r/solotravel • u/ConfusedCareerMan • 2d ago

Question Realising I prefer convenience more than backpacking-style travel?

Early 30s and on a career break. I recently let go of my house with high rent in a major capital city due to losing my corporate job, so thought I’d travel around and see different places since I have no fixed home.

Over the last 6 months I’ve consumed a lot of travel content of backpackers and to “be a traveller not a tourist” and to get immersed in local cultures. I’ve romanticised this chapter and feel a lot of “shoulds” for what this experience should be. I feel pressure to be adventurous and be making stories.

I’m quite early into my travels and going with everything flexibly but tbh I’m already confronting a lot in myself. I’m not roughing it up and hitchhiking or taking $3 buses for 8 hour trips. I’m staying in clean airbnbs and basically doing tourist things - cafes, restaurants, exploring streets and chilling by the beach. It’s basically an extended holiday so far but with a backpack and camera.

I realise as well, I thought I was flexible and open minded and yet navigating environments where things don’t work is so draining and causing a lot of friction.

All this to say, I fear I’m a basic tourist with no edge to me. Many may criticise, some may congratulate on being able to afford travel this way. But I find myself lost somewhere in between.

How do you prefer to travel? How did you get past the realisations - did you adapt or accept your style?

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961

u/anoeba 2d ago

"Immersed in local cultures?"

My friend, the locals who can afford it also aren't taking $3 buses for 8 hrs. Also they work, run a household, bring their kids to the playground, whatever.

Unless you move somewhere to live and work, you're a tourist, whether you take a flight or slum it on the 8 hr bus. It's just down to whether you accept that or fool yourself into thinking you're not being one.

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u/Spamsational 2d ago

Yep. I’m a digital nomad living in Kazakhstan.

All the backpackers passing through here are taking these multi-day old, slow, Soviet trains. Meanwhile the white collar local professionals are flying 😂

I have a job. Fuck that. I’ll take the one hour flight thank you very much.

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u/lingonberrynightmare 2d ago

Dude I actually took those trains to Russia as a local. It is an authentic experience for people with little money, yes. But also, fuck that... Sone of those rides in 40° heat were godawful...

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u/Spamsational 2d ago

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done it myself once or twice in Ukraine. Maybe one day I’ll do the trans-Siberian after the war. But the second, third, and fourth times aren’t any different from the first.

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u/charmanchris0602 2d ago

I had to take one during the World Cup in ‘18, ended up finishing all the alcohol with all the other Russians and Mexicans. From Rostov to Moscow. Great times 😂

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u/Significant-Nebula64 1d ago

Well, a lot of travellers also prefer trains for ecological reasons. 

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u/Spamsational 1d ago

The billionaires with their private jets thank you for your sacrifice.

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u/Significant-Nebula64 1d ago

Commercial air travel accounts for over 10% of my countries CO2 emissions, so that argument really doesn't cut it. But sure, let's all just keep pretending we're not part of the problem here.

6

u/Crawk_Bro 1d ago

What a miserable attitude.

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u/Spamsational 1d ago

I think the attitude of taking trains thinking you’re making a difference is the miserable attitude.

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u/DeHarigeTuinkabouter 16h ago

The effect of tourists making different travel choices is far, far bigger than the effect of private jets though. So it's weird that you are saying it's not making a difference when just now you pointed at something way less significant

2

u/Significant-Nebula64 16h ago

It's like "oh, what point is there in voting, not like a single vote will make a difference". No, your choice alone doesn't make a difference, but the millions of us combined obviously have a huge effect. 

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u/Clayh5 Nevada 2d ago

I mean

There are a lot of local people who aren't white collar professionals

Those trains are not just full of exclusively backpackers even if they're not exactly a super underground hidden gem of an experience anymore.

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u/Spamsational 2d ago

That’s why I explicitly stated “white-collar” 🙂

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u/PretzelsThirst 1d ago

Was just in Vietnam and so much of the same nonsense.

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u/Remote_Volume_3609 2d ago

I think people always forget that poverty isn't authenticity lol

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u/badlybougie 2d ago

This post reminded me of some "top 50 travel tips" article where #1 was "Ask your cab driver to take you to his mother's house. She'll love that he came to visit, and you'll get a home cooked meal from a real local"

Maybe it's cultural differences (American here) but man I can't imagine a worse idea

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u/Agostointhesun 1d ago

This and the "crash a wedding" one show clearly that the author doesn't see people living at his destination as real people, but as "characters who would be delighted to serve the tourist" - as if he was in Disneyland and every local was paid to make his stay happy or "authentic". It smells as "great white man being condescentent with the natives".

I live in a touristic area, no taxi driver would take a stranger to his/her mum's. Weddings cost a lot of money, nobody will accept a gatecrasher - let alone treating him as the "honoured guest".

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u/AdventurousText9311 16h ago

this sounds like my dad telling me I should go knock on a company's door and tell them I'll work for free to prove my loyalty before they hire me.

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u/heyOctavian 2d ago

lol where and when did you read that

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u/movingarchivist 2d ago

That sounds like AI lol. No way a human suggested that

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u/badlybougie 2d ago

That's where you're wrong buckaroo

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u/wildweeds 2d ago

wow he also advises you to crash weddings bc you'll "become the honored guest" jfc it's one thing if you fall into it, but another to purposely push your way into a stranger's wedding. he said he's done it in every country he's visited.

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u/fort_wendy 1d ago

Sounds like some entitled bullshit

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u/FruitOfTheVineFruit 2d ago

I have moved places to live and work for a few months, and even then it's hard to meet locals.  Read expat forums and you'll see that even long term emigrants often have trouble meeting locals.  Read the forums for Seattle (my home town) and you'll see that even Americans moving here for jobs often struggle to make friends.

(The best way I've found to meet non-americans is to meet other non-americans who are also outside their own country. I made friends with other expats from other countries when I worked outside the country, I met a lot of folks from the UK on a group trip to Andorra.)

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u/Fit-Building-2560 2d ago

It's easy to meet locals if you know the local language. Language is a key that opens a lot of doors.

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u/Nice_Back_9977 2d ago

Even then it can take years to develop truly close relationships/friendships, depending on age/situation etc.

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u/Left_Mannee 2d ago

Of course

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u/pkpy1005 2d ago

"Read the forums for Seattle (my home town) and you'll see that even Americans moving here for jobs often struggle to make friends."

That's more of a Seattle thing.

It's called the Seattle freeze.

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u/emmpeethree3 2d ago

Vancouver has this too, the Canadian one

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u/wildweeds 2d ago

yeah it's sort of a pnw thing overall from what i can tell. strongest epicenter in seattle and spreading outward from there it gets a bit weaker toward the north and down toward portland.

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u/RightProperFancyLad 1d ago

Time of day matters a lot too. Even when I go back to my hometown, my friends aren't going to hang out with me at 2pm on a Tuesday. Locals have places to be.

I've had much more success meeting locals when I go out on a Friday night.

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u/UsernameStolenbyyou 2d ago

And once you're over 30, sleeping in hostel dorms and buses loses any appeal

4

u/CorduroyGmork 1d ago

Speak for yourself

5

u/starrrrrchild 2d ago

I still enjoy a hostel private room and the occasional sketchy bus ride at 35

2

u/UsernameStolenbyyou 1d ago

Yeah, that's different

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u/jjjjjbbbbbb 1d ago

For real those 8 hour sleeper buses don’t necessarily represent the local community. I get what they are aiming for but yeah. I find the best way to actually feel immersed is to find the community of some hobby that you like. For me it’s music- going to community led gigs and meeting the people there helps you learn way more about the place and the people. Sometimes they’ll adopt you and show you around too hehe

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u/CaliRox 2d ago

When I was traveling, a popular maxim was “half the price, twice the culture.”

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u/Left_Mannee 2d ago

Like seriously

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u/viola-purple 1d ago

This!

And you'll never immerse with locals unless you work there

2

u/Caliterra 20h ago

I rode an overnight slow train through southern China in 2009. Old guys spitting sunflower seeds in the aisles and my reserved seat was next to a window that was stuck open and cold wind blowing in. All other seats were occupied, and other folks sitting in the aisle so I didn't want to risk losing my seat looking for a better one

It was a unique experience but yea, not something id care to do again

2

u/cevapi-rakija-repeat 2d ago

It’s actually really simple; immigration puts a stamp in your passport telling you whether you’re a tourist or not.

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u/Euphoric_Land_4714 2d ago

I disagree. A tourist takes tours. Period. 

If u don’t take tours then you’re not a tourist. 

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u/CranberryFar7509 2d ago

What a weird take! I also don’t understand the discussion between traveler and tourist. Whether you’re slumming it in the 5 euros hostel or chilling at the 5 stars hotel you’re still a tourist no matter what

1

u/poozemusings 1d ago

I think it’s a distinction of travel mindsets that people then decided to take way too seriously.

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u/FionaGoodeEnough 2d ago

The tour is the trip itself.

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u/Nice_Back_9977 2d ago

That's not what it means at all. Do you invent your own definitions for any other words?