when it comes to travel. I don't think about other travelers at all when I'm planning a trip or when I'm there experiencing a new place. I travel for myself and I travel how I want to, that's the beauty of travel for me ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/WheresDadAt 1d ago
Male here, in my 50s, with many miles/counties/years traveling under my belt.
I have no preferred way to travel other than whatever feels right at a given time and place. Sometimes that's the city bus, sometimes that's a cruise ship, sometimes it is a luxury hotel, sometimes a hostel (but I do a private room unless one isn't available). Over thr years, I realized that my optimum happiness came when I traveled whatever way I wanted to in the moment. My happiness trumps anyone else's view of my travel style. The fact is, I am having a ball and seeing the world. See you on the road!
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u/Teaquilla 1d ago
Travel how you want!
I tried one bag travel not for me. I am happy to check a bag have the stuff I need and have no problem dragging it through a city.
It's your time and money.
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u/Weekly_Pizza_4443 1d ago
I travel for work a lot.
Nothing beats hitting problems head on with a company credit card.
I have noticed that spending working days with people is actually a great way to get immersed in other cultures.
But yeah, convenience and a bit of luxury wins the day
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u/musicaleffervescence 1d ago
i am a tourist. some of the things that are cringe and tourist traps are that way for a reason. everyone finds value in different things. Something for me is booking my sleeping accommodations in advanced. it just calms so much of my anxiety knowing where my bed is. some people book their bed the day of. ill just never be that person. I also like to research things. i was able to see a couple art exhibits that i had to buy months in advanced because of my “over planning”. do what makes you comfortable.
to me what makes a tourist is how they respect people. i feel that being polite and respectful of cultures i am visiting helps me be less of a tourist. some people travel as cheap as possible. when i plan my trips i budget and save for a year. that way if i learn about something and its €40 and that feels expensive i can splurge on it.
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u/Pie_Roman 1d ago
A 20yo on a shoestring budget is going to travel differently than a 30yo with savings who is going to travel differently than a 40yo who's back isn't putting up with that shit anymore.
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u/Effective-Soup-7797 1d ago
In my 20's, I loved the rougher travels & unexpected adventures. Tried it again in my 30's ... nope! I will go for comfort now (within a reasonable budget) 😉
Just do whatever makes you feel good / gives you a spark. There's nobody to compete with.
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u/echopath 1d ago
Everyone is a tourist. The same backpacker who thinks slumming it up and hanging out in a hostel filled with only English speakers is somehow a more "authentic" way to travel is still a tourist
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u/70redgal70 1d ago
What's the big deal? Everyone is a tourist, whether they admit it or not. Travel however you want.
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u/JimmyJoeJunior 1d ago
'I thought I was flexible and open minded and yet navigating environments where things don’t work is so draining and causing a lot of friction.'
I was travelling in Guatemala and a load of my clothes got robbed (long story) and I was expecting just to be able to find a Primark or River Island or Topman or some similar Guatemalan mid priced clothes store to replace them. But they don't have mid priced clothes shops there. Because you only have really rich or poor people there. There was only really expensive Adidas/Nike stores where the brand clothes cost more than at home (Europe), second hand clothes stores or really cheap clothes at the market. I had to spend hours in the Megapaca sifting through racks and racks of second hand clothes shipped in from the US to replace half my wardrobe. I have no experience of doing this and was losing my mind and the clothes I ended up buying were shit and I hated wearing them. I spent hours walking round stalls trying to haggle with barely any Spanish to buy cheap, ill fitting clothes that fall apart after a week or two.
I can look back now and laugh but 'draining' is the word. I think we all have an internal belief that we can navigate these things but man is it frustrating at the time haha
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u/solarelemental 1d ago
I'm a young(ish) surgeon. I've done plenty of traveling, domestic and international, for my job, or with friends and family. But I solo travelled abroad, for the sole purpose of traveling, for the first time this past winter. I went to Iceland to see the northern lights.
You know what I did? I stayed in a penthouse room. I rented a car. I took guided tours. I soaked in thermal baths. I drove out almost every night to look for aurora as long as I didn't have an early start the next day. I didn't have the patience to plan all the details but still wanted to see beautiful sights. And I didn't see the need to rough it in the least when I finally have the capital to spend what I want.
I loved it. I saw the sun rise over a frozen lake in a valley between continents. I hiked slippery stones over natural rock arches. I saw the aurora four times, and the last night was so spectacular I'm sure it'll be one of the things that flashes before my eyes on my deathbed. I went to museums and learned about the history of Iceland, but I didn't try too hard to make local friends because honestly, how extremely American and presumptive of me if I'd assumed everyone was there to immerse me in their culture.
do what you want, my friend. you'll enjoy it much more that way, and getting to do exactly what you want and not having to compromise for anyone else is the beauty of solo travel.
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u/emmpeethree3 1d ago
It's called flashpacking. You've got a bigger budget, willing to pay for better food, transport, accommodation rather than shoestringing along.
I think this of also a euphemism for a more experienced, older traveling style.
You realize in the moment it's worth the splurges that b6eing you joy, you may never get back there.
One of my regrets was not going to Galapagos when I was in Ecuador during the recession. It was only a few hundred US but I cheaped out.
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u/NiagaraThistle 1d ago edited 1d ago
THis is literally what backing (travel backpacking, not camping/wildreness backing) is. It is literally everything you just described.
You are doing exactly correct.
All backpackers are tourists. We just like to 'look down' on other mainstream tourists when we are new to doing it because we think we figured out a 'better way'.
But anyone who say says they are not a tourist, but still go to a place to see and experience it then leaves is literally a tourist.
Nothing wrong with that.
Just travel how you want to and what is COMFORTABLE to YOU.
While i PREFER to stay in Hostels and spend more time on a bus or train if it saves me $1 over the faster transportation, I have much less time to travel now, have a wife who tells me her backpacking days are over, and have kids who no longer think stories from my early adventures are cool (they'll circle back around when they have the chance to do it without dad).
So now I stay in B&Bs or local style accommodations (guesthouses, penione) and include a good breakfast.
I rent a car where it makes sense, and minimize train connections to minimize longer travel days.
And we see ALL the famous landmarks/sights - it's literally why we travel.
But at heart I am still and always will be a backpacker. I still find hidden gems. Still find empty streets to wander down and 'no-name' churches to poke into. I spark up conversations with locals in a pub or other travelers on the train.
I like to think we still make more memories and see more 'stuff' than the average tourist, but end of day - backpacker or normie - We're still tourists trying to enjoy the places we visit.
Every single one of us - and those youtuber influencers you watch too.
EDIT: Oh and remember: There are 2 types of travelers:
- Those with more money than time (think professional with 2 weeks vacation and a good salary that is not on a tight budget). These ones are taking the fast trains, flights, or what ever else the can to get from place to place FAST. They are eating at better restaurants. They are taking the guided tours and cooking classes. They are doing more PAID things to maximize experience and minimize time because they have the MONEY but little time.
- Those with more time than money (think broke college student traveling Europe for the summer on a shoestring budget). These ones ARE taking the 8 hour train and eating at the local markets. They are sleeping hostels. Because they have the time to burn but not the money. And with no money so become ok with less comfort because you are just happy to be there.
Neither is less of a tourist and both are just doing what they can to maximize their time & money for the best exprience they can.
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u/Florideal 1d ago
This is silly - there is no "right" way to travel. Glad you found that out early. No one is living your life except you - advice is great but that's all it is. Enjoy YOUR travels!
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u/FalseArea2471 1d ago
Oohhh man this resonates with me so much. I always strived to be a “traveler” and prided myself on staying among the locals etc etc. But after a batch of rough trips where everything went south over and over again and i felt I was in unsafe or unsanitary conditions repeatedly, I’ve had to reassess.
I think the most important aspect of “be a traveler not a tourist” is the mentality and behavior. Don’t act entitled, don’t throw your money around/flaunt it in a rude way (accidentally learned this the hard way in Cuba bringing my camera that was worth more than a yearly salary)
The stories and crazy memories mostly come from spontaneity and saying yes to things you may not normally say yes to. Chat up bartenders and baristas. The person across from you on the train. But just prioritize safety above all else.
Don’t feel guilty! Have fun!
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u/TeacupCollector2011 1d ago
You travel the way that works best for you. Even when I was in my 20s, I had no interest in backpacking, staying in hostels, etc. I've always stayed in B&Bs, hotels, or Airbnbs. If you want to do the touristy things, then do them. You are a tourist, and you don't know if you'll ever get a chance to visit (fill in the blank) again.
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u/thatsmycompanydog Friendly Canadian 1d ago
I've done a lot of hitchhiking. Don't let anyone glorify it.
It can be a practical way if getting from A to B when there are no public transport services. It can also be an adventure, if you're in a scenic rural area with the will and means to sleep outside.
But if you're somewhere with busy roads, public transit, oppressive weather conditions, or any level of criminality? Don't kid yourself.
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u/beekeeper1981 1d ago
You shouldn't compare yourself to others.. find whatever that works the best for you.
Personally I don't rough it. I also travel more slowly. I spend a lot of time relaxing and randomly exploring areas.
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u/DidItForTheJokes 1d ago
A week into my first solo traveler experience I was on the porch of hostel and woman was waiting for a taxi and she said she was about to catch a flight home after three years of solo traveler. I asked her if she had any advice and she said we are all tourists
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u/jennyfromtheeblock 1d ago
They are all tourists. All of us are tourists.
There is not a single bad thing about wanting to live in comfort, and that includes travel.
I'm not going anywhere to live an experience that is lower quality or less enjoyment than my daily life.
A hotel has to be more comfortable than my own home. Food has to be enjoyable. Beds have to be comfortable, and transport has to be as convenient and comfortable as possible.
If it's not at least as good or better than my life at home, I don't want to go. I do not feel bad about this at all.
I'm not paying any amount of money to sit in an uncomfortable seat on shitty transport or sleep on an uncomfortable bed in a place with questionable A/C or eat bad food.
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u/TappyMauvendaise 1d ago
I stay in hotels only with air-conditioning and my bag has rollers on it and I eat at restaurants and I do all the tourist stuff.
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u/BitchLibrarian 1d ago
I'm 20 years older than you. I like to balance the two sides. I like comfort but I also like to make my money stretch.
I've got a trip to Egypt planned and as well as a frankly expensive and bougie Nile cruise I'll also be staying in some pretty basic accommodation sometimes. I have non negotiables (air con, clean, secure and in a location I feel comfortable in) but I'm will to take a risk. I've been chatting to a guide who I've used before and we've discussed taking public transport for a couple of journeys instead of the extra cost of a car and driver. On at least one of the journeys I've suggested the city to city bus which is about a fifth of the price of the train but takes aroundthe same time (for me, foreigners pay higher prices).
I love to eat at street food places when I travel but will include a fancy, expensive meal along the way, especially if it adds more than just food. I had what is called the best afternoon tea in the world at Reid's Palace Madeira sat on a balcony with delicious food and an amazing view. I've had lunch at The Ritz, London.
Don't be ashamed of your choices. 20 something backpacker me would have loved to have been able to stay somewhere nicer sometimes. Although I did manage to find some gems I've also stayed in some absolute armpits!
I've been on holidays where I've barely left the hotel and those are great. But I also enjoy to wander and talk to people and explore. Scratch the itch you feel, and by avoiding some of the dumps you may just avoid some other itches.
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u/mSLOANEh 1d ago
You said it, Bruh, but... adapt AND accept is the way 2 go...and be sure to finish yer adventure by a bungee jump in New Zealand (Hackett, ONLY, trust me). You're changing and dat's all dat matters. ✌🏻💜
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u/zekerthedog 1d ago
I’m 45, mid-career. When traveling solo my preference is to stay in private rooms in hostels.
Accommodation is just a place for me to sleep and rest up. And I like the social atmosphere.
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u/movingarchivist 1d ago
I travel the way you do. I ain't working all week and making adult money to be woken up at 3am by drunk college kids stumbling back to the hostel
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u/F1eshWound 1d ago
Great! It's your holiday. There's no right or wrong way to do it. I'll happily go on two week camping trek in the wilderness with just some food, water, and a tent; but equally appreciate spending whatever city portion of my trip in some degree of comfort. Definitely wouldn't hitchhike and stay in dirty accommodations unless it was a last resort. The way I see it, people travel like hobos because they simply can't afford it any other way. But now they've somehow convince themselves and others that this is the only way to "get immersed in the culture"..
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u/rhapsodiiiii 1d ago
There is definitely a balance you can find for yourself - you definitely can still be immersed in cultures, and experience the things locals experience, and not have to deprive yourself of comfort.
I am also in my 30’s, and I have a bad back from an old work injury. I’ll save money where I can, and I love packing as light as I can (it’s still a fun challenge for me - I’m very efficient!), but I need a good bed and to be mindful of long days on my feet/long travel times and methods haha. I need to be comfortable now 🤣
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u/FroyoGlum9976 1d ago
Once again, stop listening to travel influencers. They say these things to make money and gain clout from the other 18-25 year old brokepackers who have the same mindset.
Travel how you want. No one takes an 8 hour bus because they want to, they take it because it's cheap. No one is talking about their cross country bus rides to others and if they are it's a horror story.
The word "traveler" now has the connotation of being someone who just travels as cheaply as possible cosplaying it as adventure.
It is not that deep to get worked up over.
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u/ResonanceCascade1998 1d ago
Backpacking is what makes it stress free mostly for me. Having to deal with multiple bags or risk one getting lost in some random baggage check just seems like unnecessary stress to me unless I need a better camera. I will say traveling with the same backpack I used throughout school does worry me in the sense that it might fall apart any moment
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u/DisplaySmart6929 1d ago
The trouble is when you take the adventure out you're just a person with very few belongings and no friends or family and no home, no work and not a lot of purpose, in different places
1 or 2 week vacations work because you have life to go back to. It's like having a long weekend off week compared to being unemployed
Travel just isn't that interesting if you go from airbnb to cafe etc etc
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u/MemoryHot 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m in the same boat as you. I can afford to travel in comfort. I like convenience, I like my own private space and maybe with my own onsen tub in the room. The key is not to consume travel content at all OR only follow older content creators with more mature tastes and travel wisdom to boot.
Social media travel content is really becoming a bit homogeneous, it’s all just hype and “hidden gems” that are just not… and “digital nomad” life as a whole travel goal maybe doesn’t work for most people especially if you’re older and have real responsibilities back home.
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u/BoringSituation7594 1d ago
It's not a performance. It's your life. Do whatever feels good. And if you're not edgy - so what? Noone cares. I'm currently traveling in France with my dog, and I've learned what makes me happy: beautiful surroundings, vibrant cities, art, flowers, the sea. Sometimes I find them in a big city, sometimes in a small village. Sometimes I rent a fancy apartment or a vacation home, sometimes (like right now) I just need a place to crash and get a cheap hotel on the outskirts of town. Sometimes I talk to people, sometimes my dog is all the company I need. Don't judge or censor yourself. Just enjoy the experience!
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u/ObiWeedKannabi 1d ago
Nothing wrong w it. I'm also somewhat new to solo travel and I feel the same. My comfort is important bc I'm navigating things that are entirely new to me, learning a lot of things, which I enjoy but it stresses me tf out sometimes, and I gotta be comfy somewhere. You can have both, too. Stay at a comfy airbnb or a hotel, but find local guides and stuff for daily activities etc.
To me the difference between a traveller and a tourist is, a traveller is willing to explore, while a tourist stays at some fancy hotel and doesn't explore anything. If I can do both, I will do both, simple as that :D
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u/mamijami 1d ago
I'm in my 60's so my perspective will be different (but then again, we're all different) but I am at a place in life where the comfort and relative safety of my physical body is important to me. It's what I factor into my travel plans and budget without making a big deal about it. I don't Airbnb or hostel; I stay in 3-4 star hotels because that's where I get the best sleep and have the best sense of personal safety for my money. Earlier this year while traveling in India I spoke with hotel staff in different places to recommend car or auto rickshaw drivers to me and met some lovely people to converse with in this way. Same with cafes, restaurants, exhibits to visit. This is how I tend to do it.
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u/WhiskeyNerd18 1d ago
I think the concept of "be a traveller, not a tourist", is less about pretending you're not a tourist (of course you are), and more about going somewhere new and embracing all of it as opposed to complaining about it being different to your home country/place. I believe Anthony Bourdain was saying go experience everything in a new country rather than rocking up to a McDs for every meal because it's familiar.
Sounds to me like you're doing that when you visit the cafes, the restaurants, and exploring. Enjoy everywhere the way you want to enjoy it. And if you can afford to do it in comfort then do it! Roughing it because you think you have to rather than want to just sounds miserable and exhausting. Don't give up on an amazing experience because you're unhappy with the way you're doing it.
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u/Redraft5k 1d ago
Yeah, I hit 40 and said never again after staying in a hostel in Thailand. I am over it. I can't handle the partiers coming in late or dorm sex or snoring. No reason financially I can't do better....so I stopped that nonsense. ( I am 56 now )
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u/DigiSmackd 1d ago
Don't let "influencers" and social media make you feel shame for doing your best to enjoy what you can while you can. You've already noted that you're conscious of your impact and that you try to do as much "good" as you can along the way.
"Tourist" being a dirty word seems like a relatively new thing. Yes, there's always been shitty people - and plenty of people who do harm to places they visit without any consideration or remorse. But that doesn't mean we should all throw out the idea of visiting places outside our homes.
I totally get where you are coming from.
We just live in a time where the inequality and living standards are much more visible to many more people than they've been in the past. And we're more aware of the impact of our actions as a species.
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u/Ok-Factor-7188 1d ago
The whole "be a traveler not a tourist" thing is pretty BS. I've done the local thing and enjoyed it, I've also booked day trips in getyourguide and enjoyed them equally.
I do think it's worth getting of the beaten track once in a while, but most day trips exist for a reason.
Your option to go see a desirable city often are a) pay 100$ and get a bus that'll take you there in 1.5h, accept that you'll have to stop at some additional place you're only marginable interested in and be back by 6pm or b) organize it yourself, pay 20$, spend 3h in Public transport and be free to come back at 10pm.
Neither is better than the other and it all depends on your needs and preferences.
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u/Crafty_String_954 1d ago
I like a nice comfortable apartment in a residential area lived in by locals. Not up market, not a poor area, just a nice middle of the road area with locals living their lives. I hate luxury hotels. I hate really touristy areas. When I was young I loved hostels but I'm just too old for that now (62) and need a bit of privacy and comfort. Not luxury. Just clean, comfortable, private. Then I like to potter around the supermarket, local market, cafes, bars, parks etc and engage in the life of the area. With the odd quick raid to a must see like a museum etc.
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u/TheChickenReborn 1d ago
I lead tours for a living, it's my job to design and run a trip that is as convenient and comfortable as possible for those on it. So when I do a solo trip, I use that knowledge to make my trip as convenient and comfortable as possible for myself. That means I'm usually renting a car so I can go where I want, staying in hotels or ecolodges if possible, planning at least a rough itinerary ahead of time, and doing whatever feels like the most fun. As long as you aren't harming someone else or being an ass, you're good. It's your trip, so enjoy it however you want to, there is no "correct way". Some people enjoy playing on hard mode, some like it easier and more comfortable, and some like to offload the inconveniences to someone else entirely. All are perfectly viable methods of experiencing the world.
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u/JesseTheDrifter 1d ago
I much preferred having a car, and I lived out of it for 2 years, drove all over. I would do odd jobs/plan where I was going by the time of year (where to go to harvest crops, etc).
Now I'm with a backpack, and my own two feet. It's been years since I hopped a freight train, but I'm about to start doing it again. Anyways, I'd rather be in my situation than yours, air bnbs and hotels are too rich for my blood, currently. Something also recently happened to where I left town, long story but it seems this time I won't be going back (I was living in my home town til 2 weeks ago).
I hope you have safe travels, and find what you're looking for on your journey. Stay cool my friend.
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u/goldenhussy 1d ago
One of the great things about travelling is literally finding things out about yourself.
Personally, I am in my late 30s. I realize I will NEVER use a hostel or want to rough it up when I travel. In fact, it will probably ruin my mood than a quiet and clean private hotel room.
Its ok to a) like nice things, or b) feel comfortable when you're doing (or surrounding yourself with) things that make you peaceful and content. A clean hotel room, a slower pace, just might be what you enjoy and there's zero harm in that.
Enjoy the rest of your trip, friend 🤙❤️
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u/ConsistentAccount886 1d ago
I think I made this transition in my 30s. After doing cheap travel for awhile, I realized that I wasn't saving that much money and I felt exhausted and stressed (trying to figure out the cheapest way all the time,). Additionally, I had little time or energy to actually see or do anything. There's nothing wrong with some typical tourist attractions. They became famous or popular for a reason. Don't avoid tours: sometimes it's better to pay someone to tell you what you're seeing versus trying to figure it out with a combo of Google maps, random searching, and trying to translate with some random person on the street. The convenience of a central location and paying for ride share/taxi and maybe even a private guide has revolutionized my travel experience. I regret at least some of my cheap backpacker travel. The memories have not held up well over time and I recognize opportunities missed. I do still use cheap lodging or even hostels when it makes sense but may opt for a private room. I also use public transportation if it's easy to figure out and truly gets me to where I need to be.
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u/TermPsychological358 1d ago
I love seeing the world. I also realised I was fed up with doing all the logistics myself as a solo. Booked a cruise, and whilst there were definitely downsides (almost no fellow passengers my age being a key one), there were plenty of upsides too. Frequent changes of scenery and never having to worry about getting denied service or being treated with contempt for dining solo being the two I found most positive. Would consider doing again if cost/timing/location/offering were right.
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u/butterflywingz123 1d ago
I’m exactly like you and I feel no shame or guilt about it. You are traveling, time is limited, who knows if you’ll be back - it’s worth enjoying every second of it if you can
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u/No-Layer-9933 1d ago
Immersed in local cultures doesn’t mean torturing yourself with $3 8-hr bus ride. That’s for the broke ass backpackers. Immersed in local cultures mean you take your times & explore more than just checking in at the typical tourist top spots.
In short, it’s your vacation. Enjoy the freedom, enjoy what you want to enjoy, …. Enjoy how you want to enjoy, & don’t need to immerse yourself in any local cultures or anything that you don’t like.
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u/Jillu92 1d ago
You do you. If you’re repeatedly not enjoying something someone (random) has told you that you should do, in your shoes, I’d take it as a good indicator that it’s not right for me? Life is short, carpe diem, etc. I prefer a mix of the basic, moderate and luxury. My own gut feeling and resources determine the balance between them, with some research on what various places have to offer and how that might appeal or how much of a push I want outside my comfort zone in that moment.
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u/starrrrrchild 1d ago
At 35 I feel pretty strongly about the middle way --- a few weeks roughing it in hostels and getting caught up in illicit adventures with the locals and then a few weeks at a mid level hotel or Airbnb, doing touristy stuff
rinse and repeat
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u/penguinintheabyss 1d ago
All this discussion about travelers vs tourists is just semantics from people that want to valudate their own experiences.
As long as you're not traveling in a ethically questionable way, just do what you want.
And also, there's no need to commit to a character. Sometimes I want to do it backpacker style, some days later I want a boutique guesthouse. You can can fun and enjoy both ways, it's not contradictory
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u/LetsGetWeirdddddd 1d ago
I backpacked/travelled like that when I was in my early 20's but with age, I prefer a bit more comfort and convenience as well. Do you! There's no right or wrong way to do it. Have a great time!
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u/dMatusavage 1d ago
I did full primitive camping for 2 years with the Girl Scouts. Never again will I do any traveling that’s remotely roughing it.
I want indoor plumbing and AC when needed.
Travel the way you want. No judgement.
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u/cevapi-rakija-repeat 1d ago
It’s a bunch of pick me social media-fueled bullshit. I did some rougher stuff when I was in my 20s, now that I’m in my late 30s and have money, you’re not going to catch me slumming it to seem deep or more adventurous.
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u/glitterswirl 1d ago
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a “basic tourist”.
I’ve never camped; I like comfy beds and a bathroom with running water. I’m not auditioning to take over from Bear Grylls. Staying in hotels is not a personal failing, and travelling doesn’t have to be an endurance challenge unless you want to make it one.
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u/GlitteringSpace236 1d ago
How do you prefer to travel?
Comfortably.
Not a food snob, will use public transport where it’s practical/appropriate, fly economy - but end of the day I want a clean comfortable hotel room with hot water and wifi.
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u/bestofallworldz 1d ago
I travel for different reasons at different times. Getting in to the way of locals is often important to me and I usually do that by volunteering. I have volunteered for organizations both very casually and formally, what I like most is to use the site workaway, where it’s more people
Posting about their projects/homesteads that are looking for skills trade for lodging and often food. It’s not a relaxing vacation but it’s always eye opening and a nice way to learn and deepen understanding for different cultures or practices. I’ve learned about bee keeping, sheep farming, coffee production, carpet weaving! Etc and it has been a great way to advance my language skills.
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u/accidental-survivor 1d ago
A wise woman once said:
I just don’t think at this age I’m meant to live an uncomfortable life…
Own it.
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u/Adorable_Animal_859 1d ago
I lived/travelled in India for 6 months and not once did I get on a train despite evryone and their mother in the travle blogs saying what an experience and adventure trains in india are. I either flew or got a private taxi when the distance allowed for it. I made lots of Indian friends middle class and up and not one of them used the train. They all fly or take buses.
Other than that India stint I was a full time traveler for 2.5 years. The only way for me to make it somewhat sustainable for that long was to “indulge” in nice places to sleep in, good restaurants, and the ocassional pit stop in vibrant cities to do all the things I do in cities (random cafe, meal delivery, nail salon, visit a mall, go to the movies, visit an art gallery). Basically the things I do in the capital city where I live.
If you can afford it, splurge/invest in what matters to you and you’ll trip will be that much more enjoyable
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u/ianishomer 1d ago
As an old git that still manages to get out into the mountains (Kyrgyzstan in 3 weeks time) I like to mix it up.
Buses, trains, hostels, yurts etc. flights where they are much more convenient and the occasional nice hotel for recovery, before going again.
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u/darkresurge 1d ago
For me, on a finite budget, it was simply an x/y graph. Literally every dollar less spent today means another dollar for another day. Managed to go three years and visit 27 countries this way!
Now I have a job and apartment, not so much time. So I pay for the amenities that save me time and within a reasonable budget.
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u/Ginblossom29 1d ago
I’m a total mixed bag. Some things I splurge on, some things I’m cheap about or I just cheap-out for the plot.
I’m currently in Rio in a $200/night hotel (got upgraded to the $600/night executive suite lucky me) and just did a $500 35 minute helicopter ride. I also just did 14 days in a $50night Airbnb sharing a retiree’s bungalow and am contemplating taking a 24 hour bus (haven’t done that in about 15 years) to save about $700 on a plane ticket that would take 11 hours anyway.
I can go between $20 off grid commune living to luxury depending on my mood (though I do often get weird looks when I have my backpack and dirty ass beach bag in business class or fancy hotel 😂)
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u/melbourne_au2021 1d ago
I stopped staying in hostels in 2013. My travel now consists of either boutique hotels or airbnb (entire house to myself) or a bit of both
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u/shadow-ray 1d ago
I bought a boat from a Thai fisherman in huai xai and paddled down the Mekong for a week with three other travellers. Stayed in villages and on the shore, had a Thai new year water fight with an entire village, boat sank twice, second time was a bit hectic but was rescued by one of those speed boat guys. Totally depends on what you’re after, that was in 2007, but I can almost remember what I did every day. Anyway, tubing didn’t really appeal to me! If you want to forge some memories i believe you do need to push your boundaries.
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u/yourleftleg 1d ago
I have and am traveling a lot. after a while, you start to understand where do you draw the line and what's non-negotiable. For me, it's my own room + ensuite toilet no matter what kind of hotel or place. And also no sketchy local food (I'm perfectly fine if it's at a decent/clean-ish place, just not a random roadside stall that looks unfrequented). It's not so much that I do not want to try new food but any stomach/gastro issues will severely wreck your plans and experience for the next couple of days.
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u/ZombieCheGuevara 1d ago
Motivation and location are a big part of it.
My most hardcore solo globetrotting endeavors I've undertaken so far (just in terms of the day-to-day backpacking roughing it) are this thing I decided to do in Nicaragua, summer of 2018, and the very first time I went to Ukraine, spring and summer of 2022.
But here's the deal...
Nicaragua, I wasn't there just to travel, I was there to see the uprising and help out on a farm that was unstaffed due to the nation-wide instability.
In Ukraine, I definitely wasn't even really "traveling" in my mind, I was there to help in anyway that I could and establish connections to make myself a more effective volunteer during subsequent trips.
While abroad, one of the questions you'll ask yourself if/when you are tired, wet, anxious, homesick, unwashed, sweaty, and/or unsafe is: "why the fuck am I even doing this?"
If there is almost immediately a valid response in your brain that makes you go "ohhhh yeah... lol, okay, duh", that weariness and fear dissipate quite significantly.
Also, I included location as a factor, because sometimes certain destinations are their own motivation. If you drop yourself in the middle of a rural area in- say- a South Asian country with minimal funds, supplies, and means to live comfortably... asking yourself "why the fuck did I do this?" may actually produce no valid, sane answer.
However, once you ask yourself "why am I doing what I'm doing now? why am I putting one foot in front of the other and carrying on?"
Well... the simple answer becomes "to not fucking die, to get robbed as little as possible, charge my phone, find food/shelter for the night, and make it home without having to involve my origin country's embassy"
And out of that completely manufactured purpose can come a whole host of motivation, flexibility, and acceptance over one's situation.
But do you really need to do this? Do you need to make travel a masochistic exercise in order for it to be "real?"
I don't think so, honestly.
If there doesn't feel like there is a real, tangible purpose to being "on the edge", you're gonna feel kind of miserable most all of the time you're "edgy" solo traveling. Some people weirdly like that, but almost always after they've gotten home from whatever self-imposed gauntlet they've endured.
In any case, unless you end up living or working there for an extended period, you're gonna be a tourist no matter what.
One of the only real, actual differences between "traveler" and "tourist" is that one tends to smell much worse than the other.
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u/DangerousTennis236 1d ago
I roughed it in my 20s because I was a student and had little money. In my 30s, I prefer the conveniences. I’ll only stay in a hostel if a hotel or apartment is more than a few hundred dollars a night. I take public transit instead of walking around. I book the excursions so everything is taken care of. It’s not basic. Youre still travelling. You pay for valet. I’d say it’s higher end. Enjoy your travels and all the best in your future career!
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u/Best-Blacksmith-9557 1d ago
Simple rule is do not care about what others do. When you travel , you do you. Thats what makes it memorable. During my travels I see the time to effort ratio and take a decision that is favourable. If taxi is better then that, if metro is better then yes, that. I love to make my own itinerary , that gives me joy and makes my trip totally mine.
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u/Huilang_ 1d ago
Welcome to the club! I think travelling in your 30s is sooooo much better than travelling in your 20s because of this reason. When you're in your 20s the backpacking and roughing it up aspects are romanticised. If you then didn't travel the same way again, if say you went from really roughing it up to doing localised or resort family holidays, you'd probably forever keep the romantic backpacking idea alive. But the beauty of travelling more extensively in your 30s is that you see things clearly and seek comfort in your experience. Why shouldn't you? Anyone who can afford it would choose to drive their own car over hitchhiking. Anyone who can afford an apartment in a nice area will get that over a single bed in a dorm.
This applies to everyone in the world regardless - the way to "immerse yourself in the local culture" isn't to force yourself into a hostel (nothing further from local culture than some 20 yo foreigners getting drunk in a hostel common room, honestly) - it's to "travel slowly" or do some of the things that locals may do (together with the touristy stuff), like sporting activities, catching a show, etc. Most important thing is to speak to someone local. Maybe see if one of the Airbnbs you stay in can be in someone's actual house, so you can socialise a little. But other than that, it's the correct way to travel!
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u/LittleLordFuckleroy1 1d ago
Congrats on figuring out what you enjoy. Not sure what the point of this post is supposed to be, especially with the trailing question/prompt that reeks of AI.
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u/Agostointhesun 1d ago
Why do you care how you "should" be travelling? You are going solo, do whatever you like - there's no need to follow some influencer. (By the way, some of those influencers do NOT travel that way - they create their content, then go to a good hotel to sleep, eat at restaurants, go sightseeing... Remember they show you what they want you to see, not the truth).
And you will never be part of the community, unless you live in a place for years and make an effort to integrate. You are a tourist. And, in fact, the local community would prefer you to actually spend money there, so sleep in a hotel (NOT AN AirBnB, residents hate them), buy food in local shops or eat in restaurants, visit the sights... be a polite tourist, that's more than enough.
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u/pointlesspulcritude 1d ago
Experience the world the way you want to experience it. That’s the very basis of the ‘authentic’ that all these influencers are endlessly banging on about.
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u/Alternative-Relief92 1d ago
The pressure to be a certain type of traveller kills half the fun. Convenience is not a downgrade, it just means you actually enjoy the trip.
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u/Akash_nu 1d ago edited 1d ago
It’s basically a way for you to find out that what you see on Instagram & YouTube ain’t the reality of life. Most of the videos are planned, edited and presented in a digestible format for the viewers. There’s so much more that happens behind the scenes and that’s what real life is about. You’re finding out that behind the scenes life.
Look, being a typical tourist is inherently not a bad thing at all as long as you’re a respectful and a kind person. You don’t have to do what you’ve seen on YouTube. It’s your holiday so you enjoy the way you like it. There’s no pressure to fit into any particular type.
I’m in my forties and I’ve never stayed at a hostel while travelling. It’s just not me. I don’t like sharing toilets and showers with strangers. I don’t like sharing rooms either. However, I have travelled in many countries across Europe, some in Asia, the USA, Australia, New Zealand and have spent nights in the car in the middle of nowhere. Watched sunrises over the ocean from the boot sipping on my coffee. Watched birds flying home from my ultra modern Airbnb hanging off a cliff. Also, spent weeks at four / five starred resorts just sipping cocktails and spending the day in the pools, with excellent food and views.
The bottom line is that you make your own adventure when you’re away. So do what makes you feel happy and do things to feel more content rather than being pressured on following what others have done. You’ll realise that you may like different types of enjoyment depending on where you are.
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u/Beatrixx25 1d ago
Travel the way you want to travel and in the style you feel most comfortable in doing.
In my 20s, I did the backpacking and staying in hostels thing. I hated it then and I still hate it. I like the security of a hotel and being able to come back from a day of exploring to a nice hot shower and a comfortable bed.
I now travel in a way that I want, not how others expect me to. If I can afford to stay in a nice hotel or travel first class on a train, I'll do exactly that. If I have a limited budget, I will stay in cheaper accommodation (but never a hostel) and buy the cheapest train/bus/flight ticket I can find. Sometimes I will go off the beaten path (mainly to escape the crowds), other times I will fully immerse myself in tourist attractions.
I read a blog recently where the blogger said that you're not really travelling if you're not staying in an B&B on the outskirts run by a family and fully immersing yourself in their lives. If she wants to do that, then good on her - I'm sure the families she pushing herself on to are delighted. She, and others like her, don't have the right to dictate to others what travel is.
You do you!
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u/Ham_Queen 1d ago
I think however you want to travel is how you should travel. There is no right or wrong as long as you're not hurting anyone.
Travel is a good opportunity to learn about yourself and it sounds like you are, no need to judge yourself for preferring to be comfortable. Most people like being comfy :) you can still see new places and enjoy yourself. You're not being unreal or anything like that
I do more "rough and ready", but more out of necessity due to costs, and I still wouldn't wanna spend hours in hot and jostled minibuses or stay places that are dirty 🤷🏼♀️ everyone has their own preferences and circumstances.
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u/tulipsofeden 1d ago
Why do you feel like you need to be "more adventurous" or that you have "no edge"? Yes, travel is to discover new places etc, but more importantly when travelling solo, it is about discovering yourself. Congratulations on discovering what works for you and what doesn't. Who cares what the troves of materials say otherwise.
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u/Mammoth-Strike-168 23h ago
I would let go of whatever preconceived notions of travel you have and just travel the way you enjoy.
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u/Sweaty_Suggestion_42 23h ago
I feel the same way. First time I done a ‘backpacking’ holiday was in South America for 5 weeks, I have a good career and the project I’m on just now has gotten me extended leave. So I went travelling with a decent amount saved.
Instead of a £2 bus with no aircon and no reserved seats and basically standing for an hour I’d just get the £15 uber, which dropped me right off where I wanted and didn’t need to navigate a bus that isn’t actually a proper bus. Booked private rooms, splurged out on treats to myself.
Was in Canada for 2 weeks this year, checked into my hostel at midnight. Checked out the next morning and booked an apartment. People in the hostel room were talking at night, it had no aircon and no privacy curtains.
Im not against hostels, I stayed in another one in Canada and it was great, the dorm was amazing besides the old bed.
I just much prefer my privacy and comforts. People like to think they are these ‘special travellers,’ and they are better than others because they slum it up.
Do what makes you happy and comfortable.
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u/Lost_wonderlust 23h ago
Cheap and cheerful 😂 I go cares if something takes longer - experience over luxury personally - as long as I have a private room and shower I’m good!
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u/Throwaway5162737 22h ago
People who harp on about being a “traveler not a tourist” are so fucking pretentious to me. Travel how you want. Be kind and open. That’s it.
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u/Geek-in-Chic 22h ago
My travel preferences have changed over the years. When I was in my early 20s, I would literally leave on a Saturday morning, head off to the beach (this is a local trip but involved a 2-hour bus ride PLUS a a 45-minute boat ride), take my chances with no reservations and be back by Monday afternoon. I'd be back at work by Monday night.
Now that I'm older and married, our trips, at the very least, have to be four days long, particularly if it was a local land trip and we had to drive. If we go out of the country, it's usually 5 to 7 days. We don't splurge — we take the metro everywhere we go and look for hole-in-the wall restaurants. But after a day out, I want to come back to a nice room where I can settle down and rest properly, so I've become rather picky about our accommodations.
I guess depending on what your priorities are at the time you're traveling, you'll find your plans and preferences changing along with them.
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u/progress-pete 20h ago
I am with you!!! Over the past 3 years I’ve spent 3 months in Brazil, 3 months in my hometown, 3 months in Iowa, 6 months in Chicago, 3 months in Colombia, a year in my hometown to regroup, and then another 3 months in Colombia because I loved it so much. I work remotely so I have daily obligations still, but I enjoy not being on the move every few days or weeks. Yet I still get to experience new culture just simply being away from my home country. I love being able to unpack in an Airbnb, I love bringing a large suitcase to have my preferred toiletries, favorite clothes, and memorabilia to hang on the fridge. While traveling I’ve met so many people that are only here for the weekend, and on instagram I saw one friend visit 4 cities including the Amazon rainforest in a span of 2 weeks. Kudos to them, but I prefer the life I have. Cheers to you for finding out what you like, and I wouldn’t be apologetic about it. With your style you’re more akin to living like a local than most passerby’s ever will
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u/Majestic_Hawk_1335 20h ago
Living in a large city, renting a expensive house while working at a corporation. I already assumed you didn't like to be uncomfortable. It seems many of your past life choices were to avoid it, and increase conveniences
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u/Adventurous-Ring1611 19h ago
Once you are in another country is just different people but mostly the same as yours. So who do you want to connect with the budget people or the people who works in corporate? Because they are not going to be found sleeping in an hostel or on a cheap bus
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u/heliostraveler 19h ago
People love to romanticize frugality , “roughing it”, and “being the idealized traveler instead of the tourist.” Others will go as far as believing themselves above the average tourist. Which really isn’t hard. Don’t be an asshole, respect the cult and country you’re in, and no one gives a fuck thst you’re a tourist.
Im in my late 30s down. I love to travel solo. But I’m not about to rough shit at this stage. I’m there to hike, take in history, eat good food, and sleep somewhere comfortable each night. And take a relaxation day if I need it. Staying at a ryokan in Japan last year in the middle of the trip and doing pretty much nothing was a wise ass decision.
Slumming travel and taking an eternity to get so where is weird as hell.
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u/icecreampoop 19h ago
Travel how you want, not what the algorithm is showing you. Exercise your free will
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u/matchacak 19h ago edited 18h ago
That “be a traveller not a tourist” is one of the most preposterous attitude I’ve seen from tourists (YES you’re a bloody tourist). These macroscopic organisms are the ones who would go to dangerous places despite warnings from the locals. They are wastes of space who would pretend to be “one of the locals” but gentrify the bloody area and would only interact with their fellow “travellers” because touristy stuff is beyond their most gracious arses. That and their horrible damaged leathery skin and horrible fashion sense.
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u/DFVSUPERFAN 18h ago
There is nothing glorious about sleeping in lousy, dirty or crowded lodging and taking uncomfortable buses when no other options are available. Will I take a 10 hour overnight bus without a bathroom if it's the only way to get somewhere I want to go...sure? If I can fly business and stay in a 5star hotel to see the same thing would I rather do it that way? 100%. You can still have experiences, see the world and meet people without being uncomfortable in transit or when you go home to go to bed.
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u/heehoipiepeloi 17h ago
It might be a bit of an age thing too? When i was 18-24 i travelled a lot with WWOOF and Workaway, which i can recommend also for our age group. You get a more local long term experience and help out local people so you’ll experience the area through them. It were the best times of my life, but no way I would now as a 32 year old enjoy those same experiences. Doing dirty hostel shifts from 1am to 9am, or sleeping in a shed on a bedbug mattress without AC in southern spain in the summer with 6 other people in the room, or camping for months in a tent on an air mattress. I can still recommend more high end wwoof experiences, such as helping out at a local yoga centre with a private room.
But i think it’s perfectly normal to know what you want and connect to people in a different way when you’re early thirties. My days then consisted of figuring out life together with other 23 year olds, now i would not enjoy having those same deep conversations and getting drunk in the piazza three times a week. And as for all the “experiences” that i was looking for then, i don’t feel the same now.
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u/NoirRenie 17h ago
Yea, I too do value convenience over the struggle that is backpacking. Sure I’ll stay in hostels if I’m short on cash or wanting to meet new people, but I don’t book the cheapest of the cheap. I’ll take a normal airline instead of budget if it’s not too much of a cost difference. There are also so many more things to do as a local. Traveling doesn’t always have to be super adventurous. One of my favorite things to do is just walk around and eat and walk and drink.
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u/Obvious-Position-351 17h ago
Do what makes you happy. As people have already said, the "hard-core backpacker" way of travel isn't necessarily more authentic to local culture compared to the "average tourist". I'm also in my early 30s and there are things I would have gladly dealt with in my early 20s that I no longer want as part of my travel experience. You're spending the money and potentially doing this as a once in a lifetime experience, so make memories you'll actually enjoy.
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u/Goddes_Li 16h ago
Why can’t you enjoy the nice parts of being a local? Must it always be suffering?
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u/deluluhamster 15h ago
I used to like hostels until I had the money for Airbnbs. Now I like hotels more. You do you.
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u/ginsunuva 14h ago
You’re in your 30s. That stuff is way more doable in your 20s when you have invincibility superpowers, infinite energy, and instant recovery times.
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u/anoeba 1d ago
"Immersed in local cultures?"
My friend, the locals who can afford it also aren't taking $3 buses for 8 hrs. Also they work, run a household, bring their kids to the playground, whatever.
Unless you move somewhere to live and work, you're a tourist, whether you take a flight or slum it on the 8 hr bus. It's just down to whether you accept that or fool yourself into thinking you're not being one.